so beautiful, hero. your music brings me great joy.

Featuring @sendflowrs
Produced by @hellahaunted & @sainttomorrow
Mixed & mastered by @horoshamusic
Logo by Dead & Detached

i been smoking too much like every day

who would'a thought that these drugs don't really numb all the pain

my eyes stay shut but i still see your face
i'm still so miserable

still feel unfulfilled


and ive been smoking too much like every day
since fifteen think it's rotting my brain

i got my windows closed but i still hear the rain

i don't like myself anymore

think i've changed

and while you sit there drunk on the side of the pave

do you ever think about those times in the cage

with your friends in the sun oh those times they have changed

now i'm sitting on my own thinking of life on a stage


thinkin of life on a stage

these days i'm alone 

take 3 blunts to the face

spend my days blazed just thinking of life in the states

shoutout jj
i'm tryna record everyday


i think i'm going straight to hell for those two years

if you didnt know im sad you must be new here

cliche dyed hair
i'm a loser

forever screaming on my own at a computer


i'm a loser and I know it
got it tatted on my sleeve just to show how much i own it
stay glued to my computer
writing sad songs and playing first-person shooters


watch me self-destruct

catch me yelling "nerf this"
while i'm rolling up another blunt


i used to do this for fun

now i do this on account of all of my bad luck

i been smoking too much like every day

who would'a thought that these drugs don't really numb all the pain

my eyes stay shut but i still see your face
i'm still so miserable

still feel unfulfilled


i'm still so miserable

still feel unfulfilled

i don't even know what i'm fighting for



Listen on Spotify!

Loser w/ sendflowrs (Prod. caves & Saint Tomorrow)

prod @taurs and @jolst

I need to call her again and get my head straight,
scrape my face on pavement when she drag me cus im dead weight,
I can smoke a pound easy babe they call me sensei 
I dont post on gram, hate my face and thats on everything, everything 
x2

is this true love 
gonna throw up
if u repeat that phrase
those 3 words make me go numb 
need to get up
been laying here all month
and this weight it holds me down
but the weed help me get up 

and thats ur man, is it?
hes kinda handsome,
well compared to me ur a muhfuckin damsel
think I got 2 greedy follow bread like im Hansel 
I fuckin hate this place and ur friends I cant stand
i can’t stand em 
x2

I need to call her again and get my head straight,
scrape my face on pavement when she drag me cus im dead weight,
I can smoke a pound easy lil bitch they call me sensei 
I dont post on gram, hate my face and thats on everything, everything 
x2

dead weight (taurs x jolst)

produced by branwen

completely non profit

lyrics

turn it up turn it up for another night
getting drunk on a sunday till the morning light
waking up in a monday in a strangers bed
i think i finished all my drinks theyre in my fuckin head

holy shit here i go again
i been off my meds for a while
n im a god again
i dont really know who i am
n im alright with it
at least im being honest
if it hurts then u dont feel regret

ur head will hurt in the morning
u dont give a fuck
shes kinda cute might as well go n try ur luck
she thought that i was 25 holy wtf
so this wont go past tonight idgaf

19 i make connections when in drunk until i break them when im sober
in my heart im older
i bleed from underneath the scotch tape thats holding me together
its forever

why waste my time writing all these fucking metaphors
im still in love with the person that i met before
gave her my heart n she threw it on the fucking floor
i find it hard just to trust cus in the end
fucked my best friend
said she wishing i was dead
u live in my head
both u n him
and its such a mess 
that u have left
that u have left
that u have left

(hero)

i find it funny how we repeat such a cycle here again
shits so toxic its obnoxious she refuse to leave my head
and im okay with that, as okay with being sliced in half
"i got a thing for artists" oh i want ur take on that
chugging octane to experience a numbness when she on me
stop me, id like to see u try oh u could never
sulfate to really rub the cut into my skin
with scotch tape to wrap the fatal wound once again

scotchtape & sulfates ft. hero (branwen)

hope you enjoy, or something <3 :")
prod. @user-230494921 <3

𝘪 𝘴𝘦𝘦 𝘯𝘰𝘸, 
𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘤𝘪𝘳𝘤𝘶𝘮𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘯𝘤𝘦𝘴 𝘰𝘧 𝘰𝘯𝘦'𝘴 𝘣𝘪𝘳𝘵𝘩 𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘪𝘳𝘳𝘦𝘭𝘦𝘷𝘢𝘯𝘵.
𝘪𝘵 𝘪𝘴 𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘥𝘰 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘨𝘪𝘧𝘵 𝘰𝘧 𝘭𝘪𝘧𝘦, 
𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘥𝘦𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘮𝘪𝘯𝘦𝘴 𝘸𝘩𝘰 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘢𝘳𝘦.

