Cover of crash by shizukesa and yokai dreams

crash (cover)

you got me obsessed yea you got me feelin upset
i dont want the sex yea just let me in your head
i been feelin depressed im just tryna get ahead
i aint my in my right mind, my heart's been broke in two but I still love you
and of course i want it to work but how can i trust you
yea you left me all alone so i put it in a song
i been on the road now i been doin shows

i been goin through thangs that nobody fuckin knows
runnin up my debts yea im in the fuckin hole
i cant fuckin breathe feels like im in chokehold
lately you been so cold i dont wanna let this go
fuck i changed my mind i just wanna go home
and thats with you 
my hearts with you  

you got me obsessed yea you got me feelin upset
i dont want the sex yea just let me in your head
i been feelin depressed im just tryna get ahead
i aint my in my right mind, my heart's been broke in two but I still love you
and of course i want it to work but how can i trust you
yea you left me all alone so i put it in a song
i been on the road now i been doin shows
i been tryna grow tryna get it on my own
i dont do well when im left on my own

i been on the road yeah 
i be getting dough now
she lays under my blanket when she comes around
i lost a ton of friends when i left my home town
it be in the morning when i come back home now

i just want the sex it's scary being in your head
i get what i deserve i can never be upset
when i see your scars i think of the blood you shed
i'll make sure you become okay

you got me obsessed yea you got me feelin upset
i dont want the sex yea just let me in your head
i been feelin depressed im just tryna get ahead
i aint my in my right mind, my heart's been broke in two but I still love you
and of course i want it to work but how can i trust you
yea you left me all alone so i put it in a song
i been on the road now i been doin shows
i dont want you now why don't you leave me alone

obsessed ft. noxiousnights (irby x pekarot)

ill make it up to you if you give me a chance
i dont know if i'll ever be okay again
these wounds you gave they left scars unseen
and i don't think that i'll ever be okay with this
it's atrocious what you did
my whole heart's been broke from this
fight back i tried but i can't take it
you're an expert when you fake it
even though the love's been gone there's still traces

she dont love me anymore
at least thats what i think
cuz i'm not the same anymore
idk if she's okay with this

you say what i did is atrocious i don't remember a thing
i wonder if one day we can start it all over again

oh girl u know i'd like it if you could give me a chance
but i don't care
i'm good on my own
i need me some time to work on myself

gimme the face
or gimme a hug
i just need a fix i don't really need u
i don't got no feels
i'll jump down the hill
but before i'll see if you can get back with me

J'ressens pas grand chose mais c'est sympa d'être à tes côtés
(I don't feel much but its good being by your side)
Me demande pas c'que j'pense certaines questions seront sautées
(don't ask me what i think, some questions won't get answers)

ill make it up to you if you give me a chance
i dont know if i'll ever be okay again
these wounds you gave they left scars unseen
and i don't think that i'll ever be okay with this
it's atrocious what you did
my whole heart's been broke from this
fight back i tried but i can't take it
you're an expert when you fake it
even though the love's been gone there's still traces

give me a chance ft. noxiousnights (mackk)

cardigan ft KcChalk (irby x jolst)

phases ft. Seejayxo

love rushed

headstart ft. onlygray (caves)

respite

Lyrics:

okay clearly i dont think that we'll be making it thru
you got these thoughts in your mind and you dont clarify
time could expire but i'll still stay by your side
it's evident to me that you dont see what i see

i just tried to bury the hatchet but you dug my grave
embed it in my neck wont see another day
i just wanna be okay but i dont think i can
it's so strange to me how quick you found another man

[bridge]

okay clearly i dont think that we'll be making it thru
you got these thoughts in your mind and you dont clarify
time could expire but i'll still stay by your side
it's evident to me that you dont see what i see

i just tried to bury the hatchet but you dug my grave
embed it in my neck wont see another day
i just wanna be okay but i dont think i can
it's so strange to me how quick you found another ma--

[skrwd]

I see all the shit you say
I heard about him
He seems great
Bet he lays with you all day and knows exactly what to say
Pay attention to the signs
Know his hands don’t fit like mine
Might be gone inside your mind but you’re still alive in mine
I regret how I moved
Sometimes i wanna redo
No matter how hard you try
There’s just no stopping the truth
Might have a girl in the room 
But I still wish she was you
So anytime that you want
You can come thru
I been workin OT
Posted up in OC
Shawty want Chanel 
She can get it, girl you know me
Even after all this time I feel you in the late night

