unknxwn.

this what my songs sound like before i actually record them

rough drafts

Unknxwn. is simply the beat music artist to exist.

UNKNXWN

IWBMBO. (rough)

dormant. (Rough)

choose life. (rough)

shiver. (rough)

a message. (rough)

Produced by NIGHT DRESS

This song reflects my deep struggle with vulnerability, creative pressure, and the fear of letting others see my pain. It also captures the complexity of balancing gratitude for my blessings with the lingering weight of unresolved emotions. From a faith-based perspective, this song could be reframed to focus on how God is helping me navigate these emotions and redefine my identity, not as someone who hides pain but as someone who finds strength and healing in Him.

The Fear of Vulnerability:

“I know that you want me to talk but that’s not who I am.”

This line reflects a struggle to be open with others about my pain. The Bible reminds us that vulnerability can be a strength, especially when shared with God or trusted individuals.

“Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way, you will fulfill the law of Christ.” (Galatians 6:2)

Creative Doubt and Identity:

“I feel like everything I make is lame and fucking gross.”

This lyric speaks to the weight of self-doubt in my creative process. God has given me talents and they can be used for His glory, even when you feel inadequate.

“For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.” (Ephesians 2:10)

Balancing Gratitude with Pain:

“I’ve been fucking blessed and I don’t wanna seem ungrateful.”

This tension between acknowledging blessings and feeling pain is a common struggle. God understands your emotions and invites you to bring them to Him without fear of judgment.

“Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.” (1 Peter 5:7)

The Desire for Release:

“Like a bird inside a cage is how I feel when I can’t say.”

This imagery highlights the importance of release and expression. God offers freedom from emotional bondage and gives us the courage to express ourselves honestly and healthily.

“The Spirit of the Lord is on me… to set the oppressed free.” (Luke 4:18)

Lyrics

I used to make a song in 40 minutes, then I'd post
And now it takes me weeks to even finish what I wrote
And then it takes me months to build the courage just to post
I feel like everything I make is lame and fucking gross

I'm sorry I don't scream as much, it's not because I changed
I'm scared to show the ones I love that I'm still feeling pain
Cause I've been fucking blessed and I don't wanna seem ungrateful
And I built up so much I can't afford to be unstable

But I still have a lot of hate inside I'm scared to show
It was easier before, I was the only one who'd know
And now I have to hide it when I feel it
But the hiding never works because I know that you can feel it

So please, I know that you want me to talk but that's not who I am
You want me to be real? Music's the only way I can
So please don't get offended when I say something offensive
That was not what I intended, I'm just tryna clear my mental

Like a bird inside a cage is how I feel when I can't say
What I need and what I want, hurting you is not what I want
So please don't take it personal, when I open up so surgical
Don't hurt me, I'm showing you something

i know that you want me to talk but that's not who i am.

Produced by flower x luffysome

This song vividly captures a deep emotional struggle, showcasing themes of unrequited love, toxic cycles, self-doubt, and the internal conflict between seeking healing and clinging to pain. At its core, it reflects a longing for purpose and worth, yet it’s tied to someone else’s love and approval—a perspective that can leave one feeling perpetually empty.

Healing Through Truth, Not Cycles:

“I tell myself that these songs make me heal but this music the reason I’m toxic.”

This lyric reflects the tension between using music as a release and feeling trapped by it. True healing comes from Christ, who transforms pain into purpose.

“He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.” (Psalm 147:3)

Misplaced Purpose and Worth:

“Girl loving you is my purpose / If I ain’t with you, I’m worthless.”

This sentiment highlights a misplaced dependency on others for worth. God offers a love that is unwavering and defines your true identity.

“I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with unfailing kindness.” (Jeremiah 31:3)

Breaking Toxic Cycles:

“Stuck in a cycle, I love it.”

This acknowledgment of being caught in a harmful loop mirrors the human struggle with sin and destructive patterns. Freedom comes through surrendering those cycles to God.

“So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed.” (John 8:36)

Burden and Redemption:

“Sorry, I know I’m a burden.”

Though it feels isolating, Jesus invites us to cast our burdens on Him. You are not a burden to God; you are loved and valued.

