Situationships are undefined romantic or sexual relationships that lack clear commitment or future plans, often leading to ambiguous expectations between partners. For some gay men, growing up in a heteronormative society can lead to attachment issues or a fear of commitment, making them more likely to find themselves in situationships where emotional vulnerability is limited.

In this episode, we’re examining the telltale signs and red flags of situationships, discussing how these ambiguous relationships can affect mental health, and offering guidance on how to navigate a situationship if you find yourself in one.

Related Episodes:
Listen to Episode 15. Understanding Attachment Styles
https://www.ajadedgay.com/15-understanding-attachment-styles/

Listen to Episode 70. Good Grief: How to Cope with Loss
https://www.ajadedgay.com/70-good-grief-how-to-cope-with-loss/

Listen to Episode 71. Queer Grief
https://www.ajadedgay.com/71-queer-grief/

Listen to Bonus 14. WTF America?
https://www.patreon.com/posts/bonus-14-wtf-115483493?utm_medium=clipboard_copy&utm_source=copyLink&utm_campaign=postshare_creator&utm_content=join_link

Additional Resources:
Situationship Definition
https://dictionary.cambridge.org/us/dictionary/english/situationship

Situationship vs Friends With Benefits
https://drawingdownthemoon.co.uk/situationship-vs-friends-with-benefits/

Situationships: What They Are and 5 Signs You’re in One
https://health.clevelandclinic.org/what-is-a-situationship

10 Signs You're in a Situationship, Whether You Know It or Not
https://www.instyle.com/what-is-a-situationship-5378299

What to Do if Your Situationship is Screwing With Your Mental Health
https://www.wondermind.com/article/situationship/

Why Situationships Can Be Toxic and How to Break Free
https://www.radiantselftherapy.com/writing/why-situationships-can-be-toxic-and-how-to-break-free

Support the show
https://www.patreon.com/ajadedgaypod

Get Your Merch
https://a-jaded-gay.creator-spring.com/

128. Situationships: What's the Sitch?

In previous episodes, we discussed how gay men often found refuge in mafia-owned private bottle clubs, where they could drink and socialize without the fear of police raids or public hostility. These underground venues, while risky due to their illegal nature, offered a rare safe haven where gay men could express themselves more freely and form a sense of community away from the prying eyes of a largely unwelcoming society.

In this episode, crime writer Chris Holcombe joins us to discuss how gay speakeasies emerged during the Prohibition era as secretive, underground venues where LGBTQ+ individuals could gather away from the scrutiny and persecution of mainstream society.

Full Episode:
https://www.ajadedgay.com/136-closets-cocktails-the-secret-history-of-gay-speakeasies-with-chris-holcombe/

Related Episodes:
Listen to Episode 17. Mobsters & Mos: How the Mafia Owned Gay Nightlife
https://www.ajadedgay.com/17-mobsters-mos-how-the-mafia-owned-gay-nightlife/

Listen to Episode 63. The Stonewall Riots
https://www.ajadedgay.com/63-the-stonewall-riots/

Additional Resources:
Learn More About Chris Holcombe
https://www.chrisholcombe.com/

Follow Chris on Instagram
https://www.instagram.com/thechrisholcombe/

Support Chris on Patreon
http://patreon.com/ChrisHolcombeAuthor

Order the Hidden Gotham Series
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B09N41NSDB?binding=kindle_edition&qid=1654001598&sr=1-1&ref=dbs_dp_rwt_sb_pc_tukn

Subscribe to Chris’s Monthly Emails
http://www.chrisholcombe.com/sign-up

Gay New York: Gender, Urban Culture, and the Making of the Gay Male World, 1890-1940
https://www.amazon.com/Gay-New-York-Culture-1890-1940/dp/1541699211/ref=sr_1_1?crid=WJSX56HPYMEV&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.CUvBr017OJeT1f5qvGyrCz44QK34Ozr8HOeC8QwAR2A1fG0wOa5ZEXsXhBI0itKjm1VVZ2A-iIA1MuNKGzbZAtfllwS8jsVe5ug33VwAJEObjwCClxb2fLc52yyxNsmb8p7aFzSPIrvtkdD2_74z8iJnVmGdPJmhOQMCD0TQaIk5XY2jjtrQ2XddLSTBKiH2fjk4V57i5I189-8CzYvTniqbV2BdGPJx5qQZ5yc9dQY.hV4SSSrmof_Etfp9sZXN3z-vZfoLYjZEiSGmrhiseHE&dib_tag=se&keywords=george+chauncey&qid=1736167273&sprefix=george+chauncey%2Caps%2C97&sr=8-1

Bulldaggers, Pansies, and Chocolate Babies
https://www.amazon.com/Bulldaggers-Pansies-Chocolate-Babies-Triangulations/dp/0472034898/ref=sr_1_1?crid=8HW7MMDE8P9P&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.iPQRsZuf4wL2ztZUYynvc_7id-54vCg1fQnF21MtDik.7WQj57gOmTRzgGdF6s7s382c4D5Eg9sfRDthEBPvVgw&dib_tag=se&keywords=bulldaggers%2C+pansies%2C+and+chocolate+babies&qid=1736167332&sprefix=pansies+bullda%2Caps%2C116&sr=8-1

