03 Fertilizer

• https://www.instagram.com/j.views

• Official Video: https://youtu.be/62VmotZgkEY
• Stream on Spotify: https://spoti.fi/2G41rYN
• Stream on Apple Music: https://apple.co/2ZwpQj5

Spotify

Don't pull away (ft. Rhye)

                              

Probably!

Probably acoustic

(big thanks 2 taylor ochoa for background hummies n harmonys)

I won’t forget
 how your hands fit 
even if you regret it
 I guess we all change with the seasons there don’t have to be a reason 
for the leaves to fall 
or me to call you back 
this time 
i’ll try 
not to cry again but i’m tired 
and i’m worn 
and ive been right here before
(i’ll try, to not cry, but i lied, i felt like shit this whole time)
try to call you up 
but I guess One year was too soon 
and I know you still think about how you fucked me on your front porch 
I’m sorry you never loved me 
I’m sorry this lyrics are so ugly
 I’m sorry I had to leave 
all the times you left me calls 
begging me please 
and how I ruined your life 
and now your mother hates me 
sorry for calling you up 
every time that I can’t breathe 
and for doing all these drugs 
when I promised I’d stay clean,
I really wish I could just go back
 and never go inside that stupid gas station 
I wish I never came over 
I wish we never watched Palo Alto 
and I wish I never loved you
because

it’s January 4 
and you make my heart thump and my hands shake, but how can I be content when You’re in love with someone else? seeing you type makes me feel sick, and it’s been four days and i miss the buzz of my phone shaking my hand like how my lips were the first time we kissed,  and now i only taste you from three shots of vodka.  and you say that drunk words are sober thoughts, but what if you never respond to me? Because anything can kill you especially a girl with a freckled smile and short curly hair, and i may seem fine but if someone asked I’d still studder your name. 
does my absence bother you? or did my presence never impact you the way I thought it did? cause you asked me to wait five minutes, but I stayed up all fucking night, and I hope his bed warmer than mine, but when he breaks your heart I’ll be here fixing my sheets for you. 

and you tore me apart in an attempt to fix yourself, And I really do hope you’re doing okay, and I hope you sleep full nights without the thought of me constantly poisoning your brain, because here’s the thing:
we were so young
 and falling in love always seem like a dumb dream 
but I learned a lot 
and I hope you did too 
because it’s January 4 
and you make my heart thump and my handshake 
but how can I be content when you never were?
 i hope you find better in someone you can find comfort in,
like how i found in you,
it’s january forth and we are fighting,
it’s march forth and im writing this poem,
it’s may forth and i miss you but you seem happy so i’ll leave you alone,
it’s august forth and i dont think about you everyday anymore,
it’s november and i’m okay without you. 

the whispered words at the last couple seconds is this:

(i hope one day you let yourself out of the tomb you call your chest and you learn how to unlock all the locks he built up over time and you learn to love yourself too)

Poem (on spotify/tidal/apple music)

waste - brockhampton

give me your permission
i'll give you all my might
the ridge is getting wider
i'll skip my homework tonight

the follies start at seven
so let's bring all our friends

but don't forget your wallet
but if you do, i'll pay for you instead

all the clocks are ticking
the suns are setting too
today's the standard testing
so give it all you've got, babe

i know you can do it
i know you will do well
i know 'cos i can always tell

shattered, broken skyline
snowfall on our ears
fire burning uphill,
it's time for you to get out of here

but don't forget your spirit
and if you do, i'll give you mine instead
don't forget your spirit
and if you do, i'll give you mine instead

generous friends

Blaine

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Emmanuel Ramirez

Emmanuel Ramirez

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