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” (Matthew 11:28)

Lyrics

What I don't, need to do more, what I do, need to do less
I guess I'm just clueless, I'm just stupid, love like cupid, I never had it, I won't get through this
I'll never heal, don't deserve it, I seem alright on the surface
Wait till you see what I surface from all of this pain, I'm hurting

I don't care what you do, you're perfect, girl loving you is my purpose
If I ain't with you, I'm worthless, I can't change my mind, I'm certain
Sorry, I know I'm a burden, flew too close to the sun, I'm burning
And I lost that girl but I'm searching, this ain't a page that I'm turning

This ain't a lesson I'm learning, stuck in a cycle, I love it
Said I was healing, I wasn't, they say time heals wounds but it doesn't
It only makes you forget and honestly that ain't worth shit
Cause I still feel all the effects, I just forgot what caused it

Don't have a heart anymore, gave it to her but she lost it
I tell myself that these songs make me heal but this music the reason I'm toxic
I'm in pain, need to stop it and I don't see any options
What I'm sleeping in bed for? Wanna sleep in a coffin

What I don't, need to do more, what I do, need to do less
I guess I'm just clueless, I'm just stupid, love like cupid, I never had it, I won't get through this
I'll never heal, don't deserve it, I seem alright on the surface
Wait till you see what I surface from all of this pain, I'm hurting

I don't care what you do, you're perfect, girl loving you is my purpose
If I ain't with you, I'm worthless, I can't change my mind, I'm certain
Sorry, I know I'm a burden, flew too close to the sun, I'm burning
And I lost that girl but I'm searching, this ain't a page that I'm turning

i tell myself that these songs make me heal but this music the reason I'm toxic.

Produced by fowni x luffysome

This song is another deeply personal reflection, revealing themes of betrayal, regret, loneliness, and a longing for love. It carries an intense emotional weight and expresses the pain of broken relationships, self-inflicted wounds, and a desire for redemption. From a faith-based perspective, this song can serve as a powerful testimony of transformation, showing the contrast between living for oneself and finding hope and healing in God.

Trusting Others vs. Trusting God:

“Putting my trust into someone and thinking they’ll help me but really get stabbed in the back.”

This reflects the pain of misplaced trust in people who I allowed to let me down. The Bible reminds us to place our ultimate trust in God, who never fails.

“It is better to take refuge in the Lord than to trust in humans.” (Psalm 118:8)

This doesn’t mean you shouldn’t trust others but rather that your foundation should be built on God, who provides security and hope even when others fail.

Self-Destruction and Redemption:

“Miss the old me, was happy on drugs, I been lonely, just wanna feel love.”

This line acknowledges the fleeting comfort of substances and the deeper void they leave behind. True peace and love can only be found in a relationship with Christ.

“Do not get drunk on wine, which leads to debauchery. Instead, be filled with the Spirit.” (Ephesians 5:18)

Regret and Ownership of the Past:

“I knew what I was doing was wrong and I just didn’t care, that’s a fact.”

This honest acknowledgment of past selfishness and wrongdoing is a critical step toward healing and growth. The Bible calls this repentance, and it’s the path to God’s forgiveness.

“If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.” (1 John 1:9)

Lyrics

Every time I wake up I wish that I didn't wake up
Wish I could feel her love but I don't deserve her love
Feel like 2019 unknxwn. cause I know that I won't be enough
How the fuck do you think that you know me?
You just know what I got in my cup

Miss the old me, was happy on drugs, I been lonely, just wanna feel love
I was broke so I ran up some bands, why the fuck do I still feel alone?
And I'm sorry to all of my friends that I made wanna leave me alone
I just wish I could tell you thank you, helped me more than you ever could know

What I lost I won't ever get back, it's my fault so I'll leave it at that
I knew what I was doing was wrong and I just didn't care, that's a fact
I ain't care about nobody else, all I cared about then was myself
And I'm honestly still a bit selfish but I'm only like that for my health

