11/23/24 
forever home - not loitering but confusion
prod. forever home

bluesky: forever home @happymonday.fun
tumblr: happywow
ig: forever_home_online

thxx lol 

forever home - not loitering but confusion

burnt vape

That New Rockin' Riley* - *walks back onto stage     *[How 2 Be aARockstar]

3years

Had a jacket hadn't put on in a long time.
Seam stuck out and headed down the wrong line
To a pocket where I knew that I had got mine
Once the sun's eye blotted out the thoughtcrime.

I found a lighter in the depts of the jacket pocket.
A soul delivered in the mask of a plastic object.
Had to bask in the terror of the drastic project
Of forgetting all the brass I saw within your logic.

But I remember this lighter and the cigarette
When you tried to quit.
You're always trying to quit. 
But this final dart, would be the end of it.

Next day I saw you hack a few on Queen Street.
Walked up with my stupid little mean streak.
You looked sheepish and you asked "Do you hate me?"
I laughed a trace and I said "not lately."

I asked you if you want your lighter for your pleasure burden.
You said "it's a gift. you need it bitch. I know you're hurtin"
We stood in silence in the frigid cold death weather.
Then I bummed another dart and we smoked together.

I think that must have been three four years ago,
The time I knew you for a microcosmic miracle.
Echoic seering my mind of the serial
Tapestry scraps scrolling past as your burial.

Saw your body embalmed in a small space.
Saw your mug made up like a doll's face.
It made me nauseous and nostalgic in the wrong ways.
I had to con myself calm into a false grace.

Your parents asked if I thought that you had really suffered.
I said "I didn't know enough about your lovely daughter."
And I don't know if there's an afterlife or kindly God or
Sign that e can point to that - and then I stuttered.

I saw the answer I was giving them was devastating.
So I said 'No," but this answer wasn't placating.
Three seconds felt eons as I kept them waiting.
For reassurance they succeeded in their child-raising.

And in a panic, blurted out that she would always get
A bit erratic but emphatically get over it.
This just made your crying mother more upset.
She said "guess she didn't love us more than she loved death."

Three millisecond trek into something cosmic.
Had a beautiful life, but then I went and lost it.
Memory bank starved for fresh deposits.
Put the old jacket back in the death closet.

Samples:
1. Angels and Demons at Play, Sun Ra, Angels and Demons at Play (1965)
2. The Big Sleep, (1946)
3. That's How I Feel, Sun Ra, Lanquidity (1978)
4. Klankbeeld, Medium local traffic 02 161003_1004.wav, Freesound (2016)
5. Frank Sinatra, It Was a Very Good Year, September of my Years (1965)
6. Hedonfire, River, birds, distant loon, Freesound (2022)

I Don't Hate You

@kacypurist
dedicated to the memory of tonks, and her best friend matt

4tonks! w/ KACYPURIST

The 1

Songs used:
Let Me Play\ Hyperakive
Crazy Jackpot\ Hommarju
Jump Jump Jump!!!\ P*Light
Love Of My Life (Ham Mix)\ Northern Lights
Rave Patroller\ Eagle
Hyperspark\ BlackY
Resonance \ RAM

1.4 Caffeine`Adderall (HappyHardCore Mix)

oceania - black (dawn's quickflip) [extended]

prod kweslk

TAPE DEC 26TH !!!!!

this wont b on it xd

bodyofsins [prod kweslk]

A Cruel Angel's Thesis But In The Mother 3 Soundfont

the self-harmonization broadcast network is online