Fandom: Aqua Teen Hunger Force
Character: Dr. Weird

Live from my lab at the South Jersey Shore
My ass ate my hand -- it hungers for more
My creations chafe being called nerdcore
So I'll gobble up your scene until you're all done for!
Grey hair spiked with the fishbowl helmet
Y'all heard the name Walter Melon
King of the castle
Fist my asshole
Splice DNA
And cause a scandal
Purple gown cut with the nips displayed
My dick give more than Christmas Day
Gave your momma that swordplay
Got more fish than Hemingway
On holiday in Uruguay
Hold the country hostage
death ray on some bond shit
Leather servant bondage like

Ooh, do the Dr. Weird, do the Dr. Weird baby 
Ooh let's get fuckin weird let's get fuckin weird baby
Ooh do the Dr. Weird, do the Dr. Weird baby
Ooh you'll be fuckin weird you'll be fuckin weird ooh

Truth teller like no cap
Disrespect like no DAP
Made a bot that hates rap
Ben Shapiro, no WAP
His wife dry like Atacama
Doc got her wetter than a hot sauna
Capture all the local fauna
For the next monster to drop on ya
It's part shrimp, part dog, part duck
Got lightning breath, you're thunderstruck
Doc says you're outta luck
Cause you fucked around with ShrimpDogDuck!
This thing is almost ten foot long
Like a feral hog
Diet full of nitrogen
letting out these Primal Winds

Your track? Never heard of it
Bars? not a word of it
Cleverness? Not detected
My dick? Not erected!
Dope shades, protect me from these hater rays
You bouta need some Gatorade
You lookin like a mirror glaze
On entremet
I cut that cake now you're awake
Got new meds for you to take
Swallow now, sip of water
Have a nice dream of rappin harder
I'mma go to your house and clap ya mama
She slobber harder than a St. Bernard
Your dad ain't bad, imma ring the post
Then I get gone like a space ghost

VPC 7 Round 1

YNG SLLVN [LL YZZ, YNGSLLVN] - La Danse Palourdes

Fandom: Harry Potter
Character: The Sorting Hat

This one goes out to my man Robert Galbraith. 
Sorting gang. We're the worst. 

[chorus] x2
If I can sort you in then I can sort you out. 
You couldn't thwart all the things that I've brought about. 
How did Lord Voldemort find supportive crowds? 
See, you're taught to be naughty in the naughty house. 

[verse 1]
I set the wheels in motion. I sense your real emotions 
and send you reeling into the field I've chosen. 
Perchance evil potions, deeds of deep revulsion. 
I'll achieve my goals as long as I meet the quotient. 
I'm not even coaching, just picking the teams 
and filling Slytherin with all of the shittiest tweens. 
These kids will be in smithereens and no one intervenes. 
My little scheme tickles me till I split at the seams. 
And Dumbledore... 
Did you think that dumdum just stumbled through the door? 
Or got that gig on merits? Like being careless 
and looking away when children perish 
in perilous scenarios? Or get very close to some scary ghost 
with varicose veins and hairy toes, wearing burial clothes? 
I put him in with confidence 
that I would find the odd use for his obtuse incompetence. 

[chorus] x2

[verse 2]
Who divides and conquers spies and plonkers? 
'Tis I, the bonnet. "And why? It's wrong?" 'Cause I'm just bonkers. 
My best sponsors are mindless wanderers, 
floundering onwards unaware of what unkindness conjures. 
Blind, unconscious, while I write destinies 
and set trajectories. Yes I'm a hat, but I pick the accessories. 
Expressed unease, rest in peace. No one suspects a headpiece, 
but I've got the future all laid out in excel spreadsheets. 
Deadbeats and death eaters make up my faculty 
I pick the children like fruit off an apple tree. 
The alchemy of apathy as I essentialize, 
categorize and emphasize the differential lines. 
Never empathize. Just spread empty lies like how Mars and Venus, 
and vulvas, ovaries, balls and penis 
share an important link, and other sordid things. 
It's a boring kink, I know, but I sort of think...

[chorus]

[outro variant]
If I can sort you in then I can sort you out. 
You couldn't thwart all the things that I've brought about. 
How did Joanne Rowling find supportive crowds? 
See, you're taught to be naughty...

