It's me detailing my personal issues and how I am trying to overcome my demons.😈 

K - JAH021 - Let Me Go

produced by me

for h.h. <3

p.s. date me

antlers

much like summer as it dwindles through fields of its own heat and collapses into fall, i will slip slowly into sleep much easier as time passes by. 

i still fail to recognize, love or accept myself, but i think i'm coming closer to achieving that goal with each passing moment. 

thank you all; stay radiant. 

radiant

smile (prod. plcmnt)

@mt-marcy

and he had... a mind like a great force
with eyes like a forecast, heart like a rainstorm
brainstorm problems with solutions in the same form
of course we're both talented, sweetie, that's what we aim for
perfect match, certified, heard him laugh, curtains wide
watching through the windows while my home was being burglarized
my home being my heart, and the windows being my hurting eyes
you ever met someone cute enough that you'd share your curly fries?
'cause i have... and i can say that truthfully
a demon from below, who'd have thought that an angel'd stoop to me?
see, i don't think god's out there, but i don't care what you believe
i will pray for you to be my darling 'til i lose my teeth
and age into a state that's far from happiness and jubilee
and stay up in the night until i'm growing used to losing sleep
if you're in my dreams, then i'll count sheep, wake up, hit snooze, repeat
and hope whoever's out there can grant the wish you've accrued in me for...

you, you, you, you (x4)

you (prod. mt marcy)

self-produced; this one's pretty cute 

guitar recorded on my fender tele 
drums from a few different sample packs

this is a sunny sky, this is a starry night 
this is an afternoon i'll spend inside your arms, held tight 
this is a question mark, this is a final thought 
this is a happy ending snuck into the epilogue 
this is a seperate building, this is the journey there 
this is the scenic route, this is your messy hair 
this is a promise kept, an honored lesson, taught it to you 
through the momunental light alive inside your amour suit, and... 
this is the reason i've been shaking when i speak 
always terribly afraid to make mistakes and make you leave 
it's a shame i'm scared of heights, 'cause when you sweep me off my feet 
i feel the ground beneath me start to sink into the sea 
i can feel the clouds above me coming closer to my touch 
i can almost taste the heavens, but compared to you, it's much 
the same as everything else... another book on a shelf 
it's just too hard to explain, so i'm repeating myself, like... 

this is a broken record, this is a broken record 
this is a broken record, you'll always know me better 
this is a broken record, this is a broken record 
this is a broken record, so i'll be yours forever 

this is the celebration, this is the party hat 
this is the cellophane in which my heart is wrapped 
and i'm peeling it back, 'cause i'm feeling the love 
this is absolute bliss, this can fit like a glove 
this is peace on the earth, this is me, what it's worth 
i'm not a hundred percent sure, but still 
this here, this is a final draft, this is an epitath 
for every negative emotion on a seperate path 
this is the safest feeling ever to be felt 
it's a message in the morning that intends to make you melt 
and honestly, this is my magnum opus, this is a story book 
where all the illustrations have super-friendly sorta look 
a cordial shook hand at an important event 
with stainless steel silverware and a porcelain dish 
it's the weight of the pull inside of a torrent of fish 
a metaphor used precisely to make it more than it is 

this is a broken record, this is a broken record 
this is a broken record, you'll always know me better 
this is a broken record, this is a broken record 
this is a broken record, so i'll be yours forever 

this is a broken record, this is a broken record 
this is a broken record, you'll always know me better 
this is a broken record, this is a broken record 

art by bennie (www.instagram.com/cozylile)

download <3

broken record

hey i went to a place and wrote a song about it!!! bool

i knocked on your bedroom door
and waited for you to answer
i bought you a crimson rose
smelled just like you did

i smiled at the view outside
and stood in your empty driveway
could tell that something was wrong
little did i know

my time there was running short
your kisses were my ambrosia
they melted into my skin
"darling, i love you"

it's awful that i must go
it's awful we have to part now
'cause i left my beating heart
in san diego

san diego

SAN DIEGO

hey, thanks for 50k <3

lil vocal acting by my homies jake & marcus <3

lyrics:
i think that now i'd call myself a wordsmith
but not because of talent of ability
it's more that i can balance the facilities
of living as a human, while i'm sittin' here decal-ing my sililoquies
and i guess it makes sense, in that regard
i use my brain as a capture card
inhalin' every word i stumble upon
to try to catalog 'em all before the rapture starts

so you can tag along and follow all the wacky antics
like all my stupid problems that relapsing can't fix
"keep your head up out the sand, stop scratching that wrist
before you turn into another anxious ativan kid"
well i guess it's too late... a couple hundred panic states passed
and my broken self ran away fast
feels like i lost my body in a hand grenade blast
with all this absence in my soul, and i can't evade that

