When the table m turn and shes not there i know i shouldn’t care but i still find myself thinking about  her

Lyrics:
last year i been said man, i dont really know
watch me gettin to the racks while they coppin my flow
cause we still be in the struggle while we coppin the dough
keep ya head up young kings cause we doin the most

gettin my bag cause i do what i gotta do
why you come thru pull up with a attitude
ion give a damn cause you know im just vibin dude
gettin all the best, intercept like its Madden, ooh

pick up, but ion care if you gone, ya
get up, i get my money and ball, ya
big ups, you know im grindin and all, but i just really wanna chill and kick it back at the mall, ya

whatever, you know im clever
and i could write another verse and save it for a letter
dont ever, sever endeavors
i put that work in and i probably never been better

askin if i go, like, is you really flow? like
labels hit my line cause they really wanna know
but i never seem to pick up when they hit me on the phone
maybe its whatever, i could do this on my own

i can
i can do this on my own

On My Own

prod @jolst + @pekarot_161
mastered by: @jolst

right here
won’t you hold me right here 
cus everybody switched up
i had to fight fair 
i been
stressed out
think i need a cold beer 
said fuck that 
i’ll smoke a blunt
and pull out my hair 
x2

cus i been spending my money and livin up
and i been textin her she just don’t give a fuck
at least i got my friends right here to jus show me love
if i was alone right now i’d probably kick the buck 

i just want my baby to come and kiss me a little bit 
i know i get too greedy and i wanna take it off
if you ever need a friend just hit me for the thrill of it 
she give me a little but i rlly want it all >:•)

baby im a loner :(
straight to the fucking face 
smoke a blunt n then i phone her 
im beggin beggin baby please 
why won’t u just come over (im kinda bored)
im not tryna be dramatic
but im gonna fucking throw up !!!!!!!!

not tryna be dramatic but i'm guess that im a loner ): 

(alan watts speech)
(ak47 reload)
(lightsaber sheath)

revenant (jolst x pekarot)

And please don't leave,
Said you're sorry it had to be me,
I've been looking for reasons to be,
alone in my room, where I'm meant to be
she don't understand, she don't see what I see

And baby we could take over the world too,
if only you would let me fucking hold you,
you say you got a man, like what will he do?
if only you would let me get to know you,

I don't wanna hurt you like that,
I see you watching me back,
I'm not good for your mental,
you're bad for mine back
and if stars would align,
one day you'd be mine,
don't know how to win when you lose every time

are you happy now?
does he treat you well,
coz I've been in hell,
invisioning, a better now

I keep a knife under my bed,
to fight the monsters off,
cant keep the thoughts of you away,
they tend to throw me off
I hope you're happier with him,
I know I'm not the one,
I'll never be the one

Align (prod. daks9k)

w/ @splashgvng

lyrics:

I'm so tired of falling in love
I tried giving a fuck
But every time
You just leave me waiting (on you)
I don't wanna wait in the dark
I wanna kiss in your car
But every time
You just watch me break (and it's too)
Damn much, so you
Get drunk, I'd let you
Suck my blood for
One more touch
But every time I'm getting close to the edge
You let me go again
And just when I think this is the end
You pull me back in
Just when I think this is the last time I'll see your face
i fall in love again, and then you fuck one of my friends

And it was so irrelevant
Worth less than nothing, I'll admit
We stayed up all night watching movies
You made me feel like a kid
And like a child, I was so scared of rejection
Unbroken mirrors make me hate my reflection
Oh, and now we're driving to your place
Volume, no talking, interstate
And when I left you at your house
You treated me like I'm nothing
I guess I've never been enough
Write songs 'til someone gives a fuck
But when you see me on the stage
Just look at me like I'm nothing

Overthink my emotions until nothing means anything
Trying to sleep, mixing Xanax and ketamine
And you left the day that I bought you a wedding ring
Take all you can while I'm giving you everything
And now there's a hole where my yearning should be
And Xanax ate most of my earnings this week
And I never felt so fucking lonely back east
But nostalgia's a liar, I'm grinding my teeth til I

BREAK MY JAW
Oh baby, take it off
I wanna break it all
But I'm so afraid of being nothing to you

JAWBREAKER w/ splashgvng

not_there (prod. barelybreath)

redlight, i stopped and listened then you looked into these dead eyes
these times don't come too fkn often, i won't let it go
let it go
not ready to lyk, lyk

times up lemme talk to em
they all want a spot but they ain that locked in
if the money all you care about you fkn up again
never thought that this would end so quickly
girl you got me fucked up can't listen to you anymore
they brag bout this, and brag bout that until they bored
if your ego take a hit you gon be sore
that shit gon hurt you to your core
say that you hate me, say that you can't love.

