Nathyn - Self Destructive

Artist: Entity
Composers: Entity, Christopher Joel Martin
Lyricist: Christopher Joel Martin

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Someday
Somehow
I'm gonna figure it out
But not
Right now
'Cause there's too much goin' on

I'll wake up
And I'll disappear
I've had enough
Of living with these fears

I don't wanna be here

Someday
Somehow
I'll fucking figure it out
Why not
Right now
While my whole life's goin' wrong?

I'll stand up
And I'll walk away
I've given up
With coping through the days

Someday (someday)
Somehow (somehow)
I'm gonna figure it out
But not (but not)
Right now (right now)
'Cause there's too much goin' wrong
Someday (someday)
Somehow (somehow)
I'll fucking figure it out
But why (but why)
Not now (not now)
'Cause I've got shit goin' on
Help me get out of here

I'll wake up
And I'll disappear
I've had enough
Of living with these fears
I'll stand up
And I'll walk away
I've given up
With coping through the days
Help me get out of here

Someday (Somehow)

[Verse 1]
For ages I stayed frozen,
Locked inside this sleepless stone.
A fading spark, drifting alone —
I swore I’d never drown your flame.
But now I feel you call my name,
This endless gray begins to fall,
Your quiet fire melts it all.

[Pre-Chorus 1]
I feel your ember under my skin,
A hidden fire pulling me in.

[Chorus]
Just like a spark,
You turn my shadows to ashes,
You warm the cold in my veins.
So hold me once more,
I feel my darkness unravel,
Won’t you set me alight in your flame?

[Verse 2]
It’s that fever I can’t outrun,
High like the stars, wild like the sun.
A reckless pull that spins me thin,
It hums so soft, it draws me in.
I’m caught inside this restless ember,
Bound in your spell — I surrender.
Your fire hides deep in my core.
I see it burn in every sign,
We reap the light we choose to find.
I taste your glow across the night.
I know this truth, it carves me clean,
A beast’s wild heart in a dreamer’s scene —
So darling, will you set me free?

[Pre-Chorus 2]
I feel this ember waking inside,
Your heat a promise I can’t hide.

[Chorus]
Just like a spark,
You turn my shadows to ashes,
You warm the cold in my veins.
So hold me once more,
I feel my darkness unravel,
Won’t you set me alight in your flame?

[Bridge]
No one can swear what’s written ahead,
Maybe we’re dust in a fleeting dance.
But when I reach for tomorrow’s thread,
I hear your whisper, feel my chance.

[Extended Chorus]
Just like a spark,
You turn my shadows to ashes,
You warm the cold in my veins.
So hold me once more,
I feel my darkness unravel,
Won’t you set me alight in your flame?
Burn me bright beneath this moon,
Carve my name where night is strewn.

[Outro]
So blaze over me — oh, oh-oh,
Blaze over me — oh-oh-oh,
Blaze over me — oh, oh-oh,
Blaze over me — let it roar.
Blaze over me — oh, oh-oh,
Blaze over me — take me whole,
Blaze over me — let it soar,
Blaze over me — forevermore.

Ember of You

Drums rush like panic, but the melody moves slow and wounded. This is the final step: not redemption, but acceptance. He won’t forget. He won’t forgive. But he chooses to keep breathing.

The Quiet Reset

And The Power Chord Was Born

The Storming
Pages In Clouds 2025

The wind has stilled, the sky won’t breathe,
The light retreats behind the trees.
I see the black tide start to swell—
It whispers like a funeral bell.

No prayer will stop what’s on its way…
So I kneel and let it take my name.

The darkness is coming!
The darkness is coming!
Brace your soul — feel it drum!
Suffer the storming! Bleed til it’s done!
THE DARKNESS IS COMING!
And I won't run!

Clouds like knives and thunder’s grin,
Tearing peace from bone and skin.
I don’t beg, I don’t believe—
I bare my chest and grit my teeth.

Let the winds split open my frame…
Let the rain erase my name…
Let the sky scream straight through me…
I was born for this agony.

The darkness is coming!
The darkness is coming!
Let it crash — let it break!
Let it drown all I fake!
The darkness is coming…
The storming will take…
EVERYTHING.

The sky has opened.
I feel no fear.
I close my eyes…
And let it tear.

Pb2025


A Morbid Mask

The Storming - played on BBC Radio 1  Introducing Rock with Alyx Holcombe

The core message of "Break Before I'm Broken" is a poignant reflection on the self-inflicted suffering caused by anticipatory anxiety and fear of an uncertain future. The song explores the human tendency to torment oneself with imagined scenarios and potential pain that may never materialize, highlighting how worry can become a "poison" that consumes the present. It conveys the struggle of being trapped in a cycle of dread, fighting battles in the mind before they occur, and living "nightmares" that are not yet real. The rap verse intensifies this by depicting the emotional weight of carrying these fears, while the bridge, with its female vocalist, offers a moment of clarity, urging the listener to embrace the present and let go of the need to control or fear the future. Ultimately, the song encourages breaking free from the prison of preemptive suffering, advocating for living fully in the moment and finding peace by releasing the burdens of what has not yet come.

