man the truth is i ain’t used to how i’m tryna feel
nuance is a nuisance 
it’s a bruise that i be tryna heal
it’s the noose that i keep tying still
if i let it, it would fester 
and remove me from my higher self

in my youth i wasn’t stupid i was high as hell
everything i knew, what i’d been through
had helped me find what’s real
the thrills that i abused weren’t just my muse
they were my clientele
thru the pills i tried and failed
water moving through the well 

so is it better that it never worked?
if my efforts to reset had put me in the dirt
if my demons never creeped in would i go to church 
levels learned, heaven hurts
soon i’ll get what i deserve

my fear is what i’m near
all these years spent on the search 
every other weekend is a season or another curse

when what i’m seeking 
seems to re-emerge 
i can’t seem to see it 
for a reason that i’ve yet to learn

like all those secrets that i haven’t heard

give me reasons 
give me peace in which i never earned

i can’t keep it if it leaves then i just let it burn

i can’t see what i can’t reach 
what i can’t ever hurt

so if i tell you the truth 
would you hear it 
through those lies that i keep telling to you 
would you see me 
through those eyes that you put weapons into
it’s a portion of my pride 
that been expecting your view

and i think therefore i am 
i’m no better than no man 
still i settle where i land
smell of petrol on my hands
sedatives keep settling in 
built my temple up in the sand 
now i can never win

i think you get the gist
i think too much 
about the stuff that i could never fix 
for what it was 
whatever wasn’t was a reckoning 
i had to love to live 
just a degenerate 
i learned that everything i’d done 
was never genuine 

that’s a lesson that i kept 
and i accepted i could never run
that’s a severance on my tongue
that’s transgression that i trust

, a pleasure that stung
if pain could show it’s face 
it’d look like everything i love


prod. Isaiah Kaleo

truth

zane