Dan LeBatard

LeBatard Show Songs

Pirates G'na Pirate - Lebatard Show (produced by Sinima Beats)

Based on "The Way I Am" by Eminem

-------------

I cannot just sit back and relax when I see
on my feed that Durant won’t go out there and bleed 
or concede that the league ain’t what it used to be 
back when dudes wouldn’t rest, they played through injuries 
with significantly lower-paid salaries 
its so weak and unspeakable
Unbelievable 
please, just get out of my sight. 
Patrick Ewing got out and played “NIGHT AFTER NIGHT” with giant bags of ice on his knees, so you all can miss me with this thing called “load management” — an embarrassment, man — where Bob Cousey at?  Y’all can’t cut him slack

Dude would get off of the train from Ft. Wayne and go straight to the game — you know why? Cause THAT’S BASKETBALL. I’m so sick of y’all tryna tell me you can’t play in these games 
its absurd and insane with what you’re getting paid
I’m upset and outraged so

Get wrecked if you can’t be like HAVLICEK
If you’re hurtin’, you still go out and earn your check
Patrick Ewing, Paul Silas, and John HAVLICEK
Can’t play injured? You can’t earn respect

Get wrecked if you can’t be like HAVLICEK
If you’re hurtin’, you still go out and earn your check
Patrick Ewing, Paul Silas, and John HAVLICEK
Why can’t y'all just be like Havlicek?...

HAVLICEK (Get Wrecked) ft. Chris "Mad Dog" Russo

Lyrics: Yeti Blanc, Chris Cote
Melody and vocal arrangement: Yeti Blanc
Vocals: Yeti Blanc
Music: "First Arrival" by Huw Jones and Sam Brown
Concept: Dan Le Batard
Inspiration: Corporate greed

We're All Gonna Die (Just Turn On The News)

The show was poking fun at the Miami Dolphins campaign:  "Since Moment", where fans share they have been a fan of the Dolphins since "insert memory here"

A texter shared his "moment since" which prompted the show to the do the following.

Dan Le Batard | Fake Pavarotti | Ode to Miami Dolphins QB's

A very White Guys account of the fine system developed on the Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz. 
If you don't like this track, you can go walk in the ocean, or maybe I'll take the walk. Is this up for debate? You never know!

Consulting by my friend, Andrew of Whisper Sands
https://whispersands.bandcamp.com/

Lyrics:
Waaa ooo aaa ooooh, that is a fine

When Dan gets somebody’s name wrong
When Mike gets all snobby on a song
The Reaper speaks out
Chris gets rattled and then freaks out
Then Stugotz interrupts with “That’s a fine”

Waaa ooo aaa ooooh, that is a fine

Sometimes Dan forgets to watch his tone
Stugotz coughs right in the microphone
When Billy is useless
When Stu blames to make excuses
Then we will all remind them that's a fine

Stugotz read the internet wrong
He got a fine, but his money was gone
Old Greg Cote sits in the chair
And says something that breaks the show beyond repair

Roy just typed a live read without skill
Stu just found a $20 bill (that’s a fine)
We hate to say it
One time Dan killed poor Frank Layden
And I think that’s a $50 fine

Waaa ooo aaa ooooh, that is a fine

Fine Song

A tribute to the laziest radio host in America. To the tune of "Flagpole Sitta" by Harvey Danger. 

Lyrics:


I had visions I would be a big time host like Mike or the Mad Dog
Called 911 on a bullfrog
It scared the living bleep out of me
Roy typed up a read and I’m not confidently sure I can read it
And no I’m never defeated
I’ll try to shift the blame off of me
Hope it’ll work, but no, it never does

I can’t read & I can’t spell
Am I Art Briles? Cause I’m in Hell

Had it up to here with all the Zappos boxes piled at my front door
I only looked at the box score
But I’ll pretend that I watched the game
I procrastinate and then I wind up texting Chris, Mike or Billy
To come up with something silly
And write my Weekend Observations for me, bleep you

I can’t read & I can’t spell
Am I Art Briles? Cause I’m in Hell
I can’t read & I can’t spell
It’d be a sin, to do my job well

I wanna be on screens
And take away some rings
I wanna have my Sundays with my wife it feels fine
I wanna play the back nine
Over at Pembroke Pines
I wanna guess some lines...
Take the Jets plus-niiiiiiiii-iiine...

Hell we doin’? Hell we doin’? All my teams are trying to annoy me
Or they embarrass or bore me
It makes me wanna break my TV
We made plans for golf and then I didn’t show; I’m sorry I missed ya
I had a lacrosse-mitzfa
Someday my lies will finally catch up to me (oh no!)

