Freshy Kanal - Frodo Baggins Vs. Ancient Egyptians Rap Battle Ft. Freeced, LittleFlecks & More

Denji Vs. Ash Williams

Not mine, this audio belongs to Freshy Kanal
Cam Steady as Steve
Freshy Kanal as Sackboy

Steve:
What's a couple little planets to domains that are limitless?
Your shitty sandbox could be my kitten's litter bin!
I'm a, Smash hit, and a, great digger,
Forget bedrock, I can, break Twitter!
You got some geeks hyped with your PS5 title, yo,
But lost your creativity, now you're stuck in Survival Mode.
Ripping shit from Mario couldn't get you on track, boy,
Stole so many parts that they should call you Ransackboy!
I thought your bubble's burst, so, who would have expected.
That it must've turned to night because the dead's been resurrected!
Yeah, you built all these platforms, your game couldn't get one.
This fool's made of wool, it makes sense that you're slept on!

Sackboy:
Sackboy's the face of space exploration,
You ravage landscapes for exploitation!
Keep raidin' natives to farm up their trades, then.
You'll find me saving a slave population!
What happened to the indie game with blocks, that had you think outside the box.
You went from herding cows to getting milked for every drop.
No one cares about your Dungeons or Pokémon, stop!
How can your world be infinite when you fell off...? *ahem*
So what's poppin? It's the pocket puppet and I'm here to pull the strings!
You got a single hotbar, while I got a poppit full of em!
I'm pullin up the poppies for your funeral, I'll bury you.
6 blocks deep, you see the lava there? I'm daring you!
Your flatland's sacked, yea this sock's poggers!
I'm not bothered, I could drop ya like a hot hopper!
Ain't see a track that bad since you mocked Usher,
Ironic you're leavin' the box office, without a blockbuster!

Steve:
You've dug yourself a hole straight down and can't escape it,
I've seen people fall less flat in sack races.
Your entire sack race is more obscure than your return is,
If you wanna be a hot topic, hop into my furnace!

Sackboy:
Yeah, your memes got you put into Smash,
But is it a shock that they thought to invite ya?
With let's players taking advantage of fans,
All you seem to do right is lure creepers to miners!

Steve:
They say third time's the charm, but you're proof that's a lie.
Since your third game scared off your fans and Stephen Fry.
There's a trillion chance you could get Dream's trades,
Still more likely than someone playing your Dreams game!
Oh dang, guess you're the reason they cut your team quick!
Mojang's just like netherrack, we always keep lit!
Okay, that's how your releases were received then!
Sony's sick of your stickers and shoved them where your seam splits!
Squaring 'gainst my level of experience will cost you,
Couldn't graze my skin when you've been hiding in a costume!
You'd only ever blow up if you self-destruct,
This battle's like The Negativitron, PS: you suck.

Sackboy:
Look, I saved a marriage, Alex said you wrecked yours,
You couldn't last a single round of fuckin Bedwars!
It's the L-B-P MC against Steve, who
Couldn't handle beats with a million of his beetroots!
Swedes used to be neutral until MineCon,
Fired Notch cause he turned Minecraft to Mein Kampf!
Wreckin' the Collector and restoring hope,
You couldn't keep a Stronghold, now there's cobwebs on your Story Mode!
And once your geek fandom sees the damage I've done,
Not even PewDiePie could help you come back from this one!

Minecraft vs. Little Big Planet - Rap Battle!

Not mine, this audio belongs to Freshy Kanal
Luke Reardon as Doctor Eggman
Freeced as Jack Horner
Doobus Goobus as the Ethical Bug

Doctor Eggman:
(OHOHOHOHOHO!)
You're a fool to fight with Ivo Robotnik!
This will be easy as pie, with all my mind has accomplished!
"Doctor, I have a problem! I'm as cocky as Sonic!"
Then I prescribe five missiles that I've locked in from my cockpit!
Now BEHOLD! This is how an egg runs shop!
I don't need an emerald to wreck a hedge-fund-hog!
You're a giant in the shadow of a doll that's 5'4",
'Cause no one would bear witness to the Ultimate Eyesore!
I'm the greater thinker: this inventor hypothesizes
Jack's already been lobotomized; now I'll roboticize him!
Take 'ya big thumb; I'll show you a space to insert!
Step to me, I'll step on you until your name's the Pink Blur! (Hoho!)
Jack Horner, get back in the corner; stay in a sulk!
And that's an order, you man-baby; you wait 'til you're told!
I'm Midas touched, so like the Olympics, I'm taking the gold!
You're uncontrollable, chaotic; I am chaos controlled!

