Nights getting longer and days getting shorter
In me’s a monster my lie’s out of order
How you can live alone at my expense
Well you didn’t wanna live with me it all makes sense

I’m sorry saying this but there’s no desire now
For me to continue there’s nothing to cry about
I will not let you shed a tear over me
And I will not be swaying you if you were gonna leave

I guess it wasn’t meant to be after all
I’m pacing round the paint and try to understand it all
There’s so much that I’ll see if I would hold on
You’re pitching me a dream that I’m just not sold on

So what if I miss the parties and weddings
Why get upset about the path I’ve been heading
You couldn’t prevent it all the hurt was unforeseen
But you will not forget it I’m another casualty

Nights getting longer and days getting shorter
In me’s a monster my lie’s out of order
How you can live alone at my expense
Well you didn’t wanna live with me it all makes sense

I’m sorry saying this but there’s no desire now
For me to continue there’s nothing to cry about
I will not let you shed a tear over me
And I will not be swaying you if you were gonna leave

Candles light up the walkway
There’s no such thing as always
Even the brightest flame will burn out too
And even the kindest face will hurt you too

Nights getting longer and days getting shorter
In me’s a monster my lie’s out of order
How you can live alone at my expense
Well you didn’t wanna live with me it all makes sense

I’m sorry saying this but there’s no desire now
For me to continue there’s nothing to cry about
I will not let you shed a tear over me
And I will not be swaying you if you were gonna leave

At My Expense

Prod. YCK

I’m so desperate I could almost taste it
We’re acting reckless and the whole day’s wasted
Your tepid inexperience leads us to nothing serious
But I’ve been out here wanting more I’m not the one you’re falling for

Some way crossed each other’s paths
We have right now but nothing lasts
I’ve got zero expectation
Feel this setting trepidation
Wind me up and let me drop so neatly
I want my fun before I’m gone completely

Somehow found each other’s eyes sights
We have right now until we die
I’ve got no more indication
How am I in this situation
Kill me quickly hands will tremble faster
This disagreement’s a complete disaster

I’m so desperate I could almost taste it
We’re acting reckless and the whole day’s wasted
Your tepid inexperience leads us to nothing serious
But I’ve been out here wanting more I’m not the one you’re falling for

On an island on a cloud
We move as much as we’re allowed
No getting in out or getting out
We keep the things we’re dead without

Misfortune teller say my fate
I’ll count till then and save the date
We’ll oversee ourselves and then
A split will happen in the end

I’m so desperate I could almost taste it
We’re acting reckless and the whole day’s wasted
Your tepid inexperience leads us to nothing serious
But I’ve been out here wanting more I’m not the one you’re falling for

Desperate

Prod. Arvid @funeralmoney

I’ve been seeking but you’re not the most trustworthy
To find my peace and now your woeful words just hurt me
Reset it all arrange your presence
We said it all we both had meant it

I’m still looking but you’re not the most convincing
You say you’ll stop but now you’ve changed you’re not so willing
Amend this note the words synthetic
Your tone you speak is inauthentic

You’re always slipping away
Left to clean this mess you made
These convoluted ways to charm
And surface tension that’s no harm

Never finish what you start
Can’t get content let down your guard
No remedy these bedroom eyes
Are spinning round I’m hypnotized

Chardonnay we’re sipping on and we ain’t so worried
Cause here today we’re living on we ain’t in no hurry
You’re twenty once and not again
So fall in love and dead your friends
When forever’s just a year
Don’t let these feelings interfere

I’ve been seeking but you’re not the most trustworthy
To find my peace and now your woeful words just hurt me
Reset it all arrange your presence
We said it all we both had meant it

I’m still looking but you’re not the most convincing
You say you’ll stop but now you’ve changed you’re not so willing
Amend this note the words synthetic
Your tone you speak is inauthentic

How did it close and how could it be
Fidelity’s fading we’re watchin it flee
Empty-handed that was such a cop out
You’ve kept me stranded and you’ve kept me locked out

I’ve been seeking but you’re not the most trustworthy
To find my peace and now your woeful words just hurt me
Reset it all arrange your presence
We said it all we both had meant it

I’m still looking but you’re not the most convincing
You say you’ll stop but now you’ve changed you’re not so willing
Amend this note the words synthetic
Your tone you speak is inauthentic

Fidelity's Fading

Prod. YCK

Now the passion is gone
And our affection is spent
I had felt it go wrong
But I don’t know where it went

Outta control you see
That our attachment is cut
A couple ex flames will bleed
It’s all in the name of love

I don’t think I understand
How you got here and got no man
This rush in me I feel it coming
Girls like you are no dime a dozen
Just one night let’s have the time of our lives tonight
Kill the lights I promise that I can treat you right

I don’t think you understand
That none of this is ever planned
Let’s run afar don’t stress about it
There’s no other ways around it
Call you mine just for a morning and afternoon
Read the lines and then I’m searching on after you

Now the passion is gone
And our affection is spent
I had felt it go wrong
But I don’t know where it went

Outta control you see
That our attachment is cut
A couple ex flames will bleed
It’s all in the name of love

Hold on for just one second
Let’s take it back and realize that this is a blessing
We’re still the opposite pairing
So grab your things this empty lust is quite the red herring

Now the passion is gone
And our affection is spent
I had felt it go wrong
But I don’t know where it went

Outta control you see
That our attachment is cut
A couple ex flames will bleed
It’s all in the name of love

Where Did It Go?