(2x)
down on all fours, like a dog speakin' prayers
if i miss a call, it was on purpose, i swear
yellow-tainted teeth biting down into my hair
if i'm meaning what i preach
would my god even care?

she said i'm "hella right"
everything i say past three is hella right
and the night time 
welcomes me with open arms to tight bind
bright lights; everybody trusts it
i don't trust it at all
i'm terrified right now
wish i could give you a call :(

i overthink and scrap everything
i'm trapped behind these bars
that you could never see
a majority of the time
i'm disgusted by the industry
but if it's okay with you
then it's okay with me aswell

as the essence surrounds me 
and corrupts my soul
what a blinding gaze
i wish i could break it's hold
as i'm marching through a land
that is unknownst to me
i've only seen it inside of my dreams

(2x)
down on all fours, like a dog speakin' prayers
if i miss a call, it was on purpose, i swear
yellow-tainted teeth biting down into my hair
if i'm meaning what i preach
would my god even care?

purple fingers
makes these feelings linger
been staring into empty space
for way too long
caught up on what is "right"
and what is "wrong"

i thought about her
again, last night
again (3x)
last night

these thoughts give me dopa- 
dopamine
as long as i believe they're real

it always comes back to this...

would my god even care [prod. 4lexf]

prod @sorrow_bringer

 it really does kill me that i'm not able to showcase what i create/put out how i want it to be, but the piece itself matters the most to me. hopefully one day i'll be able to put together like a music video/lyric for a majority of what i put out, but for now, this is all i got. thank you so much for supporting me and music to this point. i really, really appreciate it. more than just that. this is everything to me. thank you for listening. <3

i'd fuck off if you'd just ask me
but everybody else just stands there, laughing
i really thought this through
yeah, it's you
something bout the way you stab me
then patch up the wounds
kinda like it never happened

brass knuckles mounted on my fists
sweat n grease; let it drip
like a typhlosion, my body is molten
i will not let opportunity slip
it's all for the kid, that i had been
i fucking miss him, but i shouldn't let
adolescence turn to codependence
just how in the fuck did we grow up to this

i'm sorry if you don't like my voice
cause i don't either, i do not have a choice
i take a break for a couple days
then i come back, just to fill the void
i'm so annoyed by every noise
and a breath away from breathing poison
a leap of faith isn't what i'd take
just freefall into clairvoyance

i don't keep track of the shit i accomplish
trying my best to avoid being pompous
now the weight of the world's being pushed on the girl who had given me hope
for the things i had wanted
ain't that some bullshit
honesty lies in between the cracks
of what we deem that is evil
but we can't live without it
can't live without it

oh, it feels like i stall time
when i submerge myself in a foreign pathogen
all feels well, till i cross that path again
flicker the blood off your hands into mine
what an orthodox method of covering crime
i just wanna cry
she just wanna crash
just leave me behind
there's no going back

but, what if i fuck this up again
would you be my only friend
my mentality's kicking the bin
cause honesty lies within sin
with every thought, grows ornery tension
every night i'm a loss, and i'm building retention
stars don't cross if you don't pay attention
my tears don't drop if they're not worth a mention
you cannot feel what i feel.
she's probably not even real
i'm probably not even real
so i'm going in for the kill

i'd fuck off if you'd just ask me
but everybody else just stands there, laughing
i really thought this through
yeah, it's you
something bout the way you stab me
then patch up the wounds
kinda like it never happened

did it ever happen..

retention [prod. sorrow bringer]

and hey there 
can i sit here  
i noticed that you were all alone 
and reading jane eyre
and i can’t 
stay here 
i’ll die here 
and if it’s raining for the night
i’ll give you my coat at anytime, i 

like wait there
(wait there)
i’m scared 
(i’m scared)
that you think that i’m shady 
it’s not fair 
(it’s not fair) 
we’re an odd pair
i’ll stay here if you want me to i promise
if not we can rain check 

hey there

i think i recognise you; have you been here before? 

(oh, for real?) 

my bad, i guess not but- 
do you wanna go
we can smoke at mine
if you don’t smoke
i got some beers n we can pass time
i don’t give a fuck about what’s going on 
as long you’re here watching always sunny
til bout quarter past 5 

and hey there 
“hey u :)” 
im fucked up
turned blue 
yeah im too slumped
how bout u 
like oh god !!!!
you’re too cool 

dont walk out 
leave me 
im cut up 
bleeding 
so just stay
these sun rays 
they make me 
feel okay 

all of the things 
that i could now say to you
i don’t know whether to laugh or cry
do you even feel at least half of this?
or will you just sit with your friends and all laugh at this- 
FUCK

and hey there 
can i sit here  
i noticed that you were all alone 
and reading jane eyre
and i can’t 
stay here 
i’ll die here 
and if it’s raining for the night
i’ll give you my at coat anytime, i 

like wait there
(wait there)
i’m scared 
(i’m scared)
that you think that i’m shady 
it’s not fair 
(not fair) 
we’re an odd pair
but i’ll stay here
if you want me to i promise
if not we can rain check 

hey there

i think i recognise you; have you been here before?
oh, for real?