I can’t read & I can’t spell
Am I Art Briles? Cause I’m in Hell
I can’t read & I can’t spell
It’d be a sin, to do my job well

Show Poll Reada (A Stugotz Anthem)

Fake Jay - Z Ilgauskas Song

A short but delightful little ditty about the legendary backup Center, Michael Doleac. To the tune of "Rocket Man (I Think It's Gonna Be a Long, Long Time) by Sir Elton John.

Lyrics:


Miami’s quite a place to play pro ball
In fact, it’s dope as Hell
Even with limited minutes, off the bench

The second unit really ain’t so bad
It’s just my job 3 games a week
For a back up fiiiiiihiiiive
Named Doleac

And I think it’s gonna be in garbage time 
When I get fouled and go to the free throw line
And unlike Shaq, I’m gonna make ‘em both
Oh whoa whoa whoa

Michael Doleac...
DOLEAAAAAAAC
Been around the league 10 years or so
But I’ve been coming off the bench a long, long time

Doleac (I Think It's Gonna Be In Garbage Time)

A tribute to the best darn sportswriter the Miami Herald has ever known. To the tune of "Maneater" by Daryl Hall & John Oates.

Lyrics:


Showkiller

He’s only on once a week
Musty and oblique
He’s had a cough since 1994
Watching and waiting... for his moment to bring things to a screeching halt

Whatever is interesting
He’ll relay the opposite thing
Sometimes he’ll bring a relic from his room of curios
Quality matters... but it doesn’t to Greg, that much we know for sure...

•
Whoa-oh here he comes
Cue the loser game show sound
Whoa-oh here he comes
He’s a showkiller

Whoa-oh there he goes
Missing the hard network out
Everybody knows
(Watch out) He’s a showkiller
•

He’s his own biggest fan
Lives to annoy Dan
He’s deadly, man — instantly just tears the show apart
Mindlessly blathers
He’s been coming for years, but he still doesn’t watch the clock

•
Whoa-oh here he comes
Cue the loser game show sound
Whoa-oh here he comes
He’s a showkiller

Whoa-oh there he goes
Missing the hard network out
Everybody knows
(Watch out) He’s a showkiller
•

Showkiller

This one's for the lovable Christopher Cote, and his recent dalliance with Australian horse race betting in the wake of a global pandemic that has halted all major sporting event...

To the tune of "Pony" by Ginuwine

Lyrics:

I'm just a gambler
Looking for some action
Real sports have been gone too long...
Who knows when they're coming back; so:

Chris Cote
Is betting
Australian ponies
Friend gave him
Tips and
Daddy jumped on 'em

(Australian) Ponies

This one's for Finny... kind of?

To the tune of "Back That Azz Up" by Juvenile.

Lyrics:

Shut That Dog Up

Stu we’re all workin' from home, yeah, you know, yeah
These aren’t like regular shows, yeah, to host, yeah
We’re just talkin’ on the Zoom, yeah, in our rooms, yeah
Things aren’t always running smooth, but it’s all good, yeah
‘Cept I keep hearing your dog, yeah
He’s loud, yeah
Gotta do something about it, it’s like he’s shoutin’
Hire somebody to walk him, or somethin’
You just ain’t doing enough, yeah
Ruff ruff, yeah
You could tie him to a post, yeah
While you host, yeah
Maybe throw a bone outside, yeah
Rawhide, yeah

We’re tryna do a show, can’t you shut your dog up
How come you have no control? Won’t you shut your dog up
You got a big house, can’t you shut that dog up?
We’re all in this together, #ShutThatDogUp

We’re tryna do a show, can’t you shut your dog up
How come you have no control? Won’t you shut your dog up
We all love Finny, but please shut that dog up
We’re all in this together, #ShutThatDogUp

Shut That Dog Up

Lour Beat

Based on "Video Killed The Radio Star" by The Buggles

Greg Cote Killed The Radio Show

The Show

Lies Yourself (Stugotz Remix)

Thank. You. Dan. [Contributions by Leba Reddit]

You Don't Get The Show

Forgot About Dan (Lebatard and Mike Ryan)

To the tune of Come On Eileen by Dexys Midnight Runners.

Lyrics by Andrew Streeter and Yeti Blanc.


Poor old soul Kawhi...
Seemed sad in San Antonio
Got a ring up in Toronto
The Canucks all cried
When he left there -- who'd blame them?

Gone home (to LA)
Got Paul George (to LA)
Expectations higher than ever... (for the Clippers)

Tied 2-2, they're tied 2-2, oh boy....
Can they get out of the first round?

Pandemic P
Going 3 for 14
He just can't seem to hit anything
The Clips are their best
While he's getting some rest
Guess Kawhi has to do everything...

