Get your hands off my penis! All of you! Can you be arrested for simply enjoying a meal? We think, yes. Jeans has t*ts for days and well, buns has d**k for days, ya dig? If you are black and don't have d**k for days would you be a doll and let us know about it? We examine the porn girls voice - could you possible remove that with your implants, please! Tommy trains Tina in identifying who is a suck pig and who isn't, but Tina reveals the secret of what shames and what celebrates giving out the good stuff. Be proud of who you are, pig!

150-Your Mom's House with Christina Pazsitzky and Tom Segura

Sometimes you have to listen closely to hear all the magic that's in the air (air that escapes from our butt). Luckily, we had a microphone to Tommy's butt on the Bertcast and we've got the audio ready for you. Lil Debbie is a wanna be ratchet girl who really talks like a valley girl, but who cares? We keeps it real. Charo tells us another cab driving story only this time it's in Spanish and English and Spanish and Spangrish. Top Dog gets on the horn to discuss the diagnosis that he's a sociopath and Super Maria is FIRED UP about a RUDE lady at, where else, Starbucks. Plus we read from GG Allin's diary. This episode really covers all your basic dietary needs. 

156-Your Mom's House with Christina Pazsitzky and Tom Segura

We speak English and you understand us, but YOU speak English and we don't understand a single word you're saying, Scottish jeans. Did you ever go hoggin' back in your day? Gaping butthole photos? We cover that for you. Sometimes violence in movies and television is hysterical and we kind of disagree on that. Weigh in with your opinion, won't you? Did you know that Webster was a huge pop star in Japan? We have the never award winning audio! His voice is annoying and adorable at the same time! Coca-Cola calls its customers RETARDS and we have the proof (or was it retardED). We give you the FULL Willie Rack Em audio and Tommy hits on a sushi waitress. Remember, there's only 1 Mommy.

158-Your Mom's House with Christina Pazsitzky and Tom Segura

If you don't like the way things are done at your school, do what our South African friend does and bring a whip. Make it a quick class, very quick class! The mommies recap their tour of the South and all the calories that came with it. Cheese and PISSA and wings. So, so, so many wings. We share the Ricky Schroder/Webster story from JRE as we still can't enough of that cute, little, black son of a bitch. Chuck Woolery has a pretty crazy twitter account. We read some of it and then play some of the classics from Love Connection. My goodness do we love that show. Put 2 and 2 in your butt. Plus we play audio of a man who is disappointed in his prostitute. It's horrifying!

160-Your Mom's House with Christina Pazsitzky and Tom Segura

There ain't no half-steppin' or half chargin nothing especially when your baby's daddy is in the house! The Full Charge, Matt Fulchiron is all up in the Dome. We catch up with our old comrade about bad music, loud crazy people on planes, and the wonder of pain that is having 2 or 3 in you. The NEW BIKES! shirt is here and we revisit the classic clip from Scared Straight. Plus the Top Dog call to end all calls??? It may never be topped and he admits to WIPING A CERTAIN WAY we didn't know about! Keep your jeans on and up for this one. 

Matt Fulchiron-162-Your Mom's House with Christina Pazsitzky and Tom Segura

DISCHARGE! Brandt Tobler is back and, as always, filling your ears with tales of crime and debauchery - we love it! PNC Tuesday is goin down. THAT, combined with "There's No Such Thing As Wednesday" is really making us reconsider our favorite day of the week. How do you make someone pay? Tobler shares a secret that will bring you to tears and make you PAY UP. Dental Update? Yup. Rim Jobs? Of course. Brown Talk? You know this, man. BIKES!

Brandt Tobler-163-Your Mom's House with Christina Pazsitzky and Tom Segura

Do you smoke crack? Exactly. Canadian jeans step up and do the dew! We love audio that paints a picture. We have some that straight up blasts your face! If you can squirt, let us know how you do it - for realsies. We rank chocolate candy treats and Tina ranks Almond Joy at the BOTTOM! Do you think she's a communist???? Bunz strongly disagrees. Which country makes the best, most delicious chocolate treats? A serious debate takes place. Does size matter? Yes. For sure. Definitely. Your small penis size is bad luck and not your fault and now there's a movie about that. Tom used to be a doctor. Tina talks about T.O. - yes the former Pro Bowl receiver was on an Oprah-like show. Abusive dads often create great athletes/accomplished men - so maybe not a bad idea to beat your kids? Trashy panties smell good. 

170-Your Mom's House with Christina Pazsitzky and Tom Segura

You know what I'm sayin? We like to say it first! Sometimes you put your peepee in a scary place and you don't die - we celebrate that. We hear from a black man who isn't hung like a black man. If someone has had sex with 100 plus people do you count them out as marriage material? The Mommies don't agree. Oprah doesn't front. She's actually Mad Cool. I wish directors would act more like I wish actors would sing more. STOP PUTTING YOURSELF IN MOVIES. Is Alec Baldwin a homophobe because he said something bad when he was mad? Do simple words mean more than intent and action? Don't be a #$%^*. A break thru BROWN TALK and more!

173-Your Mom's House with Christina Pazsitzky and Tom Segura

I don't remember what we talked about this episode. Hope you enjoy it. 

175-Your Mom's House with Christina Pazsitzky and Tom Segura

Don't worry - she's here! The MAIN MOMMY. Is it Tina or is it Tommy? Hmmmm. Discuss amongst yourselves. Is it true what Webster said, is there truly only ONE mommy??? These questions need answers. The jeans are back from Holiday and Tommy has the cough to prove it! Tina drops science and gas AGAIN. How long will she keep her streak alive? Tommy may incorporate some magic into a new act he's planning on doing in Vegas. Here an exclusive clip here! What in the hell is going on with Chuck Woolery? We dive deeper into his greazy ad copy and also play and ad that Tommy is in with some YMH alumni. Plus past guest Brent Weinbach has our favorite thing on the web ever - Gangsta Party Line. We encourage you to check it out and call the line. The best way to spend the holidays is away from your loved ones and that's REAL. 

176-Your Mom's House with Christina Pazsitzky and Tom Segura

Don't you look at me like that!?! I'm just trying to impose on you and your family because I'm insane! Cats love BBQ sauce. It's true. If you want to win a cat over, feed it BBQ ribs with lots of sauce. The mommies confess shameful acts of the past - can you forgive them? We love when people stop BS'ing with the PC talk and start droppin F-bombs. Please do us a favor and cut the F'in S and just give us the F's and B's and the C's, you know what I'm sayin? Is anything worse than a co-worker? We think back on our office working days. Good lord do we feel for those of you who are still doing that. Drink water. Poop more.

Matt Fulchiron-162-Your Mom's House with Christina Pazsitzky and Tom Segura

yourmomshousepodcast

Recent comments

Michael Parker

Paraiso Ambulante

Related tracks