Hercules:
I follow every path that my soul leads
But I’ve never heard a myth containing pineapples with nosebleeds
Oh please, the stars are looking quite concerning
I learned about the zodiac and you seem like a virgin
A vermin with perversion that I’m supposed to slay down
I’m taking more swings than your ass on the playground
I’ll play it like Pain’s bout, I got superior physique
You’re looking like a ramen noodle but you’re sucking up to me?
You’re known for teaching kids the most aerodynamic run 
For when they’re trying to infiltrate Area 51
This boy’s acting like a knuckleheaded fraud whose
Got the people raging at his tales like the weeb version of Fox News

Naruto:
Your story is odd, I’ve heard it a lot and I believe in unusual fights
But this fraternity jock turned Ancient Greece into Grease the fucking musical, yikes!
They don't want you on Olympus, I've heard a lot from Hermes 
Slapped on the face of earth, they almost called you Herpes 
You say my destiny is written in astrology
But never saw yourself owned by the Death Star Company
You're half a god, the truth is the other half's a nuisance
The only time when you resemble Zeus is when the booze hits
Cuz you’re ruthless and you threw the parentship, can’t carry it
Only know how to break shit, that explains four marriages

Hercules:
I got issues with my family? Think before you flow 
You spent more time sonning me than you did with Boruto

Naruto:
My son fights on his own, but what about your ladies?
You couldn’t kill your guilt for a pile of crying babies!

Hercules:
Talk about fathers, I bet yours can relate too 
He figured he'd rather die than live a second to raise you
Go run up trees all you want with your practice in chakra
But with that little wood you got you can’t reach the tree of Sakura 
Your whole life you've been a nerdy loser, it's your fate
My legacy inspired decades, you can’t get a single date
You’d only offend the deaf, your floppy sign language can’t harm me
Look at your right hand, it’s you and what arm-y?

Naruto
You underestimate a jutsu with your street fights
Cuz on your inside you’re a pussy, no-mean lion 
I summon Toads that spit more flames than you ever did 
Because you only dish fire - when your kids are at the end of it
You’ll pay for your habits, for all the pain and the panic
You left the stadium frantic and tried to claim it’s romantic
You brought the fear in your era and now I’m clearing your terror
No matter how much you wanna impress, you’re a zero to Hera
From bravery to slavery you pay to be a scandal
Stop hook-and-piling humans, you should do it on your sandals 
You chained every man and still consider yourself a mighty god?
With all the slaves you own, you turned Olympus to a Nike shop

Naruto vs. Hercules - Rap Battle!

prod by prodbyTY

pappa

Ay ay ay ain’t no intro needed for my arrival
My rhymin’ style on the mic’s unrivaled
So why don’t I go make like your title
By the time we fightin’, I slide on Slider

Look, I’ll teach ya flow and rhythm in my rounds
Cause you’re only on time - for an empty crowd
Where are you now? Ask his fans, they forget him too
Used to visit when they’re sick, now they’re sick of you

They play my game and go “TURN UP THE SPEAKERS!”
They play your game to sell TURNIPS, THEN LEAVE YA
And trading villagers is actually baffling
Really got em out here playing Animal Trafficking

I got every dude here vibin’
While anyone who listens to your music’s silent
On a stool and idling cause your tunes are tiring
They moved on to new horizons after New Horizons

kk

Well, you seem new to this
If you like to follow directions, then I’m asking you to sit
You freestyle just like your free coupons, kid
No real meat to it, all noodlin’

Not tough enough to fight a foodie
Ain’t the first time you’re last in line for duty
But I get why you’re always so stressed
Cause you- only- speak- whenever you’re- pressed

So chill, don’t listen to the things TV’s say
You’re getting too comfy tryna sleep with PJ
I mean, I think I know why you’re cheating
When you’re paper thin, you fold easy

