Just walking up to the unit gotta take call
I don’t know but today seems kinda off
No bleeding from the butt, no scut
And nurses threw a potluck with donuts 

I got my notes done, but couldn’t log out
Tech support showed up and actually helped a Dogg out

No pages for Colace coming from the flo’
And Ortho took a patient on ECMO!

I caughta nap cause I got me the dope spot
And if I hit the switch, I can make the phone stop

Had to drop by tha’ med rounds
Sniffing in the air and not a single code brown
No c. diff on the gown
And all my patients agree that Dr. Oz is a clown

Rolled down ta ED and I’m askin’ yall
Which fools are y’all tryin’ ta pass along?

But no naked drunks twerkin’, had to check my pager twice just to see if it’s workin’

There was no ODs, no DTs, and everybody rates they pain in the 3’s

EMR went down nurse taking verbals, and no KUB showed a gerbil

Plus all cultures came back pan sensitive to Pen VK, today was a good day

Paged pharmacy with the query
Obscure med, still said it’s formulary

Cause just yesterday JCAHO tried to blast me
Saw the bounceback, but he rolled right past me

Keflexin’, wound clean and dry to a brother’s inspection, margins clear on frozen section

Hit employee health, and though I’m sprayed daily by TB
Still a neg PPD!



Send ‘em out, send em’ out, social work mission
Teaming with the PT and OT on disposition
Of bed 7, and bed 11, bed 27, case manager’s straight on a role
I picked up the cath flow
Hit the team room, cause I’m smellin’ Dominos

Plus that patient talkin’ smack at my nurses just left AMA, today was a good day

Billin’ tryin’ to get paid
Won’t stress the codes cause ICD-10’s delayed

It’s ironic, nobody’s illnesses are chronic
The lasix pee is supersonic

I felt on the big fat foley
Bag full o’ gold pee, urine clear as Stoli

Cause my foley runs deep, so deep, 
RT had to crank the peep

Talked a psych patient off the ledge
Radiology actually gave an answer with no hedge

Even saw the likes of some intern wimps
And they said, “ZDogg can PIMP.”

Chemo’s goin’, but no throwin’ up
Half way home, and my pager ain’t blowin’ up

Today I didn’t even have to use my PA...I gotta say it was a good day.

It Was A Good Call Day

Healthcare's only unfiltered voice. Interviews, medical deep-dives, and uncensored rants on a broad range of health and wellness topics hosted by UCSF/Stanford-trained physician Dr. Zubin Damania (AKA ZDoggMD). https://lnk.bio/zdoggmd