circa — September 2021
https://newso.ng/rdbs

I realized who I'm talking to
it's not me or you
you don't care about me as much as I care about you

It's the pain in my stomach it's the way you kinda love it 
when I hate you
it's the flickering lights it's the chills down my spine
I can't live without you
and I can't do this anymore and all my guards are on the floor
I think I'm losing my mind but that's still better than waking up

Late Night Recovery

circa — June 2023
updated — May 2025

When I said I love you did I say it in a bad way, in a wrong way, in a bad way
(I've always thought about us together anyway, I know you love me can you tell me so that I know)
When I say I love you I mean it I'm not kidding, you do the cooking while I put away the dishes, uh huh
I hope those words mean anything to you, when I'm not with you the world seems so blue, uh huh
(Dreaming about how you were in my arms yesterday, and like always you threw my life away)
Eighteen years I've been living I've never met someone like you, someone like you
(I'd never thought I'd just be dreaming my life away, dreaming about how, bout how, bout how, bout how, bout how, bout how)
And like always you threw my life away

Stream

[track5]
prod. me

lyrics:

photographs on my doorstep
i don't know, did i misstep?
ima ask do you love me?
it's a trick question
but i couldn't ever tell you
not now
not now
not now, ever
-
(the answer)
you said make a move, this a tryout
so tell me why the fuck i'm out here dried out 
so tell me what the fuck it is you missed out
cuz it seems like an excuse for you to leave now
-
ima fucking break down i'll reset
you don't even know how much i'm upset
i hope that you know that i miss that 
god i hope you fucking know that i miss that.

[+20]

reset

(plays are botted)

dont expect me to change
only change that i see
is my mind and my heart
only time's what i please

so, dont expect me to change
only change that i see
i please everyone
and nobody please me

nobody please me 

dont expect me to stay
the time gon pass and please
i remember the days
that i felt that you like me

cuz youre everything i like

prod. me

art: @xaev 
prod.me 

she said it's cold but i wanna 
hear the wind outside, and i'll 
act like it's my birthday but
i'm not alright

and i wanna die sometimes 
swap clothes? not quite
restart my life

close my eyes and i'll see

she said it's cold but i wanna 
hear the wind outside, and i'll 
act like it's my birthday but
i'm not alright

and i wanna die sometimes 
swap clothes? not quite
restart my life

close my eyes and i'll see

just take what you want
i hate gain and loss
i've lost the whole plot

just take what you want
i hate gain and loss
i've lost the whole plot

close my eyes and i'll see

and i wanna die sometimes 
swap clothes? not quite
restart my life

close my eyes and i'll see

and i wanna die sometimes 
swap clothes? not quite
restart my life

close my eyes and i'll see

i don't wanna die
it's only sometimes
she says that i'm fine
it's all in my mind
i don't wanna die
i don't wanna die
it's only sometimes 

close my eyes and i'll see

just take what you want
i hate gain and loss
i've lost the whole plot

just take what you want
i hate gain and loss
i've lost the whole plot

close my eyes and i'll see

and i wanna die sometimes 
swap clothes? not quite
restart my life

close my eyes and i'll see

and i wanna die sometimes 
swap clothes? not quite
restart my life

close my eyes and i'll see

JUST TAKE WHAT YOU WANT
I HATE GAIN AND LOSS 
I'VE LOST THE WHOLE PLOT!!!!!!!!!!

close my eyes and i'll see.

gain & loss

prod. me!!!!
bandcamp!!!!!: https://froko.bandcamp.com/track/just-say-you-know-it
stream!!!!!: https://ffm.to/exdxyg

stream

Just say you know it

alright, here we are. i know this sounds kind of rushed, but i wanted to the show the amount of things i've been doing recently, i really hope they sound okay! i love you all
cover art: @zzoos
{00:00} SSOH - ID
{01:15} SSOH - CLOCK;GARDEN ID (WITH HELP FROM @iinnam)
{02:41} SSOH - ID
{03:53} SSOH - ID
{04:44} INTERMISSION (WITH HELP FROM @z-u-y-a)
{05:35} SSOH / RONKOE - ID (ORIGINAL MELODY FROM @casketo)
{06:48} XBOX GAMING SERVICES - ID
{07:42} SSOH - ID

watch it wilt (an unraveling)

[MUSIC VIDEO - https://youtu.be/BxLYEp4Ya1A]

prod.@xaev + @72crash + me

dont you notice me? 
dont you know thats me?
dont you notice me? 
dont you know thats me?
dont you notice me? 
dont you know thats me?
dont you notice me? 
dont you-

bruises on my body
dont ask me how i got it
brand new face i bought it
shout out to my doctor
bruises on my body 
please dont get me started
bruises on my body
i just wanna party

dont you notice me? 
dont you know thats me?
dont you notice me? 
dont you know thats me?

plastic surgery
im a perfect being
im the perfect me
ITS A BEAUTY THING
plastic surgery
im a perfect being
im the perfect me
ITS A BEAUTY THING

dont you notice me? 
dont you know thats me?
dont you notice me? 
its a beauty thing

dont you notice me? 
dont you know thats me?
dont you notice me? 
its a beauty th-

you just wanna be like me 
but you cant afford it
stop obsessing over me
but you know i love it
if you say i gotta leave
im like ok fuck it
PROMISE you wont follow me
if you blink you miss it

bitch im rolling in my bed
turn the music up
i just wanna smash my head
i just wanna jump

MUSIC IS MY DRUG
MUSIC GETS ME DRUNK
I DONT LOVE NO ONE
RIGHT NOW I JUST WANNA 
JUMP, JUMP

turn the bass up, why????
IM TOO SHY TO PARTY BUT ILL STAY UNTIL IM HIGH
i dont wanna talk i can talk between my eyes
right behind my forehead is where i form all my lies

MUSIC IS MY DRUG
MUSIC GETS ME DRUNK
MUSIC IS MY DRUG
MUSIC GETS ME DRUNK
MUSIC IS MY DRUG
MUSIC GETS ME DRUNK
MUSIC IS MY DRUG
MUSIC GETS ME DRUNK
MUSIC IS MY DRUG
MUSIC GETS ME DRUNK
MUSIC IS MY DRUG
MUSIC GETS ME DRUNK
MUSIC IS MY DRUG
MUSIC GETS ME DRUNK
MUSIC IS MY DRUG
MUSIC GETS ME DRUNK

it's a beauty thing

produced, arranged, mixed & mastered by me

heavily inspired by the works of @virtual-riot, @iamnasko, @zeneth-sc, @eliderp, @sophro-audio

=======================================
hello all! this is my first drop in awhile! while it doesn't feature my vocals, months of work has gone into finalizing this project. additionally, i'm not entirely pleased with the final product of this song due to final mix, arrangement, vocals, sample selection, etc. but figured if i dont put it out it'll never come out. so thank you all for listening, better music soon. enjoy!

huge thank you to all of my friends who have taken the time to learn & progress with me i love all of you <3

when u come home

clickycamera

500 suscriptores FT Cabeza de Juárez FT XankillBoy

still banned from following people.. i hate U @soundcloud

prod. me

Alyx Trick