Pissing off Sunny, like dogs do plants
Your series is so old, yet you’re still not a man?
Then take notes from the Boyfriend who’s actually getting laid
He’s got better game, and a better game

pappa

Lemme reverse it back
But the only thing I learnt from that is how to spit a verse that’s trash
And I’ll expose the fact you’re just a fake dog
If you’re KK, then I’m KK-Dot

Ain’t hip, you rich, don’t pretend
Fly in to islands every weekend
So ya noble persona’s a wack scam
You ain’t a dawg, just an industry fat cat

Slave to his sales, carbon pawprint’s giant
You gotta stay in a cage whenever dogs go flying
But being vacation hotspot for KK is not hard
Three stars? Nah, I’m a Playstation All Star

Sending a track to every player that asks
The mailman already thinks that you’re a pain in the ass
But I know that all your songs got your name included
So call this rap battle “KK Loses”

kk

I am successful, you’re not wrong
This dog gets the bag, no chihuahua
But I spread lovely vibes with the money supplied
You barter with a frog cause your wallet’s nothin’ but flies

But it stuck, you’ve become a sellout 
Because that frog’s been at the top of your head now
You talk about scams when you’re conning your fans?
Like your small house ant, that’s far out, man

They want to meet Dred, dreaded meetin him
He took the fees, then - never seen again
Spent so much time yelling on Facebook
But never used his voice for the thing he was paid for

And that is the problem you got here tonight
That’s not what they mean by ‘dropping the mic’
You give up when it’s hard, your own motto’s a lie  
Never took it to heart, when it’s all in the mind


hi! welcome back to a new different version of rosenthal battles where i sort of just dont give a shit about anything past the demo stage because i cba! 

after monika vs junko by michael stark released i got really fuckin hyped to write so i started writing this. it was originally gonna be death the kid vs stocking anarchy but then i realised the beat vibes fit parappa and kk slider better so i made the switch.

im a big big fan of parappa and less of a big fan of kk slider, so i didnt really need much material to get writing done since i grew up w both these guys. this specific battle was inspired by angling, since i loove getting creative with angles and just making up untrue bullshit cus its fun and creatively stimulating. like, obviously kk isn’t some secretly greedy asshole and parappa isn’t actually his va and his slogan is fake, but its fun to play connect the dots with that information.

Parappa the Rapper VS KK Slider - Scrapped Battles of Whatever

prod by JEFFJENKEM

ghost

Do you like scary movies? I don’t like yours:
The overglorified torture porn
Even with so much gore, your film ain’t rough enough.
Heh… pretty funny, huh?
Once I cut out the blood and guts, I’ll bring it up to snuff

I’m horrorcore: do it like I’m Voorhees or the Torrance sort, 
So expect a kid to get his torso torn
Vocal chords screaming “mommy!” as I’m growing close
Home Alone? Well, you don’t know for sure

But I’ll get a little festive with it when I visit
Hear doorbell’s a-ringing, now Kev’s a Christmas spirit 
No answer? Then I’ll enter like my knife does
Grab the handle, twist it, and leave the inside sliced up- OW FUCK (*hot doorknob*)

kev

BOZO! My traps’ll ward you off!
I set them all up while you monologued and waffled on
Your victims get away? Take advice from their escapes
If you’re having trouble with the door, try the stairway! (*hit with paint can*) 

HAH, you fell again!
Since you slip a lot, I’ve prevented it (*steps on nail*) 
‘Cause I’m sharp and a step ahead!
If you like stalking on women then 
I know another creepy crawly you can befriend! (*spider attack!!*)

Ghostface, you should be honoured and proud
You’ll finally get put in the papers when your body gets found
Because you'll live up to your name if you don’t walk yourself out
Once you trip on one more thing, you’ll end up haunting this house

ghost

I’ll show Kidzbop Kramer a real rip off
They’ll struggle putting you together if you’re craving to be Jigsaw
You’re soulless like his puppet as well! You’re an expert!
You’ll get wheeled out, too! On a STRETCHER

kev

Stretch is right! The ghost’s franchise is dead!
If Scream gets too long, it’s a pain in the neck
Good thing you mask it up with voice changing effects
When you’re stabbed, you’d yell like me in every chase scene you’re in

ghost

In this verse, one more Ghostface assists me with this
But I heard there was more of your flicks, and I’m pissed
Cause like my accomplices, a second’s expected
But not the third, or the fourth, or the fifth, or the sixth

