Excited to see yu master and grow, This is saucy ❤️‍🔥

dusk to dawn
ive been falling with no end
another night ive been caught second guessing
features blurred i cant seem to comprehend
laying in the street
now these walls are a blessing
days pass, nothing changes, its a blur
i live out the same day
endlessly it turns
i make all the same mistakes
i can never learn
we all hit the same grave
buried in the dirt

sinking down
i fall in a familiar frown
standing out
i cower in
with darkness bound

total shade to blinding light
its not a remedy
breaking points i hit
wont skip a beat
in lacking everything
volatile mind
i feel it crumble right from under me
branded on my back
could never get behind the make believe

its a toxic fucking train of thought
guess i saw that i can pull it off
watch my face melt
into fractals overhead
its a new feeling
like time will never end
i got days wasted
a thousand in my belt
see it from a mile away
the poison, yeah i felt it
this shit holds no price to me
i could never sell it
i see how they lie to me
fantasies so desperate

sinking down
i fall in a familiar frown
standing out
i cower in
with darkness bound

total shade to blinding light
its not a remedy
breaking points i hit
wont skip a beat
in lacking everything
volatile mind
i feel it crumble right from under me
branded on my back
could never get behind the make believe

nothingwillcompare

turned 22 today, here's a song

produced by stonesowavy

mastered by @sastrp

LYRICS:

let me in let me out

tell me what you know
bout your life the shit u hide and tell me what u owe
forget about the time i got it start right from the go
lemme know your fears the trauma buried deep below
tell me bout the time u didn’t have a place a home
tell me bout the desperation of being alone
moving day to day where every day was seeming slow
every time the outcome of events was still unknown 
it’s unknown where we at
no time to react
speculation mixed with fact and the fad of attention in remission
cause it’s not about you and it never was
and it’s not about me that’s what troubles us
expecting compensation for a life that seems mistaken
and receiving nothing but impatience conflict illness degradation
seems unfair all this monotony performed with calculation 
comparing hatred
constantly racing
wonder what’s the purpose of the pain
dream of peace a stable life consistent pay
don’t ask for too much only take the things u need
tell me how you heal and how you bleed

can i tell you what i know
bout my life the shit i hide and what i owe
hope you got the time cause imma start right from the go 
i got a lot of fear and trauma buried deep below
i got a couple diagnoses probably a couple more they haven’t found yet
but the symptoms are apparent and the treatment done is negligent 
i’m stubborn almost arrogant in my ability to counter obstacles it’s evident
that i would benefit from therapy if i just fucking went
but i can’t even dial numbers start the journey of salvation
once my halo dusty now it’s broken down to yo sediment
i said i wanna change the world
she said that i can’t make that promise
i told her that i need approval
she said i might be a narcissist
cause i’m so focused on myself in such a troubling way
i can recognize the rot but i still let it decay
doing the bare minimum so i can get through the day
but i’m still desperate for some clapping hands to say it’s okay 
cause just the thought of doing what is right is not enough if i don’t actually do it
i want diplomas houses i blew it 
why does life feel claustrophobic when i just got on my feet
can i tell you how i heal and how i bleed

let me in let me out

i simply can’t believe in over sharing
given proper context humans tend to love comparing
situations lived and coping methods revel baring
honest nature of existence and precisely planning
what to filter rummage memories depression or your BPD
and anything that’s troubling the most open that you’ll ever be
but only let out what’s acceptable the limit of your history
is undefined when you first meet somebody you can vaguely see
being in your life extended time bond through little things
like breakups high school bullies neurons firing
to find the sweet spot not too overbearing sort of comforting
to know you’re not alone in this eventually the dam will break
testing the relationship by showing what is underneath
standing at a checkpoint in the bond you built so carefully
started off with how your parents were divorcing
to how you know the makeup that can help to cover bruising 
buzzwords key components of a conversation hold em in their mouth and let them out
when necessity to shows up 
know i’m here for you i care but question if they do believe that
in their head are they judgmental bout a controversial past

and maybe i’m just nosy bout your life
not always my business do or die
imma tell you something bout me
this is how i heal and how i bleed

let me in [prod. stonesowavy]

prod. @nciku

(non-profit song)

ty @safehavendot for the video :)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=snV300IEObo

lyrics:
(chorus)
anxious i'm so anxious
lonely i'm so lonely
anxious i'm so anxious
lonely i'm so lonely

(verse)
walking these roads
follow my goals mental 
like a freight train
lose track of the time
i thought our minds was suppose to
work with us not against us (yeah)
constantly battling these thoughts (ya)
got family and friends that care
so why do i feel so lonely

anxious (nciku)