[getbetter]

okay clearly i dont think that we'll be making it thru
you got these thoughts in your mind and you dont clarify
time could expire but i'll still stay by your side
it's evident to me that you dont see what i see

i just tried to bury the hatchet but you dug my grave
embed it in my neck wont see another day
i just wanna be okay but i dont think i can
it's so strange to me how quick you found another man

hold me close for just a single night
time goes by as the stars change overnight
and i dont wanna be on the receiving side
i already gave too much of my life

so dont hold me down
while i try to seek out shelter
cause this life that im living it aint the same as it was
and im tryna find some shelter from the storm i know is comin

bury it ft. skrwd (branwen)

prod. secre swallowtail x heyrick
mixed/mastered by me
quote from spice and wolf <3

Lyrics:

oh, i been feelin lately, the hole you left in my cardiac
i guess you could say it, but i really want the privilege
every conversation we're having always feels frivolous
oh yea you think her tongues sharp, just wait until the knife comes
i really hope he loves you, in the same way that i did
cause i gave half my life in pursuit of what you said
blood been pumpin faster, she a heart attacker
these chains around my ventricles shackle me to the chapel

don't wanna break it down but i got words for you baby
this sonnet i'm singing, oh it don't do it justice
oh, im so full of rage uhh, all i feel is hate now
every syllable from your mouth feels fuckin disgustin
i can't shed now, my tears have burned away
oh my passionate admiration for ya, has only turned to disdain

[bridge]

my heart's been disfigured by the shadow of a sinner
every time you text me oh my sanity runnin thinner
we were meant to be but baby we can never be
cause i see right through you and every lie ya said to me
you thought of yourself as knowledgeable and worldly
but honestly you're as immature as it gets
and with every nerve ending in my body
i wanna be loved in the same way i love another

clearly you dont see me
heart's green with bleeding envy
i see right through you chest untempered glass
even the holy blessed temple won't offer sanctuary to your ass
everything you wrought, was of your own accord
and honestly i think you left cause you were bored
and that might just be fine if i could get you out my mind
striving for that point where i don't love you anymore

cardiac_arrest (secre x heyrick)

hate u ft. sendflowrs (sorrow bringer)

Lyrics:

lights out
i guess im tired
and i been fightin sumthin
im goin silence huntin
i just want a moment, give me a second to hone it
every day that i wake, i gotta sharpen the blade

oh you're takin it back like it was a typo uh
i guess i was never your type then huh
cause you only like em when they love you and then leave but i wasn't that cause i never did mistreat you
you put up your guard, defend
how do we start again
when every conversation we're havin ends in disgust
cause i got insecurities and i know you don't trust
but honestly baby i don't want it to be the end of us

every time that we start to get close you pull away
and i know that i still gotta say it right to your face
but i make time to make sure that i'm around
but you never called, even when i'm not im town
oh i'll stay here even tho i know that it's fake
and i guess that we tried but it's just not aligned to fate
honesty and regret abstained, i think i almost loved you

every body got an opinion, i will just shut down
cause maybe i don't wanna hear you out the picture run mouth
and baby if i'm honest, i think that you should run now
cause ain't it bout that time for us to get close and then bounce out
eyes bled red but i want hazel instead
i'm sorry that i wasn't there when you wished you were dead
axe grind, cut the line, let my neck snap
make sure that it's taut baby won't work if it's slack

overdose license, pure death i siphoned
bro said stick to the tests, don't give a fuck i did the rest
swallowed all dat shit to give my respitory a rest
i was doin shit that'd give a baby hair on chest
and no im not proud, but i escaped from that cloud
shut the fuck up, boy them voices aren't loud
all those numbers on the internet, but you can't pull a crowd
and if we post up on this side then you are not allowed

oh shit i gotta, lie down
im dyin here won't you pipe down
you always said that what goes around comes back
but orbital, that's not how i'd describe my path
cause i just looked ahead and i see distance in my past
and things ain't goin slow your just too used to movin fast
i still got a couple questions i'm afraid to ask
understand i would but right now ima let it pass

a_pattern_of_disaffection_ (prod secre fuck splashgvng)

drawn 2 u (flesh)

prod raspo
mixed/mastered by getbetter

Lyrics:

rend it apart, i guess we'll move on now
i feel psychosis taking root in the scars you left
open hearts bleed courtesy of the knife 
i see my angel's wings shedding feathers in the moonlit night, okay i'm not alright

