If you like these kind of songs I've got a playlist full of them https://soundcloud.com/user-464026313/sets/got-you-in-the-feels?ref=clipboard  please check it out or don't, it's up to you😁

this makes me think about life and the ones i love

а на фоне чья-то мордочка

https://rapperatlas.bandcamp.com/album/im-happy

i'm happy

where am i going?

much like summer as it dwindles through fields of its own heat and collapses into fall, i will slip slowly into sleep much easier as time passes by. 

i still fail to recognize, love or accept myself, but i think i'm coming closer to achieving that goal with each passing moment. 

thank you all; stay radiant. 

radiant

rescue me (prod. ¿HUH?)

first part produced by @flayvors @smwun, second part produced by me

LYRICS:

coffee in the mornings
afternoons i lay awake
and hope that something's out there
something that can take away
my breaking state of mind
breaking state of hatefulness
it happens all the time
it happens

having coffee in the mornings
afternoons i waste away
and hope that he returns soon
smiling with patient grace
and makes sure that i'm fine
makes sure that my mind is calm
it happens all the time
it happens

it happens, it happens
it happens, it happens

like a plane crash shark bite, i know that the chance is low
but i'll be waiting here until the day that you can stand to go
where i am, 'cause i'm not a patient man
but i could wait forever for another chance to take your hand
and dance in place, break a manic state and start to feel again
drift through space, kiss my bliss away inside a helix spin
wistful hate, self-inclined and self-inflicated lately
i'm no help with livin', dear, i'm just a selfish fucking baby
and that's too real... far too real to ever say it
so i'll rewrite this verse again and strike all the cursive penned
and think of something better, a bit less detrimental
my life is still in beta... my hit-reg existential
for now, at least, i cower in my coward speech
happiness is out of reach whenever you are out of reach
i'd give it all away for just a single hour each
where both of us can come to terms with our off-balance feet
and learn to walk again

bottom of abyss or bottom feeding bottom-barrell staring
old apparel wearing, take the ferry in to bury him
sanitarium i spend my days and my nights quite
often, off it, talking toxic nonsense
common knowledge brought straight to the tables
stray from the fables, play through the cables
so the sound resonates in every nook and every cranny
read the book and popped a xanny every crook i got uncanny
at the last of it, taxing your passages, rapping a masochist
back to the past a bit, adamant savages, mad at him
hold the talisman above my fucking head like a trophy
and hold your head up in the air like a talisman
no battles or second chances around if you tattlin
all these snakes when they rattlin turn to vacancies after it's said and done
no rest for a setting sun, so impressed that you've never done
what you claiming... fuck the game and the statements, i've said enough

peace

IT HAPPENS // DIRT

with @nevermending

lyrics:

fading out
i can't see

something is breaking me
taking my faith and replacing it slowly
with what i don't know as my own
please point me back to my home

'cause i'm so trapped
in this god damn house

and i should be grateful
and swallow my pride
but i can't seem to stop all the longing inside
for whatever it is that i found when i left for you

your hand finds mine
and then we shall shine 

but i might not be
there for you this time

sorry to be
the bearer of bad news
but i can't do this 
you've got me blue

parking garage sesh

download <3

trapped

with @nevermending

lyrics:

i turned 19 three months back
and i still can't fathom how to act
'cause this adult shit's kinda whack
i'd rather lay inside and read
and treat my life like a weekend

and all my friends will slowly
move away and change
and i'll be left here feeling strange
with all my comrades out of range
for me to reach

it seems so odd to have to
redesign yourself
'cause you're so much of someone else
that they feel like it's unhealthy

but i guess it's part of life
to surrender what you like
in favor of the things you have to do 
and there's so much i have to do
these days

these days

i'm turning 18 in a month 
going off to art school is coming up 
and i'm scared for what's going to happen

i'm going through a breakup 
and i only cope with things i shouldn't 
i get myself into trouble too much 
lately