(non-profit song)

lyrics:
i'm alone and i know that
recording songs on my AT2035
will i make it out alive i don't know
too many thoughts inside my mind
they won't let me rest
and i've tried my best 
and i've tried my best
and i know i'll never
be enough for anyone
not even myself 

not even myself 
ayy not even myself
and i'm running away
from my thoughts everyday
but i know i can't escape so

rest. (mackk)

hey
old track from 2021/22
the goat @cherryrizla featuring
prod. @nevrfall
enjoy <3

lyrics:
i just cant wait until
i can come down 
and finally stop melting
i
i drive away from my
home in the hopes
that you’ll see me as something 

feeling a pain in my shoulder
stopping the car to pull over 
losing myself as im older
finding myself now its over

i sit alone in a sea of the blood of my past lives
all nine died
dont wanna find out if i cried
do it again by the sunrise
torture, im living this torture
and nothing will come of it
i just get high for the fun of it
i cannot feel i am numb again
nothin ever does it like you do

i
i just cant wait until
i can come down 
and finally stop melting
i
i drive away from my
home in the hopes
that you’ll see me as something 

feeling a pain in my shoulder
stopping the car to pull over 
losing my breath as i feel it
nothing is sweeter than closure

melting w/ cherryrizla (2022) [nevrfall]

lyrics:

mention
oh you never seem to mention
i can feel the added tension between us
its feeding on shit that i say
it ruined my day

oh, mention
i think that i forgot to mention
i’ve been feeling like an asshole of late and
i never mean to say what i say
im trying to change

i’m trying to
break down on a side street
i’m finding my footing
while the ground’s disappearing

im feeling the bricks as i fall down
erasing a chance of a thought now
maybe i should speak

decision
i gotta make a damn decision
i know u miss how it was written between us
its doesnt have to stay this way
im willing to change

indecision
im struggling with indecision
the lights have never been so dim when between us
i’ll never try to make
you stay

im trying to
break down on a side street
im finding my footing
while the ground’s disappearing

im feeling the bricks as i fall down
erasing a chance of a thought now
maybe i should speak

---

im feeling the bricks as i fall down
erasing a chance of a thought now
maybe i should speak
up for myself now
i’d much rather just see myself out
maybe i should speak

Credit

seejay stinks and sent the open to too many people so here's the other version

seejayxo x kenny orlando - "moonlight" LEAK

inside a gate that no one can trespass
and I don't think anyone could get that
i just want some true love yeah I miss that
but everyone just wants to play tricks man

and i don't feel any gain or satisfaction
cus nothing anymore worth the reaction
i tell myself I've moved on from past actions
but I wish I could bring myself back then

i'm spending life like an NPC
it's not a joke I feel it's literally
and all these thoughts feel like it's bittersweet
and you know what I'm bout to turn 19

and i'm still thinking bout who I might be
i feel prevented from society
and that darkness is always biting me
even tho they act so kind to me

you gotta wonder why they're so blind to see
at least another drop, do they lie to me?
and I really just want my own privacy
it's not like anyone tells me "how's your day?"

try to cleanse my mind going on a walk
so I decide to go another few blocks
but when your only hope tells you to stop
You gotta wonder what is right or not :(

and every day I just want to be free roam
pack myself in styrofoam
i want to explore the world and wonder where it goes
staring at a globe
wanna feel comfortable
in my own home but I'm always alone

and no!
i don't wanna tell you where the fuck I go because it's been too long
i've been trapped in songs cus it's my only form of communication
celebration goes on near my friends
and I can't be with them cus the fucking distance
it's on the wishlist to never feel like
everything's just all forbidden

but I guess i'm protected from the bullshit
people don't relate but they clueless
i just wish my life had a blueprint
But it's my fucking life i can't choose it

isolated. (vbe)

(prod. malloy x jkei)
feat @notaheroo

early morning
hear the birds sing
in bed stalling 
its so cold outside x2

staring at my ceiling
6am dawn is coming
i was awake all night
fighting my demons on sight
codeine got me tripping
i remember this feeling
addictive to the sedatives
in pain so i need this 

early morning
hear the birds sing
in bed stalling 
its so cold outside x2

im not used to being sober
was fed my pills
i was drinking till the sun up
i didnt know whats real
but now its over
i didnt know my love
its all my fault coz
its my own grave i dig

early morning
hear the birds sing
in bed stalling 
its so cold outside x2

(notahero)
just warm me up cuz ur my heater
n i don’t got nothing except the music from my speakers
this fireball burning i need something little sweeter
would u keep me alive or will u turn me to a tweaker
diamonds in her eyes just like the ones i put on my belt
i pray that you’ll still love my heart after all the ice melts
i fucked up way to much to put the blame on someone else
but this shit made me tho
she said i’m acting like a child said u crazy hoe
there’s nothing child-like bout me pushing up daisies hoe
i swear to God that when i’m dead 
that’s the only time i’ll be able to get fuckin rest
maybe i should go to bed
i think imma work instead
pressure breaking down
feel like needles in my fucking head
i just wanna have a good time n u know this
i feel the energy just disturbing my solace

sedatives (w/ notahero) (malloy x jkei)

before ft. not_yoki (prod. not_yoki)

forget it (discent)

19 year old

i put deleted songs or covers @angelarchive07 :)

rest. (mackk)

angelsofsorrows

Recent comments

$avage

KID Benzo☆

halfhearted

nope

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