I wrote this a few weekends ago just for fun. My nephew did the second verse.

Lyrics:

Got that fuckin triforce on my hand nigga
Gonna eat Zelda's pussy tonight nigga
Smokin on that Kokiri Kush nigga
Sellin weed to the Gorons breakin laws nigga

Drinkin on that potion, gettin hella faded
Ridin on Epona, now I know I made it
On top of Death Mountain, smokin a blunt with Sheik
I'm so high nigga, can't feel my feet

Call from Princess Zelda wanna get lucky
Good luck bitch, all the hoes wanna fuck me
Got that swag on with my wooden fuckin shield
I'm so high on Promethazine I can't even feel it

I'm on Hyrule Field, playin my ocarina
Then Gerudo Valley, gettin cunnilingus
Gettin empty bottles, stackin rupees bitch
Straight hustlin all the way to Ganondorf bitch

I spent a million rupees on a fuckin tunic bitch
I spent another million on some empty bottles bitch
I got some pegasus boots, runnin like a cheetah bitch
I'm such a G I got all twenty hearts bitch

Lightin torches Ridin horses goin back in time
Ganondord don't even have the best fuckin rhymes
Wearin Fierce Deity's mask gettin hella hoes
Just bombin hella rocks you don't even know

In the Temple of Time, gettin the Master Sword
Smokin hella drinkin hella fuckin hella hoes
Mask of Scents smellin hella fuckin pussy
Got that glided sword, I'm on that weed cookie

Zelda Gangsta Rap

I had a hilarious idea for a Link vs Ganondorf rap battle. Once again, my nephew is featured in this track, playing Ganondorf.

Lyrics:
Ridin on my horse in Hyrule Field, got an ounce of indo in my motherfuckin' shield
I'm so blazed, I can't even see straight, I'm gonna have to stop at the town at this rate
Walikin' up to the Temple of Time, my brain is exploding with some motherfuckin' rhymes
Must be all the motherfuckin' indo, not even thinking about the motherfuckin popo

You know me, Ganon is the name
Got a half pound of that Gerudo dank
Seen two fine bitches walkin' up, just wanna shove my long nose in their butts
Trapped in time by the seven sages, I'm still making more than the highest wages
Rulin' Hyrule like I'm the king, turnin' people into Readeds and wearin' bling bling

Gettin' hella faded on that fuckin' potion, lightin' a blunt, yeah, now we fuckin' goin'
Zelda wants me to rub her back, but instead I'm gonna eat her pussy for a snack yeah
Seven years older and I'm still fuckin' ballin', still wearin' tights and the bitches still crawlin'
Water Temple aint got shit on me, I got all 3 medallions bitch I'm the bees knees

I'm on the top, rulin' Death Mountain
A million rupees and I'm still countin
Got zelda trapped in a diamond
Maybe tonight, I'll break her virgin hymen

Rollin' blunts as fat as it gets
Bitches in Gerudo Valley givin' me head
I'm just a normal dude with ideas, you know?
But what separates me is the money and hoes

Zelda Rap 2

I'm a fuckin goron, gonna get my drink on
got more rhymes than little john an I get more pussy than genghis kahn
smokin on the bombest kush I'm smackin on Zelda's tush
drinkin on that purple drank, always smokin on that good ass dank

eatin all the motherfuckin rocks, ganondorf can suck my cock
sellin coke by the block, gettin all the bitches yeah I'm good at sweet talk
growin marijuana in the back, stackin rupees back to back
zelda lickin on my sack before you know it I'm cummin on her back

blunt after blunt, back to back
gonna get ready to smoke some crack
slammin rhymes on this track
bitches always call me back

dank ass weed on the table
gettin signed to a record label
smoke so much smack I'm unstable
burnin white rocks in my nasal

I'm livin on Death Mountain
blowin shit up powder keggin
I'm a motherfuckin expert at rappin
Link and his rhymes are really lackin

stackin all that gold dust
my motherfuckin rhymes make your brain combust
smokin a blunt, puff puff pass
got some quervo in my shot glass


GORON RAP

Bad State of Mind

Makin’ it haqpen’

(Re-uploaded after fixing a muted instrument issue.)

CAUTION: Mixed for headphones. It might sound bassy at times on studio monitors.

Recreated sounds with a synth keyboard, drum samplers, and isolated bass guitar and vocals. All effects, and final mixing done within the Fl Studio DAW.

Final mix was not normalized. I'd rather listen to this without a loss of the dynamic range before the chorus follows.

Makin’ it haqpen’

𝘓𝘪𝘭' 𝘼𝙪𝙩𝙤 𝙈𝙪𝙩𝙚

Related tracks