prod. caspr
engineered by skrwd
mixed and mastered by Patrick Gardner

I swear I care, I'm feeling lost when you're not here
I just wanna talk about it, can we talk about it?
I swear I care, I'm feeling lost when you're not here
I just wanna talk about it, can we talk about it?

I just wanna talk about it but you don't hit my phone up
I got too much in my system, fucking throwing up
I've been working every night, just have to count it up
Tell you I miss you, but you don't wanna speak much
I feel so lost when you're not here
I can't fucking sleep when you're not near
I swear I care, but we don't even talk and it's not fair
I've been losing my mind and I'm holding onto you
Trying to figure out a way to give it back to you
Overthinking every word I ever say to you
I'm trying my best, don't know what else to do
I'm so scared you'll leave me here, I worry so much you'll disappear
I just wanna talk about it, you don't wanna talk about it

I swear I care, I'm feeling lost when you're not here
I just wanna talk about it, can we talk about it?
I swear I care, I'm feeling lost when you're not here
I just wanna talk about it, can we talk about it?

I haven't seen you in weeks, you're not too far from the city
You tremble when you speak and I know it's on me partially
Talk to me softly, tell me that you want me
Laying in my bed, yeah, longing for your heartbeat
When I'm with you it's not so bad but every time you leave, I just get so sad
You're the only one that knows me like that so I'm so scared that you won't come back
You're the roof over my head, eyes got me focused
Every time I inhale your scent, I'm in heaven
You're the one I'm flexin, not even a question
Tell me what's on your mind, maybe it'll kill the tension
We'll be alright, only a matter of time
Even from far away, you're the color of my sky

I swear I care, I'm feeling lost when you're not here
I just wanna talk about it, can we talk about it?
I swear I care, I'm feeling lost when you're not here
I just wanna talk about it, can we talk about it?

swear w/ skele (prod. caves)

Featuring @sendflowrs
Produced by @hellahaunted & @sainttomorrow
Mixed & mastered by @horoshamusic
Logo by Dead & Detached

i been smoking too much like every day

who would'a thought that these drugs don't really numb all the pain

my eyes stay shut but i still see your face
i'm still so miserable

still feel unfulfilled


and ive been smoking too much like every day
since fifteen think it's rotting my brain

i got my windows closed but i still hear the rain

i don't like myself anymore

think i've changed

and while you sit there drunk on the side of the pave

do you ever think about those times in the cage

with your friends in the sun oh those times they have changed

now i'm sitting on my own thinking of life on a stage


thinkin of life on a stage

these days i'm alone 

take 3 blunts to the face

spend my days blazed just thinking of life in the states

shoutout jj
i'm tryna record everyday


i think i'm going straight to hell for those two years

if you didnt know im sad you must be new here

cliche dyed hair
i'm a loser

forever screaming on my own at a computer


i'm a loser and I know it
got it tatted on my sleeve just to show how much i own it
stay glued to my computer
writing sad songs and playing first-person shooters


watch me self-destruct

catch me yelling "nerf this"
while i'm rolling up another blunt


i used to do this for fun

now i do this on account of all of my bad luck

i been smoking too much like every day

who would'a thought that these drugs don't really numb all the pain

my eyes stay shut but i still see your face
i'm still so miserable

still feel unfulfilled


i'm still so miserable

still feel unfulfilled

i don't even know what i'm fighting for



Listen on Spotify!

