This is one of the best hah Idied at daddy jumped on em

Patz X  Christopher - Ikke Spør Om Tips (prod. Ginger)

beats

Wolverine feat. God Sort & Martin Massiv - Grov i Målet Marshtini remix (cuts av Subphotic)

As heard on Dan LeBatard Show, ESPN, 11/11/2013

Richie Incognito Song

A very White Guys account of the fine system developed on the Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz. 
If you don't like this track, you can go walk in the ocean, or maybe I'll take the walk. Is this up for debate? You never know!

Consulting by my friend, Andrew of Whisper Sands
https://whispersands.bandcamp.com/

Lyrics:
Waaa ooo aaa ooooh, that is a fine

When Dan gets somebody’s name wrong
When Mike gets all snobby on a song
The Reaper speaks out
Chris gets rattled and then freaks out
Then Stugotz interrupts with “That’s a fine”

Waaa ooo aaa ooooh, that is a fine

Sometimes Dan forgets to watch his tone
Stugotz coughs right in the microphone
When Billy is useless
When Stu blames to make excuses
Then we will all remind them that's a fine

Stugotz read the internet wrong
He got a fine, but his money was gone
Old Greg Cote sits in the chair
And says something that breaks the show beyond repair

Roy just typed a live read without skill
Stu just found a $20 bill (that’s a fine)
We hate to say it
One time Dan killed poor Frank Layden
And I think that’s a $50 fine

Waaa ooo aaa ooooh, that is a fine

Fine Song

A tribute to the laziest radio host in America. To the tune of "Flagpole Sitta" by Harvey Danger. 

Lyrics:


I had visions I would be a big time host like Mike or the Mad Dog
Called 911 on a bullfrog
It scared the living bleep out of me
Roy typed up a read and I’m not confidently sure I can read it
And no I’m never defeated
I’ll try to shift the blame off of me
Hope it’ll work, but no, it never does

I can’t read & I can’t spell
Am I Art Briles? Cause I’m in Hell

Had it up to here with all the Zappos boxes piled at my front door
I only looked at the box score
But I’ll pretend that I watched the game
I procrastinate and then I wind up texting Chris, Mike or Billy
To come up with something silly
And write my Weekend Observations for me, bleep you

I can’t read & I can’t spell
Am I Art Briles? Cause I’m in Hell
I can’t read & I can’t spell
It’d be a sin, to do my job well

I wanna be on screens
And take away some rings
I wanna have my Sundays with my wife it feels fine
I wanna play the back nine
Over at Pembroke Pines
I wanna guess some lines...
Take the Jets plus-niiiiiiiii-iiine...

Hell we doin’? Hell we doin’? All my teams are trying to annoy me
Or they embarrass or bore me
It makes me wanna break my TV
We made plans for golf and then I didn’t show; I’m sorry I missed ya
I had a lacrosse-mitzfa
Someday my lies will finally catch up to me (oh no!)

I can’t read & I can’t spell
Am I Art Briles? Cause I’m in Hell
I can’t read & I can’t spell
It’d be a sin, to do my job well

Show Poll Reada (A Stugotz Anthem)

A short but delightful little ditty about the legendary backup Center, Michael Doleac. To the tune of "Rocket Man (I Think It's Gonna Be a Long, Long Time) by Sir Elton John.

Lyrics:


Miami’s quite a place to play pro ball
In fact, it’s dope as Hell
Even with limited minutes, off the bench

The second unit really ain’t so bad
It’s just my job 3 games a week
For a back up fiiiiiihiiiive
Named Doleac

And I think it’s gonna be in garbage time 
When I get fouled and go to the free throw line
And unlike Shaq, I’m gonna make ‘em both
Oh whoa whoa whoa

Michael Doleac...
DOLEAAAAAAAC
Been around the league 10 years or so
But I’ve been coming off the bench a long, long time

Doleac (I Think It's Gonna Be In Garbage Time)

A tribute to the best darn sportswriter the Miami Herald has ever known. To the tune of "Maneater" by Daryl Hall & John Oates.

