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Yutaka

Almost Blue

this time it won't fix

https://soundcloud.com/heylog
https://soundcloud.com/imcaves
https://soundcloud.com/irby314

you made me feel nauseous 
i keep getting sick
can't remember where it started 
can't forget all that you did to me
you tasted so bittersweet 
i still see you every time i sleep
i gave you every part of me 
i bet you couldn't tell
i fall in love with narcissists,
don't care about myself
i just go through sedatives
keep fucking up my health 
what's the point of heaven,
i already live in hell

it's not easier 
i'll lie and say it is 
i gave up on getting better 
it's just the way it is
i've been feeling numb ever since i was a kid 
i don't wanna die,
but i don't wanna try and live

i said that i loved you 
(save me)
i gave you the blood from my skin
i tried everything
admit it
it's hard but i did it
you left me too damaged 
this time it won't fix

[heylog]
i'm calling for you 
are you with someone else
the pics on my phone
are nowhere to be found 
would it surprise you 
if i took myself
i might just die here
when no ones around
but i made a choice 
that i regret 
stomp out the house
from what i said
and now it's too late to apologize
fumbled my words,
i guess this is goodbye 

i wish i did better 
thinking all the time 
baby it's whatever
see you in the next life
i'm trying to forget her 
but god it feels impossible
now she's just a number 
floating in my phone
i wish i did better 
thinking all the time 
i don't make any sense
and it makes me wanna cry 
but i look like im stupid
and she say that it's fine 
girl you're pretty funny 
tell another lie

it's not getting easier (w/ heylog) (prod. caves & irby)

featuring @user-411557229
produced by heylog

lyrics:
(heylog)
the veins in my skin pop out when i'm warm
i handle a blade and point to my arm
oh she'd be upset if i put it through
i'll put it away but only for u
well this time u won, you proud of yourself
i put us down, no need to be held
i've suffered too long in my mental state
i'm harming myself, does it look like i'm okay
i said u were right
and i'm sorry just know i'm not bright
or the smartest, keep beating my eyes
till they're blue and to where i can't see
now they're swollen, i'm blind in my view
and now everyday feel like i lose
but i'm trying to cope without u
and it's hard oh baby it's hard
so wish me ur luck and ur regards

it drips from my forearm to my shirt
watching the blood fall is the worst
ignore all of your calls cus i've learned
i made it a full year without her
I LISTEN TO NONSENSE ON A BASIS
IT'S ALL IN MY HEAD AND IT'S MY FAVORITE
I KEPT THEM AROUND FOR ENTERTAINMENT
I CHOOSE TO STAY PRIVATE AND FACELESS
DON'T TEXT ME
DON'T CALL ME
I'VE WITNESS AUTOPSY
DON'T COME HOME
I WON'T BE HERE
I LEFT SO IT'S SINCERE
a lots on my mind
like my future and maybe a wife
and i wonder if music's my prize
it's the only thing going for me
been a week since i've gone outside
i'm pathetic it sums up my life
forgot her and god it's about time
and something that i can't help but think
if ur disappointed in me

(residential)
tell me what you find
deep inside her eyes
cause she used to be kind
until she lost her mind

blade in the basement
i'm high but i'm anxious
snapping back the hat when i am next in the rotation
thought i found myself, but i'm in dissociation
love being alone, but i don't fuck with isolation

quarter ounce
pack it up and take me out
you said i’d be better now
but all i got are pills around

where the fuck you’ve been at
you left your nail marks on my back
now i'm going too fast
but i can't help but think about the past
i just smoked what was left in the bag
and i really don't mind if i crash

spotify

pathetic ft. residential

Almost Blue / yutaka hirasaka

New Album will be released on October 13.

return
eternal moment (ambient guitar version)
branches
breathing
lamp
tobari
lost melody
rang
hydrangea
eau (ambient guitar version)
step forward
key

The album is a reworking of the "element" released in 2019, consisting of songs re-recorded in my current tone as of 2023 and new songs written on the theme of Blue.
I feel that I was able to incorporate some of my pursuit of blue romance and longing for that beautiful sky into the sound of this album.

Vinyl of this album limited to 200 copies will also be available on Qrates.
Pre-orders are now being accepted.
If the number of pre-orders reaches the production cost of 200 copies, will be able to produce the vinyl, so please support this project by placing your pre-orders.
https://qrates.com/projects/29973-almost-blue

Hope you'll love this album :)
Thanks.

DL / Listen

return

eternal moment (ambient guitar version)

branches

breathing

lamp

step forward

overflowed

wherever this goes and whoever it reaches... your scars are beautiful

Verse:
Tell me that you want me
That you could not live without me
Tell me everything about you
Even all your darkest secrets babe

Tell me that you love me
That you're never gonna leave my side
My side (oh that's so bad)

Verse 1-
So tell me that you want me
That you could not live without me
Tell me everything about you
Even all your darkest secrets babe

Tell me that you love me
That you're never gonna leave my side
My side 

Tell me that you want me
That you could not live without me
Tell me everything about you
Even all your darkest secrets babe

Tell me that you love me
That you're never gonna leave my side
My side 

Chorus:
I see your scars
They're beautiful
They make you who 
You truly are
In a dark, dark world you're a shining star
You're perfect just the way that you are

Verse 2-
Tell me that you want me
That you could not live without me
Tell me everything about you
Even all your darkest secrets babe

Tell me that you love me
That you're never gonna leave my side
My side 

Chorus-
I see your scars
They're beautiful
They make you who 
You truly are
In a dark, dark world you're a shining star
You're perfect just the way that you are

Verse 3-
Tell me that you love me
That you're never gonna leave my side
Tell me that you love me
That you're never gonna leave my side
My side

Chorus-
I see your scars
They're beautiful
They make you who 
You truly are
In a dark, dark world you're a shining star
You're perfect just the way that you are
(yeah yeah)

scars (idea)

Writing/Performance/Production: Matt Van

🌧🌧🌧

Stream on Spotify/Apple Music: smarturl.it/MattVan_reasons
Buy on iTunes: apple.co/2znIzl1
Buy Matt Van Merch: bit.ly/mattvan_merch

LYRICS:

This is just another day to 
Feel misplaced
Maybe I’d be better off as 
An unfamiliar face
In the crowd
Don’t draw attention to myself
Not that anyone can tell
When I’m not here

I’ve made a list of reasons
I should stay
It falls a little short but
That’s okay
‘Cause none of this is real
Here anyway
At least that’s what it feels like
These days

This is just another dream to
Slip away
Because of my tendency to
Make mistakes
But I’ll fake another smile
Just to blend
As I secretly pretend that
I’m not here

I’ve made a list of reasons
I should stay
It falls a little short but
That’s okay
‘Cause none of this is real
Here anyway
At least that’s what it feels like
These days

Am I awake or dreaming
I don’t know
But I’m still alive and breathing

I’m searching for a reason
I should stay
Life is pretty short 
I’ll be okay
‘Cause everything is real
Inside my brain
At least that’s what it feels like
These days

© 2019 Sedan Records
www.mattvanmusic.com

. : . : .

reasons.

buy / stream

It Ain't Up To Me

Guitar, Composer, Producer. based in Tokyo.
【contact】
yutaka.hirasaka@gmail.com

step forward

yutaka_hirasaka