i feel like i could sprout a pair of wings 
and fly its so embarrassing 
i cry and laugh at everything
but im too scared to speak

so ill stay quiet wait for you to say
the things that ive been too afraid
to let out of my stupid brain
but u see right thru me

i missed you more words express
it punched a hole into my chest
i still remember when u left
i cried all night till i could sleep

so just imagine my surprise
when we took back all our goodbyes
i pinch my skin and rub my eyes
i cant believe its not dream

scaredy cat

Last song of 2023, Forever grateful for all the support and interactions, Let's keep going,
 Love you all :-)

Produced by @erdo
Featuring @vairrin
Musical Words:

erdo:
I don't know if it's gonna work now
Now
It's been a while, But now it's Going Down
Down.

vairrin:
i just wish that you could Save me
so tired of Being dreary
i just wish that you Could heal me
yeah im still Healing

i know that you didnt really Care about me
(cause i was Never enough)
you just fucking set Me up
(then i called your bluff)
so i had Enough
(then i had enough)
spread my Wings and i take Flight
every Single night
you just waste my Time
(you just Waste my time)
i can feel my body Dissolving
i dont Know why youre Calling
your irises are Falling
please just Give something to believe in
(cause i have no Reason)
to stay alive
Stay alive
please just let me Die
(please just let me die)

Spotify

healing

inspired by https://soundcloud.com/h3artch3rades/god-looked-at-me-and-said

prod me

im tryna be something that im not
and it aint rly working out
can you see where my body drop?
pretty sound when you hear me fall to the ground
yeah
girl this is not allowed
how can i survive the world when youre not around
ill show you how to drown
can you look at my face just one more time

diamonds shining on my neck right now
ive been getting to the check oh wow
ive been feeling like the best around
starting to detest the crowd
i walk around town with the team
i wont sleep till they eat
yeah yeah
i cant see
i cant see what i dream

kill the complex emotions
then youre left with everything you need
i get closer
im free
flying closer
too close to the sun
gun stays in the holster
im free

that i'm not

a year
recorded february 14th 2025

i fall into this open grave i dug for myself
i call out but you dont seem to hear my cries for help
and every step you take feels youre getting more distance
from me
i hate how i give you my all until i break
and you still walk away

but im sorry 
im not strong enough
im not good enough
for anyone to love

i cry and cut this worthless flesh out of me to bleed me dry
this painful truth that nothing that i do will ever help you
nothings right 
why cant i convince you to stay? cause i knew that i changed
i learned im not broken
i dont want to lose the first and only person
that ive ever loved

and in the end
no one came to save me
no one tried to love me
not even myself

i just wanted you
to hold me with your hands
tell me that you're there
no please dont leave again

im sorry

sedative turmoil

cover of a scrapped song off @janeremover 's "Frailty"
reprod by me
based on a fake (i guess) song version uploaded by @etcunreleased

Wolf County, Pinewood Lake

Lyrics:

[Verse 1]
Thought about going outside
Soon I lost my appetite
When should I get lost today?
I’ll let you roll the dice
And I’ve been nothing but nice
You keep your senses heightened
I never lift my finger
The pillows make me cry

[Pre-Chorus]
Said I view the glass half empty
And I listen to your song, it makes me jealous
So I spent all day trying to fix my sound
I treat myself like I’m
I’m nothing
I’m nothing

[Chorus]
And nothing excites you
Tell me what did I do
I deserve a thank you
Are you even alivе?
In a boring white room
Say, “Can we paint it blue”
You play your littlе games
While you live and you die
(Die, die, die, die, while you live and you die)
(Die, die, die, die, while you live and you die)
(Die, die, die, die, while you live and you die)
(Die, die, die, die, while you live and you die)

[Verse 2]
Said I view the glass half empty
And I listen to your song, it makes me jealous
So I spent all day trying to fix my sound
Wondering if I’ll ever get out
Of this town
Of this town

[Pre-Chorus]
Said I view the glass half empty
And I listen to your song, it makes me jealous
So I spent all day trying to fix my sound
Spend the rest of my day trying to feel less down
Now I end up singing stupid shit
I’m losing sleep over some clothes that I can’t even fit