i want you to hold me tight

cause the life that i breathe through these chapped lips of mine, 
won't ever be cause enough for me to not lie 
oh and god saw you break my heart again
and i swear to him you wont get away with it
oh i was there when nobody else was, and i saw the darkness in those stale bones

oh it's clear to me, that you'll discard our history
throwing up blood as my esophagus wears down
oh the pills they saved me but the pills they hate me
twice i've met the reaper why wont he take me

you were perfect to me in everything that you do
well then i took the medicine, and i know what you did
baby you twisted my words so you could carve upon my skin
and i hate to admit it but on this liquor i depend
your soul i would defend if you were ever in need

inaction forms these complacent thoughts of mine
vertebrae collapse when i try to carry the weight
my love for you predates the day we met

i relapsed i was jus tryna see you
i ruined my life while tryna wait for you
i wish i could torch the feelings and demolish the view

fuck the excuse its always somethin new
i'm so tired i could go comatose
honestly preferable to tying the noose

cause i just wanna slip away
please don't hear this and tell me i'll be okay

tenseiga_ (raspo)

prod secre and prophecy
mixed/mastered by me

Lyrics:

blood drips from my eyes
i still hate our mutual ties
heart beats fast while lines of powder
find their way inside 
i decipher lies
from the look upon your eyes
and i could find my way
but i won’t make on my own
i spill
my heart out on the line
i cry 
more when i can’t decide 
and i wish
that i made up my mind
before i went and 
carved your life from out my time

well you shouldn’t
and for that
i shouldnta stood it
you brought it up
shoulda kept that shit inside
cause how the fuck
you gon wish that i had died 
like i’m not perfect 
but i got an ounce of pride
and i still hold it in my heart
the words you swore were not a lie
but it’s still hard to decipher
i gotta dislodge the knife first 
gotta dislodge the knife first
not really much of a fighter 
and i hold my tongue back
but you jump at the spark of a lighter

_brighter_mood_ (secre x prophecy)

the ghost in my bed ft. cutdeep (secre x heyrick)

dedicated to my grandmother

Lyrics: 

i can feel my chest cave now 
it’s hard to breathe when my body’s layin face down
let me know 
when the decision you’ve been hidin in your mind becomes actionable 
and this feels like my last good night in a while
i’ll grab the brand new spark out the fire 
and i hope the x-rays come back clean
cause i don’t wanna explain what it means

when my cavities won’t open right
while i lay in bed just barely graspin at life 
i want you to make the decision 
cause i don’t think that i couldn’t lie

i can feel my chest cave now 
it’s hard to breathe when my body’s layin face down
let me know 
when the decision you’ve been hidin in your mind becomes actionable 
and this feels like my last good night in a while
i’ll grab the brand new spark out the fire 
and i hope the x-rays come back clean
cause i don’t wanna explain what it means

[ do not fear death
death always at our side
when we show fear 
it jumps at us faster than light
but when we do not show fear
it casts its eye on us gently ]

i don’t feel right
but i’m alright
i don’t wanna make you worry when i know you can’t say a thing 
just keep me company
hold me while i breathe
at least while i still can
cause i know that even when you don’t say it i know that you love me
and i know that i won’t be there for you but i promise that i’m always
right next to you

i can feel my chest cave now 
it’s hard to breathe when my body’s layin face down
let me know 
when the decision you’ve been hidin in your mind becomes actionable 
and this feels like my last good night in a while
i’ll grab the brand new spark out the fire 
and i hope the x-rays come back clean
cause i don’t wanna tell you that it’s only weeks

coughin (raspo)

ghost

light

Mixed/Mastered by me
Prod. Red Eyez

Lyrics: 
oh god, could i survive this on my own for another year?
let me break the silence that you call upon, it's only fear
hold me here in this december wasteland
rip apart the fragments of my memory
salted wounds, you'll never know what you mean to me
overbearing i hope you never thought that of me
sick to death in a second, i hope you realize
overnights at your house, it never felt so nice

uhh feelin the covenant pressure
7am filled wit longing 
inescapable terror
let her fight back, what a frightening
sight it must be to see
oh i'll yearn for the chest feeling we used to hold so deeply
learn to breathe on my own
take this coat from my arm
trade the cuts for complex sedatives
we both suck for sentiment
call for several syllables, i only need three
baby tell me that you need me

