circa december 2022

oh ill do it my way
just a whisper planting thoughts in my brain
i can't understand why you look sideways
i don't understand why you like dying
move this way ill hold you
you're so pissed off
i told you
i would run if you needed my help
im tired of feeling like im on the shelf
ill splatter my brain and leave it on the walls
im tired of liking you it wont resolve
open that door you know i can't do that
i'm jus a fool with intentions to move back

sideways

produced by chromecue (n me a little)

cover art drawn by my brother & edited by ilxrrrr

//lyrics 

you been keeping my eyes wide open
you been leading a life im hopin
i can have a part in i chose it
dont know where we started
well, i forgot it but
oh well
dont tell nobody else
i need you to myself, oh
been waiting on a call all week
ill take it like its all on me
just give it up
tied around you and its pitiful
aint been getting much sleep, lately
around 3 terrified of that dream
i swear to god if i dont get sleep, ill
have you running back to me
my tears have only grown old
right here you saw me stone cold
my fears, ive never once shown
dont treat me like a sword in the stone bae if it all
depends on the weather
you cant move on when its said and, done
if you cant get better
dont, come to me with all your letters ill run
till we cross ill be far away from that era
when you fall i wont wanna get back together

like im in a coma
wrapped 'round me like a cobra
dont talk like i aint been in this so long
i got some memories that i could pull up
speaking of
i just wanna talk to you, baby
one stop till it all goes, crazy
dont drop what we all know
I, get a call when its autumn
it says you right there, (f*ck it)
it says you right there
we aint talk in so long
its like i dont even know ya
i dont care cause we're so in
scared and we know it
and i dont wanna give it up
tied around you and its pitiful
you dont act surprised its by design
tell me everything
it alligns i treat it like your medicine
like a crutch telling me it hasnt been, over
we gotta cut it off while we're still young
we'll grow old
its just fun, till your part of my soul now i need to grow up
we've grown cold
dont treat me like a sword in the stone bae if it all
depends on the weather
you cant move on when its said and, done
if you cant get better
dont, come to me with all your letters ill run
till we cross ill be far away from that era
when you fall i wont wanna get back together

cobra

end of an era... stay tuned

produced by sai
cover art edited by ilxrrr

//lyrics

What you thinking
What you think bout me what you thinking aw
What you think bout me what you think
What you think
Only you would try to ruin my life
So obsessed its like you’re still mine
Im so stressed what you did to my mind wasnt right
You come into my life just to terrorize
When i go gold spreading lies
You think you’re so fucking noble
I dont buy it
Begged you for forgiveness like half the time
Then you turn around and spin it
No i dont think i like you
Or anyone thats around
All your groupchat validation putting me down
I just assume that you wanna see me dead in the ground
Or somewhere i wont be found
Well too bad cus soon youll see me everywhere
The regrets thatll follow you everywhere
Dont pretend this wont follow you everywhere
I hope it follows you everywhere, everywhere
I hope this follows you everywhere

What you thinking
What you think bout me what you thinking aw
What you think bout me what you think
Whatchu think
Treated you the best i could but you cant admit now cause how bad youd look
Give me back the rest you took when you’re laying at night think about what you should’ve done
What it was, was something manifested from the one you loved
Just act like yall cant trust me like it wasnt sum
Just Deep inside your mind that you bottled up
Please wake up
Always some shit you made up
Started to feel like fake love
If you got an issue with me say sum
Say something, just say
What you think

whatchu think [p. sai]

brown eyes

all songs written, mixed, mastered, & performed by me
produced by plantcham
outro by aftrr
additional production by me

I packed all my bags and left my home town
And when I come I want to be something
Make my dad proud
Oh isn’t it obvious love?
That I miss you so dearly
Can you hear me?
Oh I’ll make it easy

Pulled your knife but I’m already dead
Is heaven somewhere that I’ll be?
Wore up your shoes kicking dirt in my face
It’s how it’s supposed to be love
God strike me down from above
Just tell me what you really want
What you really want

At a rest stop in a car with some people I don’t know
Maybe if we didn’t live far then our eyes would both be glowing gold
Dream girl don’t love me no more (don’t throw it away)
Threw my morals out like a whore (you threw it away)
You don’t gotta save me darling
I spent the last month getting high
Wishing I wasn’t alive and steady crying
I told myself don’t die yet
That’d be so violent

I’ve been up all night for you
Ruin my mind for you
Giving all this time for you
Peeling back my eyes for you
Oh baby can’t you see? (that my head is on the floor, bae head is on the floor)
Oh baby can’t you see? (do you love me anymore bae, love me anymore?)
Love me anymore

Pulled your knife but I’m already dead
Is heaven somewhere that I’ll be?
Is heaven somewhere that I’ll be?
Is heaven somewhere that I’ll be? (go!)
Is heaven somewhere that I’ll be?

home

all songs written, mixed, mastered, & performed by me
produced by neverforever
additional production by me

They say, “give it time”
Suppose it’s only right
I wore a smile until the days had turn to night
I watched my knees give out as soon as I saw the text
I laid my conscience down to rest
I watched my options fade to grey
Till there was nothing left
I don’t wanna feel this way
I don’t wanna deal with it no more
The things I love about you
Are things I wish I could change

Are things I wish I could change
Are things I wish I could change
Wish I could change
You tore a hole in my brain
Pick up a piece of my remains
And leave the rest up to fate (are things I wish I could change)
Cause babe I feel like a slave
And I can’t deal with the pain
Don’t tell me it was all in vein
Oh these are things I wish I could change

change

all songs written, mixed, mastered, & performed by me
produced by kire

Tell me sweet lies baby
Tell me sweet lies baby
Tell me this shit is not real
Tell me it’s all a damn lie
I won’t give up this time
I won’t give up this-

Spent a month baby fuck- a lifetime
How do I say this so it come out right
Felt god let my hand out
Let it freeze up cause it felt nice
Pray I’ll see you again
Pray to god the phone rings and we’ll make amends
Pray to god my life don’t end
Pray to god won’t bloody up my arms and cry my eyes out again
Pray to god you’ll be fine if I’m on tomorrow’s paper
Love I hate to be a hater
But my eyes have grown so vacant
Know you love it when I say it
Like some shit about my music
Wrote my songs about you, won’t you take a listen?

Tell me sweet lies baby
Tell me sweet lies baby
Tell me this shit is not real
Tell me it’s all a damn lie
I won’t give up this time
I won’t give up this-

forswear

had to start this year off with something different than usual, im hoping to drop every month :] i love you thank you for pressing play

forswear

spoder