(*multiple ghostfaces appear and chase kevin*)

Fuck a second me, I brang a never-ending me crusade
Meant to beat and maim Dennis the Mentally Deranged
Wanna bash our voice? You should take a tip
For when you made the scripts of all your later films and fuckin’ change the pitch!

So which one of us will get the kill now?
It’s a free for all, like you’re Kevin MacLeod
We’ll tear your throat out if you’re yelling so loud
It’ll be a Silent Night once you’re dead in the ground!

(*they got majorly juked by kevin, they stab a decoy*)

Wait, it’s just a cutout on a shitty old broom!

kev

(*kevins at the top of some building pelting them with bricks*)

I’m awful surprised you got the wrong guy
It’s your signature move
Cause all your narratives share a template
Wanna be bricks in the wall? Oh ho, you’ll get bricks!

Always partnered up, and it baffles me
Only for stabbing sprees, never romantically
You wanna gut ‘em because you’re gutted they’ve had enough talk
But you’re just hung up on the fact you get hung up on

(*one ghostface runs away from kevin’s brick assault into the city streets*

You haunt your daughter far from where you started off
You got Lost in New York after you lost the plot
Because her mind is a mess
But when you’re dead, she’ll be like how you’ll get this violent dent: 

Old Man Marley:

Right in the head

(*old man w the shovel oneshots ghostface*)


hi! welcome back to a new different version of rosenthal battles where i sort of just dont give a shit about anything past the demo stage because i cba!

i actually started writing this after christmas 2024 and had both first verses done before i went MIA, but during my break i eventually chiseled this down til i got where it is today, and im happy w how it turned out.

it was also very fun to write kevins 1st, with all the trap shit. i didnt know how to convey that kind of physical comedy purely through an audio format so i hoped the sound effects work haha

Ghostface VS Kevin McCallister - Scrapped Battles of Whatever

Epic Rap Battles of What The Hell
SMG4 vs Fred Figglehorn
Begin


(FRED)
Hey it’s fred it’s time to roast a blue Mario
After this battle you’re about to get owned

I watch all your videos and they made me cough
In the older videos you didn’t even talk

Go back to Peach’s castle where you belong
The chances of you winning is gonna be worst then Bob

So go on SMG4 it’s your turn with the mic
You better breath some fire for the Fred tonight


(SMG4)
Shut it Fred and watch you say
Be quiet & shut your mouth Okay

In every video you are the one that always screams
I’m the biggest youtuber in australia since LazerBeam

You’re movies & show was horrible for Nickelodeon to make
Beating you in this battle will be a piece of cake

You’re like Bob if he had no personality
So get out of here and never step to me


(Fred)
SMG4 you’re rhymes make me sick
Even Meggy couldn’t help you find better lyrics

You turn mario into a dimwit what the hell is wrong with you
After this the whole crowd will boo at you

(SMG4)
Shut the fuck up Fred I’m more popular then you
The Last movie i’m making is coming soon

No one will fall for you, you annoying queer
Now take you’re annoying voice & get the fuck out of here

Who Won?
Who’s Next?
You Decide!
Epic Rap Battles of What The Hell


SMG4 vs FRED - Epic Rap Battles of What The Hell

Back in June 2014, I got the idea of Parappa vs Eminem. So me and other people wrote lyrics, people recorded, and 3 people filmed. Then I decided that this wasn't my best work and then scrapped it. I'm thinking about remastering this battle, but I don't know. Enjoy!