pale (pekarot x jolst)

lights in the dark
feeling sick when you talk
was it easy to know?
is it easy to walk?
i feel weightless
gather dust in the basement

pressed in your clothes
act like nobody knows
that you made it to august to wake up alone
as its breaking
haven't spoke in the days since

i've been cautious and sober
he died in october 
he said that hes fine 
now the lights flicker slowly in bayview
couldn't face that they made you

i could finish early it could get so cold
raining in the summer and it takes me home
felt it more than life and how'd i let you go?
let you go

and the light doesn't know that im still here
but i'd rather take it away
and everythings all so familiar 
and i've not a thing left to say yet
better than watching
better than watching you pretend

Familiar

produced by tiedforsilver and ryan kelly
mastered by nate2timez
written and mixed by epitomeoffailure
artwork by melmige

lyrics:

looking back at my life, in black and white, all i see is the past
since hindsight’s is perfect and clear i knew i’d never last 
staring in a bathroom mirror, while life just keeps on going by fast 
i bury my face in my hands all night and scream this 
world is trash 

i just lack the confidence to get over myself today
the demon on my shoulder telling me that he gon have to stay
beggin me to fuck up and to give into my selfish ways
but i could never do it even with a mind to mold like clay

terrified, to the core i think i might be paralyzed
petrified although i can’t help but fucking wish for more
problems keep coming in from right outside the open door
if i looked outside this balcony would i see you by the shore 

pages i cant seem to read because im in the dark
tell me can we shine the light before i fall apart
please patch up these bloody wounds around my blackened heart
as you can see when left to me they start to form up scars

i just need comfort
in this moment
i still suffer 
in the slowest 
ways
i’ve lost the number when counting up my days
now this regret is what i’m smokin to the face 

terrified, to the core i think i might be paralyzed
petrified although i can’t help but fucking wish for more
problems keep coming in from right outside the open door
if i looked outside this balcony would i see you by the shore 

t-t-t-t-terrified, to the core i think i might be paralyzed
petrified although i can’t help but fucking wish for more
p-p-p-problems keep coming in from right outside the open door
if i looked outside this balcony would i see you by the shore 

looking back at my life, in black and white, all i see is the past
since hindsight’s is perfect and clear i knew i’d never last 
staring in a bathroom mirror, while life just keeps on going by fast 
i bury my face in my hands all night and scream this 
world is trash

paralyzed (tiedforsilver x ryan kelly)

Lyrics:

i'm not lost
you can find me in my mind
meet me up inside my noggin
where i am solitary confined
and 
i never wanted you to pry
all the reasons why i'm in the prison that i do reside
and i know that i rely
way too heavily on my intuition
not efficient
makes it easier to lie
self collision
my existence
need a different frame of mind
an artisan a
shit musician
is just how i am defined

i found a egg inside my body colored red covered in guts
she's spouting bout how that's not a fair and giving me a fuss
uh 
i'm sitting here like what the fuck
is that really your reaction to my stomach now expunged

my intestines aren't intact
and my liver's no better
you thought it was a laugh
but i'm dying in my sweater
took a blurry photograph
and i hit the ground forever
tried to put them back in
i was putting all my effort
yea
i was putting all my effort
sorry that i couldn't make it home was busy deader
promise that i'll try to make it home by supper
if they let me out this coffin maybe soon i'll be better

fuck fuck fuck fuck

we're all in this together
like captain could you share the map
we need it for the weather
your greed is immeasurable you fucking human trash
how i'm friends with you no wonder ended up a pile of ash

i'm not lost
you can find me in my mind
meet me up inside my noggin
where i am solitary confined
and 
i never wanted you to pry
all the reasons why i'm in the prison that i do reside
and i know that i rely
way too heavily on my intuition
not efficient
makes it easier to lie
self collision
my existence
need a different frame of mind
an artisan a
shit musician
is just how i am defined

how i am defined (prod. treetime)

Bankroll ft Se7enstar [p. longboystyle x desmos]

song 4 tiktok (john pork)

not.a.fx.hero on discord if u need a friend.
https://discord.gg/RU7YPvM3CC
song every 1-2 weeks
beat every week

@onebigwoopsy
@timeless-archive
@miserygxrden

how i am defined (prod. treetime)

hero

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