so i'm stuck... trapped in a painting of myself
that was made before i changed how i felt
i'm hoping that my other friends can break out and help
but to be honest, it seems like they've greyed out as well
i constantly remember back in high school
sneaking out to kick it with no pay stubs
everything was simpler then, i guess
i only feel free when there's something to escape from

so i'll keep writing songs of longing for the olden
looking to the future for my confidence and boldness
it certainly isn't here, and neither am i
but i think that we've established that enough to decide
that it's time for a change; or, rather, time to revert
'cause we all sorta miss the designs that we were
and maybe nowadays what i write's more diverse
but the patrick years back didn't understand hurt

and that hurts

a wistful remembrance

wordsmith ii (prod. purpan)

i miss u

yea

LYRICS:
maybe it's the question, maybe it's the answer
i don't know the reason now
and maybe it's your eyelids, maybe it's the moonlight
but something beautiful sticks out

and i'm in my bedroom, watching through the window
stare at the sunlight, wonder where the time is going
you're in the bathroom
crying with your shirt undone
now we're on the freeway, speeding past a cop car
stole your mom's van, and took it for a test drive
and you're sat in the backseat
looking at your best friend's hair

i wanna be more than a cheat day in your diet plan
you can be the lungs, baby, i can be the diaphragm
just breathe, just breathe, and you'll be fine
just breathe, just breathe, it happens all the time

CHEAT DAY

happy early valentine's day uwu

produced by @byrook1e and @skyhighbeatss 
mixed by @halberd-3000
cover art designed by @landosmusic

lyrics:
it feels like i'm skydiving when i text you 
rose petals on the floor outside your bedroom 
sunshine, whenever you smile, it's the best view 
i was at the bottom waiting for a rescue 

but now it's like a paradise enveloped in light 
everyone's probably aware, but i'ma tell 'em despite 
even telling 'em twice, you're a hella delight 
you've got a smile like a story that i'd tell every night 

and if you're feeling sickly, i'ma break out the campbell's 
and make sure you get your hand held damn well 
if you can't tell, i'm in a bit of a trance 
such a pretty romance, the way it fits in the plans 

it's like a sundress on an early afternoon 
up next, i'm just curling up with you 
no question, i guess that it's the truth 
you're just really fuckin' cute 

sunshine, i'm watching 
through the window 
i can hear the birds outside 

sunshine, there's something 
in the air 
i can feel it when you're there

sunshine

uhhh yeah @mt_fujitive

lyrics:
it's that awkward diva essence, chronically depressive
stop and leave a message or just talk to me a second
with that java bean aesthetic (grinding), probably dyslexic
if you got me mixed up with all these drama queens

i don't wanna hear that... you can keep that shit at home
rapping in my bedroom... guess i did this shit alone
often too alone, but all these tinder boys are pretty gross
so 'less you tryna go and grab some coffee, please don't hit my phone

lately, that's the only type i've fallen for
frail, tall-ish, nail polish, yeah, i've said it all before
used to grab my daily arizona from the dollar store
and kick it with the homies who don't rly like to call no more

yeah... but i don't call 'em either so it's my fault
slammed my cell receiver on the sidewalk
handle full of ether 'til my mind's gone
you don't need a feature, this is my song

you don't need a feature, this is my song
homie, you don't need a feature, this is...
well, you don't need a feature, this is my song
this is my song... and this

that awkward diva essence, chronically depressive
stop and leave a message or just talk to me a second
with that java bean aesthetic (grinding), probably dyslexic
if you got me mixed up with all these drama queens
(x2)

(pathetic)

my song (prod. mt. fujitive)

produced by @jhfly

lyrics:

i often sit and wonder how your hand would feel
if we were sitting on my carpet sharing chamomile
keep a lot of little secrets that i can't reveal
until we're high at 3 am just sharing chamomile
(x2)

i guess...

i've got a letters that i've written
a few of them i'm tempted to incinerate
they tend to pile up around my desk
at the frequency of sadness and dinner plates
it's easy to get lost inside of memories
it's harder to pretend that isn't bothersome
you told me 'bout your favorite kinds of flowers
so i went to the market and i got you some

i didn't even break down when i left my house
i didn't even get anxious when i went out
you know the words never sound quite right when they leave my mouth
but, darling, just finish your tea, and we'll go lay down
we can go lay down

i often sit and wonder how your hand would feel
if we were sitting on my carpet sharing chamomile
keep a lot of little secrets that i can't reveal
until we're high at 3 am just sharing chamomile

chamomile (prod. jhfly)

atlas