Lyrics:


Showkiller

He’s only on once a week
Musty and oblique
He’s had a cough since 1994
Watching and waiting... for his moment to bring things to a screeching halt

Whatever is interesting
He’ll relay the opposite thing
Sometimes he’ll bring a relic from his room of curios
Quality matters... but it doesn’t to Greg, that much we know for sure...

•
Whoa-oh here he comes
Cue the loser game show sound
Whoa-oh here he comes
He’s a showkiller

Whoa-oh there he goes
Missing the hard network out
Everybody knows
(Watch out) He’s a showkiller
•

He’s his own biggest fan
Lives to annoy Dan
He’s deadly, man — instantly just tears the show apart
Mindlessly blathers
He’s been coming for years, but he still doesn’t watch the clock

•
Whoa-oh here he comes
Cue the loser game show sound
Whoa-oh here he comes
He’s a showkiller

Whoa-oh there he goes
Missing the hard network out
Everybody knows
(Watch out) He’s a showkiller
•

Showkiller

This one's for the lovable Christopher Cote, and his recent dalliance with Australian horse race betting in the wake of a global pandemic that has halted all major sporting event...

To the tune of "Pony" by Ginuwine

Lyrics:

I'm just a gambler
Looking for some action
Real sports have been gone too long...
Who knows when they're coming back; so:

Chris Cote
Is betting
Australian ponies
Friend gave him
Tips and
Daddy jumped on 'em

(Australian) Ponies

This one's for Finny... kind of?

To the tune of "Back That Azz Up" by Juvenile.

Lyrics:

Shut That Dog Up

Stu we’re all workin' from home, yeah, you know, yeah
These aren’t like regular shows, yeah, to host, yeah
We’re just talkin’ on the Zoom, yeah, in our rooms, yeah
Things aren’t always running smooth, but it’s all good, yeah
‘Cept I keep hearing your dog, yeah
He’s loud, yeah
Gotta do something about it, it’s like he’s shoutin’
Hire somebody to walk him, or somethin’
You just ain’t doing enough, yeah
Ruff ruff, yeah
You could tie him to a post, yeah
While you host, yeah
Maybe throw a bone outside, yeah
Rawhide, yeah

We’re tryna do a show, can’t you shut your dog up
How come you have no control? Won’t you shut your dog up
You got a big house, can’t you shut that dog up?
We’re all in this together, #ShutThatDogUp

We’re tryna do a show, can’t you shut your dog up
How come you have no control? Won’t you shut your dog up
We all love Finny, but please shut that dog up
We’re all in this together, #ShutThatDogUp

Shut That Dog Up

You're my fat angel in the morning, angel
My gravy vampire in the evening, Danny
You're my fat angel in the morning, angel
A chunky baby boy for me, yeah

A Snack panther on a Mission: Empanada
My Uncle Fatty ate the whole enchilada
Tequila Mockingbird, diamonds in your belly
John Thicc with a booty full of jelly
Pie Hard, and you're feeling quite splendid
You try to run, but you were gone with the winded
Ate all the honey buns in the gas station
give the whole chunky nation sugar salvation

You're my fat angel in the morning, angel
Ate all the peeps you gave to me, Danny
You're my fat angel in the morning, angel
A cupcake cowboy on the beach! Yeah.

You're my fat angel in the morning, angel
My gravy vampire in the evening, Danny
You're my fat angel in the morning, angel
A chunky baby boy for me, yeah

Fat Angel

Dan Is Fat

To the tune of "You Give Love A Bad Name" by Bon Jovi

Lyrics:

It's Tua Time!
Ain't it a shame that we can't say his last name?

QB1 -- time will tell
Just hope Aaron Donald won't put him through Hell

Whoa! Now the Dolphins are fun!
Maybe the good times have finally begun?!

Tua's the guy
But it's a shame that we can't say his last name
He's got the goods
His arm's insane
But we can't say his last name...

(We Can't Say His Last Name...)

Yeti Blanc, Fleminem & I were asked to contribute to the "long version" of the stat of the day; a massive segment for the final episode of the Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz that aired on ESPN Radio. 

This is what we came up with. Enjoy!

STAT OF THE DAY (The Long Version)

- Incredibly niche song parodies
- 2x Suey Award Winner for Best Musical Performance
- Songsmith for Because Miami

(Australian) Ponies

andrewstreeter

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