im so tired ive felt like this for as long as i can remember. it never changes.

If u like this track pls check out my new track La Rosa.. (NotAGoodPersonPt.2)  I producer all my music myself with my friend and producer Icy Z.  I put my all into this track..down to the notes I played on my guitar. if u listen pls comment your thoughts on the track n if you read this thank for your time,much love n gratitude🤞🏼💯🌹

such a gem man miss these times crazy how much time has passed

ambition & torpidity

'Bitter Blue '
coming soon...

Prod:
@93feetofsmoke

MERCH: http://lilxlotus.storenvy.com/products/18507607-lil-lotus-noose-longsleeve

And i still remember 
Your hands in my hair
And the fireplace in December
And time's forever changing
But i still feel the same for you
I just wish you felt the same way too

I don't wanna waste you time 
And i know you have a better life
But it's stuck inside my head 
And i don't wanna leave my bed

So just tell me you want me 
Tell me you need me
Tell me you'll come back
And you're never leaving

I was eighteen when you loved me
And now i know I'm twenty-something
But I'm still hoping that you'd come home
And tell me everywhere that you've gone

eighteen (prod. 93FEETOFSMOKE)

video - https://youtu.be/yq3D0OisawU

no samples
prod/mix/master @93feetofsmoke
ft. @youngburial

ϟ Fats'e ϟ

I barely know you
how could I trust you?
how can you trust me
have you seen what I've seen?
x2

Have you ever had a gun against your head
Have you started counting down til your last breath
x2

ϟ 93 ϟ

stop fucking preaching 
don't talk to me
shut the fuck up 
get away from me
x2

stfugafm ft. fats'e

@prodreaper @93feetofsmoke

i can't trust anyone 
tell your friends pretty stories 
i just wanted a peace of mind 
and all the years wasted time 

every bridge is burned 
i don't wanna know 
stabbed me in the heart then you took my  soul 
never get it back i can't get it back 
no, no, no 

like be honest?  do you want it?
i know your eyes when you're lying 
and i'm trying, and i'm dying to hold it together in my hands 

no trust 

(93FEETOFSMOKE)
I dont understand
Where the Fuck I am 
Blood on my back
Blisters on my hands

Do you even know
Who the Fuck i am lately 
I can feel the stress
Gripping round my neck
Save me 

Do you understand 
Time is getting thin
Lately
Trailing a fine line 
Between fine and kill me 

6 speed
See me Earnhardt
Thru the nosebleeds

No trust I got no love
Left in me 

6 speed
See me Earnhardt
Thru the nosebleeds

No trust 
I got no love
Left in me 

I tried my best 
Is it working
My brain is 
Such a fucking a bully

Do you understand 
Time is getting thin
Lately
Trailing a fine line 
Between fine and kill me 

6 speed
See me Earnhardt
Thru the nosebleeds

No trust I got no love
Left in me

no trust w/93FEETOFSMOKE (prod. reaper)

@ihateshinigami

it never rains anymore
i've been laying on the floor
so disgusted with myself
cant fucking take this anymore

i'm the thorn in the roses
body decomposing
leave me in the past
I bet no one will even notice

hands shaky like my life
its fucking hard just to type
none of my friends are alright
just hiding tears in our eyes

trust me i wish i could stop caring
i swear to god i'm fucking trying
my heads just fucked up from the lying
honest i wish you never met me

my heads just fucked up from the lying
honest i wish you never met me

it never rains anymore
i've been laying on the floor
so disgusted with myself
cant fucking take this anymore

i'm the thorn in the roses
body decomposing
leave me in the past
I bet no one will even notice

i have this this hole in my chest
it hurts so bad i can't rest
waking up from all this stress
i'm fucking trying my best
to live a life on my own
i always stare at my phone
waiting for you to hit me back
because i always feel alone

im the thorn in the roses
body decomposing
leave me in the past
I bet no one will even notice

leave me in the past
i bet no one will even notice

shinigami x 93feetofsmoke - it never rains anymore

music video:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IC7Ak_JNOWA
hosted by sad chill </3

@prodreaper

i cant feel a fucking thing
keep my eyes up to the rain
death is callin out my name
it's not too late to call again
the sky starts fallin on my face
but i'll always pull up to the same old place
marijuana rolled up, hit a gram to the face
said it's never been so good to fucking feel so dead

it could never be the same
put the double barreled to my brain
next to my 40 oz and pack of cigs
i'll paint a picture with the parts that remain

what would you do
if we could go back and maybe change some things?
if only you knew
that i'd do it all again just to get to where i'm at
sometimes ur eyes turn blue
and sunshines look fine without
or anybody that i knew
yeah, weeks go by where i don't think about you

Follow me <3

sometimes ur eyes turn blue (prod. reaper) </3 music video in description </3

prod. Anxiety Attacks! x cFee! x Bruce Leen
guitar/mix/master: Anxiety Attacks!
IG: www.instagram.com/ANXIETYxATTACKS/
Twitter: twitter.com/ANXIETYxATTACKS

