Heaven's Official Brainrot

Jerrlyse

imagine the shock when you took my hand
and we walked and we walked just then
when i thought i had lost you to time
in my head a pain i don't define

imagine the fear in my heart
when you looked and you saw past the scar
i was ready for you to leave then
i had thought i would lose you again

but you utter my name
with a reverence i don't deserve
as you look up with pride
and choose me without any reserve

i would light you a thousand lanterns
i would write you a million letters
and i would take all of the pain that they give you
and make it alright, make it all mine
i would fight for the right to stay with you
and i would die any number of times 
if i get to keep you in this life
then i know i'd have done the one thing
that i need to get right

ash in hualian hell

Lanterns (Tian Guan Ci Fu - Heaven Official's Blessing)

hualian brain rot. tired? yes. feverish? yes. no good mic? yes. but hualian brainrot? yes. always yes.

* * *
and i swear i was there when you fell 
out of favour with gods and your wings thudded into the floor
but i watched all in pain as you rose to defy what they told you you couldn't do

and the winds were a bitch, i remember
the gale in the desert, 
the weight of your hand on my wrist
i was grain, i was pebble, i was stone skipping lakes
til you kept me around with you

body in abyss, heart in paradise
taking on the hurt with your every stride
lonely little ghost drifting by your side
hopeless little shadow in your daylight
bodily amiss, heavy on your sigh
prisoner of a dream from another life
lonely little ghost with a lot of time
helpless little star in your moonlight

had i known you were there 
when i fell out of heavenly favour
oh god, wasnt i quite a wreck? 
would've never let you see the mistakes that i made
with the heart that i now wear around my neck

the dice that i've tossed in this lifetime
are shit, that is true, but at least i was sure and i knew
see, it's strange, i could gamble, i could win one or two
since you've kept me close to you

body in abyss, heart in paradise 
trying not to fall or break my stride
lovely little ghost stay by my side
chase away the shadows of the old life
bodily amiss from a quite-long fight
broken and bruised now every night
lovely little ghost with a lot of time
beating all the odds with your bright light

imagine if i'd never met you
imagine if i never fell from the walls
imagine if i never went through
the beauty of a life that had you
imagine all the years i lived through
knowing that i couldn't pull through
imagine if i couldn't see you live
a life as beautiful as you

body in abyss, heart in paradise 
trying not to fall or break my stride
lovely little ghost drifting by my side
a hopeless little shadow in the daylight
bodily amiss from a quite-long fight
broken and bruised now every night
lonely little ghost with a lot of time
beating all the odds for your bright smile

Little Ghost (Tian Guan Ci Fu - Heaven Official's Blessing)

more tgcf brainrot!! this time beefleaf!! because why the everlovingfuck not!!!

i have the right to destroy myself
such that i choose my end to be you, my friend
i have the right to confess my sins
such that i choose to lay bare what i've done
but it doesn't compare
no it cannot compare

i have the right to devour myself
such that i choose the air you breathe, my friend
i have the right to consume your lies
such that i choose to stay in bed
with the corpse in my chest
my corpse on thy chest

why do i not bury you 
like the dead of night where i once knew
the fear of falling far into
a life not knowing parts of you

i have the right to deplore myself
such that i lose myself to you, my friend
i have the right to defy good sense
such that i push away your truth
til you wish you were dead
how i wish you were dead

but why do i not bury you
like the seeds of rage that i once knew
the fear of knowing parts of you
where i can see me falling through

i have the right to despise myself
(why do you not bury me)
such that i give what's left to you, my love
(why do you not bury me)
such that i choose to let you live, my love
(why do you still call to me)
such that i'd leave my ashes here, my love

why do you not bury me
why do you not bury me
why do you still call for me
why do you not bury me

Bury (Tian Guan Ci Fu - Heaven Official's Blessing)

imagine the shock when you took my hand
and we walked and we walked just then
when i thought i had lost you to time
in my head a pain i don't define

imagine the fear in my heart
when you looked and you saw past the scar
i was ready for you to leave then
i had thought i would lose you again

but you utter my name
with a reverence i don't deserve
as you look up with pride
and choose me without any reserve

i would light you a thousand lanterns
i would write you a million letters
and i would take all of the pain that they give you
and make it alright, make it all mine
i would fight for the right to stay with you
and i would die any number of times 
to keep you in this life
and keep me here by your side

imagine the shock when you took my hand
and we ran and we ran back then
when i thought i would lose you in time
 in my head a rage i won't define

imagine the fear in my heart
when i looked and i saw from afar
just how ready you were to leave then
as if i were to lose you again

as i utter your name 
with the reverence you so deserve
i will look up with pride
and choose you without any reserve

i would light you a thousand lanterns
i would write you a million letters
and i would take all of the pain that they give you
and make it alright, make it all mine
i have fought for the right to stay with you
and i have died a number of times 
to keep you in this life
so you keep me by your side

so i don't go where you aren't
we stay where we are and
we lay in our temples and worship in silence
i'm not a believer
in many old things but i
know i believe in the truth that i sing
i won't go where you aren't
i'll be where you are
and i'll stay there no matter what happens
i'm just your sincerest believer
don't know many things
but i know i'd give you me

i would light you a thousand lanterns
i would write you a million letters
and i would take all of the pain that they give you
and make it alright, make it all mine
i would fight for the right to stay with you
and i would die any number of times 
if i get to keep you in this life
then i know i'd have done the one thing
that i need to get right

Lanterns (Tian Guan Ci Fu - Heaven Official's Blessing) (Full)

(originally posted on my tumblr!)

