Pirates G'na Pirate - Lebatard Show (produced by Sinima Beats)

Track 13 from The Dancing Plague.
Produced by Plantcham.
Mixed, mastered, written, recorded, arranged and released by Funeral Fantasy.

lyrics:

Don’t think too much about it
Don’t think too much
Let go
Let go
Let go

And here it comes here it comes
It’s just sex
It’s just fucking sex keep talking sex it’s all sex
I don’t want it
I can’t
I can’t

Yet I crave some attention
When I get it I get aroused
What’s wrong with me?
What’s wrong with me?

Don’t think too much
Yet it’s all I do
It’s all I do
And it hurts and it hurts and it hurts and it hurts

It’s just sex it’s just sex it’s just fucking sex
It’s just sex it’s just sex it’s just sex

I left my heart inside your scars
I watched it bleed and fell apart
I thought that we could take this far but never and ever again

You dressed as smart to act as scarred to break your part with open arms
You broke my heart and threw the shards into the pond showing who you are

And I took the blame
And I lost my ways but never and ever again
Will I commit to sex

I can’t
I just can’t
I fucking can’t
And I never will even if it’s just fucking sex
Even if it’s just fucking sex

Don’t think too much about it
Don’t think too much
Fuck
Let go
Let go

socials.

Sexual Frustration (prod. PLANTCHAM)

A tribute to the best darn sportswriter the Miami Herald has ever known. To the tune of "Maneater" by Daryl Hall & John Oates.

Lyrics:


Showkiller

He’s only on once a week
Musty and oblique
He’s had a cough since 1994
Watching and waiting... for his moment to bring things to a screeching halt

Whatever is interesting
He’ll relay the opposite thing
Sometimes he’ll bring a relic from his room of curios
Quality matters... but it doesn’t to Greg, that much we know for sure...

•
Whoa-oh here he comes
Cue the loser game show sound
Whoa-oh here he comes
He’s a showkiller

Whoa-oh there he goes
Missing the hard network out
Everybody knows
(Watch out) He’s a showkiller
•

He’s his own biggest fan
Lives to annoy Dan
He’s deadly, man — instantly just tears the show apart
Mindlessly blathers
He’s been coming for years, but he still doesn’t watch the clock

•
Whoa-oh here he comes
Cue the loser game show sound
Whoa-oh here he comes
He’s a showkiller

Whoa-oh there he goes
Missing the hard network out
Everybody knows
(Watch out) He’s a showkiller
•

Showkiller

You're my fat angel in the morning, angel
My gravy vampire in the evening, Danny
You're my fat angel in the morning, angel
A chunky baby boy for me, yeah

A Snack panther on a Mission: Empanada
My Uncle Fatty ate the whole enchilada
Tequila Mockingbird, diamonds in your belly
John Thicc with a booty full of jelly
Pie Hard, and you're feeling quite splendid
You try to run, but you were gone with the winded
Ate all the honey buns in the gas station
give the whole chunky nation sugar salvation

You're my fat angel in the morning, angel
Ate all the peeps you gave to me, Danny
You're my fat angel in the morning, angel
A cupcake cowboy on the beach! Yeah.

You're my fat angel in the morning, angel
My gravy vampire in the evening, Danny
You're my fat angel in the morning, angel
A chunky baby boy for me, yeah

Fat Angel

Not sure about you, but I think six weeks is just about enough wall-to-wall Michael Jordan documentary coverage/content for my liking (sports desert or not).

To the tune of "Mambo no. 5" by Lou Bega

Lyrics:


Twenty-three (and forty-five)
In a content desert, so come on let’s ride 
on the docuseries 10-parter
You know we gotta squeeze out all the juice
‘Cause right now we got nada
This thing ended just last night
But there must be more to analyze 
We’ll talk Jordan, MJ, Michael, The Greatest!
The Worldwide Leader’s got the latest:

A little bit of Michael on First Take
A little bit of Mike for Michael’s sake
A little bit of MJ on Will Cain
A little bit of Mike on Stephen A.
They’re gonna talk the GOAT on PTI
A little bit of Jordan, all the time
A little bit of MJ’s all we’ve got
A little bit of Mike, like it or not

Maybe a little MJ on GetUp
A smattering of Michael on The Jump
The GOAT debate again on Around The Horn
It’s gonna make ya wish you were never born
A little side of Michael with your lunch
I bet you wonder when this will be done
A little more Jordan in your face
I think I’d rather watch a NASCAR race

Jordan: All The Time

Dan Is Fat

A song from Dan's perspective about every Tuesday with Greg Cote.