LYRICS:
I'm sorry for the things I said
I'm sorry bout the shit I did
I lose my mind just tryna sleep at night
So take my hand or take my life
Baby I'm the Heart & you're the Knife
I've been out of reach & out of sight
but if there's one thing keeping me alive,
thinking maybe one day you'll be mine
So take my hand or take my life
Baby I'm the Heart & you're the Knife
I've been out of reach & out of sight
but if there's one thing keeping me alive...

it's alright, it's alright, it's alright, yeah
it's only right I spend some time by your side, yeah
you're feeling helpless & you're in denial
I'm feeling selfish when I'm suicidal
you're feeling helpless & you're in denial
I'm feeling selfish when I'm suicidal
you know I'll be there if you need me, 
I'll be here as long as I'm breathing
heaven down to hell when you're leaving, 
holding onto hope, & I'm thinking ya...

I'm sorry for the things I said
I'm sorry bout the shit I did
I lose my mind just tryna sleep at night
So take my hand or take my life
Baby I'm the Heart & you're the Knife
I've been out of reach & out of sight
but if there's one thing keeping me alive,
thinking maybe one day you'll be mine
So take my hand or take my life
Baby I'm the Heart & you're the Knife
I've been out of reach & out of sight
but if there's one thing keeping me alive...

listen on Spotify<3

The Heart & The Knife

prod. @4evrgone

I don't know who i am
i don't trust who you are
lately all i can do is pray to the stars
that this bleak observation of everything i see
might one day turnaround 
i need to get some fucking help

im fucking sick of myself 
fucking sick of how my brain has a mind for itself
consider this an open letter you wont read for yourself
yeah of course im talking bout whos typing these words all down

looking more and more like deadman in this wonderland town
looking more and more like deadman in this wonderland town

leave me in the past like your bad dreams
dont care if your home in the morning
im betting its best to ignore me
its worthless for us to keep pushing
leave me in the past like your bad dreams
dont care if your home in the morning
im betting its best to ignore me
its worthless for us to keep pushing
im fucking sick of myself 

im fucking sick of myself
fucking sick of how my brain has a mind for itself
consider this an open letter you wont read for yourself
yeah of course im talking bout whos typing these words all down

leave me in the past like your bad dreams
dont care if your home in the morning
im betting its best to ignore me
its worthless for us to keep pushing
leave me in the past like your bad dreams
dont care if your home in the morning
im betting its best to ignore me
its worthless for us to keep pushing

sick of myself (prod. 4evr)

i know its all my fault
i know its all my fault

I can hardly sleep with all this paranoia
Right now I’m not worth it
Let me prove it to ya
Stay around for long enough
I’ll sadly show ya
There’s a traitor in my mirror
And I don’t fucking know him

My brain places demons
In the darkest corners
I’ve been hearing echos
In this burning forest
The fire and the embers
Say they’re coming for us
I’m not ready for the dirt
But I’m still sinking lower

I hate myself for hurting people
That I love the most
I hate myself for always acting
Like it’s not my fault
I hate myself for hurting people
That I love the most
I hate myself for always acting
Like it’s not my fault

swear this shit gotta stop
but i like pain a lot
and you like that im fucked
you just wont admit it
i've been biting my tongue
goosebumps up on my arm
i'll just talk to this cup
and forget the issue

I can hardly sleep with this paranoia
Right now I’m not worth it
Let me prove it to ya
Stay around for long enough
I’ll sadly show ya
There’s a traitor in the mirror
And I don’t fucking know him

My brain places demons
In the darkest corners
I’ve been hearing echos
In this burning forest
The fire and the embers
Say they’re coming for us
I’m not ready for the dirt
But I’m still sinking lower

I hate myself for hurting people
That I love the most
I hate myself for always acting
Like it’s not my fault
I hate myself for hurting people
That I love the most
I hate myself for always acting
Like it’s not my fault

PPL THT I LUV THE MOST

Every day without you seems
like such a waste and I’m afraid that I’m not ever gonna be the same
and everyday I’m so ashamed
to let them see what we’ve become and how it’s killing me
lately everybody asks where I’ve been
I’ve been doing my best to keep quiet
in my room missing you oh they’re lying
they don’t care they just can’t take the silence
lately everybody asks where I’ve been
I’ve been doing my best to keep quiet
In my room missing you and I’m trying 
so hard to restart but I’m finding that 

Everyday without you seems
like such a waste and I’m afraid that I’m not ever gonna be the same
everyday I’m so ashamed
to let them see what we’ve become and how it’s killing me

sick of spending every second every day
wishing that you’d come back or say something
everybody always wants something from me except for you and it’s so confusing 
sick of spending every moment every night remembering when you’d come over like it was just yesterday but who am I kidding 
did it to myself and there’s no forgetting

every day (prod. neek)

vocals in order of appearance
93feetofsmoke
fats'e
cøzybøy

produced by jay vee
coproduced by fats'e & 93

@youngburial
@93feetofsmoke
@cozyboycries

shinigami x 93feetofsmoke - it never rains anymore

93FEETOFSMOKE

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