Prod. Phantom Roses @phantom_roses

Just a couple of friends getting way too drunk
A packed hotel room it seems my heart has shrunk
We’ll see each other I swear it’s hard to separate
We’ve made the most out of this and cherished all these days

Who would’ve known what would bring us together
A handful of memories we’d remember forever
Last night is hazy today we can sleep in
Our fantasies locked up continue our dreaming

What more to ask then to have an extension
The time ain’t enough and I can’t fail to mention
They will accept me till I’m reduced to bones
They’re the ones that are there to make me feel less alone

Just a couple of friends getting way too drunk
A packed hotel room it seems my heart has shrunk
We’ll see each other I swear it’s hard to separate
We’ve made the most out of this and cherished all these days

The sun is setting
We know we aren’t ready
Better if now than never later
Don’t hesitate if you need a favor
That’s just what your friends are for
This priceless hand you can afford

Just a couple of friends getting way too drunk
A packed hotel room it seems my heart has shrunk
We’ll see each other I swear it’s hard to separate
We’ve made the most out of this and cherished all these days

Anagnorisis

Prod. YCK

Oh how the tables come to turn dear
You sought to get away but you find it’s worse here
My insides turning my body’s shaking
I thought you’d be the one but I must be mistaken

Oh how your fears become the truth dear
You tried to hide away but it’s finding you here
Your voice is trailing your plot is failing
I thought you’d be my anchor but this ship is sailing

I’m not an angel let’s not sugar coat it
And I know you ain’t one to trust don’t question my motives
But it’s so hard to love you when the love’s nonexistent
You’re right in front of me but I can’t help feeling distant

Why’d you have to entice me
Your lies all serve to remind me
That what we had before is nothing but a souvenir so
What we had in store it don’t apply to you and me no

Oh how the tables come to turn dear
You sought to get away but you find it’s worse here
My insides turning my body’s shaking
I thought you’d be the one but I must be mistaken

Oh how your fears become the truth dear
You tried to hide away but it’s finding you here
Your voice is trailing your plot is failing
I thought you’d be my anchor but this ship is sailing

Cherry red lipstick you ruined these bed sheets
A match made in hell but I know that she gets me
I’m on a bender I’m a nervous breakdown
And I can’t remember all the pills I take now

Oh how the tables come to turn dear
You sought to get away but you find it’s worse here
My insides turning my body’s shaking
I thought you’d be the one but I must be mistaken

Oh how your fears become the truth dear
You tried to hide away but it’s finding you here
Your voice is trailing your plot is failing
I thought you’d be my anchor but this ship is sailing

So Far in Front of Me

Prod. Rizi

Say some shit that we intend
Message read receiving them
Better now than being friends
But I’ll still love you even then

Doing things that we pretend
Said you wanna leave and left
Better now than keeping stress
And hide away and sleep in bed

I don’t know why but I’m wide awake
When I took a melatonin so I’d slide away
Won’t work out so I’m dying to live
Take a couple more again i’ve got mine to give

Beg your pardon I’ve been starting
Slip into a sleep I won’t be departing
No don’t worry won’t be hurting
I don’t feel a thing I know that for certain

Say some shit that we intend
Message read receiving them
Better now than being friends
But I’ll still love you even then

Doing things that we pretend
Said you wanna leave and left
Better now than keeping stress
And hide away and sleep in bed

I don’t know how but I’m still awake
When I tried another solvent but I feel the pain
Won’t work now so I’m living to die
Made another choice and chosen what I’m killing inside

Oh I’m sorry trying hardly
Fall into a sleep I won’t eat I’m starving
No don’t matter I would rather
Wake up right now with my mirror shattered

Say some shit that we intend
Message read receiving them
Better now than being friends
But I’ll still love you even then

Doing things that we pretend
Said you wanna leave and left
Better now than keeping stress
And hide away and sleep in bed

Spirits

Even Then

blessed with stress, am I’m doing fine,
won’t you say that  your here for me
won’t you say you'll always be mine

thinking you will leave me this time
it’s not that I just don’t trust you
it’s more that I have my own issues to

obsessed with not coping, 
cus I feel like I’m just hoping
that you will message me again
say that we’re all fine in the end

but you won’t, cus I’m drowning on every word that I’ve tried to say
pushing them back and forth, everything is making my brain go insane
shaking on the daily, breaking down everything's just changing
don’t feel much lately anymore because  you have my fucking soul

and I’m  sick of this, constant back and forth between this
emotion that ins my chest, it’s hardening, I feel like I’m just crumbling
but I don’t feel like I have a choice, 
cus I’m justing fading in the background everything around me is making to much noise

I just need to to find some space,  
I just need to change the pace
of everything
cus its moves to fast 

at this point, I don’t ill ever grow up,
I think I’ve passed the point of no return
waking up everything hurts

so ill just stay alone again in my room
cus I don’t feel like I need to leave, I don’t think I should talk to you