all my friends are anarchists
and i don't know what i think 
things are too complicated 
and the world is full of shit 

my inner pessimist is out 
full of anxiety and doubt 

i'm not ready for what's next

i'm not ready

hey, thanks for 50k <3

additional rock stuff at the end by me :~)

lyrics:
thank you for every moment shared
for every hug and kiss when i was stepping over there
to visit you... some might not think it's fair
but all the time i got to spend as yours and all the care
was more than i could ever ask for
you treated me respectfully and that's more
than anyone else... but now i'm sat sore
caught up in my panic like a task force is breaking down my back door

and i hope to see you thrive, to see you thrive

'cause i'm lying in my bed
with my pillow held over my head
wishing that the weight of all this stress
could hold it down and stop my breath

we must go our seperate ways
i know that is the truth
i wish that i could travel back
to the moments spent with you

and freeze time and space in a silent place
to appreciate your smile for a little bit longer

i'll try to be stronger than i am

a wistful remembrance

stronger than i am (prod. mt marcy)

hey, thanks for 50k <3

lil vocal acting by my homies jake & marcus <3

lyrics:
i think that now i'd call myself a wordsmith
but not because of talent of ability
it's more that i can balance the facilities
of living as a human, while i'm sittin' here decal-ing my sililoquies
and i guess it makes sense, in that regard
i use my brain as a capture card
inhalin' every word i stumble upon
to try to catalog 'em all before the rapture starts

so you can tag along and follow all the wacky antics
like all my stupid problems that relapsing can't fix
"keep your head up out the sand, stop scratching that wrist
before you turn into another anxious ativan kid"
well i guess it's too late... a couple hundred panic states passed
and my broken self ran away fast
feels like i lost my body in a hand grenade blast
with all this absence in my soul, and i can't evade that

so i'm stuck... trapped in a painting of myself
that was made before i changed how i felt
i'm hoping that my other friends can break out and help
but to be honest, it seems like they've greyed out as well
i constantly remember back in high school
sneaking out to kick it with no pay stubs
everything was simpler then, i guess
i only feel free when there's something to escape from

so i'll keep writing songs of longing for the olden
looking to the future for my confidence and boldness
it certainly isn't here, and neither am i
but i think that we've established that enough to decide
that it's time for a change; or, rather, time to revert
'cause we all sorta miss the designs that we were
and maybe nowadays what i write's more diverse
but the patrick years back didn't understand hurt

and that hurts

wordsmith ii (prod. purpan)

it's never enough </3

lyrics:
i'm prodding around this vacancy
this empty hole you left in me
i thought i'd fill it soon
with someone else's skin and you would too
i'm sorry for you how feel
i know you see that swerve behind the wheel
you see yourself inside the ground
and i know i can't fix you with sound

but i can try

if you'll open up your eyes
and i'll show you the way i dive
into this ocean of dismay
this terrifying grey in which i sleep
and there's no disguise
i just wait for my demise
as it comes towards me
it can't ignore me...

anymore

and i'll keep losing friends
whether it's to death or to the wind
it's such a passing trend
being a breathing and living person
at least it seems that way these days
with how often my loved ones slip away
i'm growing concerned for my safety...

i hope i'm not next
i'm too scared to die
the concept is frightening
but still i can try
and i hope you're not next
i love you too much
everything you say
i use as a crutch

so open up your eyes
and i'll show you the way i dive
into this ocean of dismay
this terrifying grey in which i sleep
i know the void
all my patience is destroyed
when i start panicking again
and start ignoring all my friends

but i hope i'm not next
i'm too scared to die
the concept is frightening
but still i can try
and i hope you're not next
i love you too much
everything you say
is never enough