Before It’s Real

Produced by Mark Xenophontos 

Lyrics by Mark Xenophontos 

------------------------

Look in the mirror
Like what you see?
Look in the mirror
Are you really free?

A war for tonight
Two flights to hell
That gutted the city
How the mighty fell

In this sleepless world
Where life runs cold
Where money rules us
Souls bought and sold

Just look in the mirror
Like what you see?
All the pleasures on offer
Are you really free?

You think it's forever
But the day will come
Everything you built
Gone in a blink of sound
Gone in a blink of sound
The souls you traded
The love you sold
Gone in a blink of sound

Beauty buys gifts
It might buy you love
But it can't buy hope
Like the birth of a dove

The apple cursed you
Flame of desire
Heaven watches you burn
In eternal fire

Just look in the mirror
Like what you see?
All the pleasures on offer
Are you really free?

You think it's forever
But the day will come
Everything you built
Gone in a blink of sound
Gone in a blink of sound
The souls you traded
The love you sold
Gone in a blink of sound

They built temples of flesh
Where innocents bleed
We fed our children poison
Called it everything they need
We sold tomorrow for today
Now watch the innocent bleed
Look in the mirror
At the blood on your hands

You thought it was forever
But the day has come
Everything you built
Gone in a blink of sound
Gone in a blink of sound
Gone in a blink of sound

The souls you traded
The love you sold
Your children will curse you
For the choice you made

Look in the mirror
Like what you see?
There's no forgiveness
For what we've become
Gone in a blink of sound
Gone in a blink of sound
Look in the mirror
Like what you see?

Blink of Sound

Left for Nothing

Missed Conversations

[Intro]
They’re crawling in my veins…
Venom in my brain…
Poisoned thoughts…
Self-inflicting pain.

[Verse 1]
Shadows in my skull, creeping like a plague,
Every whisper’s venom, every thought a blade.
I scratch at my skin, trying to feel alive,
But the poison in my head keeps me deprived.
Mirror shows a stranger with hollow eyes,
Buried under memories, drowning in lies.
These thoughts ain’t mine but they wear my name,
They’re burning my soul like acid and flame.

[Pre-Chorus]
Can’t breathe, can’t heal, it’s a war inside,
Every wound I feel, I can’t hide.
It’s a sickness, a storm, a venomous chain,
Poisoned thoughts of self-inflicting pain.

[Chorus]
Poisoned thoughts tearing through my veins!
Screaming in my head, driving me insane!
Cutting like knives, burning like fire,
Feeding the demon of my own desire!
Poisoned thoughts, I’m shackled in chains,
Living, breathing self-inflicting pain!

[Verse 2]
Every night’s a battle with my shadow’s grin,
Every scar I carry’s carved deep within.
They told me “just fight” but they don’t know the cost,
Every ounce of hope feels like it’s lost.
The voices don’t sleep, they whisper and bite,
Dragging me under, out of the light.
But in this hell, a spark remains,
A rebel heart beneath the chains.

[Pre-Chorus]
Can’t breathe, can’t heal, it’s a war inside,
Every wound I feel, I can’t hide.
It’s a sickness, a storm, a venomous chain,
Poisoned thoughts of self-inflicting pain.

[Chorus]
Poisoned thoughts tearing through my veins!
Screaming in my head, driving me insane!
Cutting like knives, burning like fire,
Feeding the demon of my own desire!
Poisoned thoughts, I’m shackled in chains,
Living, breathing self-inflicting pain!

[Bridge]
Venom in my veins!
Fire in my brain!
I claw, I bite, I won’t go tame!
Break the chains!
Bleed the pain!
I’ll fight these thoughts, won’t die in shame!

[Final Chorus]
Poisoned thoughts tearing through my veins!
But I spit out the venom, break these chains!
They won’t own me, won’t steal my flame,
I’ll rise through the chaos, I’ll reclaim my name!
Poisoned thoughts, but I still remain,
Living, fighting self-inflicting pain!

[Outro ]
Venom in my veins…
But I’m still breathing…
Poisoned thoughts…
I won’t stop bleeding — I’ll keep fighting.

Poisoned Thoughts

Winnipeg composer, retired from the farm, still chasing meaning in melody. My work lives where TV cues meet YouTube soundscapes, with a few albums in between. Built in Mixcraft Pro, fuelled by late-night coffee, stubborn curiosity, and a Stoic’s sense of timing. Also writing on politics, history, and philosophy, because sound isn’t my only instrument.

Before It’s Real

Wayne Mathison