Thank you for posting this. I can save it now. Sad day made awesome. Thank you all. 

Based on "The Way I Am" by Eminem

-------------

I cannot just sit back and relax when I see
on my feed that Durant won’t go out there and bleed 
or concede that the league ain’t what it used to be 
back when dudes wouldn’t rest, they played through injuries 
with significantly lower-paid salaries 
its so weak and unspeakable
Unbelievable 
please, just get out of my sight. 
Patrick Ewing got out and played “NIGHT AFTER NIGHT” with giant bags of ice on his knees, so you all can miss me with this thing called “load management” — an embarrassment, man — where Bob Cousey at?  Y’all can’t cut him slack

Dude would get off of the train from Ft. Wayne and go straight to the game — you know why? Cause THAT’S BASKETBALL. I’m so sick of y’all tryna tell me you can’t play in these games 
its absurd and insane with what you’re getting paid
I’m upset and outraged so

Get wrecked if you can’t be like HAVLICEK
If you’re hurtin’, you still go out and earn your check
Patrick Ewing, Paul Silas, and John HAVLICEK
Can’t play injured? You can’t earn respect

Get wrecked if you can’t be like HAVLICEK
If you’re hurtin’, you still go out and earn your check
Patrick Ewing, Paul Silas, and John HAVLICEK
Why can’t y'all just be like Havlicek?...

HAVLICEK (Get Wrecked) ft. Chris "Mad Dog" Russo

Based on "Astronaut In The Ocean" by Masked Wolf
--------------


Billy I’ve had quite enough of your eccentricities 
No one here’s equipped to handle your brand of neuroses 
When you’re talking way too much, and you’re causing a commotion, yeah
$2 fine, now go walk in the ocean ayy

Chris I’m not sure what you were just trying to do
S’posed to stay in your lane making 1 word out of 2
When you’re leaking confidence, like you’re stuck in slow motion, yeah
$2 fine, now go walk in the ocean

So much work to do
Stu’s like “yeah, that's true...”
Get it done by C-O-B
You can do all the work for free.
90/10 split my way
Can’t trust a word I say
‘Bout to make Dan go crazy
Care about you, don’t bet against Brady

Lemmy thought Dan said “Clouds?”
Stugotz’s headphones way too loud
Today he will not be around
Because his brother came to town
Coming-up with new ways to lie
Hey yo, man— its Chicken Time
Moderna, Dan-o — what’s my line?
Super Bowl week, my mom just died

Let's just get this straight for a second; Wittyngham
Doesn’t think that your last name is pronounced the way you say it is
Everything that he says is hifalutin
Making Pablo seem tame by comparison

Its the Stat of the Day, long version only
Why is everything you say a sports cliche?
Subscribe and rate, Mystery Crate
Scallawag gotta walk the plank
Greg doesn’t have a Back In My Day
Stu is reeling off another 700 nicknames

Guillermo, put it on the poll
You don’t get the show, you just wanna troll, uh
You want more of this, and less of that, and “Dan is fat”
You better check your entitlement...
Why y’all gotta be so — mean
Hiding behind your — screens
Internet trolls tryna make a scene
Shootin’ your web just like Amin

Reddit posters, you can pretty much all miss me
With your moaning and complaining ‘bout a show you get for free
Y’all just being giant babies tryna stir up a commotion, yeah
You fools can kick rocks and walk right into the ocean, ayy

Billy I’ve had quite enough of your eccentricities 
No one here’s equipped to handle your brand of neuroses 
When you’re talking way too much, and you’re causing a commotion, yeah
$2 fine, now go walk in the ocean

Walk In The Ocean

An original piece by Andrew Streeter

Artwork by Angel Resto!