Loser w/ sendflowrs (Prod. caves & Saint Tomorrow)

w/ @sleepywater <3
prod @afterlife66 🖤

~~lyrics~~

easy to target
swear i’ve been honest
i’m still tryna rejuvenate
from the memories last august
ink drip from the ceiling
familiar feelings
to take time is to realize
what it really means to be healing

knees go numb when i reach for the shelf
there’s an old song that speaks of myself
but i’ve lost it; my subconscious 
won’t take away this blockage
it’s irritating; the way i hate it
all you are is full of nonsense

how you gonna say ur not into me
everytime you’re my enemy
i feel out of body
everytime im getting the…
drugs from my doctor
off a sedative, i forgot her
i feel like i deserve my happy ever after
i don't like it here, i like raptures
enrapture me for a disaster
i got wounds on me so where’s my plaster
in a room with me, i feel like casper
she don't touch me; i shatter
she dont trust me, i’m in tatters
i’m forever climbing up this
unforgiving ladder

i’m unfair & i know it
frustration; i bestow it
i’m shaking baby, yeah i’m aching,
maybe this is punishment for the broken
the sight that i see through my eye 
isn’t blind
a sigh of relief comforted by a lie
i can’t really take it, 
the pace that i’m making is 
turning me into the me i despise

fuck, i'll turn my back on ur ass & won't
 give it a thought or the time of the day
it doesn't matter, the wounds & the plaster are begging me
“autumn, you just gotta change”
if i go any faster, my body will splatter
 yet i'll be alive, put me outta the pain 
i pick up the fragments of me that just happen
to still be in tact, even after the rain

everything i spew out
i tell the same story
bout how you don't want me
never ever want me
how comes ur all up on me
i pull u, you don’t pull me
im stressed out, can't relax
another pill, i might relapse

i just don’t get it how this life
taught revenge and left me behind
no time to cry…
cause in the end you’ll be fine

how you gonna say ur not into me
everytime you’re my enemy
i feel out of body
everytime im getting the…
drugs from my doctor
off a sedative, i forgot her
i feel like i deserve my happy ever after
i don't like it here, i like raptures
enrapture me for a disaster
i got wounds on me so where’s my plaster
in a room with me, i feel like casper
she don't touch me; i shatter
she dont trust me, i’m in tatters
i’m forever climbing up this
unforgiving ladder

wounds & plaster w/ sleepwater [prod. afterlife]

produced by sk8miles

completely non profit

lyrics

so who showed up to ur funeral?
(I been, I been, banking on a funeral)
only saw your family pulling up with all their caseroles 
(I been, I been, waiting on a hearse)
for every moment u spent living I sat here alone
( I don't, know why, u make me think of funerals)
but at the gruesome end I ask u where'd ur friends go
(I been, I been, banking on a funeral)

we live our lives online and wonder why we're so alone
i go outside to get reminded not to leave my home
you should lighten up and maybe then u'll find a bit of hope
you should be shutting up man I don't even care a bit at all

computer screens and actors
lights off n my back hurts
car wheels roll backwards
lives lost like captives
dying youngs in fashion
I live that gutter life no mansions
no handouts no pensions 
wear my body out for my paycheck
don't say nothing, don't spray it
I been in my head of late just brain me
take a .45 or a mil' o' 9 and send the lead out of my cranium
brain splatter on pavement
all of the grey matter just wasted
if u want something just take it
can't be assed complaining bout it

thoughts tracked on a post it
can't connect at all with humans (humans)
something broke in my brain machine
I can't talk to u without booze in me
(did u find ur halo?)
so friends come n they always leave
but that's fine tho it's alright with me
I've found the way that I'm meant to be
all alone I can finally breathe 
(did u find ur halo?)
let me breathe
bury me in mulch n rotten leaves
(did u find ur halo?)
July will mark the two years that I've grieved
why waste ur time I beg you don't believe in me
(did u find ur halo?)

so will u show up to my funeral?
(I been, I been, banking on a funeral)
only saw my family pulling up with bottled alcohol
(I been, I been, waiting on a hearse)
keep the numbers low I had no friends that they could get involved
(I don't, know why, u make me think of funerals)
shout out to my ones across the world I'll never see at all
(I been, I been, banking on a funeral)

banking on a funeral (sk8miles)