Jack Horner:
This guy is a grand inventor?
One rodent can blow up all his planned endeavors!
So I don't intend to sit here and withstand a lecture
From a man who rocked up looking like a band director!
Nicknamed the Eggman, boy; how'd you get that?
Is it 'cause every machine you make will break fast?
Humpty Dumpty with a big 'stache gon' be dead last
When I crack his head, scramble him in my next batch!
How about you calculate the redundancy of a theme park in space?
People can scream from just one look at your face! (AAAH!)
Doesn't it sting? The whole of Mobius loathes you! (Hahaha!)
Dozens of rings, yet no one you could propose to!
How did Gerald's grandson become an utter bore?
Kidnap Elise again; you two deserve each other more!
What would Grandpa think, seeing you fail at love and war?
Maria's shelf life ain't as sad as what you've done with yours!

Doctor Eggman:
Keep that weak spiel going; see if I care!
I'll make fleets from the harmless creatures that fill your nightmares!
My perfect mind will always beat your mystic arts!
I'm done whizzing on the moon, now I'm pissing on your wishing star!
You're about as subtle as a baby brown bear,
So get Amy down from there, Mr. LazyTown Hair!
I run at a pace not even the speed of sound dares!
Don't you stare down with me; you can't make it downstairs!
You're not a mob boss! Can it, Lord Smallquads!
Love life is like Excalibur: you cannot get your rocks off!
I'm dominating! Down a potion you can compensate with,
And get filled with more toxic chemicals than one John Mulaney!
Parents thought you'd be met with applaud on stage for their business,
Now the only noise you're hearing is from crickets!

Jack Horner and Ethical Bug:
Jack, leave the man alone; he's too old to fight you!
You're right! Baldy needs to make-a-wish more than I do!
Wha-- p-put yourself in his shoes, at least!
I would, but my feet aren't the shape of size 50 toucan beaks!
I've had some bad accomplices and watched them die next to me,
But those Dalek nipples are by far the worst accessory!
With your Mean Bean Machine, you can't prove Jack
Except like your little plans, you should've never been hatched!
Run off with your army of prototypes, and then get a pro to type!
You got no bars left, since Prison Island got pulverized!
Before you leave for your mushroom planet and get stranded in it,
Take him to the trophy room! I pronounce this battle... finished.

Jack Horner vs. Dr. Eggman - Rap Battle!

Not mine, this audio belongs to Freshy Kanal
Chase Beck as Santa Claus
Freshy Kanal as Satan
McGwire, Cami-Cat, RaccoonBroVA, Freshy Kanal, Freeced, JustGamer, Johnald, Mike Choe & Swizkii as Elves

Santa Claus:
I'm dropping off some gifts before you start the apocalypse,
'Cause Old Saint Nick don't play with H-E-double hockey sticks!
Deceiving all the humans that you're so below,
So I'll clean the Garden of Eden up like a hoe hoe hoe!
You were given all of Heaven's beauty, so what did you lose it for?
Let's make Lucifer a few trimmers so he can lose the fur!
Staged rebellion 'cause you weren't cared for like God?
Gambled your future with those snake eyes, and your pair of dice lost!
When I'm inside chimneys, surrounded in smoke,
I may be high on rooftops, but I can smell you're brimstoned! (Brimstoned!)
So like it's church, I'll be confessing the truth
When all it takes to vanquish your sin is to step in a booth!
And you're the bringer of light? Say, that reminds me:
I got a job for your bottom at the top of my pine tree!
You specialize in phony scams; I specialize in long letters!
They tell me you're not a villain; you're just a call center!

