https://soundcloud.com/heylog

lyrics:
staring at the random number
but my mind is at a blank
lookin at my computer
so i ask, "who is this"
it was my lover
how could i forget?
ur light im thunder
ill hurt u twice again
staring at the late phone call
whoops did i miss that on purpose?
yeah that was intentional
and all this distortion
girl i never wanted this
for u to go off to college
and honestly i hated it
so id never have a chance

she say that she forget everything we ever had
baby that is horrible
i think she got some problems
so u need to worry bout yourself
and theres no denying that u need a lil help
i already played the part 
so go find someone else
i know that she hates it
how i been so far cropped out in the distance
i need to stay away from u 
no its not an accident
ive focused avoiding u this whole time on purpose
im sorry not really atleast i didnt forget

i tried my best baby but this is never gonna happen
im not the one to show love, shouldve known that was a problem
i picked these flowers for u i know u probably tossed em
now i just be resting from girls n everybody
she dont really love me
she just like to attention
how am i this stupid
omg im gonna lose it
take in all this caffeine
i still have no energy
drinking all this coffee
still got no energy

she say that she forget everything we ever had
baby that is horrible
i think she got some problems
so u need to worry bout yourself
and theres no denying that u need a lil help
i already played the part 
so go find someone else
i know that she hates it
how i been so far cropped out in the distance
i need to stay away from u 
no its not an accident
ive focused avoiding u this whole time on purpose
im sorry not really atleast i didnt forget

at least i didn't forget

heylog - at least i didn't forget

take off the cape you not a hero
through the chest i take an arrow
think that im the one not me
the halls are getting narrow
look in the mirror hate it so much
what i wanted so desperately
i hate it all i wanna disappear and 
never come back i wanna change it all
and make it so i never relapsed
i hate this pressure and this pain
feels like a damn heart attack
say this life is what its worth that 
there's no damn string attached
i feel attached to a puppeteer
life pulled by strings a decision i fear
no point in crying over nonsense
i wont shed a tear i feel just like a project

you say that theres no strings attached
you lied to my face broken by the past (x2)

and i lost my way of life 
where do i go from here
i cant sleep at night

art by moosekleenex on deviantart

strings attached (p. 19hearts)

yesterday (31sentinel x goodbyex2002)

produced by xona 

[???]

-lyrics-
I might act like you but I’ve been knowing my own limits
I can’t help myself when you treat me like I was different
oh my god, I swear I’m falling all apart and it won’t stop
it’s like September and it doesn’t seem to rot-

like you..

I might stab myself or two
don’t walk within these hilly dunes
I’ll fall right here and shoot through you
“stay by side”
I’m not your other guy
this isn’t choice I just know that I’ve been airtight 

I’ve been so upset, ember through my chest
where did all your friends go(?) coalesce
I might need a grip to pull me into this 
drugs are different, they walk into a depth
ay, yeah
caught within my skin 8 leg to my sight 
I’ll tell my truth and leave you hanging so you won’t cry- don’t try
ain’t one, ain’t by your side
so so, out of line? enduring all the fights

~

my life is hurting for a way to pause
I’ll hang around and let it go on
yeah, yeah
I can’t choose on what I’m on
I tend to change and I’m worried that-

talk down oh my oh my-
it’s on me to make it out alive 
more found within my skin
8 eyes, 8 legs
they left off from my head

the coldest winter seemed so innocent, swim through the rivers and reach my instrument
I threw my life on the line for a threat.
I’m so depressed, I’m at fault for this shit
I wanna run but I can’t deny
feelin’ dread to our trust and I cry
and I can’t find a source why oh I, hate my life I don’t need an-

spotify

spiders III

produced by xona, ruevi, & oc

big thank you to all individuals who helped make this song possible <3

@ruevi @prod-oc
@heylog
@hiraethsry
@sleepywater
@sinxi
@caspywaspy
@vilsynth
@valerii
@deadfishh

the lyrics were over 4000 characters and that's the limit for soundcloud ♥

-lyrics-
https://genius.com/Xona-avoid-ii-lyrics

xona

avoid II w/ ruevi, heylog, hiraeth, sleepwater, sinxi, casperrr, vil, valerii & deadfish

prod. @claudesdiary and @assperrr

--------

i took that photograph of us on the couch
said things were perfect, took the words from my mouth
we got too close and then you told me about 
all the guys in your mind, but i'm not one of them
told me come over, cause you miss when he's there
get lost and try to find my way through your stare
i’d give you everything you wanted, i swear 
worth a try? never mind, overstepping again 

slow down time, i wanna cherish it all 
hold the line, cause i still pray for your call 
sit outside, and watch the stars till we fall
fast asleep, do you think maybe there could be a glimpse?
i have dreams of hoping i could be him 
your namesake, walking over me again 
split between someone you love and a friend 
i'd let you know, but i'm worried that you and me would end

i tolerate the internal pain 
cause i love the way that you say my name 
my heart would break if i stopped the chase 
cause you're worth it babe, i can't quit the race 
we'll never change, if you felt the same 
cause i love the way that we'd sit and lay 
forget everything, i can't stop the chase 
cause you're worth it babe, my heart's yours to take 

girl i don't think these feelings'll ever change
but if i gotta i’d suppress it away 
so if you'd let me, i could be something great 
not a guy that'll lie, swear i'm not one of them 
love where we are, but we could be so much more 
i’d make you mine if you'd just open the door
i apologize, baby it's something i can't ignore 
over time, hope it's fine, and we'll keep being friends

slow down time, i wanna cherish it all 
hold the line, cause i still pray for your call 
sit outside, and watch the stars till we fall
i’d say it all but i'm worried that things wouldn't make sense

i tolerate the internal pain 
cause i love the way that you say my name 
my heart would break if i stopped the chase 
cause you're worth it babe, i can't quit the race 
we'll never change, if you felt the same 
cause i love the way that we'd sit and lay 
forget everything, i can't stop the chase 
cause you're worth it babe, my hearts your's to take

chase

chase (prod. claude & asperr)

https://soundcloud.com/heybelak
https://www.youtube.com/@prod.L1GHT

Obsessive w/ Belak

produced by me (dawsin)
guitars by (michael warren)