oh god, could i survive this on my own for another year?
let me break the silence that you call upon, it's only fear
hold me here in this december wasteland
rip apart the fragments of my memory
salted wounds, you'll never know what you mean to me
overbearing i hope you never thought that of me
sick to death in a second, i hope you realize
overnights at your house, it never felt so nice

oh cut deep, we'll make new scars 
baby what's that tone for 
but every sentence that spills out your mouth makes me feel the resentment a little bit more
cut from the cloth but your more like a feather
every second we're spending apart puts us closer and closer to never
uh and honestly, maybe, been feeling it lately, i wish that i never had met her
you still got my sweater don't you?
lately you been cold like weather, so cruel
let me stay inside, i hope we get some snow soon 

oh god, could i survive this on my own for another year?
let me break the silence that you call upon, it's only fear
hold me here in this december wasteland
rip apart the fragments of my memory
salted wounds, you'll never know what you mean to me
overbearing i hope you never thought that of me
sick to death in a second, i hope you realize
overnights at your house, it never felt so nice

fragments

lakeshore blvd
quiet home and an old white car
couple tire tracks in the front yard
right across from the baseball park

i feel seventeen again 
the night never feels like it ends
i've fallen headfirst and all i can think
how did we get here, and why did it take so long
you are the love of my life
you're the reason i still breathe
and i still hope that this will be more than just likely 
let spring paint our town
i'll do it again, i won't let you down 

you're sick of the city i know
i can tell that you feel alone
i envsion a world where we were younger
i know you know what it's like to be cold
pick a road and we'll drive to the end
we'll make a home wherever we land
theres not much more left for us to go 
so for the night will you hold my hand

you are the light as it cuts through the trees
you are the power to buckle my knees
you are the song that i hear when i sing
you are i in everything

its not a hope but a knowing
of how things will change
that keeps us still going
towards our shared name

i wanna find a life with you
i wanna peacefully die in your view
bear witness to what we have made
show our love in everything 

and you're the moment that i come home
and the scent of a well cooked meal 
you are the dawn when i've only known dark
you are the light in every star 

(and this could only be for you)

oh you're sick of the city i know
i hope you know that you have a home
for forever it feels like i've known you
the best chapter of my life is with you
i will never turn you away
refrain from disgracing your name
it is only us this life
so to you i'll give mine

lakeshore blvd

find me i been lost inside this nightmare
what's one more night with you
i want more life with you
i've shown you patience
you've shown me your graciousness

a young man fights all on his own
his children need a home
its the thought of a life not lived
and what he didn't receive as a kid
(himself)
it's a battle every day
a struggle just to pay the bills
what does your wife have to say
listen to mother too

please god
save us
cause i can't do this on my own
help me
please
before i let my little ones down
i'll fall to my knees i can't breathe this way
im prayin that somebody hears what i say
cause i don't know how much longer i've got in me 

it's the first of the month again
rent's due and the truck's been acting up
she says we'll get through somehow we always have
but they've been cutting back hours
and laying em off
no matter the dead end job though
it's never enough
can't see a way out of this
a few thousand in debt
he thinks this is it
maybe we're better off dead

(weary head, lay it down, get some rest)

please god
save us
cause i can't do this on my own
help me
please
before i let my little ones down
i'll fall to my knees i can't breathe this way
im prayin that somebody hears what i say
cause i don't know how much longer i've got in me

please, god

r u ok
i could tell you still cry on your best days
i could tell you don't real wanna face this
well is it okay
is it okay if i don't real wanna say shit
is it cool if we just sit here in the garden
i know that things are gettin a little more hard and
baby i'll just put a little more love in

well are you sick yet
cause i know i can't really fuckin stand it
this constant distance
i know you would fuckin kill me if you saw this
and it's my fault
i guess i'll just take my fuckin chances

well it's the night time now, how'd i get a girl like you to hold me down
i'm not that great at all
feelings fade away like the leaves in fall 
but girl i love the way how you leave then call
tell me how you love me and you won't leave at all
i need every moment, oh i need it all
nights on the floor, i can't even crawl

r u ok

oh the siren she calls me now
share me your heart love oh say it out loud
im okay spending this night alone
as long as you're back in my bed by the morning
dont you know im not only at home when you're near me
but also when you're far away
call for me i'll be there in moments
you'll trust that i'm never more than just a second away
uhh you're everything i've always said that i need
hold for a minute i'll love you pieces now
things are a little more peaceful now, that you're around
all of my heart, i'll give it up freely
cause you my love are the only one i know that sees me
i am afraid, that i'll never be more than i am at this bare moment
if that's how you call me, i'll love you forever
eternity, that we will know 
oh to the sun that you speak
you're the one i will need
when you finally let me go

