Love Without Sleep

Ghosts

https://buymeacoffee.com/rayzorbach

August 31, 2025

Surrounded by those thinking the worst of me,
Outnumbered by the ones who loved cursing me,
Satisfied when they start blaming me,
Revel in every time to start shaming me,

I don't want to open doors I can't close again,  
If I start now, I don't know where it will end,
I'm scared of the tide, where it might lead,  
But these words keep tugging at me.  

I'm not perfect but I'm proud just to get by,
I'm still holding onto the guilt that it took to survive,
And It isn't your fault for all these grudges I bare,
Under all the scar tissue this person still cares,

Can't say that I'm sorry
(When I've had to pay double for every mistake)
Can't say that I'm sorry 
(I can feel the dam I'm holding back starting to break)  
Can't say that I'm sorry
(I'm afraid that I can't say it until it's too late)
Can't say that I'm sorry
(I'm not ready for the things that might escape)

I've just been punished before,
Failure held over me, By those who like to keep score,
There's a storm cloud building inside
And I can't take any more!

I don't want to open doors I can't close again,  
If I start now, I don't know where it will end,
I'm scared of the tide, where it might lead,  
But these words keep tugging at me.  

Can't say that I'm sorry
(When I've had to pay double for every mistake)
Can't say that I'm sorry 
(I can feel the dam I'm holding back starting to break)  
Can't say that I'm sorry
(I'm afraid that I can't say it until it's too late)
Can't say that I'm sorry
(I'm not ready for the things that might escape)

I still see them out there waiting for me,
Lurking for an ambush behind every tree,
Just know through all the show I'm still trying my best,
And I exist in between tolerance and forgiveness,

I don't want to open doors I can't close again,  
If I start now, I don't know where it will end,
I'm scared of the tide, where it might lead,  
But these words keep tugging at me.  

Can't say that I'm sorry
(When I've had to pay double for every mistake)
Can't say that I'm sorry 
(I can feel the dam I'm holding back starting to break)  
Can't say that I'm sorry
(I'm afraid that I can't say it until it's too late)
Can't say that I'm sorry
(I'm not ready for the things that might escape)



Can't Say That I'm Sorry

The Job
(c) J. Murdock McInnes Vasey

This job is not for me
The bright lights 
on plastic faces
The false cheer 
and hopeless hopes
while inside we try to cope


We stare at screens
real life unseen
we look for one last trick
the one last phrase
to make things stick
to win the race

what harm we do not care
though mostly unaware
what we do is not for us
for others rarely seen
we have no purpose of our own
we are part of the machine

today I walked away
I couldn't do it anymore

today I walked away
I couldn't do it anymore

today I took my pay
I was looking at the door
In my head, I heard the line
"you won't, see me, no more"

Outside I saw the sun
and I felt that I could run
I would have laid down on the ground
Just relaxed and heard the sounds
Life was waiting to begin

[instrumental]

what harm we do not care
though mostly unaware
what we do is not for us
for others rarely seen
we have no purpose of our own
we are part of the machine


today I walked away
I couldn't do it anymore

today I walked away
I couldn't do it anymore

today I walked away
I couldn't do it anymore


today I took my pay
I was looking at the door
you won't, see me, no more
"you won't, see me, no more"
no more

[instrumental]

Outside I saw the sun
and I felt that I could run
I would have laid down on the ground
Just relaxed and heard the sounds
Life was waiting to begin
waiting to begin

[instrumental]

Outside I saw the sun
and I felt that I could run
I would have laid down on the ground
Just relaxed and heard the sounds
Life was waiting to begin
waiting 
to begin

[end]

The Job (B side)

Shoot Out At The University Fair by Drive Like I Do (The 1975)

This is an amazing instrumental track by Drive Like I Do (the 1975). It makes me feel like a bubble. For some reason. Imsorryimweirdandcringey.

Foreword - Drive Like I Do (the 1975)

This is one of the best oldies by Drive Like I Do (the now "The 1975"). At this moment, I can't stop listening to this and "Wolves". And Oh boy, the live version of this song is gold haha.

The Go - Drive Like I Do (the 1975)

This is the track that I have been meaning to upload - it's a softer version of the song "Wolves" from the  1975's "Drive Like I Do" days, and it's my favourite version. Even now, I still can't stop listening to it. To me, this sounds more like the actual "The 1975" than many of their old stuff. But it won't stop me from listening to it too much until a point where I'll hate it. I'm sorry Matty.

Enjoy

Wolves - Drive Like I Do (the 1975) [Version 2]

Quite an old track which I think is still really underrated. This still features generally unintelligible vocals from God's favourite human being. Love you Matty <3

Enjoy.






SOUXIEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Wolves - Drive Like I Do (the 1975) [Version 2]

Vampire Melon