HA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Why the fuck does selenderman have a squeaky voice

Mancha as Ferris Bueller (Audio)
Zander Peers as Nagisa Shiota

Written by: 
Freshy Kanal, Vivian, Zander Peers & Adam

Beat by:
Hollywood Legend

Thumbnail Art by:
Boris

Nagisa Shiota: 
Cancel all your appointments, Ferris, it’s time to take action
Rapping? I’m leaps and bounds ahead of what you’re tracking
Your whole day planned can’t pass my knife’s movements
I’ve taken on my teacher, I can stab a slacker student

Ferris Bueller: 
And that, audience, is how you don’t spit a verse
So why not take a day off rapping? You seem pretty overworked.
Being trapped with the burden of committing teacher slaughter
And also your mother wishing that she would of had a daughter. 
No matter how hard you study, at the end I rule the poll.
This middle school kid’s songs could barely top High School Musical
No self-esteem like Cameron, you’re better off if you go.
If I wanted to fight a weeb Hitman, I’d go and see Ayano.

Nagisa Shiota:
Try to impress me with that verse? I know what you’re like
Faking sick to skip school and faking sick on the mic 
You’re a whiny child, Ferris. Soft like Argyle, Ferris
You’re crashing in this fight like you were removing miles, Ferris
I’m above this sociopath who thinks he’s a big deal
Your monotonous lines bore me, now that’s a Ferris wheel. 
But here’s your next try, maybe don’t act so peaceful.
It wouldn’t be the first time you’re failing at sequels.

Ferris Bueller: 
If you’re here ‘cause of bloodlust, you can eat my car’s dust.
Fighting me’s like suicide, you’ll just fail and combust
I’m famous, my wit and sass makes me loved around the nation.
Pardon my french, but you’re the ass of assassination.

Nagisa Shiota: 
Dude, update your settings on what you offer to tell
Does it ring a bell? You're repeating yourself!

Ferris Bueller: 
Losing to an emoji doesn’t make you seem like a man
But figuring out what your gender is is the hardest exam.

Nagisa Shiota: 
You’re too clean for this battle, pulling lines with a ruler.
I’ll stay waiting for a good verse like:

Buller’s Teacher: 
Bueller?...Bueller?...Bueller?

Ferris Bueller:

The next moon on noon will be your ass I kicked, like I did with all the personnel.
So return to your assassin goons and tell em 3E took the L.



Hint for next battle:
Fruity Freakouts

Ferris Bueller vs. Nagisa Shiota - Rap Battle!

FNaF VR: Help Wanted dropped, so while the oven's hot, Freddy comes to battle! ...again... Pizza Time Pizza and Fazbear Entertainment, two corporations that are definitely only pizza restaurants and nothing else nope nothing.

GamingPlush64 as the pizza man.
https://soundcloud.com/user-938839005 as Freddy Fazbear.

FNAF:
Hey, Bale! Looking pretty horse when fighting ‘gainst a bear
Who’s glitching like a salesman from The Rest, it isn’t fair!
A witless wix site from the dreamtime will be forgotten like Jeremy
Fazbear’s taking over your spotlight like “I’m a celebrity!”

PTP:
Family, community, pizza restaurant. 
Do not buy FNAF if that is what you want.
You’ll get a Chuck E. Cheese leech and a dash of the occult.
Instead join Pizza Club! (We are not a cult)
Papa Johns? A cult. Domino’s? A cult.
Any missing people that you see is not our fault.
If you’re searching for them, maybe go open the vault,
And consult a certain purple gold rabbit wearing adult.

FNAF:
Your lines were just like your pasta; toxic.
While you’re Cawthon up blood, I got this win on lock; springs.
We’re in cinemas (Freddy laugh) What do you have to laugh for?
We’ve been messing with the minds of children ever since FNaF 4!

PTP:
Quick your crying, child, my roasts burn like an incinerator
We’ve done Pizza in VR since your Pizzeria Simulator
With one phone call I can kill, you just spew out exposition
YOU ARE WORTHLESS, but you won’t be if you join in the ascension

FNAF :
Let me mention, your views are trash placed with your series
About Teletubbies and Cookie Crisp conspiracy theories. 
You’re not near me, so fear me! Your interest has Left-y.
This hack has been locked behind bars, so I say Let’s Eat.