Satan:
It's the path of Satan that you've crossed with.
Check Faust's contract; see how I deal with Clauses.
I fell from the heavens and got a new life.
You fell from a roof... and fucking died!
Worship me, you sad hoax spread at Christmas time!
I was made to rule over you; I'm the Prince of Lies!
You're not made to guide a human through their childhood,
'Cause they don't know if you exist; they just fear that I could!
There's no visit if your parents don't have bucks to spend!
Swig a glass of milk, 'cause you're favoring the 1%!
You witness struggle, and then step away!
Tiny Tim won't walk when you're handing him a candy cane!
Spying on resting children, you're always watching!
Must be a treat to stuff our nights with Christmas "stalking"!
Everything about you is a scheme to net dough!
Led by a red nose; fitting when you represent Coke!
It's Boxing Day when they punch the clock just to not get paid!
And I'm the snake, yet Claus escaped on his sleigh when the audits came!
How awful; I'll offer a proper wage and gold benefits!
Sign here; it'll be your last will and Old Testament!

Santa Claus:
You couldn't make me sign that while hanging over your lava!
Want me to sell my soul? I thought the devil wears prada!
I circle the equator, drop presents around the nations!
You couldn't make a starving man give into temptation!
You went from burning girls in Salem to persecuting gay folks!
Sprouted those horns, because you're nothing but a scape-goat!
Up in the clouds, you were handed it all,
Until you let your ego grow, and you got decked out the halls!
You had your entire wishlist get checked off by God,
But you only became worth writing down when you fell off!
Just because you spend your time with guys out fiddling kids,
It doesn't mean you have the skills to try out-fiddling kids!
The Bible says a thief must provide for restitution,
But you acted as your own judge, and you still chose execution!

Satan:
They praised your day; now it frightens the devout.
Why, you've left it like a postcard, with Christ X'd out!
Caused the world to stray from God, but turns out after all,
You moved the pastor's traditions with kids into the mall!
Wring families dry 'til there's a sacrifice made!
They'll pay whatever costs, like it's Black Magic Friday!
Corrupted the day of being grateful, and you dare say I'm the devil?!
All you've done was damn the Christmas spirit to my level!
So try to forbid me; your efforts are fruitless!
You're chewing on cookies; I'm gnawing on Judas!
You need an Eve to cheer up the world's needy?!
I just needed Eve, and I doomed the whole species!

Santa vs. Satan - Rap Battle!

Not mine, this audio belongs to Freshy Kanal
McGuinnsBook as Kratos
Mega Ran as Maui
McGwire as choir vocals

Kratos:
Flee or start your prayers to the god of your creation.
If they sent me after you, then you must be forsaken.
I went through Hel's scorching borders and coldest corners in fistfights.
You'd piss your grass skirt if your reputation's on thin ice!
BOY! There was a demigod hated near and far.
He decided no one loved him, so he had to steal a heart.
Was it worth his sense of purpose, changing Earth with dirty tricks?
'Cause once he died, he still had not a single soul that worshiped him!
When the tides turn on this fraud, he falls apart on the spot!
What kind of islander god would sink in water like rocks?
You offered the Earth gifts, but you're shallow on the surface!
You can shapeshift to a bird's skin, but can't change to a better person!
This is my fate; I decide when wars are over!
Cut you into shape; this is how you make a soldier!
You provide for the praise and strengthen your culture,
But when they cry for your aid, you offer a cold shoulder!

Maui:
We all like to goof a little; trust me, I won't judge you.
Although, I don't murder all of Greece; you know, like some do?
I spend my time creating mountains and kingdoms you might cross;
I probably made the island you and your shame like to hide on!
So thanks, but I'm gonna decline the olive branch that you offered politely! (No thanks!)
You've been hiding inside of that ivory tower, so why don't you come down and fight me?
You pray all alone because you eviscerated your only love!
You keep your emotions like coconuts, 'cause I gotta break you to open up!
You say that I'm the one shifting the shape? You play pretend as a Norse deity!
You threw your mythology away like a Spartan's deformed baby!
I rock the boat with the fire that I gave to humankind; I don't take lightly!
So when I'm striking the son of Zeus twice, there's a funeral worthy of fake Vikings!
I got tattoos of all my victories, no sweat!
While the only mark that you've left is yet another one on my chest!
Mine are a map; yours are just ashes to ashes,
Directing to the exactly zero family members you have left!

