this song means a lot to me thank you for listening
ill get better at music i promise
꧁ ꧂

i couldn't find myself
and life is around the corner
i could probably melt
and now that i am older

i see all my friends hated me
lived a lie just for my fantasy
oblivious in all these situations
but i think i can fix them
i think i can fix them

clovers on my face
im flying so i can't even feel them
you’re my everything
but flowers only bloom every season
i cant feel my breathin
feels like my life does have some meaning
my heart feels empty
but i cant fight with my reason
fight with my reason
(x2)

is it all my fault
i just cant evolve
all these cracks in my vault and
i dont understand at all how

im breaking so easily
my mind is confused
my soul has died lethally
but that isnt news
my temples abused
the angels are teasing me
and they all accuse
that what im saying isnt true

clovers
clovers
its not over til i say its over
gotta pressure on
cant give it the shoulder
clovers
clovers
i gotta overcome this boulder
im not getting in the eye of the holder
this worlds getting colder
but im still wrapped in my clovers
wrapped in my clovers

i thought they were my friends
but they told me to my own face that they werent
i thought that I could trust her
but she threw it all away in the dirt
feeling all these emotions
the anguish
the pain
the atonement
all of my fear
and my hatred
are bolded
my body its coded
but i cant let it control me

false promises were made about me
and my hands were scarred from the thorns
placed around me from all my fears
i can see through my eyes
but my eyelids still act as a blockade around my sea of tears
is this the first act or the finale
for my new life to have past all these years
as my old reality is crushed
i try to look to the future as my mind begins to clear

clovers

Did she text back
I pick up my phone
staring at the screen for two minutes
it felt like forever

I know there’s been setbacks
But it is half past eight
man i should be wake
but i can’t complain
no not this time

Well
I guess trying can’t help it but
All the towing and the hauling
still again and again
Maybe i should cull my mind before i’ll get strained

The herald kept me on edge
Been idle for as long as i can remember me
Oh
I’ll roam up this time for how long to me
I’ll hone to a better me
Think it’s just one inhale away

There’s too much rain to say

4/6/2023 - 24/8/2023

Slecht-Weer-Vandaag

Spotify:
https://open.spotify.com/track/7bN5R1Mdo8F6ok8lP0qGIK?si=d2cf7aaef42c49dd

Lyrics:
Sour
Just match the taste
Shower me with praise
Watch it only last an
Hour
No don't match the pace
Nothing's in the way but it seems I need to
[Slow] down let it be ok
That was all i said but now it's everything
It all tastes the same every day
I just wanna feel something

sour

Census Designated but it's just my voice

https://www.pcrf.net/

https://bdsmovement.net/

Stagnant on morbid curiosity

To crystallize the feeling

Aglow, we flash to grey

And watch the soul deviate
 
Lately you’ve been staring at the corpse

Like there’s nothing left to see

Transfixed by the writing on the wall

Apathy is the disease

If you leave it alone, then somebody gets hurt

If you topple a tree, well the crash will get heard

The system's kinetic, the signal dispersed

I tried to hold the whole weight of the world

anti apathy song

mono-core

lyrics:
scared to tell
there'll be great repercussions
on people you care about still

there's a knot in my fitted sheet 
from tossing and turning 
when I'm half asleep

under sanitized light
exhaustion it strikes
cause I can't seem to rest when
"I just work well at night"

so the mattress gets stained
and the pillows turn yellow  
the bug in my brain
is fueled by the bellows

that's trapped in my chest
and rattles and rings 
when I take a breath
I can still hear you sing

and there's nothing, there's no one
that I'd rather do
I give it all up
just to run back to you

(and I knew that you'd be understanding)
(and I knew that you'd be understanding)
(and I knew that you'd be understanding)
(and I knew that you'd be understanding)
(and I knew that you'd be understanding)
(and I knew that you'd be understanding)
(and I knew that you'd be understanding)
(and I knew that you'd be understanding)

Bellows

trust1

Why did we feel so divided, 
I think I caught you lying
Smaller divisions so fine
Leave me devout to crying

You never cared if I was okay,
Unless we were drunk or we smoking
using in me in ways unspoken
What’s left of my loves all spent  
 
I don’t know how to say most of it
I’ve been long time losing my focuses
my whole heart and you have broken in
Too much feeling that I haven’t spoken it

i was thinking of us as special
you were thinking so superficial
you were acting so artificial 
and now it's time to move on

now i'm too cold on my wristo
i will pull with a pistol
refer to me as the mr sandman
too much trauma on my mind to list out
all the moments that i missed out
drama, heartbreak turn me to a bad man

i gave you my all, i gave you my attention
but i was just another one that you might forget
all the colors we provided and we blended
staining all my memories when you leave it red

gotta swim back 
now it's time to move on

swim back (exploding version)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kq-hTgNjCmc

i read a description on soundcloud by that said "all that anyone reallys wants from an artist is things to listen to and experience". after some long talks with my cousin and way too long staying silent; i write this to hold myself accountable. from this moment on, outset is the one focus in my life. depending on where you look at it you could say this moment is twelve years in the making from the moment i began, or two and a half years ago when i disappeared. i learned early on that art ebbs and flows, but i am right now on the cusp of reaching my flow. the universe i'm building with my art is my true purpose, and it will no doubt blow anyone that looks upon it away. i'm done staying silent and i'm done letting my own doubts and preconceptions hold me away. i'm back and i'm better than ever. i'm going all out from now on

outset 2.0
ꧺ🧿

outset 2.0

this wall will shatter
and the cuts will be dug out
disregard my health
cus i’m rotating in seconds
it’s beginning to turn, i’m not ready 

feeling immaterial, feeling immaterial
i’m thinking i should seal the deal but 
forget it
i pick it up where i left off

it is all my fault 
that i couldn’t own up to
through being so careless
cus i’m rotating in settings
it’s beginning to turn, i’m not ready

feeling immaterial, feeling immaterial
i’m thinking i should seal the deal but 
forget it
i get up where i left off

rotating in seconds

I ran home cuz I thought I was fired
And man all these joints are tired
And I said “wait” I was waiting for a serenade
Tell me everything about your damn day
Lay me out front if you threw a grenade
So why?
Do I seem distracted to you?
It’s beautiful to lay awake in my eyes

So watch it all be enough for you to take in
Watch it all be enough for you to let in
I tried to face the great divide
It only tired me out

11.6.23

The Great Divide

outset - resting https://outset.biglink.to/follow

strangers - https://outset.fanlink.to/strangers

outset 2.0

outset

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