Pandemic P
A cancer to the team
Shots aren't falling for Pandemic P
Luka tore them to shreds
Did it on just one leg
Oh, come on now...
Pandemic P

Pandemic P

[Hook]
Stu on another lie, Now I’m out another hundred
What’s he’s doing? Hidin’ money
What’s he’s doing? Hidin’ money
What I’m doing? Waitin’ on em
But he’s got lacrosse
Sports Bang is the company
And Weiner’s the boss
 
And I be buntin’ like I’m Billy
Buntin’ like I’m Billy
Buntin’ like I’m Billy
I be buntin’ like I’m Billy
I'm the, young Bunter
Buntin’ like I’m Billy
Buntin’ like I’m Billy
I be buntin’ like I’m Billy
 
 
[Verse]
Here's the thing, Roy hates it when I say
Can't start a single sentence without rambling for days
 And I’m, I’m standin’ by, Opening day
Tried to call a big fly but Dan swallowed my play
I gotta eat, yea eating like I’m eight
And on my birthday Donny T-Ball came to hate/
I ran track, if ya mans wanna race
I’mma run around and put Amin’s shame on the cable/
Paws Up!, and let me say
Where I’m from we see an Afilador every day
What’s that sound? Mike is back it
Throw a demon at me, I throw an angel back at em
And I’m Pipo, Miami Fanatic 
If I had that same boat, I could have paddled the Atlantic/
I got receipts, Dan you never know
They may come an audit taxes, I’m a psycho with a neuros(is)...
 
 
[Hook]
Stu on another lie, Now I’m out another hundred
What’s he’s doing? Hidin’ money
What’s he’s doing? Hidin’ money
What I’m doing? Waitin’ on em
But he’s got lacrosse
Sports Bang is the company
And Weiner’s the boss
 
And I be buntin’ like I’m Billy
Buntin’ like I’m Billy
Buntin’ like I’m Billy
I be buntin’ like I’m Billy
I'm the, young Bunter
Buntin’ like I’m Billy
Buntin’ like I’m Billy
I be buntin’ like I’m Billy

Suey Dan Lebatard

Buntin' Like I'm Billy [Gil] - (Stuntin Like My Daddy Parody)

Yeti Blanc, Fleminem & I were asked to contribute to the "long version" of the stat of the day; a massive segment for the final episode of the Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz that aired on ESPN Radio. 

This is what we came up with. Enjoy!

STAT OF THE DAY (The Long Version)

A tribute to our favorite singing sportswriter, Greg Cote, and his endless pursuit to return to the joys of ye olden times gone by.

Lyrics:
For Dan, it’s never clear
Am I prepared? It’s never certain
And now, the end is near
Every breath, could be my final curtain
I know, I promised more,
But It’s hard to bring one every Tuesday

I’m Greg, and that’s how it was
Back in my day

And yes, I've done a few
But as of late, too few to mention
I did road trips and cartoons
Potato Chips and Sandwiches
And disappearing cars
That once sailed down open highways

Yes, I’m Greg, and that’s how it was
Back in my day

I did Simpler Times and Vaping for you!
I covered Fortnight! Gift wrapping, too!
I did my best work, when there was doubt!
Take your fancy soap, and throw it out!
Again, I’m Greg and that’s how it was
Back in My Day
I've loved, laughed and cried
Over receipts, the primeval times we’re losing
And now, as tears subside
I still find myself quite amusing
Food Trucks! I’ve done it all!
I’m still doing Commerce, the old school way!

Because I’m Greg, and that’s how it was
Back in my day!

Oh, now what more? What more could Dan want?
I’ve done Vending machines! Hotel Robots!
To Nanna’s Cookbooks, I will appeal
I like the way, my dumb Mattress feels!
Yes, I am Greg and that’s how it was
Back in my day!

Yes, back in my day!

Back In My_Day

To the tune of "YMCA" by the Village People.



Lyrics:
-------------------------

Sunday!

What we’ve all waited for, is this

Sunday!

Handing out the awards here on

Sunday!

In an ill-fitting suit will be 

Greg-o-ry Paul Co-te


That’s when

You’ll turn on the livestream to stare

Blankly

At Greg giving a speech

You aren’t even

In this fantasy league

But you still. won’t. want. to. miss. it...


The annual gala for

PFPI

Let’s have a party for

PFPI


Cheap mimosas be damned

This thing’s still in-demand

You should cancel all other plans


It’s the tradition of 

PFPI

Pro Football Predictions Incorporated


Oh, you have to be there

And pretend that you care

Or your bound to get a death glare

PFPI (featuring Yeti Blanc)

- Incredibly niche song parodies
- 2x Suey Award Winner for Best Musical Performance
- Songsmith for Because Miami

STAT OF THE DAY (The Long Version)

andrewstreeter