Vehicle of Spirit

Shudder Before the Beautiful (Live at Wembley, 2015)

libretto:
The requiem has ended.
But I am still here.
The silence… finally sings.

I built this kingdom from decay,
Watched every echo fade away.
Now even ruin bows to me,
The Queen of what can never be.

No voice remains to curse or pray,
Yet silence kneels when I decay.


Wear the crown of silence - let it burn,
All that was lost shall not return.
Through endless quiet, I am found,
A voice unspoken, yet still profound.


The choirs fell, their madness tamed,
The abyss still hums - it knows my name.
Fear has turned to holy dust,
And in the end… I learned to trust.

The throne is gone, but I remain,
A note within eternal rain.


Wear the crown of silence - let it burn,
All that was lost shall not return.
Through endless quiet, I am found,
A voice unspoken, yet still profound.


Choir - my madness.
Abyss - my truth.
Silence - my fear.
And I am all three…


Wear the crown of silence - it fits divine,
Forged from ruin, yours and mine.
In the stillness, I ascend,
The song unending… finds its end.


Crown of Silence

“Tome of Stars” is a 100 sonnet journey, equal parts art, therapy journal, and exorcism, both a celebration and an elegy, a single narrative arc tracing the birth and death of a relationship. All poetry by Stargazer. The verse and accompanying synthetic art and music are public domain, CC0, with no restrictions on use. Nothing is monetized. See below for links on how to access the print, PDF, audio, ePub, video, and music files. 
Website: https://www.tomeofstars.net/

“Anemochory”, from the botanical term for wind-borne seed dispersal, forms the fourth Item of “Tome of Stars” and serves as a metaphor for the poet’s most desolate phase. It consists of fifteen sonnets of emotional scattering, spiritual disorientation, and theological anguish.

“Heaven Failed” questions the coherence of divine justice by meditating on the philosophical and emotional impossibility of a blissful heaven that coexists with an eternal hell. Written from within a prolonged state of personal suffering, the sonnet uses theological imagery to express deep moral confusion and spiritual grief. The poem critiques the doctrine of eternal punishment not only as unjust, but as rendering heaven itself morally tainted. It wrestles with the contradictions between love and damnation, salvation and remembrance, ultimately asking whether eternal bliss is even conceivable for a soul that has known the wounds of a traumatic life. The argument is presented not with abstract detachment but through a deeply personal lens, linking metaphysical speculation to the poet’s emotional alienation from his beloved.

***********
Lyrics

What justice finds its crown in endless pain,  
With hell’s inferno searing souls and skin?  
The stench of anguish, infinite, profane, 
Mars righteousness and gestates cosmic sin.

And if in heaven’s gleam I found a place,  
Yet heard crazed horrors howling in the fire,
What joy could be endured, what peace embraced,  
If bliss were framed by torment’s flaming pyre?

Must Paradise warp love in heartless wombs,  
Build beings blind to agony and cries?  
Such heaven’s less a garden than a tomb,  
A sick, sadistic space, strangled by lies.

And should hell vanish via heaven’s will,  
Would trauma from life’s hell consume us still?

***********

Internet Archive
Book of sonnets:
https://archive.org/details/tome-of-stars/

Music:
Item 1, Anthesis: https://archive.org/details/Anthesis/
Item 2, Senescence: https://archive.org/details/senescence_tomeofstars
Item 3, Sporogenesis: https://archive.org/details/Sporogenesis_TomeOfStars/
Item 4, Anemochory: https://archive.org/details/Anemochory_TomeOfStars
Item 5, Quixotosis: https://archive.org/details/Quixotosis_TomeOfStars
Item 6, Scripture: https://archive.org/details/Scripture_TomeOfStars

Bandcamp:

Item 1, Anthesis: https://stargazer-elentirmo.bandcamp.com/album/anthesis-item-1-of-tome-of-stars
Item 2, Senescence: https://stargazer-elentirmo.bandcamp.com/album/senescence-item-2-of-tome-of-stars
Item 3, Sporogenesis: https://stargazer-elentirmo.bandcamp.com/album/sporogenesis-item-3-of-tome-of-stars
Item 4, Anemochory: https://stargazer-elentirmo.bandcamp.com/album/anemochory-item-4-of-tome-of-stars
Item 5, Quixotosis: https://stargazer-elentirmo.bandcamp.com/album/quixotosis-item-5-of-tome-of-stars
Item 6, Scripture: https://stargazer-elentirmo.bandcamp.com/album/scripture-item-6-of-tome-of-stars

Caged

Within Temptation

Related tracks