Track 4 off of the "a nice place to cry" EP with LoseMyGrip and grayskies
post nut clarity <3

mix and mastered by Asaa

Lyrics:

post nut clarity w/ LoseMyGrip (prod. grayskies)

produced by neverforever

completely non profit 

lyrics

Where u been now
Where u been
Its almost been a week now 
And i havent seen u since
I wanted us to stay friends 
But that isnt how it is
I know it gets stressful
Sticking next to me
All the stress on my mental
It stains all the sheets
So i sway to this tempo
As she falls asleep
In his arms
In their apartment
Life gets hard
But i knew that from the start 

Think i aged like 20 years in a few days
I saw the message of the gods burned in my brain
I found the fight inside my soul n now i spit flame
If anything i learned i got a cruel fate
Suns blocked so i start booting up
I break down my body i dont give a fuck
Bitch im going hard until my time is up
I need the cruelest woman to make me give a fuck

i want u to fuck me up
why is that never enough
looking at me with the eyes of an angel
i think that we're both falling out
how does this come about

she just falls asleep
in her lovers arms
when life gets hard
we fill our lungs with tar

i think i aged like 20 years in a few days
i saw the message of the gods and its burned into my brain 
if anything i got a cruel fate



-1 (neverforever)

I hope u love it, enjoy <3

prod. me
https://soundcloud.com/nihil2free on guitar
collab with https://soundcloud.com/bitekivibes
shoutout to both of them for real


lyrics:
i've been trying to fight off this gravity
can't have shit in this life its fucking comedy
seems to be i worked up on my honestly 
were still stressed, nothings left, somethings gotta be up
tell me that you don't give a fuck
i said, "okay see you in bit" 
crushed my hand with a mallet
ditch all my attachments and bring the fucking damage

keeping me up on a late night 
in deep, no sleep in my damn eyes 
you said you missed me i said, "damn right"
can't rest i'm stressed till the daylight

i could use a little bit of closure
fucking up my mental i've been distant and colder
they're so judgemental it sucks my composure
all i have left is what i should have told her

break me down to see myself
i've lost my mind
don't need your help.

now i get it
synthetic how they act around me tryna be my friends its pathetic.
i keep waking up to panic 
suppression locked in, i cant stop it.

gravity.deprived

spotify

<what are you thinking about?>
<nothing.>
<wanna know what im thinking about?>

the walls are closing in on me again
i cannot leave
so if i suck up all the oxygen
can they still breathe?

if it’s all in my head
then why am i stuck again?
living life through a screen,
hold conversations through threads
hypochondriac at best
so could you please check my vitals?

pray for cardiac arrest
so i’ll be dead on arrival 

<youre angry at everyone
I know you have a lot to be angry about.
but keeping it to yourself and being quiet, like you're doing,
its not going to help you> 

way too often i find myself
in situations i could do without
i’ll sedate myself to handle going out
now i wish i didn’t come, i need to shut my mouth
(i need to shut my mouth)
why i did leave my house?
(why did i leave my house?)

i suck to be around

so if it’s all in my head
then why am i still in bed?
self induced lucid dreams,
and leaving my friends on read
isolated at rest,
i’m hoping this time it’s final.

pray for cardiac arrest
so i’ll be dead on arrival!

(so i’ll be dead on arrival!)
(so i’ll be dead on arrival!)

if it’s all in my head!
if it’s all in my head!
if it’s all in my head!

(so i’ll be dead on arrival!)

in my head!
in my head! 
in my head!
in my head! 

so i’ll be dead on arrival.

<there's pain underneath, that's where our work needs to go.
what is it about society that disappoints you so much?>

<oh I don't know.
feels like all our heroes are counterfeit.
the world itself, just one big hoax.
spamming each other with our burning commentary bullshit,
masquerading as insight.
we wanna be sedated.
because its painful not to pretend.
because were cowards.
fuck society.>

dead on arrival (prod. capsized)

carousel

I was walking in the farmers market 
I never expected to see you there 
And we talked again like I’ve always wanted 
But your words were few of something nice to hear 
By the CD area stalls 
you were telling me I should just get over you
But I can’t 
Holding up the line I’m begging you can we try again 

So don’t go for too long I’ll miss ya 
By the car you shout back then that was different 
I moved on 
found a new one it’s going great thanks for asking
Hung up 
Crying out what I held in for a very long time 
Distraught now that your gone
Makes this another event you won’t find me at this fall

Is it possible to talk about everything we did
When you looked at me that first night 
And gave me that kiss
But it was different then 
I was a different man 
All I ever hoped for was to see you again
I got the chance to get you back it’s in front of me
I’ll do anything right now you come and talk to me 
I just want us to work out your mine to be 
All over again  <333

Farmers Market (king theta)

