Fandom: Harry Potter
Character: The Sorting Hat

This one goes out to my man Robert Galbraith. 
Sorting gang. We're the worst. 

[chorus] x2
If I can sort you in then I can sort you out. 
You couldn't thwart all the things that I've brought about. 
How did Lord Voldemort find supportive crowds? 
See, you're taught to be naughty in the naughty house. 

[verse 1]
I set the wheels in motion. I sense your real emotions 
and send you reeling into the field I've chosen. 
Perchance evil potions, deeds of deep revulsion. 
I'll achieve my goals as long as I meet the quotient. 
I'm not even coaching, just picking the teams 
and filling Slytherin with all of the shittiest tweens. 
These kids will be in smithereens and no one intervenes. 
My little scheme tickles me till I split at the seams. 
And Dumbledore... 
Did you think that dumdum just stumbled through the door? 
Or got that gig on merits? Like being careless 
and looking away when children perish 
in perilous scenarios? Or get very close to some scary ghost 
with varicose veins and hairy toes, wearing burial clothes? 
I put him in with confidence 
that I would find the odd use for his obtuse incompetence. 

[chorus] x2

[verse 2]
Who divides and conquers spies and plonkers? 
'Tis I, the bonnet. "And why? It's wrong?" 'Cause I'm just bonkers. 
My best sponsors are mindless wanderers, 
floundering onwards unaware of what unkindness conjures. 
Blind, unconscious, while I write destinies 
and set trajectories. Yes I'm a hat, but I pick the accessories. 
Expressed unease, rest in peace. No one suspects a headpiece, 
but I've got the future all laid out in excel spreadsheets. 
Deadbeats and death eaters make up my faculty 
I pick the children like fruit off an apple tree. 
The alchemy of apathy as I essentialize, 
categorize and emphasize the differential lines. 
Never empathize. Just spread empty lies like how Mars and Venus, 
and vulvas, ovaries, balls and penis 
share an important link, and other sordid things. 
It's a boring kink, I know, but I sort of think...

[chorus]

[outro variant]
If I can sort you in then I can sort you out. 
You couldn't thwart all the things that I've brought about. 
How did Joanne Rowling find supportive crowds? 
See, you're taught to be naughty...

VPC 7 Round 1

.5 Quartet [Vincent E.L., Ardamus] - Sort You Out

Phatness ft. RNL & Ardamus

Bigg Notty:  Come one come all
Air ya dirty drawers
At the first annual nerdcore vpc haters ball
I'm ya host big naughty
We out here on the red carpet 
Smells like an armpit
This'll be over alot faster if we just get it started


Smokee B- V1


These muhfuckin crews ain't shit
Ya'll think they gon lose they shit?
Yo let me know to these average Joez is this some muhfuckin Wu Tang shit
I'm on my Pootie Tang tip
Whip a hater like Sa Da Te'
Sign yo petty on the runny kine get line
Me and mine playa hatin like all damn day
Listen what the Big Tall man say
Whatcha finna do with all that hate?
up in the facebook group
Spittin all dat poop like "dat song wasnt all that great"
Everybody hatin quit bitchin about it
I be hatin too I just dont be twitching about it
We some heavy hittin haters feelin different about it
Tryna hear the testament, let's give it to Prowess


Prowess the Testament- V1


All these tears in the VPC, I drink ‘em with coffee
So sorry that you can’t get a 3, yeah, that’s even you Bobby…
No apologies, these policies here to keep all of these little prodigies
Under my boot, yeah, that’s a prophecy, these An Hobbes/2-Ton Philosophies, stop frolicking,
On Twitch making hits like you got supreme, that’s a Taco, check the barcode
I’m hearing these hi hats sound like dry cats Klop posted, it’s mind blowing,
Ya’ll gotta make remix on the first round? Desh ya’ll ready for the thirst now?
Posting them traps, those ain’t raps, no caps…ya’ll gotta go rehearse, now…




Bobby Arson-V1


This motherfucking vibe aiint it 
Run a joke until the drive train quits
me and Smokee here bye that bitch
put up blinders survive that shit


Little Notty thanks for having me here
They've been hating on my verses for a couple of years
yall should dig deep and peep your inner self
instead of fucking with Twitch, try calling better help 


-What they doin?  Hatin on us
Bitch I'm the Boss-


All- HATE (like a whole lot of it)


Bigg Notty: Bigg Notty back for more
mouf like a 12 gauge shotty atcha door
and now, the moment all you haters been waitin for
It's time to present one of these motherfuckers the hater of the year award