redlight, i stopped and listened then you looked into these dead eyes
these times don't come too fkn often, i won't let it go
let it go
not ready to lyk, lyk

red light (prod.branwen)

prod. heyzbee & acey
feat. @yungcray

i fly away 
like doves in chains
you used your fangs 
and bite my wings 

this my last song that i’ll ever write about you
it’s nothing personal, i just finally have withdrew
a lot has happened recently, i actually got a tattoo
i’m finally done with my past i even changed my shampoo
like a lonely dove
i’m actually out of love
it took me all these months
now i’m finally done
flying away, i’m not same
sometimes i wish that i didn’t know your name
low-key miss when you used to call me lame 
but it’s  too late now i know actually have to change 

i fly away 
like doves in chains
you used your fangs 
and bite my wings 

pull me down 
straight to the ground
you can hear me scream 
as my heart starts to pound
i never thought 
my heart would rot 
now i just think 
will this ever stop 

yungcray:
girl ur presence really kept me alive, it’s been 2 months and I just feel fine, never thought I’d let go of this life, I’ve gripped on  so hard it’s time I dropped the knife, it’s time I healed my wounds, cuz its passing, passing by, and I can’t even move but I think is cuz I’m high, I looked up in the sky no the stars did not align, it was never meant to be simply  a chapter passing by, 

now my life’s so changed I’m going full throttle they not even catching up, all my life in this pain, I open a bottle I know this gon pick me up, I wish I had new ways to drown out the feelings, but I’m just so fucking stuck, i will find a way I will find a way

(2x)
i fly away 
like doves in chains
you used your fangs 
and bite my wings 

flying away, i’m not same
sometimes i wish that i didn’t know your name
low-key miss when you used to call me lame 
but it’s  too late now i know actually have to change

dove (feat. yungcray)

self prod (loop by jolst)

(lyrics)
Fuck all that, id kill myself
before i asked you for your help
its hard to admit but the world seems bleak 
i struggle to find colors even in my sleep
i hardly dream smoke too much weed
hopefully im fine by this time next week
i been strugglin could really use a hand
but its my fault i lost my friends 
x2

but i wont admit it
just give me another dose
and while im at it
i knew that it was close
to nothin, what you expected of me
but somehow i still fucked up everything
but now i must go and my only hope 
is that you'll be fine living life on your own

i'll write you a song in my suicide note
walk out the house with just my clothes
its not my fault i swear i didnt know
id break my legs and have to move on

its not what it seems
baby i been losing sleep

losing sleep

you feel it too
i’m not alone in this alright
beat around the truth
9tails on this bumpy ride
can’t conrtol what you do
but i’m trusting you tonight
put all my faith in you
going too fast, im losing sight
100 we’re goin too fast, the musics too loud, will we even survive?
the tears rolling down to my neck, i gotta accept, do you want me alive?
my hearts beating out of my chest
u never want me at my best
these complications are a weight i can’t compress

ill catch myself on the way down
i get that im just a face now
i smell his scent when we lay down
9tails tryna calm down
i know one day i should face it
feels like everydays wasted
grey eyes and i hate it
days spent suffocating
harder to breath its gets harder to be
ugly man but she's so lovely
i wish u knew what u wanted of me
i wish i knew what she wnates to see
it would make so much easier
march walks home it breezier
no phone its street sounds
back home and feet pound

pretty eyes i wish you could see
our lives are only temporary
no one around it’s just u and me
tied together in our memories
i got nothing left for me, can’t you see
i been dragging round this body all week
i got no independency
i want no independency

late night its just you and me
no fight, cause i know im weak
im so gone, hoping that you see
phones off, i just wanna sleep
its to cold in the white snow
bed all day now the suns low
still on the same thoughts from years ago
oh gosh i should let it go

too fast (ft. boxedcat) [desolent]

meh

blood stained shirt yeah you know how it goes
i only get violent if they push me ‘till i blow
if you run now i’ll be better when youre home
if you leave now, itll be safer when youre home
at 23 will u still remember me
ill be gone evenmtually
for now i gotta fix this on my own
promise it’s better if you go
dont watch the blood drip from my nose

say my mistakes dont define me
until they cause me pain and i start sprilaling out 
got these new ways to hide it
bury me with secrets, they’ll be safe no doubt
my bones are starting to rust
wipe away the dirt before i turn into dust
consuming my lungs
this place i won’t leave
all the bugs in my flesh
i’m rotting with leaves

there’s no place for me here
im fading out of your memories its clear
i got no one left to listen
i got no one left who will miss me

not_there (prod. barelybreath)

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