Lyrics:
Ladies and Gents, this is the moment I'm bracing for
Ten seconds till the show and he's walking all around the floor
He's gonna say some things that are so useless that I can't ignore
Wasting his breath, stealing my time, and all of my calm is left behind.
I can't fight it he's coming for me every Tuesday
I'm almost certain that he will not have a Back in My Day
I wore a clock! Can't he see the end is getting closer.
I give up as his incompetence is taking over!
For some reason, I will keep the invitation open.
It's a wonder; why I've given him so much devotion.
He only comes to get a click! His egos overloading
and I know that Cote's gonna kill the show!

When he's in front of a few hot mics and his headphones are nowhere in sight!
No matter what we do, he's taking over you.
He's gonna kill the show!
We set him up to be a clown, and his son can't stop him now!
Try to say something new, he's talking over you.
He's gonna kill the show!

He's never gonna see the clock. He's not too good at listening.
Was he high at the MegaCast? We'll have to ask McGillicuty.
Either way, it makes me smile every time I see his face.
Then he takes it all away with another Lobos update!

When he's in front of a few hot mics and his headphones are nowhere in sight!
No matter what we do, he's taking over you.
He's gonna kill the show!
We set him up to be a clown, and his son can't stop him now!
Try to say something new, he's talking over you.
He's gonna kill the show!
(You never know! You never know!)
He's gonna kill the show!

The Greatest Showkiller

[Hook]
Stu on another lie, Now I’m out another hundred
What’s he’s doing? Hidin’ money
What’s he’s doing? Hidin’ money
What I’m doing? Waitin’ on em
But he’s got lacrosse
Sports Bang is the company
And Weiner’s the boss
 
And I be buntin’ like I’m Billy
Buntin’ like I’m Billy
Buntin’ like I’m Billy
I be buntin’ like I’m Billy
I'm the, young Bunter
Buntin’ like I’m Billy
Buntin’ like I’m Billy
I be buntin’ like I’m Billy
 
 
[Verse]
Here's the thing, Roy hates it when I say
Can't start a single sentence without rambling for days
 And I’m, I’m standin’ by, Opening day
Tried to call a big fly but Dan swallowed my play
I gotta eat, yea eating like I’m eight
And on my birthday Donny T-Ball came to hate/
I ran track, if ya mans wanna race
I’mma run around and put Amin’s shame on the cable/
Paws Up!, and let me say
Where I’m from we see an Afilador every day
What’s that sound? Mike is back it
Throw a demon at me, I throw an angel back at em
And I’m Pipo, Miami Fanatic 
If I had that same boat, I could have paddled the Atlantic/
I got receipts, Dan you never know
They may come an audit taxes, I’m a psycho with a neuros(is)...
 
 
[Hook]
Stu on another lie, Now I’m out another hundred
What’s he’s doing? Hidin’ money
What’s he’s doing? Hidin’ money
What I’m doing? Waitin’ on em
But he’s got lacrosse
Sports Bang is the company
And Weiner’s the boss
 
And I be buntin’ like I’m Billy
Buntin’ like I’m Billy
Buntin’ like I’m Billy
I be buntin’ like I’m Billy
I'm the, young Bunter
Buntin’ like I’m Billy
Buntin’ like I’m Billy
I be buntin’ like I’m Billy

Suey Dan Lebatard

Buntin' Like I'm Billy [Gil] - (Stuntin Like My Daddy Parody)

Yeti Blanc, Fleminem & I were asked to contribute to the "long version" of the stat of the day; a massive segment for the final episode of the Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz that aired on ESPN Radio. 

This is what we came up with. Enjoy!

STAT OF THE DAY (The Long Version)

Pirate Radio

To the tune of "YMCA" by the Village People.



Lyrics:
-------------------------

Sunday!

What we’ve all waited for, is this

Sunday!

Handing out the awards here on

Sunday!

In an ill-fitting suit will be 

Greg-o-ry Paul Co-te


That’s when

You’ll turn on the livestream to stare

Blankly

At Greg giving a speech

You aren’t even

In this fantasy league

But you still. won’t. want. to. miss. it...


The annual gala for

PFPI

Let’s have a party for

PFPI


Cheap mimosas be damned

This thing’s still in-demand

You should cancel all other plans


It’s the tradition of 

PFPI

Pro Football Predictions Incorporated


Oh, you have to be there

And pretend that you care

Or your bound to get a death glare

PFPI (featuring Yeti Blanc)

- Incredibly niche song parodies
- 2x Suey Award Winner for Best Musical Performance
- Songsmith for Because Miami

STAT OF THE DAY (The Long Version)

andrewstreeter