I hope to take you on a trip with my pain ;l

lyrics ♡:
oh my god- 
im not enough
please-
leave me alone
save me
"dawsin"-
JUST A BLUFF
i cant do this anymore man-
god it hurts
"dawsin"-
ROUGH
ITS KILLING ME- 
"dawsin"- 
FROM THE INSIDE
YOU DONT GIVE A FUCK
"dawsin"-

oh no i know shes a narcissist
I know now that she cannot resist
me and my peakest form
its the calm 'fore the biggest storm

i would write a love letter but its not enough
cause I would know cause everytime she talks its just a bluff 
so dont compare our lives like you always had it rough
but when i tell you that you just say you dont give a fuck

I woke up and im ready tea-r-r shit down
your the only one that i want around
and no i am never seen
what do you want that's best for me?

I THOUGHT YOU WERE MY BRO BUT YOU NEVER EVEN SHOWED UP
NEVER THOUGHT YOU COULD BE A PRICK THATS ALSO STUCK UP
I THINK YOUR RIGHT WHEN YOU SAID THAT YOU WERE A FUCK UP
ITS NOT MY FAULT THAT I GOT THE SHIT SIDE OF LUCK

*laugh*
I
AM
ATOMIC

IM RUNNING OUTTA TIME NOTHING ABOUT THIS IS FEAR
I WILL SHOW YOU WHAT IS NOTHING I WILL SHOW YOU THE DESPAIR
AND WHILE YOU SIT THERE AND CRY ILL MAKE A KNOT IN MY HAIR
SO YOU FEEL PITY WHEN IM GASPING FOR THE AIR

despair

feat. @chiefjuno
prod Oh well. & @thrmls

lyrics: 

I just get mad at me
10 thousand hours of regret
I do it masterfully
I'm overloaded but I'm drained 
Just like a battery
And all my problems
They get worse at night like after three

Man I hate this feeling
It's hard to describe
Living in a box
No one can see me like a mime
Nothing I do is good enough 
I'm never satisfied
And the more I think about it
Then the less I wanna try
Man I hate wading
Lost in the ocean with no one to save me
Try to paint a picture but 
I'm too nice so no shading
All give and no take so
My magic is fading
Tried to build a bridge 
But my legs were shaking

I'm so scared of 
Shit that isn't there
It's getting hard to handle
But I can't pretend
We're just friends
It doesn't make sense 
For me to be your man though
Like can we just be honest
Do you really expect me to solve this
I've been up all night
I'm nauseous
It's never gonna work out 
I called it
She feels so unseen
Dropped out of school
Low self esteem
Taking different kinda pills all for the dopamine
She's been waiting all her life to take it out on me

Man I hate this feeling
It's hard to describe
Living in a box
No one can see me like a mime
Nothing I do is good enough 
I'm never satisfied
And the more I think about it
Then the less I wanna try
Man I hate wading
Lost in the ocean with no one to save me
Try to paint a picture but 
I'm too nice so no shading
All give and no take so
My magic is fading
Tried to build a bridge 
But my legs were shaking

I guess this is all that's left of me
Hate to admit it I got jealousy
Cause I don't really have a legacy
I probably need therapy

This feeling is too hard to describe
Living in a box
No one sees you like a mime
That's why I'm always late when I arrive
The more I think about it then the less I wanna
Try

hard2describe (feat. juno)

OUT ON ALL PLATFORMS
produced by me and argus
mastered by pdktp
-
lyrics:

Every day that passes is just another headache
Rotting in my bed, soon enough I will be dead weight
Always hated change, you know that I can't accept things
I know I said things, don't hold that all against me yeah

I can't be mad cause I know that you never meant it
You did your worst to be but I know you regret it
I know that I can't explain
The thoughts in my brain
Just tell me it's okay

Tell me that I'm worth it
I know I'm not perfect
I know I put you through hell
I know I deserve it

I just want to save us
You made it about you
Yeah it's getting cliche, but I can't live without you

Tell me that I'm worth it
I know I'm not perfect
I know I put you through hell
I know I deserve it

I just want to save us
You made it about you
Yeah it's getting cliche, but I can't live without you

(I know I can't take much more
You put me down on the floor
And I can't give you myself
You think I'm lying when I-)

Did I put you through hell?
I know you hate my guts, but I still wish you well
Did I even deserve it?
Tell me what's the purpose?
Cut me off and let me be all on my own

I know I can't take much more
You put me down on the floor
And I can't give you myself
You think I'm lying when I-

Tell me that I'm worth it
I know I'm not perfect
I know I put you through hell
I know I deserve it

I just want to save us
You made it about you
Yeah it's getting cliche, but I can't live without you

Tell me that I'm worth it
I know I'm not perfect
I know I put you through hell
I know I deserve it

I just want to save us
You made it about you
Yeah it's getting cliche, but I can't live without you

strings attached (p. 19hearts)

maxeem