Special thanks to Cacogrins for sponsoring my content!
Join the server! We have fun here! discord.gg/cpvmqUp

Pizza Time Pizza vs Fazbear Entertainment. 24 Hour Rap Battles.

BOO! HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

Lyrics: EPIC CRAP BATTLES OF PISSTORY!
SLENDERMAN!
VERSUS!
HARRY POTTER!
BEGIN!

Harry Potter:
Y'know, I could just Avada Kedavra your slender little ass
But first I'ma wait for you to step up to my rapping class
I'm Harry Potter, bitch! The boy who lived! Look me up!
So take your slender man ass and shut the bloody hell up!
I almost banged Hermione, damn, she's fuckin' hot
You think you can get girls? HA! Like, not
I made out with a hot Asian, a ginger girl, and uh, YOUR MOM
Oh! How you gonna deal with that lyrical bomb?

Slenderman:
I can look at your stupid little British face and kill you
I bitch-slapped Zander and some dude, now I'ma thrill you
Cause I'm Slenderman, don't turn around, I'll be there
I'll stress you out so much you'll rip out your fucking hair
Slendy never loses, he just stalks your family!
I'll scare your wizard ass so bad you'll pee!

Chuck Testa:
Noooope. I disagree motherfucker
You're a faceless demon, I look like a badass trucker

Harry Potter:
Who are you? A stupid asshole?

Chuck Testa:
Nooooope. Hey Enderman, do dig up your coal

Slenderman:
I'm Slenderman BITCH! Don't doubt me
I'll scare your taxidermying ass so bad, you'll pee

Chuck Testa:
You already used that line! You must be retarded
*sniffs the air* What's that smell? Eww, Enderman farted

Slenderman & Harry Potter:
IT'S SLENDERMAN DIPSHIT!

Chuck Testa:
I don't give two craps
So go on your first date at Starbucks, drinkin' two mocha frapps

WHO WON?
WHO'S NEXT?
I DECIDE, BITCH!!!!
EPIC CRAP BATTLES OF PISSTORY!

Harry Potter VS Slenderman Ft. Chuck Testa - Epic Crap Battles of Pisstory

Thumbnail by: Jason Carreon

Beat: https://youtu.be/v4xzOp7hdrs
Beat Produced by: Boi-1Da and Jahaan Sweet
Beat Reproduced by: Exxzone
Written by: Jason Carreon and Creep Switch
Mixed by: Boris

Cast:
Saitama: Creep Switch
Captain Underpants: Boris

Lyrics:
(0:38) Saitama:
No need for an introduction, when a complex origin is what your storing
……………..
Oh I'm supposed to do more? I only need one line to be scoring
*sigh* being this good at rapping is…….pretty boring

(0:50) Captain Underpants: 
Traa La Laaaa, all I heard was blah blah blah
From a mopey business man who thinks having fun is a call
I'm the hero for the mosquito, you're the hero that is evil
Well at least thats what I heard from the rather feeble people...
Anyhow, while you whine in your monster invaded waist land
I'm going to end your tomfoolery!...With my waistband

(1:10) Saitama:
*Beat stops*
…….ok…….
*Beat continues*
Your hypnosis was improbable so many plot holes stuck to potty holes
I'm stopping foes from the ocean while your challenge is stopping flows
You're faker than any Deep Sea King that’s toyed with rumours
While your franchise is deep seeking anything else than toilet humour
Cus a serious punch will bypass the biased help you stick to
No other hero in their right mind would associate with you

(1:28) Captain Underpants:
You're a one hundred push-overs if you ask me baldy
If you wanna talk needs at least I ain't rated as flop B's
But when i toss thee to the moon with one measly throw
Your relevance will be filled with holes, guess you made an easy foe.

