the girl that broke me had the same name....

this is beautiful... dark, edgy and completely arresting.

Been listening for 4 years this is so good It reminds me of when I used to sneak out and meet up with this older girl she was a senior and I was a freshie

REC...RECONNECT...RECONN....................................

I Dreamt a Dream! what can it mean?
And that I was a maiden Queen:
Guarded by an Angel mild:
Witless woe, was ne'er beguil'd!

And I wept both night and day
And he wip'd my tears away
And I wept both day and night
And hid from him my heart’s delight

So he took his wings and fled:
Then the morn blush'd rosy red:
I dried my tears & armed my fears,
With ten thousand shields and spears.

Soon my Angel came again;
I was arm'd, he came in vain:
For the time of youth was fled,
And grey hairs were on my head.

———————————-
My melody to Blake’s words 
Instrumental and recording by Phil Marcs
————————
I see this as a kind of warning to seize the moment for something that seems important, and not let our fears persuade us to put it off for another time that may not return. However, there is more…

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Angel_(Songs_of_Experience)
Blake has had a distinct fascination with angels from a young age, as when he was around nine years old and walking through the countryside, he had a vision of a tree filled with angels...

Joseph Wicksteed interprets the poem as the angel initially representing a comforting presence that nourishes sadness. The speaker clings to this comfort, hiding her deeper desires behind the vale of tears. However, when the angel leaves due to the lack of genuine reciprocation, she is left feeling betrayed. Wicksteed defines this shift from sorrow to bitterness as a missed opportunity for authentic love, where both sadness and anger replace the deeper, emotional truth, and a moment where the two share a real connection is lost.

S. Foster Damon particularly focuses on the angel's symbolic role as a messenger from Eternity, or from the inner self. He states that angels in Blake's work are often connected to one's that are guiding virtue or inner force. This perspective makes the angel represent the speaker's better self or an inner calling she initially resists. When she eventually embraces the hardened identity and armor against emotion, the angel returns but finds the figure to be changed and emotionally closed. This someone is no longer able to receive the spiritual message or guidance it brings.

The Angel - William Blake (in song)

still feel the pain <//3
.
.
this aint what i want
this aint what i want
bitches wanna fuck
they dont wanna talk
i be gettin drunk
i be fucked up
this aint really love
yeah i had enough
i be rollin up that gas yeah
thinking bout u and my past yeah
who u wit
i wont ask that
and the pain always last yeah

sniffin powder yeah she fell in love
she only love me when she off the drugs
only miss her when im off a bus
we go together like a double cup
switchin lanes 
i still feel the pain
spending money
i still feel the pain
fuckin hoes
i still feel the pain
when im wit u 
im alive again
.
jay roll

think i fell in love
man i fell in love
being around u i cant get enough
wish u were wit me
girl i feen ur touch
ur eyes on my arm
yeah u mean that much
put me on anime
now i got a heart like tatsumi
speeding on the highway
bumping hereditary 
mysterious talks 
all the walks
playin one on one
yeah u know i cant do that with anyone
saying u aint shit
well me either
never wanna see our bond ever sever
u a gem in my eyes
i die to have u by my side
ur the one to make a trap nigga feel something inside
dont fall off
dont get lost
never wanna fall apart
ur a drug
i get that high just being with u 
ur my drug
i get that high just being with u yeah

-damiyen aka yung my name is emo fruits now

still feel the pain w/ jay roll (prod. XANAX PROD)

whenever u want

everything by antstat.
made in my bedroom, on and off, throughout fall of 2018.
hope you enjoy.

i got high and jumped out a window

put me in the trash
in the trash
in the trash
in the trash
like broken glass
i aint worth shit
it aint worth it

u know im dying fast
dying fast
dying fast
dying fast
so make it last
cuz im hurtin
this aint fuckin workin

8 balls
in bathroom stalls
been high all day
since fuckin fall
i had it all
till i want and lost it
i don't mind tho cuz im off it

so give me alcohol
adderal
ill take it all
ill take it all
until i fall
till my fuckin life's gone
i swear my fuckin life wrong, yea

emo fruits:
she only want me for the night
for the night
sayin you don't love me now
i think you might
i think i got you figured out
and it's alright
this might be my last pill if i close my eyes

i be getting numb enough
slow breaking down
you don't get love enough
u don't know how
saw u in the club tonight
im in the back
off a couple drugs tonight
im seein black, yea

put me in the trash w/ emo fruits (prod zxphxr)

I don’t wanna live like this anymore 
take a bottle of pills & I’m out on the floor.
Too many times And I'll take the blame
So I’m fucked in the head,
Put a gun to my brain.

Don’t worry about me I’ll be fine
I’ve got thoughts of suicide on my mind 
I want it to end
There is no friend 
who gives a shit

Nobody cares until your dead
And even then they all pretend 
pretend to care,
They’re not really there
No no no

Last year in March
I was in pain
I wanted to die,
Jumped in front of a train

It was only a dream,
So when I woke up,
climbed up to the bridge
Tried to throw myself off

I cried for days,
I was in pain
I felt selfish
With No one to blame

But myself 
I’m always on my own
I’m always alone
And When I get in the zone

I close myself off,
Cut people off,
Cut em off like I do
Cause if they only knew 

What goes on in my head
I’m Better off dead
Like I’ve already said 
God I wish I was dead

Thoughts Of $uicide - ANTIVST (Prod.Raspo)

It's worth feeling empty (Slowed) 6 Dogs

LIL DNNY X LIL CX EVERYBODY HATING LATELY

daniel silver - looking out (prod. farber)

I'd walk the water
Carry the fire
I'd risk it all to take away your pain

I love your smile
And no one has your style
That's why I see you in every girl that looks my way

Just know that I'm sorry
I hope you don't forget me
Things are getting harder
But I wanted you to stay

I know that you're angry
And I'm lost in the bottle
Just know that I'm trying
Hope that this will go away

I still smell your perfume
I've still got you tattooed
Ink in my skin
To match your mark on my heart

And babe I must be dreaming
If I lose you I'm screaming
I want the world to know
That I love you Victoria

Victoria (prod.sketchmyname)

Midnight

dont cal me anymore pt.2

mistreated teen

Creep - Radiohead Cover

cuts n scars ft ghostfreak (5head)

20, Listen with headphones for quality  <3
follow me on instagram @Antivst 
for more music updates +
(not doing collabs/feats rn)

Victoria (prod.sketchmyname)

antivst

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