Kratos:
I was fighting in the field 'til I no longer had chains
While you were marinating inside your man-cave!
Hid away since your parents saw your face and were sickened!
Don't be surprised if I go overboard like you as an infant.
So many wars helmed; I forged through Greece and the Norse realms!
I lived through lives in the damn time that you spent writing an anthem 'bout nothing but yourself!
I chose my solace, while you were just banished away as a lonely convict!
Your boat's on water, but the stars couldn't help you find any excuse for your broken promise!
So I'll raise a toast to this fraud who's loathed by most of the coastal goddesses!
He's a pussy from start to end, as his fate was woven onto him!

Maui:
Maybe add a sense of humor to your massive arsenal; you don't seem that amused!
Got so many weapons in stock, yet you're the biggest tool for Athena to use!
I held up the sky, dealt with the fire, and those ain't my greatest stunts!
You scream at your loved ones 'til they're long gone; do I gotta show you how to raise a sun?
You got me actin' like Baldur, 'cause all your blows are painless!
For once, take a step back; this ain't the cliff you fell from!
To all the pantheons that I saved from eradication
By finishing him once and for all, you're welcome!

Kratos vs. Maui - Rap Battle!

The two legendary turret constructers, Torbjörn and The Engineer, face off in this epic Overwatch vs. Team Fortress 2 rap battle!

Get the song!
iTunes► https://itunes.apple.com/us/album/torbj%C3%B6rn-vs-the-engineer-single/1311211604
Google Play► https://play.google.com/store/music/album/VideoGameRapBattles_Torbj%C3%B6rn_vs_The_Engineer?id=B25qx5rnkcloh34g7qulaqldbce
Spotify► https://open.spotify.com/album/0rzVN4v2slHmUzjnS45QNl

LYRICS:
Torbjorn: 
Spitting like a sentry, my rapping's dispersed,
scrapping your outdated game and I'll be crafting this verse!
Never passing my defensives, you'll be going berserk!
That's right, it's Torbjörn, ready for work!
I've stopped a bot-caused apocalypse!
I'm sure that I can topple over Texas hicks!
Drop Dispensers for what's in store,
'cause I flow hot as Molten Core!

Engineer:
Whoa there fella, you're comin' up short,
But that's all that I expected when I'm rapping a dwarf!
You're flat out useless, your characters busted!
Time a foreigner's shown some Frontier Justice!
Teleporters, health Dispensers, Sentry Guns,
I'm a dozen of your heroes rolled up into one!
I solve a problem, you amplify,
I mean the Omnic Crisis was your design!
Torbjörn: 
You claim you've got intelligence, and yet you still resort,
to cracking jokes about my height, well I'm not a dwarf!
But if you'd like to blabber some more,
Then I'll smite you with the hammer of Thor!
The real OG, first hero made!
While your class is the most over-played!
I may create, but I'm destructing now!
You've built up your ego, I'll break it down!

Engineer: 
You treat the Omnics like lesser scum,
I thought Southerners were the racist ones,
And you've got eight kids in that family of yours?
You'd think an Armorer'd use protection more,
I've got a Widowmaker of my own, I'm a sharpshooter,
No Hospitality for this intruder,
When you're Wrangled in, hear the screams of pain,
more than your team when you're picked for games!

Torbjörn (speaking): 
You were merely a prototype, I am the latest and greatest!

Engineer (speaking):
Well, at least people can pronounce my name, Tor-B-Jorn!

Torbjörn (speaking): 
THAT'S TORBJÖRN!

Torbjörn: 
If what you just presented's the best rhymes that you wrote,
then you'll malfunction even worse than your Competitive mode!
You've got repetitive flow, I'm always better than foes!
Stay out of my way, I'm in the zone!
You're a hunk of junk, I'm master race!
Now watch as I improve your face!
You can't repair your past mistakes!
You've reached your Expiration Date!

Engineer: 
Your battle raps just prove the fact,
That you should never be picked on attack!
Just broken game mechanics and Torb works it?
That's the definition of a Short Circuit!
You're a drastic radical oddity!
Just drop your robot philosophy!
Either stay eliminated or you'll live with the truth,
That every other hero does their job better than you!