Three Plays: Sex / The Drag / The Pleasure Man
https://www.amazon.com/Three-Plays-Sex-Drag-Pleasure/dp/0415909333/ref=sr_1_1?crid=YLHT25D0JY36&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.MkV9frxOw8L9QUIj25sB7NK7Owhs4WJ52EMDEjAth2rjjiEEqjXi30nDxjTiQ0uV9E8qtU6uimz6nwwnYpQCCb4loq6oP-RAZICG1xIhGORHSxmq3Sm0ZDJi7dUEEyh2cadp-9B3V7UmFBGQVrHg4WEunU-DTzUjK320zoG9waDAhLZ-PTTuQinXJvLvpts1mUTONHYFuhSNHxe2GU-bClM6MWEF1M_fjeSrBzbl2Dg.D7-ymoosKPOme53Pdk5orWEa5C9x8mZHJii2Z3mBiVc&dib_tag=se&keywords=Mae+West%27s+the+drag&qid=1736167385&sprefix=mae+west%27s+the+drag%2Caps%2C104&sr=8-1

The Speakeasy Glossary – Queer Slang of the Prohibition Era
https://dannyashkenasi.com/2015/08/26/the-speakeasy-glossary-queer-slang-of-the-prohibition-era/

Support the show
https://www.patreon.com/ajadedgaypod

Get Your Merch
https://a-jaded-gay.creator-spring.com/

136. Closets & Cocktails: The Secret History Of Gay Speakeasies (with Chris Holcombe)

The term "daddy" has been used as slang for over 300 years and was embraced by the gay community in the 1970s, particularly within the leather subculture, leading to the popular phrase "leather daddy." Today, in gay culture, "daddy" represents an older, confident, and nurturing figure, often admired for their authority, maturity, and sexual appeal, while also evoking playful and affectionate dynamics within romantic relationships.

In this episode, For the Love of DILFs star Sal Zambito joins us to explore what it means to be a daddy in gay culture, the journey of embracing the daddy identity, and the valuable lessons daddies and boys can learn from one another within the gay community.

Full Episode:
https://www.ajadedgay.com/137-whos-your-daddy-with-sal-zambito/

Additional Resources:
Follow Sal on Instagram
https://www.instagram.com/bigsaltv/

Follow Sal on TikTok
https://www.tiktok.com/@bigsal.tv

Check out Sal on For the Love of DILFs Season 2
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tibD2v8q5MQ

Learn More About For the Love of DILFs
https://www.outtvgo.com/details/TV_SHOW/collection/6319503491112/for-the-love-of-dilfs

Conception of a Question: Who's Your Daddy?
https://www.washingtonpost.com/archive/lifestyle/2005/01/04/conception-of-a-question-whos-your-daddy/2537a7cf-a4e5-46da-939a-7aff5d20519b/

Here's an Outrageously Comprehensive Guide to the Term 'Daddy'
https://www.esquire.com/lifestyle/sex/a21529729/internet-daddy-what-is-daddy-explainer/

Gay Daddy (Urban Dictionary)
https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Gay%20Daddy

Daddy (Know Your Meme)
https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/daddy

S and M : Studies in dominance and submission
https://search.worldcat.org/title/478487523

Support the show
https://www.patreon.com/ajadedgaypod

Get Your Merch
https://a-jaded-gay.creator-spring.com/

137. Who’s Your Daddy? (with Sal Zambito)

We’ve previously examined the history of gay representation in TV and film, tracing its evolution from early portrayals to groundbreaking moments like Ellen, which helped pave the way for greater visibility. Among these influential shows, Will & Grace stood out as a game-changer, bringing gay characters into mainstream sitcoms and normalizing LGBTQ+ identities for a wide audience—though its representation wasn’t without flaws.

In this episode, we’re exploring the conception of Will & Grace, its cultural significance, and the lasting impact it had on queer representation in television.

Full Episode:
https://www.ajadedgay.com/138-will-grace/

Related Episodes:
Listen to Episode 07. The History of Gay Representation in TV & Film
https://www.ajadedgay.com/07-the-history-of-gay-representation-in-tv-film/

Listen to Episode 12. Queer as Folk
https://www.ajadedgay.com/12-queer-as-folk/

Listen to Episode 55. Gay for Pay: Should Straight Actors Play Queer Characters?
https://www.ajadedgay.com/55-gay-for-pay-should-straight-actors-play-queer-characters/

Additional Resources:
Streaming Through Stereotypes: The Progress and Pitfalls of LGBTQ+ Representation in Media
https://www.ajadedgay.com/blog/streaming-through-stereotypes-the-progress-and-pitfalls-of-lgbtq-representation-in-media/

Queer as Folk: A Groundbreaking Journey of LGBTQ+ Representation
https://www.ajadedgay.com/blog/queer-as-folk-a-groundbreaking-journey-of-lgbtq-representation/

Will & Grace
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Will_%26_Grace

Pilot (Will & Grace)
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pilot_(Will_%26_Grace)

Biden Says He is 'Absolutely Comfortable' with Same-Sex Marriage
https://archive.today/20120714223831/http://politicalticker.blogs.cnn.com/2012/05/06/biden-says-he-is-absolutely-comfortable-with-same-sex-marriage/

Obama Backs Gay Marriage
https://www.huffpost.com/entry/obama-gay-marriage_n_1503245

Support the show
https://www.patreon.com/ajadedgaypod

Get Your Merch
https://a-jaded-gay.creator-spring.com/

138. Will & Grace

Living in a world of fuckboys, homophobes, and inequalities can leave a gay feeling, well, jaded, so tune in for your weekly dose of gay empowerment. We're talking pop culture, politics, and dating hardships, all through the lens of overcoming gay trauma and nurturing our emotional wellbeing.

128. Situationships: What's the Sitch?

A Jaded Gay

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