Saitama vs Captain Underpants

Lyrics/Karaoke/Trivia: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1iUhXHydECtXt2incabrzBqFIfIi-5GpbRYFyk0hGbBA/edit
Alternate audio: https://soundcloud.com/user-938839005/bendy-vs-cuphead-alternate-audio
MetaMachine as Bendy
Alex as Cuphead
Jade as Ink Demon
Written by MetaMachine, GamingPlush64, Kamren, Dani Frias. Bork and Jade
Mixed by Dustin
Thumbnail by Kamren
Beat by Audio Network
Hint for Meta's next battle: "Smashing Duos"
Hint from Gengo's next battle: "Bare Your Fangs"

Bendy vs. Cuphead

Lyrics/Karaoke/Trivia: https://docs.google.com/document/d/19q8owAtPSf-cUfzuQXFx2SGeSTgUZbTGqS1lri6emBU/edit
MetaMachine as Banjo
Freshy Kanal as Kazooie
Elijah as Popo
Azia as Nana
Written by MetaMachine, Dani Frias, B O R K, Rabi, Jade and Gengo the Cannoli King.
Mixed by Dustin
Thumbnail by AaronGPeters
Beat by Kustom
Hint for Meta's next battle: "Nintendo's Alternate All-Stars"
Hint for Gengo's next battle: "Bare Your Fangs"

Banjo and Kazooie vs. Ice Climbers

-CAST-
Vladimyr P, Dani Frias, Raichous, Alex the Beast, GamingPlush64, Michael / Stark Media and underscores as Zalgo
[REDACTED] as Cthulhu

-WRITERS-
[REDACTED], Michael / Stark Media, and [REDACTED]

-PRODUCTION-
Thumbnail by: Vladimyr P. and Michael / Stark Media
Beat By Dansonn
Mixing by Vladimyr P.

-LYRICS-
ANNOUNCER
Welcome, weary traveler, to Ciphers of the Unknown
Today's matchup is: Zalgo
And
Cthulhu
Commence!

Zalgo  (0:31 - 1:17):
Your cult rooms will be filled with gore as HE COMES to leave his mark
On this hentai monster who’s become nothing but joke fuel for South Park
Looking Sad, Satan? I've been waiting a century for you to spit a good rap
What kind of Dark Lord gets squashed by a sword that shoots out kitty cats?!
Read the text, squidward. my plague starts to spread ‘cross the land
That wipes out this gimmick with relevance more dead than the star that’s in my hand
Please! My candle’s light outshines all that you can spit in this
Kelly’s carnage incarnate’s bars leave squids sleeping with the fishes!
You’re no Necronom-icon! Forgotten when ‘zilla hits the stage!
Telling me you got into politics? (Heh) I’d rather vote for Kanye!
Best go back to startling gamers, for ZALGO is 7 times the rapper
This little munchkin’s been tarnished and now we can start the next chapter..

Cthulhu (1:17 - 2:17):
Zalgo claims to be a god, but he’s barely short of the Funnies
But even when this comic’s stripped down, Zalgo’s just a pitiful plaything for kiddies
So fear the Call of Cthulhu, the true Lovecraftian creation
You’re an outdated fad meme, rejected by the SCP Foundation
This Deviant’s Art is tasteless! Creepypasta crap, nothing new  
You have a song? Do you hold hands and prance around with infants too?
And the ear rape? Glitched font? That’s your method of inflicting pain?
Being eyeless won’t help you, just hearing me will make you go insane!
Your lyrics are unspeakable; but when it comes to stories I’m the pinnacle; invincible
But your chance of winning is like your reality status to your creator: fictional
Like you said I have cult followers, what do you have? Children who think you’re scary?
Just check Behind The Wall and see it’s me who’s taking the victory!
Seven goddamn mouths, you’d think at least one would try to win
It’s quite un-4chan-ate, but I’ll still be leaving this flightless Bird Boxed in
(Yelling) I AM THE EMBODIMENT OF CHAOS, BUT IF HE’S INSISTENT ON PERSISTENCE
I’LL CONTROL HIM, ALTERNATE HIS LIFE, AND DELETE HIM FROM EXISTENCE

Zalgo (2:17 - 2:25):
That’s enough from the kraken, thought I told you to shut it
This is boring me, perhaps you’d rather face off with one of my puppets