I ain't finna go break my back for a bitch that won't ever care about that
I ain't finna go reach my hand out tryna save someone that wouldn't reach back
I ain't finna go waste my time opening up and getting attached
Putting my trust into someone and thinking they'll help me but really get stabbed in the back

Bitch, don't text me, don't wanna chat
Bitch, don't test me, I'll fucking snap
Where my heart should be there is a gap
Cause I gave it to her and she didn't give it back

Okay, she did but that shit turned to ash
So what if she did? Man, that shit wouldn't last
Cause she's all that I need
So I can't let her leave

No, I can't let her go, wish you'd call but I know you won't
I just wish I could let you know when I say "I hate you" just know I don't
I don't even know who I am, am I detmer or garrett or ken?
But I know who I need and they'll never come back again

Every time I wake up I wish that I didn't wake up
Wish I could feel her love but I don't deserve her love
Feel like 2019 unknxwn. cause I know that I won't be enough
How the fuck do you think that you know me?
You just know what I got in my cup

put my trust into someone thinking they'll help me but really get stabbed in the back.

Produced by kledyy

This song carries a deep emotional weight, capturing themes of identity, longing, self-conflict, and inner turmoil. It’s a powerful piece but it’s important to note that it represents a past version of myself that was caught in double-mindedness and seeking validation through relationships, identities, and external recognition.

The lyrics reveal a struggle with self-identity and fractured personas. I express the pain of trying to reconcile different parts of myself—Ken, Detmer, Garrett, Qayin, and unknxwn.—and the longing for someone’s love and acceptance.

From a faith perspective, this could serve as a testimony of how God’s love has provided me with the wholeness and purpose I was searching for through those identities.

Identity:

“Ken is my name but I’m not who he is” reflects the disconnect you felt from your true self.

Biblical truth:

God created you with purpose, and your identity is ultimately rooted in Him.

“I have called you by name; you are mine.” (Isaiah 43:1)

Love and Longing:

“Wish you would tell me you love me, you won’t” expresses a deep yearning for love and acceptance.

Biblical truth: 

God’s love is unconditional and fills the void that no human relationship can.

“The Lord appeared to us in the past, saying: ‘I have loved you with an everlasting love.’” (Jeremiah 31:3)

Inner Conflict:

“Garrett told Detmer to unhand me” and “I’m not alive, I’m an echo” capture the battle between the parts of yourself and a sense of emptiness.

Biblical truth:

True peace comes from surrendering all parts of yourself to God.

“A double-minded man is unstable in all his ways.” (James 1:8)

Lyrics

Wish you would tell me you love me, you won't
You won't say that till the day that I die
I really wish I was who you'd want
You're in my heart but I'm out of my mind

They hear this shit and they think that I'm...
Can't even say what they thinking
I'm the only that could ever understand me
Garrett told Detmer to unhand me

I'm in a place that I can't leave
Wish that I was but I can't be who that girl want
Why can't she see?
Everything that she did, does, will mean to me

I need her bad, I can't let go
Gave her my heart but where that go?
I'm not alive, I'm an echo
I got unlimited songs like eckō

Why you leave me on my own?
I need you more than I need my own breath in my body
Cause what is it worth
If you're not the one that I'm spending it on?

Ken, detmer, garrett, qayin, unknxwn.
They came to save me when I was alone
Nobody else did, nobody else will
Nobody on earth will know the pain I feel

Guess I'll explain it again, Ken is my name but I'm not who he is
Detmer is all of the things that he hid, Garrett just wanna make peace and amend
Qayin don't really care who he is, he gone be cool with whoever he with
unknxwn. is an alias we only use it when tryna be confident but we be faking it

Don't call me crazy, I'm not, I make sense to myself and that's all that I got
Cause what's it all matter if what really matters to me is not what I say I believe?
So find out what matters to you & don't ever let it be moved
And don't ever let it get lost, cause you only get one and that's all

Wish you would tell me you love me, you won't
You won't say that till the day that I die
I really wish I was who you'd want
You're in my heart but I'm out of my mind

They hear this shit and they think that I'm...
Can't even say what they thinking
I'm the only that could ever understand me
Garrett told Detmer to unhand me

I'm in a place that I can't leave
Wish that I was but I can't be who that girl want
Why can't she see?
Everything that she did, does, will mean to me

I need her bad, I can't let go
Gave her my heart but where that go?
I'm not alive, I'm an echo
I got unlimited songs like eckō

ken is my name but I'm not who he is.

