Dovid Melech

R’ Levi Yitzchak of Berditchev and Parshat Bereishit on his Yahrzeit

In this week’s shiur, Rav Shlomo Katz continues our journey in "Know Your Children" toward a deeper parent–child bond—נפשו קשורה בנפשו / kesher nafshi—a two-way soul connection modeled by Yaakov and Binyamin. We review the “personalized funnel” of chinuch for each child and revisit the two loves that start every home—ahavah tiv’it (rooted in existence) and ahavah mutenet (shaped by traits)—then ask: how do we grow beyond one-way love into a shared inner bond without slipping into favoritism, enmeshment, or blurred boundaries?

Together we learn:
- Why every child demands a unique funnel from our heart to theirs—and why it begins with knowing ourselves.
- The limits of one-way love (newborn stage and trait-based affection) and the promise of two-sided connection.
- What “kesher nafshi” isn’t: dependency, replacing clear expectations, or making our child responsible for our feelings.
- How to model kibbud av va’em, set invitations (not ultimatums), and keep the family as the first lab for reciprocal relationships.
- Seeing our children inside Nishmat Kelal Yisrael—love that holds the individual and the bigger picture.

Practical takeaways:
- This week, offer one “invitation without expectation” for connection (walk, note, shared task) tailored to that child’s language of love.
- Before correction, ask: Am I speaking from ahavah tiv’it or from my need to feel loved? Adjust tone accordingly.
- Name and protect boundaries that keep closeness healthy (sleep, devices, respectful speech), so kesher can grow safely.

L’ilui nishmat Batya Feiga bat Yisrael, Levi ben Yosef; for refuah sheleimah of Aliza Chana bat Naomi—tachat sha’arei shamayim.

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Aiming Towards a Kesher Nafshi

Rav Shlomo Katz and the chevra of Shirat David learn Reb Usher’s short but piercing letter about the “game” Hashem set into creation: neshamas sent into gufim—so that our way to powers lema’alah min ha’teva (above our nature) actually runs through the body, not around it. We explore free will in real time (not acting on every thought), the danger of turning streaks of self-control into self-worship, and the quiet addiction to feeling like a victim. The avodah is to notice the strength we’re given, trace it back to its Source, and live like a baby held by its mother—safe, nourished, and not compelled by every impulse.

Topics include:
“The game”: souls in bodies—why access to kochos she’me’al hateva is davka through the guf.
Bechira in the moment: thoughts arise constantly; emunah means I don’t have to act on them.
Streaks vs. Source: when discipline becomes ego-service—and how to turn victories into thanksgiving.
The quiet pleasure of sadness: how victimhood removes responsibility—and how to break its spell.
“Like a baby in its mother’s arms”: cultivating felt safety with Hashem to dissolve compulsion.
Reading the paragraph again (and again): training the eye to see that every strength is a gift.
Touching Or HaGanuz—the light of Bereishit—without pretending we’re perfect.
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Accessing Supernatural Powers

In this week’s Hachana L’Shabbos, Rav Shlomo Katz and the chevra of Shirat David enter the niggun of “ה׳ רֹעִי לֹא אֶחְסָר” and ask a very simple, very brave question: am I still wrestling with life, or am I letting the Shepherd lead?

Together we learn that Shalosh Seudos is an עת רצון to be led: to discover what we truly want, to cry for it, and to begin living it now. From the Slonimer and the mefarshim on Tehillim 23, and from the image of ra’aya meheimna (Moshe the “faithful shepherd”), we hear that leaders don’t just inspire. They plant אמונה until following Hashem becomes natural, not forced.

We explore:

Why “Hashem is my Shepherd” is not poetry but a posture: when He’s leading, what am I really lacking?

The animal-market mashal: resisting the pull of the Shepherd bruises us; softening to His guidance brings calm and protection.

Yaakov’s secret—“הָאֱ-לֹקִים הָרֹעֶה אֹתִי… עַד הַיּוֹם הַזֶּה”: a lifetime of hard chapters without losing the Shepherd-consciousness.

What true ביטול looks like (not becoming “gefilte-fish frum,” but awake, dignified surrender).

Practice for this Shabbos: choose one place you’ve been fighting reality. During Shalosh Seudos, whisper: “Ribono Shel Olam, You are my Shepherd here too.” Then let your next small step follow, not drag.

May we merit to feel guided, guarded, and gently gathered, so our bodies stop bracing, our hearts stop bruising, and Shabbos becomes the pasture of trust.

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Has God Become Your Shepherd Yet?

In this week’s shiur, Rav Shlomo Katz asks the heart-level question: Do I Want to Know My Child’s World?