Zalgo as Garfield (2:25 - 2:40):
(Yawn) What’s this? Looks like Jon tried making calamari
But I’ll kick him off the track like Odie, and this time, I’m not sorry
Z͜͡͡AL͟͡G҉́Ò '͢͞S͟ ̀͡A͝͡R͠R̷̛IV̢̛E҉͞D̡ ͞A̸̶Ń̢D̴̵ ̀I̡T͏͠' ͠҉͡S̶ ͏U̷N̸͏̢W̷̴̡IS͜É ̀T̷̷͞O̧ ̧̀T͟͏͝H͝͏I͞N҉K͟҉ ͟͞T͘͞HA̛T͜͟ Ý̢OU҉̶ ̵̡̛C̷̨͝AN̡͢ ҉̡̕D͘͞E̶FE҉A̧͜T HI͡M͡
C̷͠͏A̢͜ŲS̡͘È H̀͢E͟ '͜҉̨ĹL̵͘ ̀C̵OR̛̕R̵͘Ù́̀P̷T҉ ̡YǪ͠U̶͘R̴̨͢ ̛́M̷ED͏̷̀I҉̡A͞,̸ ̶̧LE͏A̸͞V̛I̛͞͠N̸Ģ̧̡ ͝Y̶O͠͝U͘R ̢̨͞P͠A̸̡T͢H͝E̡T̨Ì͜C̶̵ ͠B̷ǪOK҉̕S͜͝ ̵͡T̵O̵̢R̀N̡ ̵T̕O ͢͝PI̴E̴͏C̀E̕S̡

Zalgo (2:40 - 2:47):
What a Weird Tale that you’ve woven, saying that you’re superior to me
It’s Something Awful really, but now I’ve finally put an end to your series


Cthulhu (2:47 - 3:03):
Putting on a Puppet show to fight your battles for you? It’s honestly such a Loss
So Dream No More, this is the one and only time that our paths will cross
It’s time I return to my realm and leave this simple post archived, dismissed
They say “Zalgo’s coming”, but even after this I’m still waiting for a good diss... (Malevolently Chuckles)

ANNOUNCER
Who Cracked the Case?
Who Should Cypher Next?
Comment Down Below
And prepare yourselves for the next
Ciphers of The Unknown

Zalgo vs Cthulhu | Ciphers of the Unknown

These brother duos prepare themselves for Kombat despite the rivalry between them. Hanzo and Genji Shimada of Overwatch against Kuai Liang, Sub-Zero, and Bi-Han, Noob Saibot. Which of these duos will win this battle? That’s for you to decide.

LYRICS:

Hanzo and Genji:
Hanzo:
I have lost so much already but I will not lose here
Despite my many burdens, I will still persevere
With every death comes honor, with honor, redemption
But with every death you make, gives you permanent imperfection 
Genji:
For Bi-Han, this won’t be his first time a Hanzo left him burned
Swift strikes from my blade is something you both deserve
With the guidance of Zenyatta, I’ve reconciled what I am
But with your cybernetic change, you brought shame upon your clan
Hanzo & Genji:
(Hanzo) Both of you barely outlived the likes of Johnny Cage
(Genji) And this Noob from Ed Boon came back as Quan-Chi’s slave
(Hanzo) Ask Mei, we’ve experienced cold temperatures before
(Genji) If you really want to scare us, it’ll take more than blood and gore

Sub-Zero and Noob Saibot:
Sub-Zero:
If you’re seeking us for Kombat, then you’ve been misunderstood
Hanzo’s bow skills are amateur, you make Kung Jin look good
We never hold back, the cold will make you suffer
At least my brother wasn’t murdered by his other brother
Noob Saibot:
We show no Mercy, so there’s no one here to heal you
We’d disgrace you to your clan but that’s something that you beat us to
I work in the Netherrealm, it’s true, but when I got word of fighting you
I’m willing to join my brother once just to beat two shit Shimada dudes
Sub-Zero and Noob Saibot:
(Sub-Zero) Slow your pace brother, I know this fight seems easy
But it’s not worth the effort but we’ll still receive Flawless Victory
(Noob) Yes, you are correct and they’re not worthy of Friendship
Because even your family clan treats you with rejection

Hanzo and Genji:
(Hanzo) You dare speak the Shimada name
And bring the family shame by using it in vain?
(Genji) If there is one thing we do to those who make such an assumption
(Hanzo) We awaken the dragon to unleash mass destruction
(Genji) You are the reason that Earthrealm seems so unbalanced
(Hanzo) And your rhymes were just as lazy as Noob’s color palette
(Genji) I have made the enhancement ever since my revival
That even Smoke, Cyrax, and Sektor could never rival
(Hanzo) The Lin Kuei will fall when they witness our might
(Genji) And we will make the Brotherhood of Shadow see the light
(Hanzo) Feel the strength of the Shimada from both bow (Genji) and this blade of mine
(Hanzo) RYUU GA WAGA TEKI WO KURAU! (Genji) RYUJIN NO KEN WO KURAE!

