SPONSORS: - Go to <a href="https://stamps.com">https://stamps.com</a>, click on the microphone at the top of the homepage and type in MOM to get a a 4-week trial PLUS free postage and a digital scale. - Go to <a href= "https://saatva.com/theshit">https://saatva.com/theshit</a> for $200 off your order Go to <a href= "https://JuneShine.com/YMH">https://JuneShine.com/YMH</a> or use code YMH at checkout to receive 20% off PLUS Free Shipping SITE WIDE. - Go to <a href= "https://Squarespace.com/MOM">https://Squarespace.com/MOM</a> for a free trial and when you’re ready to launch, and use the offer code MOM to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain - Head to <a href= "https://policygenius.com">https://policygenius.com</a> to get started right now. When it comes to insurance, it's nice to get it right - Go to <a href="https://WHOOP.com">https://WHOOP.com</a> and use code “Yourmom” at checkout to save yourself 15% off today. - Save 20% on your SimpliSafe security system AND get your first month free when you visit <a href= "https://SimpliSafe.com/yourmom">https://SimpliSafe.com/yourmom</a> HIGH AND TIGHT!! On this week's YMH, Tom Segura and Christina P swap sharting stories, take a look at YMH staffer Chris Larson's most recent Instagram videos, discuss Christina's "Mom Song" that she recorded with Kreayshawn, talk about their most recent live show, and call Top Dog to discuss the problems he's been having with his taint. They watch videos of a cool guy who wants to eat your brown, updates from Unk Shine and The King, an insane chiropractor clip, a vintage mechanical video which drops the r-word, and more. Shane Gillis is a comedian and host of "Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast." He joins the Main Mommies to discuss his new stand-up special "Shane Gillis Live in Austin," how to do a Donald Trump impression, Texas' new abortion law, and getting bullied by college kids at an FSU game. Tom and Christina share some "Horrible or Hilarious" videos, TikToks, and a cool clip of a person explaining bug pronouns with Shane.

623 - Shane Gillis - Your Mom's House with Christina P and Tom Segura

orig: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cqfJnUgvso0


we both got some hard knocks
we might've earned
some folks go to school
others have to learn

that most of life is wishin
trying to get back
to a memory of a memory
you never might've had

my hearts a locomotive
runs on blackened coal
cigarettes and coffee
I could never roll my own

I'm borrowing matches from the padre
hearing church bells toll
wondering what the hell's the difference
between dying and getting old

that can't be right
what year is it this year tonight?
if I die I'll die of fright
that can't be right

that acid flashback really
really cracked my ice
do the right drug once
you'll get to do it twice

now I'm crowing about places
and things I've never been
you know I'm never gonna whore it out
and take that gig again

I believe the light is cracklin 
round the edge of anesthesia 
lying on a table
with the whole world reaching in ya

hope to Jesus Buddha bob
that they washed their hands
there's no class action passage
to break all my shitty bands

that can't be right
what year is it this year tonight
if I die I'll die of fright
that can't be right

when I was younger it confused me
now I think I get it
my old man he don't like pictures
specially if he's inn em

time is not a mirror 
it's some distorted view
of the way you thought you was
and what you thought they thought of you

and all that trash that I tossed out 
it weren't by no means good
but jus cause someone tells ya
don't really mean you should

my friends would try and cheer me up
the best they knew to do
there's no rescuing a diver
with two cinder blocks for shoes

that can't be right
what year is it this year tonight?
if I die I'll die of fright
that can't be right

I'm still agog with mortal dogs
and skills I don't possess 
I'm a practitioner of practice
ima givin it my best

I'm left and I'm still leaving
I got several miles to go
I ain't ready to do somethin
till there's something I'm ready for

there's a pillar in the desert
and it's all alit with flames
it's been burning there for eons
it's the end of all the days

we owe apologies and ass whoopins
it seems to even out
you can't never know you're happy
if you've never lived without

and that's alright
what year is it this year tonight
if I die I'll die of fright
that can't be right

that can't be right
what year is it this year tonight
4 white horses towards the light
that can't be right

That Can't Be Right - Jesse Welles

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She's baaaaaack!!! The Fart Mistress herself, la madre de Tommy, Charo is in the mommy dome, joining Tim and Kristin for some fun clips and a lot of coffee. The trio talk about Charo's star making turn at their recent vacation, Charo's new life living in Austin, the LA wildfires, the happy birthday drive-thru prank, and the feedback they've received from the mommies about Charo's OnlyFans. Speaking of that, Tommy spends most this episode trying to convince her that it's an amazing idea, because duh, it's the best idea. They also check out some TikToks, Charo reacts to some Horrible or Hilarious clips, and Charo gets pretty lit by the end of this thing. There's also an incredible banger of a closing song by the one and only Will Blunderfield to wrap the whole thing up. Enjoy!