.5 Quartet [Vincent E.L., Ardamus] - Sort You Out

You know I live a life of intrigue
Big fish, you wish
I know I'm in my own league*
20,000 under the sea
What up, Sebastian
Y'all crabs I'm Viagra
Because I'm lasting
My time is Neverending Story
But I'm not a cheater, Peter
Hauling in my lorry/Lorre**
Y'all bore*** me
Like a worm in my tomato garden
Y'all lames in flames
You couldn't get my James Harden****
At Busch Garden
With my homie from the Nerdlucks
I can't hear your raft
Because I never herd/heard ducks*****
Spare me if I can't strike******
When you dare me to touch a
Mike/mic Myers/My, yers*******
Don't matter just let me at a butcher knife
Life is but a dream sweetheart
And I'm the dream master
Sewing******** at the speed of light
Yeah I know I seam/seem faster*********
And I can't even tell if you're listening
I stay posted********** like the mail
The most interesting

*nautical / sports
**actor / British term for semi truck
***ennui / insect action
****basketball player / penis erection
*****to gather a group (raft) of ducks / to hear + water fowl / sucker mcs
******bowling  / oh please (spare me) + attack (strike)
*******Halloween villain / microphone + possessive pronouns
********planting seeds / making clothes
*********sewing / appear to be
**********mail / vigilant


I'm the most interesting man in the world
Holding a beer in between two girls
Salt and pepper beard
And the moment that you feared
Is when I grab the mic
And proceed to get weird

I don't always wild out 
But when I do it's full moon
Don't always play guitar
But when I do it's in tune
I don't always hate
But when I do it's because I'm driving
I don't always turn away
But when I do it's because you're lying
Don't always lock the door
Except when I've been watching Forensic Files
Don't always get high
But when I do
New hairstyle
I don't always need a friend
But when I do it's because I"m tripping
I don't always use an mp3
My LP was skipping
I don't always eat meat
But when I do I wanna have a cow
Don't tell me what to do, Bart
I hang with homies that allow
Me to be the most interesting G
And I don't always do coke
But when I do it's because it's free
I don't always dance
But when I do it's Paper Planes
Maybe Mamma Mia
Or Jump Around by House of Pain
I don't always sell drugs
But when I do it's marijuana bud
And I don't always wrestle
But when I do it's mud
Don't unsheath my katana
Unless I wanna draw blood
Don't always use a drywall anchor
Unless the hole's not on a stud
I don't always make the beer run
But when I do I get snacks
Don't always play M.K.
But when I do I pick Jax
Don't always go to church
But when I do it's cus of funerals
And when I make a sequel
I use the Roman numerals
I don't always confess
Unless they use a wire tap and
I don't always talk mess
But when I do it's because I'm rapping

Zero Cool - Stay Thirsty

Instrumental by DopeBoyzMusic.
--------------------------
They say I should stop making diss tracks 
Against these bastards who are just acting as rappers and probably wouldn't hit back
But I gotta make em pay for the errors of their ways.
As a hacker and a rapper, I put interest on their syntax
I see the racism inside, I peeped the peephole
You get through ya life, stereotyping all people
You say that it’s common sense but try to escape the consequence
With back-handed compliments, your tactics are all see through
mc chris-level apology, it don’t even matter
You can't see the problem with ya tweets, and that’s even sadder
They say I should rise above, get my feet up on the ladder 
But I'm pissed off, you'll get pissed on. Suck my dick, I'll clear my bladder
You actually call yourself a rapper.  The audacity
Get out the kitchen, Josh. You ain't cookin' bars. You can't stand the heat  
It’ll cost you an arm and leg to think you can handle me
And when you've lost, we'll see your family bury an amputee

YEEEEAH, there’s some like Joshua
Racists around the world stay dumb like Joshua
YEEEEAH, better run fast Joshua
Black rappers in nerdcore and none like Joshua

You say that Asians dominate intelligence, you don't
Say that to my face and try to walk away, you won't
You need to check yourself, better talk with a new tone
Or I'mma having you cryin' for your momma like a Cubone
Culture vulture, fast rap isn’t done well
Got receipts of deleted tweets, left a crumb trail
You advertised music with "RAP" in ya thumbnails
After George Floyd, you advertised with Blacks in ya thumbnails
Checked your Youtube, saw millions of new views,
Plus some rappers  you were dope, but I ignored them  
I watched some video of yours, my IQ getting low of course
You bring a whole brand new definition to boredom
The only difference tween you and these other generic
Youtube anime rappers is occasionally you tour some
But underneath I see that you only achieve to be another
White rapper in the scene appropriatin' for fun

YEEEEAH, there’s some like Joshua
Racists around the world stay dumb like Joshua
YEEEEAH, better run fast Joshua
Black rappers in nerdcore and none like Joshua

Alright, that last line might seem like a pompous statement
Because you say there's a part of you that's partly Asian
Now I ain't tryna hate on the way you that address yourself
But take a  good long look in the mirror and assess yourself
You used to record verses, said you like rappin' 
Then you grew a beard, now you're white-passin'
So when I say appropriation, there's a way I mean it
You only bring up being an Asian when it's convenient

YEEEEAH, there’s some like Joshua
Racists around the world stay dumb like Joshua
YEEEEAH, better run fast Joshua
Black rappers in nerdcore and none like Joshua

.5 Quartet [Vincent E.L., Ardamus] - Sort You Out

NerdcoreVPC

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