Sub-Zero and Noob Saibot:
(Sub-Zero) You call yourself enhanced Genji? You fall under Kabal
(Noob) When your dragons try to consume us, our strength’s too much to stomach it all
(Sub-Zero) You disgrace your father’s legacy (Noob) Made yourself the enemy
(Sub-Zero) And looking at the Hanzo mains (BOTH) Your skills just show inequity
(Sub-Zero) I’m a Grandmaster (Noob) I’m a wraith that topples Reaper
(Sub-Zero) Both of you lack honor which is why you’re never claimed as leader
(Noob) Without the aid of Overwatch, you will not win this day
(Noob) Shao Kahn calls you pathetic (BOTH) While we’re “play of the game”
(Noob) We could grab you by your limbs as we tear you two in half
(Sub-Zero) Or perhaps you would prefer if we pulled your spines out your backs?
(Noob) We look upon your faces and you seem a bit salty
(Sub-Zero) It seems our rhymes were too cold or should we say (FROSTY!)

CAST:
B-Lo as Hanzo Shimada
HyperJacob96 as Genji Shimada
B-Lo as Sub-Zero
Titanium1208 as Noob Saibot

Beat Produced by Bulletz 2 Beatz

Hanzo & Genji Vs Sub-Zero & Noob Saibot - A Rap Battle by B-Lo

Lyrics/Karaoke/Trivia: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1XcpmalQ6a0QqSrsGP9SnPWtE4KqR2mRNYHb7Uyc80JU/edit
Illuminasium as Yuri
Malina Rose as Blake Belladonna
Written by MetaMachine, FxyFynn, Legengo, Kamren and GamingPlush64
Mixed by Freshy Kanal
Thumbnail by Legengo
Beat by Audio Network
Hint for ???: "Why so flammable?"

Blake Belladonna vs. Yuri

Derek Savage:
I’ve heard lies saying you tower over me, which I don’t see
So today I’m going to show our differences, I mean, just look at me:
You’re just an author; I’m an actor, director and a cool guy
Make like a child from a ‘no breathing’ class, just keel over and die
Wouldn’t You Like to Know how your creativity’s gone down the spout?
You were a good presenter, but now your career’s unable to Sprout
I Hate Everything about you, and although I don’t like him, I gotta say
If he reviewed your crappy performances, he’d be giving me praise
This bitch could use some Self-Defense, can’t survive my Second Coming
No wonder the BBC kicked you out, all your work’s dull and boring
You’ve a whole book on sins you’ve committed, your flaws are quite large
I mean, you did want an anti-imperialist Marxist to be in charge

Michael Rosen:
Thought he’d sit there like a lemon, but Derek. What does Derek do?
He spits rhymes showing he’s less of a Cool Guy, more of a Fool
Diss the Milk And Sugar King, and you’ll get more than heat
At least I can go without throwing a fit when people make fun of me
Promoting x-rated work on your own website is far from Christian 
And with all of the illegal stuff you’ve done, you’d fit right in with school prison
Could write an entire poem detailing how Horrible you are
But you’d probably Copyright Strike me before I get the chance
Recycled footage, bad editing, portraying fat people as broke schmucks
Topped off with phoned in performances; to put it bluntly, Your Movies Suck!
No longer taken seriously, even the cameraman’s out shadowing you 
I see you’re looking shaky and sorry, gonna cut out this cameo too?

Cool Cat:
You’re really really mean! Seems some kid still thinks bullying is fun
Everyone should stay away from you like you were a deadly gun

Derek Savage:
You rapped once, so what? That doesn’t make you an emcee
Better call you the toothbrush, cause we’ll break you into pieces

Cool Cat:
Bringing Sweeter Revenge than some muddy twig could ever do (haha!)