Lyrics:

i'm not lost
you can find me in my mind
meet me up inside my noggin
where i am solitary confined
and 
i never wanted you to pry
all the reasons why i'm in the prison that i do reside
and i know that i rely
way too heavily on my intuition
not efficient
makes it easier to lie
self collision
my existence
need a different frame of mind
an artisan a
shit musician
is just how i am defined

i found a egg inside my body colored red covered in guts
she's spouting bout how that's not a fair and giving me a fuss
uh 
i'm sitting here like what the fuck
is that really your reaction to my stomach now expunged

my intestines aren't intact
and my liver's no better
you thought it was a laugh
but i'm dying in my sweater
took a blurry photograph
and i hit the ground forever
tried to put them back in
i was putting all my effort
yea
i was putting all my effort
sorry that i couldn't make it home was busy deader
promise that i'll try to make it home by supper
if they let me out this coffin maybe soon i'll be better

fuck fuck fuck fuck

we're all in this together
like captain could you share the map
we need it for the weather
your greed is immeasurable you fucking human trash
how i'm friends with you no wonder ended up a pile of ash

i'm not lost
you can find me in my mind
meet me up inside my noggin
where i am solitary confined
and 
i never wanted you to pry
all the reasons why i'm in the prison that i do reside
and i know that i rely
way too heavily on my intuition
not efficient
makes it easier to lie
self collision
my existence
need a different frame of mind
an artisan a
shit musician
is just how i am defined

how i am defined (prod. treetime)

nonprofit

Lyrics:

fell off the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down
ion have the energy to get up i'll just lay down
she screaming again find some cover and just stay down
she's holding his hand while she's telling me to calm down
face her with a straight frown
wait for fucking day now
ion know if i could deal with her inside her ball gown
i hope that she comes down
from her fucking high horse
i don't know what they have heard but they've been getting reports

of someone in the mist
taking souls up on a whim
who's my next target
hope u not on the list
they make me feel like shit
wish that i could wipe humanity off of the fucking rim n the face of the planet face of the earth
i still gotta learn
how to use my voice for good and put it on my shirt
i heard something bout a curse
not actually concerned
if you saw me go i wasn't gon return

don't you cry the fog will make it right
if you can't be saved he'll just take your life
i don't think he minds what your weight or height
if you do deserve it you'll see his knife

fell off the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down
ion have the energy to get up i'll just lay down
she screaming again find some cover and just stay down
she's holding his hand while she's telling me to calm down
face her with a straight frown
wait for fucking day now
ion know if i could deal with her inside her ball gown
i hope that she comes down
from her fucking high horse
i don't know what they have heard but they've been getting reports

ugly tree (jolst)

can u just lie? w/ mookigang prod. boyfifty

everything by me
be as well as you can be;
thank you for being here.

i've seen what they're after,
those piles of fiction,
drawings of answers
warping perceptions

o mother, or father, 
doth cast a reflection?
they weasel and balter 
to distance from lesson

out of grace,
i fall from the arms of armistice
lack every card but the ace,
played when he longs for not a thing

studies of readings inscribed by the feeble
distorted, then imported to feed and fuel an ego
though karma is nothing but patience and sermon
for evil and ugly of heart are persistent
the paling and devoid of taste cheer
tagged and collared, held in place
does it ever pose you great fear?
were we ever meant for aim?
to strain
to ache
to strive
to break
to bend on command,
do you not feel disdain?
i'm awake for age of negation
and stripped away of certain relation,
but i believe in better days,
though how does one both go and stay?

out of grace
i fall from the arms of armistice

cyanide skin

You’re not worth my time
Burning these pieces alive
I’m stuck in this hell that I thrive in
Too many problems indicted
Youuu

Don’t know what I’ve been through
My heart has been through it all
I can’t just fall
Until that I try and I give it my all for you
You’re what I know
Don’t leave me in the dark
Too many problems occur and it’s all my fault
I know
That I try to give it my all
But it crashes and burns everything falls apart on you

You’re not worth my time
Burning these pieces alive
I’m stuck in this hell that I thrive in
Too many problems indicted
Youuu
The things that I’ve been through
They’re all in my head i suppose that im into
Making it all up as trauma response i dont know what ive been through
And thats all on you

I dont know what i mean to you
Cause I know that im wrong
But you broke every promise and dragged me along
All the things that I drag into
Make me feel worse
And I wish I could change cause I know that it hurts
And the time that we spend we spent it on arguing
And the words that we say
We try to get under the skin on each other
When we both know that’s wrong
Everything crashed down and it all falls apart on you

You’re not worth my time
Burning these pieces alive
I’m stuck in this hell that I thrive in
Too many problems indicted
Youuu
The things that I’ve been through
They’re all in my head i suppose that im into
Making it all up as trauma response i dont know what ive been through
And thats all on you

I know that im wrong
I know that im wrong
I know that im wrong
I know that im wrong

dead on arrival (prod. capsized)

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