Produced by GAXILLIC & DreamUnion

Lyrics

I know what I did, please don't rub it in
I'm already beating myself up over it 
And I don't need you telling me what I already told myself
Couldn't care about you hating me, I loathe myself

I tired asking God to forgive what I did
I hurt so many people but that was not my intent
I was tryna heal my mind with a heart that was hurt
I would lie, lie, lie just to feel like I was worth

I wanna die, die, die, put my body in a hearse
I don't know why I feel I'm only getting worse
I can't get no better, fuck this, my head hurts
Won't wash that sweater, I can still smell her

You're not here and you won't be back
I'm so stressed and I can't relax
I send text's but you won't read that
You're the one that got away but I'm just your ex

I needed you but you didn't need me
You never told me that you were leaving
Girl I told you I'd be there for you
Told me I wasn't enough for you

I never know what to do and I'll never know what I did
All of the love that I want is in you but all of the love that you give is to him
What in the fuck did I do wrong? Baby just let me fix it
If we're not meant to be together then this ain't a life worth living

you're the one that got away but i'm just your ex.

@prodreaper

Art by Beka Nicole

Lyrics

Everyday I wake up same old shit
Same life same thoughts same all black fit
Mom disappointed with the same damn kid
Still broke still sad still real feelings hid

I aint got a job Ima be a fucking bum
Still broke still sad still living with my mom
In the same damn house in the same damn room
With the same damn mind and the same damn veiw

Hate it that I have created this world that I'm in
And I cannot erase it 
Yeah I make music but that's fucking basic
I just wish that I could make myself face it

I'm in despair hmu when I'm not
There aint no pill to fix what I have got
But that smoke chill me out when I am feelin' hot
So I dont give a fuck if my brain gonna rot

Broke is expensive and I cant afford
unknxwn. aint the person that you should adore
Everynight when I write I just fall to the floor
Then the carpet just soaks up my tears even more

I'm a sad piece of shit
I aint gone never gone get me a bitch
I aint gone never gone feel any bliss
If I took my life I dont think I'd be missed

We all been raised to think money is real
To the point where people would even kill
Aint gonna lie to be honest I will
Hate seein' mail and all of it is bills

I'm in despair hmu when I'm not
There aint no pill to fix what I have got
But that smoke chill me out when I am feelin' hot
So I dont give a fuck if my brain gonna rot

unknxwn. - Despair

I'm too busy in despair.

spotify.

i'm too busy in despair: part 1 | Produced by reaper

@rxdlxst

Lyrics

Why do I beg for your love when I'm feelin' depressed when I know that it's only a lie
Why do I fight to keep livin' this world is a mess and I think that it's better to die
Why do I keep writing songs that are so hard to finish that reflect the pain that I try
To hide from the people that care for me most, I know when I pass they're the ones that'll cry

I cannot cope with the fact that I'll never be good enough for anyone to be pleased
I'm always left in the past and they don't even hesitate, I am forgotten with ease
Autumn has fallen and so has my heart, the spark that I had is now dead like the leaves
Don't waste your time on unknxwn. cause he'll never amount to the one that you want him to be

All black, bucket hat, white shoes, heart bruised
Hopes up, nevermind, bummed out, defuse
All black, bucket hat, white shoes, heart bruised
Hopes up, nevermind, bummed out, defuse

I'm the emboiment of all the problems that ruin your life when it's too hard to solve em
I am the reason you break down in tears when the one that you love hits decline when you call em
I am the small little push that'll get you to fall when you're already stuck on the edge
I am the shovel that's already dug out your grave and just waiting for you to be dead

unknxwn. - defuse

defuse.