home pt.2

27 bones

listen to me

cover of brecken's "sorry company"
it's been stuck in my head for like a month now

stay up lately wait until we grow
changing pages saving where you show
please don't leave me here out in the cold
last i heard you hadn't let me go   

wish i could cover my eyes
spent 5 months wondering why
i let you into my life
and now i gotta redesign
told me we don't have much time
let me look back in your eyes
always had thought you loved me
now i'm just sorry company

wait til i come out from hiding
ill find the brightest star shining
beautiful eyes in any lighting
nothing to find, but tired of fighting

but it made sense when you left me the first time
even on the third time
but that wasn't the worst time 
no that wasn't the worst time

left me on the roadside
never heard from you ever since
wish i never lost my mind
that's really all that i did

sorry company (cover)

*** Unfinished - The Lost Hard Drive Tape ***


This is UTLHDT, a collection of really shitty unfinished songs dating back to April 2023 that I never got the chance to finish.
These songs were recovered in part from private uploads to my soundcloud and I have no way of finishing them.
I didn't want to just throw all of this away, even tho most of it isn't very good at all, so here it is. 

Feel free to not enjoy it at all, they really do suck lol.

This music was a part of my life at one point, and having the ability to release them even in part, is still a bit cathartic.
I was devastated when I lost all of my music. I'm happy to at least have these though.

If you did listen, I appreciate you endlessly. 

- getbetter <3




care (UTLHDT)

rot (UTLHDT)

commit (UTLHDT)

slam the door and run
say your sorry, can't you face the sun
look at me, your swollen eyes can't save you
this is what you reap when your so wrong

ion even feel shits over, shit i spent 38 days not sober
shit i spent 30 damn K on a brand whip just to throw in the dirt rollover
ask me how you feel is it alright
tell me do you cry when stay up and think at night
this is where it goes you never feel it on the road
over every body put priority on my soul
well this is chasin
tell me where you place him
tell me when you need me
i'll be standin weakly 
by your side

i'm a mess, i feel defeatable
you're a mess, i'll never miss you
tell the rest, how did he kiss you
you weren't the best, but god i wish you
(oh god i wish you)

just saw you're miserable, it's for the best
i'm off the plan again, i'm off the meds
don't give a fuck for this, i want the texts
oh this all of it, i want the rest

ion even feel shits over, shit i spent 38 days not sober
shit i spent 30 damn K on a brand whip just to throw in the dirt rollover
ask me how you feel is it alright
tell me do you cry when stay up and think at night
this is where it goes you never feel it on the road
over every body put priority on my soul
well this is chasin
tell me where you place him
tell me when you need me
i'll be standin weakly 
by your side

i'm a mess, i feel defeatable
you're a mess, i'll never miss you
tell the rest, how did he kiss you
you weren't the best, but god i wish you
(oh god i wish you)

38 days (secre)

i feel nothing
everything will turn into something, that's what you said
hollowed out dust where the creatures live
concave heart, we're sensitive
wisdom abound but it's buried in time
how do i push through the withering night
cause there's no such thing as a fearless man

can't you see now as it breaks against the rocks
over dunes over mountains men are lost
guess it's hard to become one with
all the life that we felt then
don't they call us, tell me don't they see it
cause i swear i still hear sirens in the distance
are our angels deaf to cause

is it worth the longer run  
to try to prove that we're not wrong
we are weak so we sow sons
the men they are we hope are better ones
but it's flawed in all conception cause from us it's where they come
never knowing of another way, stem and seed, they are one

this isn't what you'd expect from the human race
weakness you'd never find a man who would predicate
believe the illusion that if you medicate you never have to feel again
well i've known many men who lived like that to the end
and i can't say
i can't say that i live it a different way
cause i spent 90 nights with a bottle in my hand
swear i can't feel right without my hand upon a can
so what's different between me and the man
oh it's priceless
holdin on to something from the past just so i don't feel alone
diggin every grave deeper just to find a home
coffins sound nice when you're one foot in the grave

uh uh oh
uh uh oh
uh uh oh, i don't feel well
uh uh oh, heard it all before, bottle on the floor, build a new shell
uh uh oh, will i ever escape
uh uh oh, when i stood up i fell
uh uh oh, verse the man i'm the same
uh uh oh, it's just the story we tell

getbetter

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