Two titans of the cards industry deck it out in the series debut of TableTop Rap Battles!

Freeced as Poker
Quizzique as Uno

Written by Quizzique, Alchemyking, Freeced
Mixed and Arranged by GlitchDude
Art by 3ple
Thumbnail by Quiz
Beat prod. by Anywaywell

Poker (0:11)
IT’S POKER NIGHT!
From diamonds to hearts, I’m the poster child
Your fans are like Texas, hold ‘em tight
But for this loner it’s hopeless, I’mma
Blow jokers out like your open mics
Servers must have overheated from Markiplier’s exposures
Now I’m stirring up the flames cause I’m fire with pokers

You couldn’t compare to the stacks that I’m dishin’
Gambling is my mission, my game needs precision for every decision
You’ll need some ambition for this competition
What your fans are missin’ is brains, they envision the colors because it’s
Appealing to the mindless children that flock in your fanbase like pigeons
And flooding the market with SPECIAL EDITIONS

You rode on waves of hype and managed to keep your fame, right
But I’ve got blackjack, while you’re the black sheep of Game Night
You split friendships and families apart more than I cut the deck
Don’t care you lose the heart of the cards, long as you cut a cheque

Uno (0:48)
That whole play was awful, so now I’m jumpin in
Leave a hole punched in you cus you’re out of commission
You say I’m cutting cheques, I’m saying check your cuts
Casinos taking thousands out of players, now they bet the dust

Forget the Jack of Spades, I’m the jack of trades
Your cheatin’ players jacking trades, try my rules and they won’t last a game
You’re past your fame, your only audience is rich kids with depression
I’m the superior game of luck cus I’m dealin in 7s

You’re boring me more than the boardwalks that you’re shoring
Put the chalk up to the scoreboard and you’ll see who’s really scoring
I’d think you were a poker chip the way you’ve been dispensed, dude
Like my +2s, I’d say the odds are stacked against you

Poker (1:24)
Check my legacy, millions of users playing on desktops
You only spawned a couple of losers screaming on Xbox
I’m going coast to coast, you go Uno and Dos
I go big or go home, while your hands only go for broke

My game is so dope, it’s making people draw in Westerns
While all of your draw cards couldn’t even draw investors
I’m one of a kind, you’re crazy eights straight out the bargain bin
But enter the casino gates, you know the house will always win

Uno (1:48)
I got a deuce with my verses, royally flush this gaming turd
Got players’ blood pumping, looks like you hit a Vegas nerve
You’re getting skipped, at such a loss you’ll need to be reimbursed
Now I’m Flippin this battle, let’s send this track in reverse

Chop it up, like drawing a card I’m going off the top
Only bitches play poker, and I ain’t just talking dogs
I shed your insults off like they’re fleas, you’re nothing but a disease
Winning this gamble with ease, cus I’ve got tricks up my sleeves

Once respectable crime, it is such a pity
You’re getting forgotten in time - Atlantis City
Such a snore, you should’ve chosen War to play a waiting game
If you wanna win so bad, all you gotta do is say my name

Poker vs Uno - TableTop Rap Battles #1 (ft. Freeced)

Some of the sound effects used in funny videos. 
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Drumroll Sound Effect

Pritesh