If you have problems with substances,
Dial 911 and tell them you’re a bitch!

Drinking problem?
Drug issues?
Gambling debt,
Sniffing shoes?

Smoke some dank weed,
Put your baby in the front seat,
Fuck a seatbelt, that shit you don’t need,
Shoplift a bottle of whiskey.

Give a cigarette to a teen,
Get him addicted to nicotine,
Say something offensive to a minority,
And throw plastic into the sea.

Smoke that crack, yeah!
Buy some smack, bitch!
Steal money from your parents and pay a hooker to whack your sack, yeah!

Bad influence,
Go be a bad influence!
Bad influence,
Go be a bad influence!
Yeah!

Buy a gram of methamphetamine,
And a bag of ecstasy,
And some needles that are unclean,
And leave them in a playground by a tree.

Call your dealer and snort PCP,
Break into your neighbor’s house, steal their Jeep
As you speed down the street,
Until you’re dizzy and your nose bleeds.

And then prank call the police,
And say you dumped a body in the sea,
On your tax forms always cheat,
And fuck your job just oversleep.

Call your friends and throw a party,
Buy ten grams of ketamine,
Give them all to your brother pete,
Who’s only fifteen.

Call a hooker and blow your seed,
Without protection and inbreed,
With your first cousin Ashley,
Like they do in Tennessee.

Chug a bottle of benzopyrene,
And shoot up in a limousine,
Until you and your friends OD,
And your skin turns all green.

“You know, the best advice I ever got was from my uncle Jack just before he OD'd, he said, 'drugs aren’t the problem, it’s your attitude about the problem that are the drugs!'"

Smoke that crack, yeah!
Buy some smack, bitch!
Steal money from your parents and pay a hooker to whack your sack, yeah!

Bad influence,
Go be a bad influence!
Bad influence,
Go be a bad influence!
Yeah!

Don’t wear sunscreen,
Don’t be safe with gasoline,
Don’t get a master’s degree,
Don’t get enough sleep,
Don’t listen to nobody,
And don’t be role modeling!

You're here for a good time, not for a long time, right?
Whoever is with me, finish snorting that white,
Burn up that dust, shoot up that meth,
And open this pit for a wall of death!

"I want everyone side to fucking side, I want more blood on your faces than the last time you overdosed on Ritalin, are you ready?"

One. Two. Three. Go!

Smoke that crack, yeah!
Buy some smack, bitch!
Steal money from your parents and pay a hooker to whack your sack, yeah!

Bad influence,
Go be a bad influence!
Bad influence,
Go be a bad influence!
Yeah!

Smoke that crack, yeah!
Buy some smack, bitch!
Steal money from your parents and pay a hooker to whack your sack, yeah!

Bad influence,
Go be a bad influence!
Bad influence,
Go be a bad influence!
Yeah!

“Alright guys, I’m uh, I’m gonna go get high.”

Bad Influence

Hey dad, how do I be metal like you?
 Woke up at noon, pissed in a can,
Then buttchugged vodka with my Great Gram Gram,
Blacked out on whiskey, covered in tats,
Woke up metal and pet my cat!

I break my own bones just to hear them crack,
Spit on a cop to get my microphone back,
Got my ribs removed so I could lick my ballsack,
Then gave the IRS an anxiety attack!

Metal as fuck it’s the way we live,
Blood, sweat, and cats, it’s all we give,
Screaming loud, ripping bibles apart,
Metal as fuck, take a shit at Walmart!

Ripping the strings like they're a sinner's soul,
Chugging Jack and swallow yours whole.
What’s metal as fuck? Let’s break it down,
Here’s a list we’ll go down, then we’ll do a breakdown!

Punched a cow!
— That’s metal as fuck!
Torched a Toyota!
— That’s metal as fuck!
Saved a cat from a fire!
— That’s metal as fuck!
Learned German!
— That’s metal as fuck! 
Ate nails for breakfast!
— That’s metal as fuck!
Without any milk!
— That’s metal as fuck! 
Crashed the economy!
— That’s metal as fuck!
Met a guy from Bosnia
— That’s metal as fuck!
Covered my dick in hot sauce
— That’s metal as fuck!
Put pineapple on pizza
— That’s stupid as fuck!
Cooked crack
— That’s metal as fuck!
Touched some tits
— That, that, that’s metal as fuck!
Then I touched a dude’s dick
— That’s metal as fuck!
Read a book
— no, man, that’s not metal, that’s actually kinda lame. 
Then I burn the book!
— Oh that’s metal as fuck!
And then I pet a cat!
— That’s metal as fuck!

Metal as fuck it’s the way we live,
Blood, sweat, and cats, it’s all we give,
Screaming loud, punching holes in fine art, 
Metal as fuck, like Napoleon Bonaparte!

“Wait wait wait! We forgot to do the breakdown.”
“Oh right, uh, uhm okay, fuck it let’s just—“

Aaaaaa!
Aaaaaaaa!
Aaaaaaaaaaa!!

That’s metal as fuck!
Aaaaaaaa!
Get metal as fuck!
Aaaaaaaaaaaaa!
Buy a cat!
Aaaaaaaaaaa!
Have sex in a garbage truck!

 What’s metal as fuck? You wanna know?
I trained my cat how to shoot a crossbow
I headbanged so hard I dislocated my spine,
When I woke up from my coma I said it’s party time!

Party time
Metal sign
This divine
Bloodline
No sunshine,
No weak wine
No life line
No traffic sign
Economy class American Airlines
Moonshine
Lichenstein
Cyanide
Frankenstein
Amplified
Crucified
Declassified
Burger king with coleslaw on the side
Earthquake fault line
Interior design
Crosseyed
Cockeyed
Backside
Blindside, blindside
Liquified
Tomatoes with insecticide
You got the point let’s pet a cat!

I pet a cat!
That’s metal as fuck!
I jumped off a cliff!
That’s metal as fuck! 
I did a keg stand at my grandma’s wake!
That’s metal as fuck!
Then stole her car and drove it into a lake!
That’s metal as fuck!

That’s metal as fuck, fuck, fuck!
Find me tree to fuck, fuck, fuck!
Cause I love nature, flowers, and ducks!
And my indoor cat, who’s metal as fuck!
Metal, as fuck!

That’s metal as fuck!
That’s metal as fuck, fuck, fuck!
Find me tree to fuck, fuck, fuck!
Cause I love nature, flowers, and ducks!
And my indoor cat, who’s metal as fuck!
Metal-as-fuck!

Bad Influence

2 Guys, 1 Chainsaw

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