Derek Savage:
I’m bad with copyright? You almost took down every YouTube Poop of you!

Cool Cat:
While your new books are flopping, me and my Dad will go to Hollywood

Both:
Now it’s time to ‘close up’ this battle so you can make another Sad Book

Michael Rosen:
(Michael’s Verse, Part 2.)
You and this failed mascot must be having a Crazy Dream
I’d argue Solomon would do better than this infringement on Warner Bros’ property
Once you eat this diss like a sandwich, I shall give you to the ducks!
Might as well make another channel called “iMovie Sucks”
Now your son passed away, and I know the pain of losing a child
But using him as an excuse for stupidity? Now that makes me really wild
Like when you impersonated that law firm, your attempts to win have fallen through
So now I don’t suppose you’ll want to battle me again, will you?

[REDACTED] as Derek Savage
@user-938839005 as Cool Cat
King Mewtwo as Michael Rosen
Beat by Kustom
Written by King Mewtwo and Dani Frias
Mixed by Light
Cover Art by Fightmarker

Michael Rosen vs Derek Savage. King Mewtwo Rap Battles

Mancha as Taako
Hippie Rat as Guy Fieri / Announcer

It’s time to Sizzle It Up on the quest to find the best Diners, Drive-ins, and Dives! Wash your hands! Preheat your ovens! Rev up those fryers! It’s Taako vs Guy Fieri in...The Rap Battle Zone!

Guy Fieri:
The prophecy said you’d be saved, by the man who’s wreathed in flames,
But this is one Fiery Guy who won’t be doing the same!
I’m a burly sirloin, you’re built like a wet noodle
I advocate the working man, you’re more chaotic neutral.
So here's a Plane of Thought you can season with Worst-erch-ire
Alice Through the Frying Pan; you fell into the fire
Can't even make your namesake, stuck with a d6 of health
Never thought I'd see you calling for Genji to heal yourself!
You went to Garfield, done paid for one case of the Mondays
Won an all-you-can eat plate for the whole Jimmy Buffet!
“The garlic really complements the arsenic,” they said.
And then they graded you a Z, or should I...say zed!

Taako:
Taako’s good out here! I think you’ll enjoy the view
Let me work my magic [beat] Abraca-fuck-you!
You’re barbaric and garish! My Guy, what are you wearing?
You look like Smash Mouth went and gone all Super Saiyan!
It’s tragic, your diss’ll miss, I spit accurate Magic Missiles
But when you erratically spit arrhythmatic, you’ll fizzle
Don’t try to chew me out like you’re snacking on slabs of gristle
It’s apparent on your shirt I turned my clapbacks up to “sizzle”
And so now I debase myself, appearing here amid this meme
Who’s loading up on carbohydrates like a Food Pyramid scheme
Drive-ins, Dives, and Diners?! Ha! I hardly know her!
Oh and, Guy, your Donkey Sauce tastes like Go-Gurt.

Guy Fieri:
The true worth of man are the values that they’re driven by.
I made a great tendie tienda, but you’re the true Chicken Guy!
You may think it's swell to get your Taco Loaded in hell
Bro, you sold your own soul out... Animus Taako Bell!
I would spit it like Minute to Win It, hit it and rip into your tunic
But I should limit this minigame skit before you’re squished by an air conditioning unit.
What’s your “Kiss the Cook” apron to the flame decals I’m rocking on?
For a token gay you’d think you’d get your token in the gashapon

Taako:
Fuck yeah, Guy’s Grocery Gay plays loud and proud, hombre! 
You serve me a plate, I’m rolling constitution saves!
While Taako conjures up a lunch like “I wanna munch!” (Squad!)
Even my Grand Relic is the tastiest of the bunch!
I’d say maybe Ren’s the only being that can outdo me,
But we’ll keep that between You, Me, AND DUPREE!!!
You and I got a date with Death -- like your food, we’re heart stopping!
Taako’s Supreme! Call me sour cream, cuz I’m topping!

Harry Potter VS Slenderman Ft. Chuck Testa - Epic Crap Battles of Pisstory

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