We deepen last week’s kesher nafshi—a two-way soul-bond—by facing a common gap: many parents are pouring from their world into children living in a different one. Without curiosity and reciprocity, the funnel leaks; with it, chinuch can finally land.

Together we learn:
- Why a mutual bond (ke-mayim ha-panim) is the only stable “funnel” for real chinuch.
- How to enter a child’s dor (generation) with humility—see, listen, learn—before you speak.
- The difference between organic kibbud av va’em and guilt-based demands—and how to keep it gentle.
- Why relying on “passive osmosis” (they’ll just pick it up) isn’t a shittah—we need a conscious method.
- Creation’s order as a model: a spousal kesher of mutuality precedes and teaches the parent–child bond.

Practical takeaways:
- Schedule one curiosity block this week (10–15 min): ask about their music, friends, game, class—no fixing, just “teach me your world.”
- Before giving mussar, ask: Do I have a funnel here? If not, build it first (listen, reflect back, then speak briefly).
- Name one gentle boundary that keeps connection safe (tone, timing, devices), and keep it with consistency and warmth.
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L’ilui nishmat Batya Feiga bat Yisrael; Levi ben Yosef; Avraham Mordechai ben Yosef.
For refuah sheleimah Aliza Chana bat Naomi; Shoshana Yona bat Eidel—תחת שערי שמים.
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For more Shuirim and Music from Rav Shlomo Katz, visit: https://ravshlomokatz.com

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Do I Want to Know My Child’s World?

In Parshat Lech Lecha, Avraham Avinu begins the journey that defines what it means to be a Jew, and asks the question that still echoes through every generation: “במה אדע כי אירשנה” — “Hashem, how will I know that this Land is truly ours?”

Rav Shlomo Katz and the chevra of Shirat David explore Reb Shlomo Carlebach’s teachings on the Even Shlomo, uncovering why Eretz Yisrael is the deepest and most complicated question in the world. Through the words of the Aish Kodesh, the Izhbitzer, and Reb Shlomo, we learn that the promise of the Land is not a guarantee — it’s a relationship. A relationship that can only survive when it rises מעל הבחירה — beyond choice.
A connection that demands not just faith in Hashem, but a longing to hear directly from Him.

Takeaways:
– The bond with the land of Israel mirrors the bond with Hashem — it only lasts when it’s beyond choice.
– The hardest questions in faith aren’t a lack of belief; they’re part of how we stay in the conversation.
– Our generation’s holy chutzpah — to want to hear directly from Hashem — is itself a sign of Geulah.
– The question “Why is Eretz Yisrael so complicated?” isn’t a doubt — it’s a calling.
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Lech Lecha 5786: Why is Eretz Yisrael So Complicated?

Rav Shlomo Katz and the women of Shirat David open a tender gate into תפילת נשים: the gift of בינה יתירה—a woman’s inner knowing to separate עיקר (primary) from טפל (secondary). Returning to “לא תירא לביתה משלג כי כל ביתה לבוש שנים,” we hear how “snow” (the Amalek-cold that numbs holy feeling) is disarmed by a woman’s warm feeling for Hashem. With Sarah Imeinu and Rivka Imeinu as living guides, we learn how a mother’s כח הבחנה—her ability to detect what truly matters—clothes an entire home in confidence, prayer, and purpose.

This shiur is an invitation to trust that voice: to aim tefillah at what’s essential, to stop pouring koach into what doesn’t serve, and to let a woman’s daas build a bayit ne’eman from the inside out.

What you’ll hear

- “Lo tira…mi’sheleg” as Amalek’s cooling vs. a woman’s warming fire
- Rav Tzadok & Chazal on בינה יתירה: להבין דבר מתוך דבר in tefillah
- Sarah Imeinu’s clarity (גרש את בן האמה) and why Hashem says “שמע בקולה”
- Rivka Imeinu seeing through appearances: loving Yaakov, reading Esav
- Ikar vs. tafel: blessing your home by investing koach where it counts
- Why women’s tefillah is uniquely targeted—and how it protects “kol beitah”
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A Woman’s Ability to Detect Importance

Rav Shlomo Katz and the chevra of Shirat David enter Mizmor L’David (Tehillim 23) through the eyes of Rav Tzadok HaKohen (ר׳ צדוק הכהן) and discover why David HaMelech shifts from לשון נסתר (speaking about Hashem)—“יַרְבִּיצֵנִי… יְנַהֲלֵנִי… יַנְחֵנִי”—to לשון נוכח (speaking to Hashem)—“כִּי אַתָּה עִמָּדִי.”

The teaching is piercing and tender: most of us turn to אַתָּה (You) only in the גֵּיא צַלְמָוֶת (valley of shadow), but the avodah is to live in אַתָּה even on the green pastures.