I think you forget that I’m not like them
I don’t always tell you that you’re the best
You don’t often hear me say your name to your face
But I remember that was never the case

I don’t think you realise I was always yours
I may have been an asshole, but it was all because
I got a little sad and you got a little lost
It was a phase, I never got past it though

For so many nights
I watched the shadows fleeing from the light
I can’t say I blame them, the brightness hurts my eyes
The shadow always kept me company until the sunrise

All I’m trying to say is that I don’t know
I suck at saying sorry
but I’m sure you know that twice as well as I do
so I don’t have to tell you
I bang my head against the wall for shame
But I don’t blame you

I never could forget all the finer parts
The colour of your eyes and the way you pause
When I would say I need you
The thing is, I still need you
I dream of pushing you against the wall so I could breathe you in

And for so many nights
I watched the shadows fleeing from the light
I can’t say I blame them, the brightness hurts my eyes
The shadow always kept me company until the sunrise

I think you forget that I’m not like them
A little misdirection won’t do me in
Tricks of the light won’t work so well
'cause I don't need to see you to know you're there

For so many nights
I watched the shadows fleeing from the light
I can’t say I blame them, the brightness hurts my eyes
The shadow always kept me company until the sunrise

I never could forget all the finer parts
The colour of your eyes and the way you pause
When I would say I need you
The thing is, I still need you

Chasing Shadows

FOR ALWAYS
Halyse
(Being the [technically] Ninth)

I try to slow it down, take it a notch up
Breathe in, breathe deep and calmly
Collect my thoughts, forget the urge to
Run back and hold you tightly
One hand on the suitcase
The other holding on to your memories
Looking for other ways out of this
 
And when I walked away
You took my hand and held it to your face
And that was when you told me this
You said
Nothing ever stays the same
And sometimes, even the sun can't stop the rain
And there are no guarantees 
Of what is there and what will be
But if the pain demands that we stop a while
As the rain falls down on our heads
And then you ask me if it's all worthwhile
I'll say yes
'Cause there won't be another answer to that question
Because I'm with you for always

I'm halfway out the door
But my heart and mind are with you
I can't fight it anymore
Because I know I'm bound to lose
The seasons change, and so do we but
I never thought it happens so abruptly
And there are no compromises to this mess

'Cause when the sunlight fades away
You'll be the moon that sets my sky ablaze
With you, I understood
That
Nothing ever stays the same
And sometimes, even the sun can't stop the rain
And there are no guarantees 
Of what is there and what will be
But if the pain demands that we stop a while
As the rain falls down on our heads
And then I ask you if I'm worthwhile
You'd say yes
And there won't be another answer to that question
Because you're with me for always

The rain falls down hard
My hands are shaking, and my feet are cold
And I am breaking
I am shattering, like fragments of a mirror I fall apart
And then you come, turn me around
You put back the pieces
You calm me down
And tell me

Nothing stays and that 
Sometimes even the sun can't even stop the rain
And there are no certainties
Of where it is and what will be
But if the pain demands that we stop a while
And if I ask you if I'm worthwhile

Nothing ever stays the same
And sometimes, even the sun can't stop the rain
And there are no guarantees 
Of what is there and what will be
But if the pain demands that we stop a while
As the rain falls down on our heads
And then you ask me if it's all worthwhile
I'll say yes
'Cause there won't be another answer to that question
Because I'm with you for always

For Always

I also really really love Yoosung

I never believed in circumstances or second chances
I'm not one to lay it all on the line
So you coming at just the right moment
Is nothing short of a miracle
Don't it amaze me, you got me changing so easy

I see you
Right here with me and I can't breathe
I don't think I've ever been this happy
I've come so far from where I began
The clearest that my eyes have ever been
And I can't believe that I didn't dream it
Right now your hands make the only sense
Right here I see, the one thing I need
Is happiness smiling in front of me

Before you I knew I'd given up
I couldn't trust myself with the choices I made
I lived every day just like the last
And you come in, just like that, erasing the sadness
I thought it was madness
But yes still amaze me, 
you've got me locked down so easy

I see you
Right here with me and I can't breathe
I don't think I've ever been this happy
I've come so far from where I began
The clearest that my eyes have ever been
And I can't believe that I didn't dream it
Right now your hands make the only sense
Right here I see, the one thing I need
Is happiness smiling in front of me

I See You (With Me)

A Yoo-Song for Yoosung

Ends In Rain (Reboot)

Do all people already know
The answers that I don't
Why do the seams
always all come undone at once

Some days are harder than others
and Mama says I shouldn't cry
So I look up
to a blurry image of the sky

Dad said for there to be light
there must be dark
It's just how the world keeps turning
around and round the light
Now gone

Well done again my friend
Even if no one
can tell you how lucky you've been
I need you to know
Well done again my friend

Lanterns (Tian Guan Ci Fu - Heaven Official's Blessing)

a.s.