we survive and LIVE in spite of it all, forever and always

PRESENTED BY DOLLHAVEN ETERNAL AUTUMN

written by my love @magpyee:
Your flesh against mine reminds me softly that I am here. Your inviting gaze tells me to hold on, your whole being urges me to continue. My mind tortured me with the desire to fall apart, and the desire to work even harder. My cells shook and crumbled under the agony of existence, but you; you, my love, you are the sunlight on my skin reminding me I am alive. You are the wind in my hair, the grass under my feet. You are my sole reason for not suffering deeply in the dark of the shadows of my own mind. I will crawl, I will kick, I will scream, and I will bleed just to get out of this pit and fall into your arms. Hold me forever and I will be okay.

@childboykil - @zumtru:
To those who have stuck by me and kept me somewhat sane while working on this album, thank you. The fatigue that hit as soon as I finished Lullaby hit me like a truck, but there's still more to go and I'm excited. If you're reading this, I appreciate you.

¬ thanks & commendations ¬
Album cover painted by one of the people I appreciate most, my mother, Amanda Jane Kelly. Without you quite literally this would not be possible, thank you for trying, thank you for fighting tooth and nail to bring me into the world, I hope I make you proud.

And I need to thank my father, I am forever grateful for you, for trying so hard to find a way to bring me to fruition. I know it wasn't easy for either of you and I hope I make you both as proud as I possibly can. You are the best parents I could ask for. 

Thank you to my wonderful sibling who always finds a way to bring me joy, one of the kindest spirits I know. You will go so far and I will do everything I can to assure that your future is bright.

 I am thankful to have made this album under my parents' roof, my success is only possible with their undying and relentless support and generosity and their drive to give me the best life they possibly can.

And of course thank you to all my peers in @dollhavenn , you are all going to go far, I know it. We will create something truly beautiful with doll.network and our Eternal Autumn. Keep creating as passionately as you already are, you are all in DHEA for a reason. 

From mother Éire to the world 🇮🇪🐦‍⬛ 


Seasamh, Duir huath Eabhadh 🍂⛪️

Heart, Soul + Spirit

~~1:1 written a year apart~~

denial & acceptance

[@zumtru, guided by @magpyee]
lyrics:
im just doing what im supposed to do
brother in the back with a bunch of tools
feeling too sick, i cant go to school
feeling too sick like i got the flu
new clip like im supposed to shoot
aim it at your head like i hate you
i been in the back with a bunch of tools
build a new heart, build a love that's true

i just hate what i cannot lose
- "do you love me?"
"i dont know if i do"
try another push, im supposed to shoot
do you blame me if i hate what you do?

im just doing what im supposed to do
build a new bond, that's a link in the loop
try to keep pushing til i cannot lose
will you blame me if it never comes true?
still sick, i've still got the blues

blue blood, there's some red in that bruise
save a space, if you've got the room
load a new clip but I'll never shoot

Push

Produced by me

Intro Sample: DJ Paul & Juicy J Ft. Kingpin Skinny Pimp - Everything Is Business (1993)

Dollhaven 2024, nothing else, nothing less

lyrics:
I'll take a stand for once,
Grit my teeth while I'm holding my tongue.
Feelings out of place,
New clique for another day.
Say I'm special, don't lie to me,
Look me up, there's so many just like me.
I've been trying to make you like me,
But you're looking just like me.

Stand down, hold it down,
Grit my teeth, I'll keep holding my frown.
It's a cold place,
Go away, look at me, I'll look the other way.

Let me down, let you drown,
Hold onto me, there's a hole in the ground.
I'm gonna stay in place,
In the same place.

Take a stand for once,
What am I feeling, I'll just hold my tongue.
Gonna stay in place, new clique for another day.
Say I'm special, don't like me,
You say I'm special, don't like me.
I'll kill them all, kill them all,
Likely, there's so many people,
It's so unlikely.

hold my tongue

[zumtru]
Can't see them, could be anyone
You'll show the truth if they show you love
There, lightning strikes another one
I'm bleeding out, where have you gone?

A bleeding wound, expensive words
If I tell you the truth, would you tell me worse?
Can't reach out, I know it hurts
Can't reach out, it would be much worse

Live how I live
And you'll die how I'll die
I know the act's washed up
My performance is done

And I'll never see the spotlight

[murrumur]
Another stage, another play
Audience will clap until it's fake
But it's just another day
Another song
I'm out of shit to say

You treat me like a castaway
You'd pass me by until I pass away
Which happened yesterday
I shot my shot, it ricocheted

For you I'm made of clay
And every wound is like a scrape
All my wounds are held by tape
Atlas with the world's weight

I'm battered and I'm weathered
All the weather serves to remind me of my place
The cold's my ankle fetters
Snow's a coffin, pillow feathers

My words flew south back in November
Keep my mouth shut, I know it's better
To lose my thoughts and not remember
Severed limbs and checkered patterns

My circuits have been tampered with
Power supply is on the fritz
Massacre my thoughts in color
Fuck it all, I'm missing textures

live how i live w/ murrumur

barely had to wake up
i know that it's hard, love
but i dont wanna go back to bed again

it's getting hard to stay up
listen as you look up, 
you mean so much more to me than them

moving close, a shadow
undisclosed, lock away your soul

the real me could be anything
that's my destiny
and it's hard to believe 
im here right now
of all the lives that i could lead
they could be anything
im so glad this is the one that i have found

Shadow

What you wanna say I don't make you feel okay?
No I can't demonstrate these feelings, go away
We'll never be the same
What you wanna say I don't make you feel okay?
No I can't demonstrate these feelings, go away
We'll never be the same

Behind me, you like me
Bedroom like a crime scene
You're resting beside me
Touch your skin so lightly
I lied, I tried to do anything
This love we had, it meant nothing

Say What

Manic 2001 credits track

glory

https://soundcloud.com/feralcatshelter
https://soundcloud.com/heroinsick
https://soundcloud.com/nothingevenmattered
https://soundcloud.com/nayyar0712

feral cat - debacle(heroinsick + 06brick + nayyar)

Dudes iffy, uh, blicky got the stiffy, uh
Got the blicky, uh, drum, it hold fifty, uh >.<

Kodak Black - Roll in Peace (Pollen Edit)

+
+
+
+
+
+
what brings me pleasure is a crime
her knife is touching my insides

drop the mask

drop it

jesus christ, pierced palms

grab my throat, turn to dust
pin me on that wall
i speak the truth, but just subliminal 
show it. drop the mask.

is this truly who u r?

i‘m a criminal

as of now, from the light, i keep running away
her eyes are like cameras, watching my fate
as she writes down the word on her page it gets carved into my mirrors

i hid out for years, and still i evaporate when the shutters get pulled up
i just turn into dust

puzzling pieces as they keep falling apart

i´ve been down on my knees, oh so long 

awaiting mercies sign
i was praying to the sky

i’ve been down on my knees

is it to late?

i‘ve been down on my knees

is it to late?

put me in handcuffs

is there a chance?
is there a way?
is one life enough to fix my mistake?
is there a chance?
is there a way?

is it to late?

i‘ve been down on my knee, oh so long

pleasure is a crime

Mold/Höst (with3r)

beauty

nothinggindarkk w/ ripquadd @yawe3553 @cclusi

..ar +++@left

Kover ++@pastardiena99//...

algoritmz

18. nov. Par brivu Latviju

open-minded, peaceful, loving
🇮🇪
@dollhaven

seosamh@doll.network

Shadow

zumtru

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