Mat4yo/Skitzy as Eminem
Justin Buckner/Matthew Thomas as Parappa the Rapper
Frenzy/Mrbiggyful as Dr. Dre
Miss4yo/Zander Peers as UmJammer Lammy

SUPERTHINGSONCUPS RAP BATTLES
EMINEM
VERSUS
PARAPPA THE RAPPER
BEGIN!

Eminem:
Hi, my name is, what? Slim Shady
Better call PETA, 'cause I'm slaying a canine baby
I’m gonna kick your ass 8 miles from my face
Since your whole video game franchise is such a disgrace
Your raps cannot compare to The Marshall Mathers LP
Just like Sunny Funny said, you’re such a little baby
All you ever do is stupid non-reputable infantile pansy raps, GOD!
Now go ahead and spit, you’ll lose anyway, dawg!

PaRappa the Rapper (Talking):
Yeah, I know

PaRappa the Rapper:
I gotta believe that I’m gonna kick your ass
So you better scram (yeah) ‘cause I’m gonna leave a blast from the past
I’ll punch you in the (Joe) chin, to show you how manly I can be
I’m gonna rock your world, as if my name was UmJammer Lammy
You don’t need to be cocky Marshall, ‘cause it’s gonna get rocky
When I bring the heat, you’ll be crying to your mommy
You won't have a recovery because U RAPPIN' AWFUL
Call me cheap cheap, because I'll crack crack crack your skull

Eminem:
I’ve forever felt like I'm a Rap God, Back off
You'll forever live in the shadow of CatDog, you whack dog
Don’t ever try to beat me, you don’t know what the fuck I’ve been through
I love the way you lie, and I’m not afraid of what you do
I gon be rapping so fast you just happen to hop to it like I'm a B-rabbit and
Nobody's ever paid any attention to your or your games they just stay in the cabinet
I’m friends with The Monster, all your friends are just gay
You just lost, without another chance, life is no Nintendo game

PaRappa the Rapper:
I’m gonna kick you, punch you, ‘cause it’s all in the mind
If you wanna test me, then you better get ready to fight
You’re just addicted to pills, I don’t need to want to interrupt
But, I’m gonna beat you as fast as Joe Chin’s simple introduction
I’ll go berserk on your ass, so get ready to meet your doom
With Dr. Dre and Lil’ Wayne, you can’t beat my crew!
You’re the reason for kids being so messed up in the mind!
Go back to jail, and pay for all of your gosh damn crimes.
Eminem (Talking):
I’m not gonna lose to a talking paper dog, Dr. Dre? 

Dr. Dre (Talking):
It’ll be my pleasure Marshall!

Dr. Dre:
Mind if I snoop in? I’ll cut this paper cutout of this scene
You don’t need a doctor, you need a vet, cause you’re a doggy 
Stop rapping, ‘cause you’re making my eyes water like Master Onion
I would Beat you by Dr. Dre, but I would get a paper cut
You gotta believe? I believe you won’t make it out alive (dawg) 
Just give up, you’ll never get Sunny to ever french your fries
You’re cheap cheap, so bleep bleep yourself and go away!
And whatever you say, you better pray, I’m still Dr. Dre

PaRappa the Rapper (Talking):
If you got to bring in a friend, then I do too! Lammy?

UmJammer Lammy (Talking):
Leave it to me!

UmJammer Lammy:
Doctor Doctor imma give you a taste of your own medicine
Rocking out to all the minds you and your crew infected in
Eminem has problems with his head, and monsters in his bed
I’ll Chop Chop you two in half, and you’ll be more than dead (again)
You’re washed out, you clocked out and now you’re all crabby
My partner might be “Pa” rapper but I’m your daddy
Snap you like a cracker while I’m jamming on you slackers
Both:
You two just got rocked out by UmJammer and PaRappa!

WHO WON?
YOU DECIDE!
SUPERTHINGSONCUPS RAP BATTLES!

Written by: Matthew Thomas, Justin Buckner, Fel, Zack, and Mat4yo.

SMG4 vs FRED - Epic Rap Battles of What The Hell

ari webb-bryant