Smokee B-V2




How could you not be a hater
Hate the challenge hate the player
Hate the judges hate the beat hate the vocalist creators
Hate a hater
Hate a coconut
All these haters choking up
Hard shell but
Sweet n chewy when they broken up
I been just joking, fuck
Still causing a ruckus
Haters of the year unless the judges fuck us
Ah, fuck em 
Gotta love em
They ain't used to me 
I hear that Navi aint half the beard that they used to be
Scuse me, damnSelene
Like a hot damn mess
 sorry for your pop filter 
Witcha plant based hotdog breath
Got alot left to say w my chest
Taking shots at these nerdcore doggone vets
Mark Cooper rap like he got dusty shoes
All of Bobby's spider kicks look busted too
But I need a heater so I'm fuckin trusting you 
To burn these clowns down arson at the circus dude


Bobby Arson-V2


come in hot like Deshy 
berserk flow and no shirt
cringing watching Joey Z
selfie a slow jerk
thanks for the notes though
dog I didn't ask
but I laughed at the old drunk guy
 in the kids mask


16 Joshes, hard to hear the difference
Kermit and Dr. Teeth Jammin in the distance
Couple of Muppets, and Beaker makes three
Oh wait thats just An Hobbes and XOC


Hard to hate it here
the way my raps get treated
But I gotta hate a game
where a vets never defeated
Hate feeling cheated 
And still I do
hate the way you haters float your fucking hate reviews


so, fuck it


we came to bang
shorty on deck 
You know my gang 
it's KKMDS
Demon Nerds and 1up funk
we at the ball
Prowess got that haterade
Hit em with the claw(s)

VPC7 Round 4

The Southern Demon Nerd - Player Hater's Ball (ft. Prowess the Testament & Bobby Arson)

30 second intro.
Ardamus: check it check it check it….it goes like this….XOC is in the house….Vincent E.L. they're in the house...Ardamus I'm in the house….Point Seven 5 we're in the house and….(intro fades)


(Intro fades. Then intro of beat drops)
(Banter from Vincent E. L. and XOC? Optional)


Chorus:
Ardamus: I'm celebratin' elevating other paths
Never settle fo.r the medal when the devil stab a brotha's back
Break the bank, break it down but dont break ya neck
You can take a chill pill still while you take the check 
XOC: -Everything is changing I’m no longer what I thought about, 
steady rearranging, the complaining getting smothered out,
 begging for forgiveness, those are things I do not talk about,
 burying my past, take my future on another route -
Vincent E. L.:I've been depressed of late and estimate 
it's not my last time feeling less than great, 
but as I investigate my mind in its present state, 
I guess you could say it's better than yesterday. Arda, you good? 
A: Damn right, I'm good. Yo XO are you good? 
X: Damn right, I'm good. E. L. are you good?
V: All things considered, I'm good.
All: damn right yo it's still all good




Verses pt. 1
X:-Blessed be my day, cause I finally could say so, 
blessed be my day, I no longer have to lay low,
 blessed be my day cause it’s looking like a new one, 
finally can say I made it out of the confusion
A:Illusion, Enforced vision of course hit em'
core twitchin' rewired my whole support system
Hundid percent, come get me, run efficiently 
sippin' rum, having some epiphanies
V: Just when I think I've forgotten how to write, 
and any other thought is out of sight and inspiration's not about to strike, 
I hear this sound, and it's like I'm surrounded by 
astounding amounts to type and signs that life is finally right. 


Chorus:
Ardamus: I'm celebratin' elevating other paths
Never settle for the medal when the devil stab a brotha's back
Break the bank, break it down but dont break ya neck
You can take a chill pill still while you take the check 
XOC: -Everything is changing I’m no longer what I thought about, 
steady rearranging, the complaining getting smothered out,
 begging for forgiveness, those are things I do not talk about,
 burying my past, take my future on another route -
Vincent E. L.:I've been depressed of late and estimate 
it's not my last time feeling less than great, 
but as I investigate my mind in its present state, 
I guess you could say it's better than yesterday. Arda, you good? 
A: Damn right, I'm good. Yo XO are you good? 
X: Damn right, I'm good. E. L. are you good?
V: All things considered, I'm good.
All: damn right yo it's still all good


Verses pt. 2
V: It's a new dawn, new day, new life, 
loose ties turn to tight bonds when the glue dries. 
Up ahead, a promise of blue skies, 
as long as I choose wisely as I deduce where the truth lies.  
X:-Vision the imagery, 
talk about the balance and the symmetry,
Witness an existence with a past they planted into me,
Started as a child, when they promptly ran it into me,
You kidding me, left me here with years to fight the misery
A:- Oozin' out my pores, blood and sweat
Held back the tears with enough regrets
I'm slowin' down, speedin' up, the revelation
Happens everytime around the team when we're….