NEVER ENOUGH

produced by @aimless-beats
art by twitter.com/ahahamadork

back at it again

i write inside of the eye of the storm
with a hyphen-divided title that sidles by in the shadows
hyper-drive when you trying to ride beside in the morn
with that iodine on my clothing, i wash it out with the form
no pauses, no breaks, and i don't talk to no fakes no more
they all snakes, no more of that
i could write a gorgeous rap and probably make a quarter sack
but i would rather throw it like a quarterback

motherfuckers hoarded that style, and now they bored of it
i'm bored of y'all, i wish half these cats in my tapestry acted more involved
i wish they'd address me as majesty when i tour the mall
and i wish all the haters that message me could afford it all
it's kinda sad, i don't know what it's like to rhyme that bad
i don't know what it's like to be that kind of mad
i do know what it's like, to sit looking back at the times they had
in passing, but i'm focused on pressing pencil to writing pad aptly

and i don't mean to end abruptly
but i seem to be disgusting all the people here to judge me
and that's lovely, while y'all are obsessing over some painted nails
i'm hopping the safety rails, exiting while the train derails
and this is patience, stale as ever in the passing sense
frail as ever, such a fragile wimp to battle with... yeah
and i don't mean to be a masochist
but after all the shit y'all put me through, i'm kinda glad ya' did

'cause i don't really care for the world these days
the world these days
i got too many homies out here seeing early graves
seeing early graves
and everything is dull when the world's such a boring gray
such a boring gray
i got too many homies out here seeing early graves
seeing early graves

early graves (prod. aimless)

and i'll carry my pen like a sword
(thanks to @nosentences for the sample)

lyrics:
and so i meander this hallway
and try not to step on the cracks in the floor
don't think i know how to relax anymore
everything's either passive or coarse
either passing the course with the masses
or passing the torch that they using to scorch all the fabric
bask in the fourths on the staff
'til the core notes collapse in the tracklists

and i watch 'em all fall to the floor, watch 'em shatter into pieces
always knew i didn't matter in the thesis
didn't ask much, never tried to paint on my mirror
to make my own face any clearer
but things that used to be compliments
feel like insults now
things that used to be compliments
feel like insults now

i'll walk a million miles away
'til my insoles turn into dust
don't want my kinfolk hurting as much as i did
when i first learned to burden this rut
speak like an arcade cabinet with arcane sadness
lost in a pac-man maze where the ghosts are never blue
and the weather, too
it's all dark and dismal 'til a better mood

see, i lost my mind in a health potion
they all want mine once the wealth goes in
mind so bright, sense of self so dim
'cause i hid my old ways in the trunk
but things that used to be compliments
feel like insults now
things that used to be compliments
feel like insults now

and if all goes according to plan
i'll be scoring my autobiopic
don't let 'em look up to me as a prophet
don't let 'em philosiphize on the topic

and if all goes according to plan
when i'm scoring my autobiopic
i won't let 'em tell you the comedy's cosmic
you don't need a punchline to be a bit honest
with me

autobiopic

cute trap shit

lyrics:
i'm just tryna hold your hand
put some diamonds on your wrist
got some ice behind my lips
you can feel it when we kiss, wait
(x4)

gas in my lungs, bars in my text files
snuggling a cutie with a name straight out of x-files
can't even pronounce the fuckin' names on my textiles
i just dropped a rack on these lames, i gotta flex now

i might get cash, spit raps
been that, been the best, yeah, whatever
i'm magic, just got my hogwarts
acceptance letter
they asking how i've been
i'm just like, "never better"
cash flow come so steady
like a sturdy boat in the best of weather, oh, my

they paying homage to me soon
my new whip so much knee room
might drop a band on some seafood
and i don't even like seafood

but i sure do like you...
i guess that's what's really matters
make the competition scatter
you say i'm cute, i'm fuckin' flattered, wait

just know that i fuck with you
in fact, i kinda think you dummy cute
(x3)

and if your favorite chip is really bbq
then i'ma grab a few and we can kick it, okay, yeah, peace

i'm just tryna hold your hand
put some diamonds on your wrist
got ice behind my lips
you can feel it when we kiss, wait
(x4)

stronger than i am (prod. mt marcy)

atlas

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