We sing the נוסח (melody) for Mizmor L’David that Reb Shlomo Carlebach composed at his mother’s levayah, and we learn how תְּפִלָּה תָּמִיד (constant prayer) keeps us awake to the מְנַהֵג לַבִּירָה (One who runs the “castle,” i.e., the world)—so we don’t need painful wake-ups. From a Chassid who broke his hand yet whispered “בִּנְאוֹת דֶּשֶׁא…”, to the line “עם ה׳—חוצים ים; בלא ה׳—אין עוברים מפתן (with Hashem you cross a sea; without Him you can’t cross a doorstep)”, we practice thanking, pleading, and noticing while the fridge is full and the house is calm.

Takeaways:
Train your heart to say אַתָּה (You) in moments of plenty—set two daily “calm-time” tefillos of gratitude.
Add a quiet Mizmor L’Todah (מִזְמוֹר לְתוֹדָה) before מִמַּעֲמַקִּים—praise before plea.
Place שִׁוִּיתִי ה׳ לְנֶגְדִּי (I have set Hashem before me) on your phone lockscreen; touch it before you touch your day.
When you notice success, speak out loud: “לֹא כֹחִי וְעֹצֶם יָדִי (not my own strength)”—and name one gift that clearly isn’t yours.
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Learning How to Cry Out When Things are Going Smooth

In this week’s shiur, Rav Shlomo Katz invites us to re-examine the core of chinuch: can a parent be both moreh (teacher) and chaver (friend) without blurring roles? We return to last week’s kesher nafshi (soul-bond) and learn why natural love alone isn’t the funnel—mutuality is. Around ages 12–13, many children feel, “You love me, but you don’t understand me.” The work now is to move from “I care about you” (אכפת לי) to “I’m genuinely interested in you” (מעניין אותי)—from giving gifts we think they need to discovering the gift they actually yearn for.

Together we learn:
- Why ahavah tiv’it (natural love) cannot replace a two-way kesher nafshi, and how that bond becomes the only reliable “funnel” for values to land.
- The shift from top-down instructions to du-siach (two-way conversation) that dignifies a growing child.
- “Chinuch al pi darko” as practice: joining your child’s world so Torah can join their story—and stay there.
- The “gift mistake”: giving from our map instead of their needs, and how to do a gentle birur ha-ratzon (clarifying what they want and what we want).
- The Chafetz Chaim at home: the recipe is parent-as-teacher and parent-as-friend—without surrendering boundaries.

Practical takeaways:
- Ten minutes of curiosity: This week, ask about one thing they care about (music, friend, game, class). No fixing; mirror back what you heard.
- Switch the verb: Say out loud, “It’s not only that I care, I’m interested. Teach me.” Then listen twice as long as you speak.
- Name the age-shift: Tell a 12+ child, “I don’t want to love you like a toddler. Help me love you like you are now.”
- Funnel check before mussar: Ask, “Do we have a kesher right now?” If not—build it first, speak short and warm after.
- Friend + Parent, not either/or: Clarify one boundary you’ll keep with consistency and kindness (tone, timing, devices)—so friendship never erases guidance.
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For more Shuirim and Music from Rav Shlomo Katz, visit: https://ravshlomokatz.com

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My Child, My Friend, My Child

Rav Shlomo Katz and the chevra of Shirat David learn a short but searing letter from Reb Usher Freund about what happens when pain starts to crumble. Writing to a woman trapped in an agunah reality, Reb Usher validates the anguish, and then reframes it: pain can be a cleansing wash (רחיצת שמלה) that scrubs away stains; the process still hurts, but accepted with love it stops being torture and begins to reveal Or Shivat HaYamim (the primordial “seven-day light). “Ketz sam la’choshech”— there is an end to darkness, and it arrives faster when we choose patience, prayer, and love over despair and victim-identity.

Topics include:
- “Ketz la’choshech” is real: why every darkness has an end even when you can’t imagine it.
- The wash-metaphor: רחיצה מכאיבה—how cleansing pain works, and how קבלה באהבה changes the experience (not always the facts).
- Validation before mussar: being seen as the gateway to healing influence.
- Pain vs. suffering: pain can be involuntary; suffering is often a choice of stance.
- Birth pangs & geulah: why labor-level pain hints at a light that follows.
- Where בחירה sits: tending to my nefesh and avodah even when others misuse theirs.
- From “worshipping the wound” to Bnei Emunah—trading victimhood for partnership with Hashem.

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 For more Shiurim and Music from Rav Shlomo Katz, visit: https://ravshlomokatz.com

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Dovid Melech

Yeshivat Simchat Shlomo