.5 Quartet [Vincent E.L., Ardamus] - Still All Good (ft. XOC)

Murry Christmas muthafuckas...I felt like making a beat.
@letthedirtsayamen
#GODHATESGUCCI

Let The Dirt Say Amen - SILENT WHITE ( Buffalo Version )

Black Be The Source

iCONIC EP

The Promise

Fun dance song.  Not taking thing too seriously.  Just wanted to get the ya yas out.

Gateau

Fresh off the Vol. 2: The Un-Xperiment project, my fav. cut from the EP. 
http://farexp.bandcamp.com/album/vol-2-the-un-xperiment-prod-by-the-unown

FAR EXP - Write To Bragg (Modest vers. prod. by The UnOwn) [Ardamus, RNL, Fleetwood]

I've added a haunting classical guitar melody to this piece. So far, no main melody. Long piece because it is a metaphor for being trapped, and struggling to get out. Seaweed = life, bad relationship, whatever you want. Comments are welcome.

Seaweed, I Can't Help Myself with guitar

[Vincent E. L. the Earwig Linguist]
Assigned producer or vocalist.
Separate and distinct, otherwise you're a loser or don't exist.
One of two roles, but I've found that they might vary
and when have I ever bowed down to a binary?
I'll lie buried before I prioritize winning,
eyes brimming at the prize, grinning in the ninth inning,
over taking part in the creative challenge  
without wasting talents, holding back in the name of "balance".
Eighty gallons of raw skill, and you want half of it?
Pour out the forty in a sacrifice to Baphomet?
Don't want your teams too passionate?
Just a fraction of the imaginative capacity of this cabinet?
The sign says "must be this tall to ride".
Well, we're above it, so we're disqualified.
And when you all have died and the dust has settled,
there won't be anyone upon whom to thrust the medals.
Rusty kettles whistle as we boil over, soil coasters  
and spoil your royal clover club with soy yogurt.
Annoy voters by proxy, openly mocking the system
and showing the moxie to throw the whole competition.
We'll talk, you'll listen, you'll all be wishing we won
when the mission is done, consensus is "this has been fun".
The distance we've run will be worth it,
'cause we multiplied the challenge and managed to still be perfect.

Unless you're super judgmental,
here's .5 Quartet, two for one special.
Twice as many as half of all of us.
Too advanced of math for dogmatists.
With risk you'll lose a blood vessel,
here's .5 Quartet, two for one special.
Doesn't matter if it's good or bad.
Just imagine what you could've had.

I'm pulling double duty, but I'm only one part of this.
I didn't make this beat, but I sent one off to Ardamus.
Our tracks will have you begging for an armistice.
Not for mercy, but rather to offer arguments
in our favor to the judges
till their stance on team structure budges.
Anything between raucus riots and humble nudges
till the maximum number of tracks per round fudges.
But don't hold grudges at our inevitable loss.
We're the martyrs in this myth and heavy is the cross.
The devil's in the flaws and the gods are gonna hate on us,
but in a few weeks all your followers are satanists.
We're great at this. It's like we're spinning thread.
We could do this even if we were the living dead.
Wait, I just got word from Ardamus, it seems I've been misled.
He won't be doing vocals, so I guess we'll simply win instead.

[Ardamus]
...Sike....
I drove you crazy
don't trip, I'm still gonna rip that beat you gave me
but i had to be an opportunist
they jump the gun with their round 0 but they never try and hop the bullet
More than Mario
doing Cardio
Sorry yo
I was never from the streets but I played around in barrios
Pardon my pardon beggin' my pardon no Dolly Parton
Startin' to get my star when they often keep jockin' my jargon
Harden with beard on my face, tryin' to ball again
I'm hardened with a sneer on my face, high as balls again
Figured its a good idea to show a little 
what could happen when you have the right combination and flow a little
and...show a little, in this showcase, flow great
I kept diggin' and diggin' now I got mo' crates
Sure bet with the point five quartet
with EL on my drums, you should know we're a sure threat

VPC 7 Round 0

.5 Quartet [Vincent E.L., Ardamus] - 2-For-1 Special

Hip Hop Artist and owner of the label, Goldbrick Olympics.
To link with Ardamus, here's some links:
https://linktr.ee/therealardamus