Torbjörn vs. The Engineer - Video Game Rap Battle

Nemraps as Bowser
VGRB as Dr. Eggman

LYRICS:
Bowser
This be the King of the Koopas 
Backed by my army of troopas
I trap with the princess you try trappin critters
but we’ve got the shell’s that’ll shoot ya
Right out the chopper that you just jacked from me
You face the monster, conquering galaxies 
Hide in your lab while i’m rockin’ the castle
cause You lose to animals in every battle (like whoa)
I’m a Super Star Saga you’re just trash from Sega
Who lost a mascot contest to his own rival what a failure
So I’ll flame ya, I fight gory, lick my lips cause I like poultry 
Squeeze my jaw and eat you raw that’s what I call an inside story

Eggman
Lectured by lizard brains? One thing that I must ask then
Did you look back at all your games? Cause you lose to the mustached men
This turtle’s slow if he thinks that he’s tough 
To beat you all I have to is just jump 
Over you and into the lava your dunked
I’d be more threatened rapping against Doug 
Bowser go back in that shell so you can hide coward
Are you rapping in your final form your flow is dry bowser
I’m a mad genius you’re a buffoon, I’ll turn this dragon to my dragoon
It’s absurd my flow is out of the world as if I had just pissed on the moon

Bowser
Maybe invent something to hype your rap flows
Battle with gadgets my spikes’ll trash those
Claim that your genius is simply unmatched though 
You couldn’t craft a way to get in smash bros
Eggman, Robotnick whatever you call it
I’m gon’ leave this doctor so splattered like Pollock
Cause over the years, I got rough and tougher
But based on your movie you got dumb and dumber
and you’re supposed to Carrey that film? please
That mess gonna bomb like I gave it down B 
You redesigned the hedgehog to look clean
But can’t redesign all that bad comedy 
Shouldn’t have brought the faker to battle
Cause even your copies live in the shadow
of evil’s Og, so flee or the king
 will leave this egg boiled from fire I breathe

Eggman
I wish that your movie got redesigned too
Where the greatest part is when you devolve to ooze 
You spit fire true, but still it’s no sweat
because you’re only hot when you turn to Bowsette 
And capturing women is such easy targets 
I’ve seen harder beasts hatching out of chao garden 
Think you’re superstar kid you’re just in the bush league
Did you get amnesia a second time Rookie?
You’re plots end with no payoff, 
while I drop gems and spit chaos
You can flash your fangs and go gas your flames
But I’ll just swing your tail and you’ll take off 
How bout I give you a visual though
A dino extinct by the doc’s missile flow
and now I’ve trapped this beast you are not the OG
You’re not even Mario’s original foe

Bowser Vs. Dr. Eggman

VideoGameRapBattles "Cam" as Bendy
Mcgwire as Cuphead 
Produced by Summer Kid Slay
Mixed and Mastered by caelix

LYRICS:
Cuphead:
Think I’m getting just a little Deja Vu
Explain what is the deal with all these devil dudes
Cause if a demon tryna battle with this steaming china 
buddy then you must be hangin’ with the tipsy troop

I wish that Joey Drew a more threatenin’ foe
Let’s let our titles both decide who’s best in show
The one without a soul who pushing out his games on mobile
Or the man who lands a netflix show 

Call us rivals? Don’t be insane 
You got 30s style, in a 3D game
now Talk about how much coppin’ out it’s lame
Like Dark Survival, You can’t be saved 

I quest across the country for a legendary chalice
Your maker tossed soon as  he could ink a deal with alice
You look a little dry from being made for kids
So tip me over and suck on this

Bendy:
Well Cuphead seems to act the same
He likes to roll the dice
He came upon the Devil’s game 
And Gosh he paid the price
And now he’s fighting for his life
In a mission fraught with dread
And once the devil spits some rhymes
The devil takes your head

Say you wanna take another gamble with the devil?
then You’re blowing more steam than your buddy elder kettle
just go mug at all your losses from a dozens different bosses
We would never come to crosses cause I’m on another level

I’m coming from a series that is ripe with scares
But you’re the freak belongin’ in a nightmare fair 
Try and pull peashooters on me you’ll be down and out
Save it for when Mugman givin’ you a round a bout 

Cuphead:
And you think you’re takes are the best?
You’re ink game is making a mess
And I spit so mean it puts demons to rest
oh so fast like the phantom express

While you wander all round your map
I run and gun and gun on the track
Call me your studio give you the axe
and leave you on the cutting room floor like your act

Bendy:
Sad your rappin’ isn’t harder than game
I’m surprised your verses didn’t get delayed
And no amount of challenge with your difficult controls
can hold a candle to the ample dark souls I claim