23;anxiety

Prod. Rizi

Said you’d save me but you wouldn’t
Tear me down in this push and pulling
You can doubt me and say I couldn’t
End my troubles with just one bullet

Got some things I wanna say
Alibis exonerate
In the midst no other place
Can hold me down under the weight

At the spot you wanna work
Second thoughts it’s not the first
Time you went and made everything
A chore to do and you never learn

Lately I don’t enjoy a thing
Held together by tape and string
Maybe I’m just growing up
But I can’t say I know enough

Came apart but don’t save a piece
When I go you can savor each
Moment spent with no dragging down
I feel I’m drifting and passing out

Said you’d save me but you wouldn’t
Tear me down in this push and pulling
You can doubt me and say I couldn’t
End my troubles with just one bullet

Sound of silence I take my bow
This peace and quiet will teach you how
Unprevented you’ll understand
Just hang me up by a rubber band

Said you’d save me but you wouldn’t
Tear me down in this push and pulling
You can doubt me and say I couldn’t
End my troubles with just one bullet

Bullet

Prod. @vasporo

Don’t wanna talk won’t negotiate
I been cutting off friends I dissociate 
Done it one time I’ll just do it again
I’m not much of an importance I won’t make amends

Put me out like a burnt cigarette
And every time that you speak yeah it’s so indirect
Well you got a point across never much never right
No one ever said that I’m so hard to be liked

Expectations the fear’s so great 
They all watch my moves while they stare and they wait
I don’t care much if I die not liked
I just want a few minutes in the damn spotlight 

I’m sick of these motherfucking pyramid schemes
And the amount that’ll go well you wouldn’t believe
Illegitimate wishes they got no god to consult
Yeah the devil works hard and he’ll be joining your cult

While I watched the world collapse 
I took a seat nothing will last
Gardens grow and die alone
These withered trees and chiseled stone

I once had met a man and everything he had earned 
They took away and every penny gone without a word
Nothing added up but the fact I had learned 
Is bad shit happens everyday that we don’t deserve 

My depression is permanent I was kicked to the curb and it’s 
Such a shame no one cared my belief is affirmative
That my view of a courtesy has no weight or a permanence
All the fucks they give the amount’s indeterminate 

Time is a construct that humans enact
It’s our perceptive attempt to keep the real intact 
But I don’t know the standard rules that they follow and set 
The true meaning of the world ain’t discovered it yet

All the finer fibers line inside of my pockets
I’m not surprised no eyes ripping out of my sockets
I’m on a thin tightrope you can bet that I’ll walk it
Well they don’t care bout me when they’re switching the topic 

While I watched the world collapse 
I took a seat nothing will last
Gardens grow and die alone
These withered trees and chiseled stone

College Burnout

Collapse

Prod. YCK

I have lived my life though I have my regrets
If I lost any sleep well then I’d probably be dead
Something tells me you’re good and you’re not a threat
I’ve been indebted to you since the day that we met

Where do I start yeah where to begin
I’m a ticking time bomb boutta go pull the pin
I could take a pill and pop it putting me into a trance
I’m ash I’m air I’ll be one with the plants 

Suicidal thoughts got my ideation
Everything comes back when I’m slightly faded
Wanna get things out on a timely basis
When it’s said and done well I might be jaded 

Passively wish that my time’s up soon
They all told me thanks for their favorite tunes
Well I’m glad I could make a bit of difference in your lives
Put a smile on my face keeping up a disguise

Fact is I just feel rotten to my heart
My regards I will send no need to alarm
Anybody with a conscience I will be fine
And I promise I got this drawn up a line

I have lived my life though I have my regrets
If I lost any sleep well then I’d probably be dead
Something tells me you’re good and you’re not a threat
I’ve been indebted to you since the day that we met

Where do I go yeah where to allow
Any judgment of me but they can’t tell me how
So I live my life till I wither in the sun
And if things get bad well I got a loaded gun

Ain’t my first choice but it sure won’t be the last
I’ve amassed quite a bit of trauma from the past
Imma end it someday but I don’t know when 
So you might wanna talk to me least till then 

Actively wish that my time’s come near 
Like how could I ruin everything in a year 
Well I’m glad I could be a burden to the one I love
When you’re looking where I’m at you know what I came from

Truth is I don’t think that I’m much help
To the world as is so I tell myself 
If I ever really made it I don’t think I’ll die
Full of joy or at peace or at least satisfied 

Nothing really matters oh I’m such an actor
Where I’ll wind up I admit don’t know the answer
Line my skin with bruises war in me I’m losing
Smother all my views putting them inside my music

I have lived my life though I have my regrets
If I lost any sleep well then I’d probably be dead
Something tells me you’re good and you’re not a threat
I’ve been indebted to you since the day that we met

Nothing really matters oh I’m such an actor
Where I’ll wind up I admit don’t know the answer
Line my skin with bruises war in me I’m losing
Smother all my views putting them inside my music

Since The Day We Met

DESERTBOYS

any inquiries/leasing: yck559@gmail.com

Desperate

YCK

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