Your Mom’s House Ep. 794

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Chapters
00:00:00	-	Intro
00:02:04	-	Charo Is In The House 
00:03:27	-	Opening Clip: Happy Trail Bear
00:06:02	-	Vacation Star 
00:15:57	-	CharOFans
00:26:21	-	Clip: Thumbs Way Up
00:31:20	-	Clip: Piss Nuke
00:32:36	-	Horrible Or Hilarious
00:36:25	-	Ad Break
00:41:12	-	Notting Hill
00:47:05	-	Clip: Will Blunderfield's Stink Portal
00:48:29	-	Clip: Hazing
00:49:34	-	LA Wildfires
00:53:43	-	Clip: Feeling Good Forever 
00:56:14	-	Squirrels
01:00:35	-	Bridge & Facial Enhancements 
01:05:33	-	Clip: Dancing Sloppers 
01:07:32	-	Happy Birthday Drive Thru Prank
01:17:49	-	Extremely Serious 
01:25:31	-	Time To Clean Up The Act
01:31:19	-	TikToks
01:38:10	-	Classic Charo Voice Clips 
01:48:40	-	Closing Song - "I Love Smelling My Farts" by Will Blunderfield
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Tom's Mom Joins OnlyFans | Your Mom's House Ep. 794

Kamusale

Party

Under The Powerlines (April 24 – September 24)

This Is Not My Song (June 23, 2024)

What For? (Instrumentals)

Yeah Right (Instrumental)

Spell It Out (Instrumental)

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Hey Jeans! This week on Your Mom’s House, Tom and Christina kick things off with some good old fashioned white woman cringe. From Fergie massacring the national anthem to Kim Cattrall scatting, we've got a gauntlet of embarrassing singing in public for you to enjoy. Tom then opens the show with a clip of a wild mattress flip, before the Main Mommies get an update from Tony Johns, whose recent stint behind bars has put his Vegas plans on hold.

They then speculate on what King Ass Ripper, the cool guy who got away, has been up to. The two also talk about learning to speak mother tongues, black dudes not being amused by gay stuff, a vision update, buckets of brown, Enny thoughts, plus some horrible or hilarious clips, and a Vietnamese hair salon with a questionable name.  Don't forget to check your b holes for sores!

Your Mom’s House Ep. 809

https://tomsegura.com/tourhttps://christinap.com/https://store.ymhstudios.comhttps://www.reddit.com/r/yourmomshousepodcast



Chapters		

00:00:00	-	Intro

00:02:00	-	Fergie's Greatest Hits 

00:05:56	-	Clip: Kim Cattrall Scatting 

00:08:17	-	Clip: Big Jessica Simpson Energy 

00:09:32	-	Opening Clip: Bed Flip 

00:14:45	-	Tony Johns Is Locked Up

00:22:46	-	Mother Tongue 

00:31:18	-	The Cool Guy Who Got Away 

00:42:38	-	Black Dudes Don't Like The Gay Stuff 

00:45:37	-	Vision Update + Tom's Poo Buckets 

00:54:05	-	Clip: Sores In Ma B Hole

00:54:50	-	A New Challenge 

00:59:07	-	Enny Thoughts 

01:03:46	-	Horrible Or Hilarious 

01:06:54	-	Vietnamese Hair Salon 

01:11:08	-	Dates 

01:12:51	-	Closing Song - "Fart Mic Assassins" by Brothers & Hendawg 
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White Women Are Embarrassing | Your Mom's House Ep. 809

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This week on Your Mom’s House, Tom Segura and Christina P are joined by comedian Jessica Kirson! Before Jessica enters the Mommy Dome, Tom and Christina kick things off with a woman who really doesn't wan you to pull on her tampon string, before they switch gears to a man who doesn't mind being pulled out of, Norm Summerton. The Main Mommies review some photos and videos from the loser pig's fetish site profile and then check out some less specific gay stuff. They also review an incident between Denzel Washington and a photographer, a pup play enthusiast amongst the crowd at Cannes, and a hilarious story about a dumb broad who was scammed by an AI model of Keanu Reeves

Fresh off the release of her latest special on Hulu "I'm The Man", Jessica Kirson steps into the Mommy Dome to get real about trauma and finding the upside in tragic personal conflicts. She also talks to Christina about the stereotype of the female and reacts to the story about the woman scammed by the fake Keanu Reeves. The three also check out some horrible or hilarious clips, some of Christina's legendary TikTok curations, a clip of a really freaky camel, and a fart is captured on camera that has to be heard to believed. Enjoy!

Your Mom’s House Ep. 812

https://tomsegura.com/tourhttps://christinap.com/https://store.ymhstudios.comhttps://www.reddit.com/r/yourmomshousepodcast



Chapters		

00:00:00	-	Intro

00:03:42	-	Opening Clip: Don't Pull My String

00:07:05	-	Norm Summerton Update 

00:17:41	-	Gay Stuff 

00:23:50	-	Scammed By Keanu 

00:28:02	-	Hassling Denzel At Cannes 

00:31:55	-	Clip: Pup Play At Cannes 

00:33:17	-	Jessica Kirson Reacts To Robot Keanu 

00:40:20	-	Comedy Broads 

00:47:57	-	Dealing With Trauma 

00:53:47	-	Clip: Youthful Yoni

00:56:50	-	Please Like Me

01:04:33	-	Horrible Or Hilarious

01:08:59	-	Clip: Freaky Ahh Camel 

01:11:36	-	Clip: IShowSpeed In Pain 

01:13:52	-	A Pish Break & A Fart 

01:18:16	-	Christina's Curations 

01:37:39	-	Wrap Up 

01:39:11	-	Closing Song - "Pigs Balls & Cock" by DJ Tik Tok Tits
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White Women Are Embarrassing | Your Mom's House Ep. 809

yourmomshousepodcast

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