defuse. | Produced by rxdlxst

Art by: @grimapparition

Lyrics

I don't understand why I feel the way I feel
Just to not be sad I be taking fucking pills
Soundin' like a bum but the shit I say too real
Flowin' with emotion you don't know cause I conceal
I do it too well, and honestly its sad
Coming off as golden when I feel like fucking trash
Every bridge I had is now nothing but the ash
Fuck I'm holding back too much I'm about to fucking crash

Sit back I'm about to make you fucking wish that
You never gave me all the fucking pain I'm bouta give back
Kick back smokin' on some shit that make you trip back
Slip back into the abyss I made with this track
Flick that lighter back up on the blunt I kiss that
I don't even rap, I just steady fucking spit facts
Tic tac toe I X you out you needa get back
Everything in every line just make em wanna skip back

Write fast you try keeping up then you just write trash
I fuck up a type beat you just it make it type bad
Might add, do this on my own I got no right hand
I stopped wishing that I could, now I fucking know I can
Slow down, you cant catch the flow now
Wrote down, turn it into dope sound
Hope now, I cant fucking slow down
Broke now, not for long no doubt

I don't understand why I feel the way I feel
Just to not be sad I be taking fucking pills
Soundin' like a bum but the shit I say too real
Flowin' with emotion you don't know cause I conceal
I do it too well, and honestly its sad
Coming off as golden when I feel like fucking trash
Every bridge I had now is nothing but the ash
Fuck I'm holding back too much I'm about to fucking crash

Sit back I'm about to make you fucking wish that
You never gave me all the fucking pain I'm bouta give back
Kick back smokin' on some shit that make you trip back
Slip back into the abyss I made with this track
Flick that lighter back up on the blunt I kiss that
I don't even rap, I just steady fucking spit facts
Tic tac toe I X you out you needa get back
Everything in every line just make em wanna skip back

unknxwn. - ashes

ashes.

ashes. | Produced by Zølenya

@prodreaper

Lyrics

Honestly havent had happiness happening hollow inside of my mind
Its hard not to hate everything when its all that you feel and its all you can find
Don't hold your breath waiting for me to save you, I'm too far away from divine
We can talk or whatever but dont catch no feelings cause thats where I'm drawin' the line

I don't mean to sound like a bitch but thats just how I feel and I'm not gonna change
I learned if don't let your heart get involved when they leave you won't feel any pain
Don't get upset about losing me, from the start there was nothing to gain
Is the shit that I feel even real or just chemicals making their way through my brain

Frozen I'm cold, broken to bone
Everyone left, now I'm alone
I don't think anybody really cared
Cause when I went ghost no one hit up my phone

I haven't left my room for months
Sneaking and smoking on broken blunts
Why do I feel like all hope is up
Why am I wishin' on broken luck

Avoiding my dreams, so I'm staying up late, I seen the night turn to morning
Avoiding all people, don't wanna go out, everything too fucking boring
Drownin' my issues when they come to shore, with all the poison I'm pouring
Leaving no space for nobody to love, with all the shit that I'm storing

unknxwn. - dark light

dark light.

dark light. | Produced by reaper

@hatefulbeats

Lyrics

How in the fuck did I manage to lose every person I spent all my time with
Tryna create a connection thats stronger than time and that could be considered as timeless
It hurts even more cause I'm still tryna figure out where in the hell it went wrong
I don't wanna talk about how much it hurts to a person so I take it out on a song

I take it out on myself, I take it out on my physical and mental health
I fucking hate what I felt, I'm getting worse and I don't even think you can tell
I make myself wanna quit, filling my mind with a person I need to forget
Honestly I'm fucking pissed, I can't see the future but I never thought it'd be this

I don't really wanna try meeting new friends
I don't wanna waste my time on something that'll end
What the fuck is happy? I can only pretend
Leaving it to God in itself is a sin
You're the only person with the power in your life
That can change for the better with the state that you're in
You're the only person that can give your life a purpose on this earth
And make it all worth it again

I don't wanna feel this pain
I don't wanna play this game
I don't wanna keep writing songs that're sad
I just want my life to change
I just don't wanna let life slip away, and die with a void of regret
I don't wanna keep waking up and not get out of bed because I'm too upset

a message. (rough)

Archive: unknxwn.