Chris Wittyngham is a Fancy Lad

Music and Lyrics by Andrew Streeter

------

Overbearing just a tad
Chris Wittyngham is a fancy lad
Syntax errors make him sad
Chris Wittyngham is a fancy lad

So let us mount our penny farthings
Ride til dawn with our comrades
Shout at everyone you see that
Chris Wittyngham is a fancy lad

"Father"s what he calls his dad
Chris Wittyngham is a fancy lad
He knows the capital of Chad
Chris Wittyngham is a fancy lad

So raise your banners, shout "HUZZAH!"
Forget about when times were bad
All we should be focused on is
Chris Wittyngham is a fancy lad

It's become the latest fad
Chris Wittyngham is a fancy lad
Where'd you get your undergrad?
Chris Wittyngham is a fancy lad

It's time for tea and time for crumpets
Make your colleagues extra mad
All you really need to know is
Chris Wittyngham is a fancy lad
Chris Wittyngham is a fancy lad
Chris Wittyngham is a fancy lad

FANCY LAD (Director's Cut)

Hosts Tom and Dave discuss the "final" View Askew film.

Old Smith/New Smith: Jay And Silent Bob Strike Back/Cop Out (Part 01)

Em72-Chez Caro Et Sylvain 11/4/24

A tribute to the best darn sportswriter the Miami Herald has ever known. To the tune of "Maneater" by Daryl Hall & John Oates.

Lyrics:


Showkiller

He’s only on once a week
Musty and oblique
He’s had a cough since 1994
Watching and waiting... for his moment to bring things to a screeching halt

Whatever is interesting
He’ll relay the opposite thing
Sometimes he’ll bring a relic from his room of curios
Quality matters... but it doesn’t to Greg, that much we know for sure...

•
Whoa-oh here he comes
Cue the loser game show sound
Whoa-oh here he comes
He’s a showkiller

Whoa-oh there he goes
Missing the hard network out
Everybody knows
(Watch out) He’s a showkiller
•

He’s his own biggest fan
Lives to annoy Dan
He’s deadly, man — instantly just tears the show apart
Mindlessly blathers
He’s been coming for years, but he still doesn’t watch the clock

•
Whoa-oh here he comes
Cue the loser game show sound
Whoa-oh here he comes
He’s a showkiller

Whoa-oh there he goes
Missing the hard network out
Everybody knows
(Watch out) He’s a showkiller
•

Showkiller

Dan Is Fat

Based on "Video Killed The Radio Star" by The Buggles

Greg Cote Killed The Radio Show

A song from Dan's perspective about every Tuesday with Greg Cote.

Lyrics:
Ladies and Gents, this is the moment I'm bracing for
Ten seconds till the show and he's walking all around the floor
He's gonna say some things that are so useless that I can't ignore
Wasting his breath, stealing my time, and all of my calm is left behind.
I can't fight it he's coming for me every Tuesday
I'm almost certain that he will not have a Back in My Day
I wore a clock! Can't he see the end is getting closer.
I give up as his incompetence is taking over!
For some reason, I will keep the invitation open.
It's a wonder; why I've given him so much devotion.
He only comes to get a click! His egos overloading
and I know that Cote's gonna kill the show!

When he's in front of a few hot mics and his headphones are nowhere in sight!
No matter what we do, he's taking over you.
He's gonna kill the show!
We set him up to be a clown, and his son can't stop him now!
Try to say something new, he's talking over you.
He's gonna kill the show!

He's never gonna see the clock. He's not too good at listening.
Was he high at the MegaCast? We'll have to ask McGillicuty.
Either way, it makes me smile every time I see his face.
Then he takes it all away with another Lobos update!

When he's in front of a few hot mics and his headphones are nowhere in sight!
No matter what we do, he's taking over you.
He's gonna kill the show!
We set him up to be a clown, and his son can't stop him now!
Try to say something new, he's talking over you.
He's gonna kill the show!
(You never know! You never know!)
He's gonna kill the show!

The Greatest Showkiller

Yeti Blanc, Fleminem & I were asked to contribute to the "long version" of the stat of the day; a massive segment for the final episode of the Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz that aired on ESPN Radio. 

This is what we came up with. Enjoy!

STAT OF THE DAY (The Long Version)

- Incredibly niche song parodies
- 2x Suey Award Winner for Best Musical Performance
- Songsmith for Because Miami

STAT OF THE DAY (The Long Version)

andrewstreeter

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