Have to say you are the weakest of my foes
Cause it’s an ink machine against a little rubber hose
Now my time’s done here, thanks for comin’ to my show 
See you in 5 more years when you want another go

Cuphead vs Bendy and the Ink Machine

VIDEO RELEASE OCTOBER 31st 3PM EST

GamingPlush64 as Salad Fingers
Azia as Marionette
Eddiefrb as Phone Guy (cameo)

Salad Fingers:
Hello..
They call me Salad Fingers - a mad distinguished chap
And i’m not ‘bout to Give Gifts with how I spit in rap
So come into my kitchen - there’s a fish in the back
Grill ya like Afton so that this kid cannot spring her trap
You’re not scary or special
Scott is more scared of his perilous schedule
Cranking out games just to carry a threshold
Milks you so hard, call you Marionettles
*deep breath* it’s not often that greed’ll
Turn a christian to a conman to shoppers 
but a deal was offered and Cawthon agreed
And then suddenly, POP! went your weasels, it’s awful
You’re such a tryhard, pleasuring off of fright caused
I’d say that you might want some therapy with your
Silly little wind bar making the player’s lives hard
and baiting out the nightguard like a Jeremy Fischer
On Firth impression honestly i’m not that threatened
Not to mention all that poppycock of your story’s connection
Led on and left gone by the retconned wrecked plot that Scott invented 
He left his audience guessing and let you rot in suspension

Phone Guy:
Hello, hello? You’re… Mr. Fingers, right?
You dodged out of the Great War... so it seems this is your first fight
I’ll give you a few pointers, so just keep sittin’ tight
But watch your back! ‘Cuz like FNaF 1 -

Marionette:
-I’m killin’ the Mike. *FNaF2 Jumpscare sound*
I’m hoppin’ out the box and crawlin’ down the halls
A monster on the prowl to hunt you down so best turn off your power, kid
Keep talkin’ out your ass, I’d call ya Salad Tosser
What’s a little tacky gross out horror to the modern internet’s jumpscare king
It sounds like you’re only rated R with an ASM in front of it
I would tell you to “stuff it” but judging from your head and limbs
That’s my job, this pathetic wimp’s a living Endoskeleton
A manic that’s as barren and disheveled as his residence
Who’s lame show caused less trauma than the Bite of 87 did
Lyrics or content, i’ve got the better flow - quit dropping bars and drop a new episode
Call it 4/20 cuz your leaves are getting smoked - you’re the crouton of the internet’s salad bowl
All of that Flash Animation is blinding poor David to proper showrunning ways
Got us all waiting for Episode 12 like “tomorrow is another day”


Salad Fingers:
Quit giving’ gifts to little kids and give some life to your withered disses
Come join my other friends, Puppet, I’m wicked with ventriloquism
You couldn’t police me with your whole database technology
Your rapping’s rusty… for once I hope it doesn’t rub off on me
The bars I write ought to hit, but it seems you’re the opposite
I suppose it’s no surprise that Lefty is non-dominant
And I would say your soul’s less free than if this puppet was a sock
You’re just another broken shard that I will lock back in their box

Marionette:
Your familial trauma left scars more than a mask covers
The sands of time won’t smooth out all the horrors of Glass Brother
Were poor in the past, and now have no porridge to pass mother
No drawer’s there to patch that now a flesh boy is all that loves ya
This lunatic is more crooked than his back and it’s strange that you’d even hop upon a track to spit
But it seems that your flow is just another inanimate object that you’re interacting with
You’re detached from reality and this battle was your last chance
So try to mend your relationships, but SAVE THEM - you can’t.


Directed by Eddiefrb
Written by Eddiefrb
Mixed and Mastered by Freshy Kanal
Instrumental prod. by Anywaywell and Freshy Kanal
Salad Fingers Illustrated by CyanCoat

Salad Fingers vs Marionette - Rap Battle (ANIMATION VS ANYTHING)

CamVGRB as Goku
Shadyvox as Sonic
Written by CamVGRB
Beat by Hollywood Legends
Mixed and Mastered by Freshy Kanal

Goku Vs. Sonic

Official Page for Cam Greely/VGRB (Yes it's actually me)
I make rap songs and VideoGameRapBattles.