[Chorus]
And nothing excites you
Tell me what did I do
I deserve a thank you
Are you even alive?
In that boring white room
Say, “Can we paint it blue?”
You play your little games
While you live and you die
[Bridge]
Most people wake up by the time that you go to sleep (Die, die, die, die, while you live and you die)
Then you have the nerve to ask, “What’s wrong with me?” (Die, die, die, die, while you live and you die)
Those tools you used to break free (Die, die, die, die, while you live and you die)
Candy won’t be there in your time of need (Die, die, die, die, while you live and you die)

[Chorus]
And nothing excites you
Tell me what did I do
I deserve a thank you
Are you even alive?
In that boring white room
Say, “Can we paint it blue?”
You play your little games
While you live and you die



teenage robot imagined

prod me n @starboyrob

i js need somebody to hold on to
i might have to go soon
baby take my hand and fly with me
sometimes its like i dont even know you
i just need some closure
cuz u got me down on my knees

skippin past the cracks on the pavement
theres blood on the swings
why does everything just feel different to me
can u be my lungs its so hard just to breathe
walk thru the city i feel half asleep

yea thats the mindset
walkin thru the snow we got balenci on our footsteps
#goc on our tees all my bros are p100
i been @breakfalling without him i wouldnt be nothing

im in london with my bro took a photo
why u even hating bitch we do not even know you
yea why they tryna kill my glo bro
with my best friend recording a mv out in poland

@breakfalling
Hoppin out the house, I feel I’m not enough
Sister just hit my line told me to never stop
I what u would wanna be if u just grown up
It’s something I know that U know
I woke up staring at the ceiling thinking that I’m getting older
Take a pill I don’t feel anything I’m forgetting I’m broken
It’s 2 am and I’m tryna make sense of what I have become
It’s 2 am and I forgot when was the last time I was sober
Oh shit, I don’t think that I’ll ever be chosen
Staying at the bleachers cus I’m scared of coming closer
Can’t let anybody know me, I’m scared of closure
Damn I hate my brain I wish I could just fucking blow it

@pikaxd
bitch im coming through
all these bitches looking at me like i wear designer clothes
money in my bare jeans, nobody is robbin tho
i feel like im @injurie they keep on asking me for sauce
always going back and forth like im still playing cat and mouse

and this shit is so funny to me
they keep on crying bout my past and now they runnin to me
and thats just botherin me
im tryna get myself free
and why they all around me
theres so much shit you cant see

poland w/breakfall +pika

said it

i don't want to be this person anymore
i hope its not real
wake me from my sleep
breathe life into me
teach me how to dress
tell me how to speak
i thought i could be anything

it's killing me
it's killing me
it's killing me
it's killing me
it's killing me
it's killing me

it's killing me

i wish i had your eyes and your ears
or something special, your attention to detail
would you be upset if i told you how i feel?
i'd rather you never figure me out
cause you cant take back what you call a gift
and once you speak those feelings are permanent
and once you waste it, the time doesn't come back
so why'd you lie to me like that?

i thought i could be anything
its killing me
its killing me
its killing me
its killing me

good luck poems

@ol3zha

caught a gator out in Tampa
ima put it on my sneaks
going crazy 4 my shawty
uno im a lil freak
40 make him hit the reverse
i got uno in my jeans
and imma do whatever the fuck i want
cuz thts just up 2 me

all my dreams feel so alone
i need to learn astral projection
evry time she hit myY phone
i get so nervous ,, she so sexy
he so broke it got me nauseous
off a molly crystal sweating
FMJs inside my pocket
periscope he get beheaded

he think he can get a feature 4 the F
boy you are tweaking
when i get the bag not coming back
just like the prince of England
wall hacks on a lame
they playing games & think tht i dnt see it
boy we not the same
ain in my lane
but i still let em think it

i feel like a cuck the way i see these lames
b riding dick
bloody guts inside the vehicle
looks like i died in it
if he ain get a kiss from 556
then we may slide again
i knew your music sound familiar
bitch i inspired it

all these bitches playing games
and i ain bout that
he flexing vacas pussy ok
im in South Sac 
quit acting like u on some shit you aint
boy u aint bout that
n they all want the cheese
but never ready for the mouse trap

all my dreams feel so alone
i need to learn astral projection
every time she hit my phone
i get so nervous ,, she so sexy
he so broke it got me nauseous
off a molly crystal sweating
FMJs inside my pocket
periscope he get beheaded

he think he can get a feature for the F
boy you are tweaking
when i get the bag not coming back
just like the prince of England
wall hacks on a lame
they playing games & think tht i dnt see it
boy we not the same
ain in my lane
but i still let em think it

sedative turmoil

moony

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