7/28/22
prod. @everythingmackk

i've sent too many sorries
and my phone is gonna die soon
i should've learned something
at least more than a thing or two
like what is worth to a person
who cherishes the dirt on their shoes
do i turn a blind eye to my own cries?
or fear the rest of my youth

cause i don't wanna force who i am
as i pour another cup, with trembling hands
over half of my life's being made without plans
i get it; if i made a choice, 
i'd surely regret it
but most of all my worries,
i can't fit them in the pensmanship
you simply wouldn't get it
even if you really listening
the center of my soul don't only glow
it's also glistening
my demons start to part as i'm
pouring the nitroglycerin

it only feels like i'm here when i'm
stun-locked in third gear, and a 
dozen million miles away from reality
i hope forever ain't forever
unless it has to be
cause i don't wanna go out in misery
let go, of whatever this meant to me
fuck that
imma go on a killing spree

emma, i'm sorry for everything.

it's my fault you let me go
met in the seventh grade
we went separate roads
cause of some stupid shit i'd say
i just tore up all my clothes
courtesy of missing your face
if i finally break this mold
i'll thank you some day

i've sent too many sorries
and my phone is gonna die soon
i should've learned something
at least more than a thing or two
like what is worth to a person
who cherishes the dirt on their shoes
do i turn a blind eye to my own cries?
or fear the rest of my youth

this ain't just a knack
it's a passion
double shame on you 
for thinking all i do is actin'
part of me is straight
the rest is being held captive
living in a cavern where arachnids and bats been
constantly refracting

yeah, but i'm not worried about it
i'm entangled in this string
tryna gnaw my way out it
you had liked a post of mine 
a while back when i doubted
if i was truly good for nothing
based on how low the clouds been...

clouds to crows

clouds to crows [prod. mackk]

𝐢𝐥𝐲 𝐛𝐫𝐲𝐬𝐨𝐧<3

𝚜𝚑𝚒𝚣𝚞𝚔𝚎𝚜𝚊.
come around
ik im a fuck up jus a let down
but we could run away my love, from this town<3
gaze inside her eyes been filled w/ hate now
need 2 stay down
really need sum backup
u know ur the only one i want luv
cant fkn take this aching make my chest numb
you the one i want luv

𝚛𝚎𝚜𝚒𝚍𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚒𝚊𝚕.
cant even snap back 2 this snapchat
got 80 ounce in this backpack
making lame shit on this old mac
while my friends out in their pontiac
how are you so contagious
holding back on my anguish
'cardi rocks when im anxious
blood n mud on these pages
she dont talk but her eyes flirt
louis v n that black skirt
pulling up in that chrysler
bloody shirt n my chest hurts

𝚜𝚑𝚒𝚣𝚞𝚔𝚎𝚜𝚊. 𝚡 𝚛𝚎𝚜𝚒𝚍𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚒𝚊𝚕.
come around
ik im a fuck up jus a let down
but we could run away my love, from this town<3
gaze inside her eyes been filled w/ hate now
need 2 stay down
really need sum backup
u know ur the only one i want luv
cant fkn take this aching make my chest numb
you the one i want luv

ep w/ bry soon also~ if you've read this far then thank you all sm for all of the support this past year, and just in general if you listen to any of my stuff. it genuinely means the whole world. ily all sm<3

follow spotify!

let_down w/ residential. (ushanka boy)

[Chorus]
(Woah)
Take your time
I didn't plan this life
Take your time, honey
I didn't plan this life, honey

[Verse 1]
Up dosage sevenfold
Keeping the centerfold paper
Bag it and save it for later, baby
You don't got get me back later, baby
Lump in my throat (Oh)
The last time they leave on the [?] gotta go
Keep looking over my soul
Protect me, don't leave me alone
Requested to leave you alone
Buzzes inside of my phone make me look at the screen before all of the words from before hit me straight from my brain to my bones
I'm all alone

[Verse 2]
You don't gotta waste your time on me
Close to being fully empty
Just look over me
Eat my heart, take hold of me (Eat all my heart)
Tasting the pain
I feel no shame when I'm supposed to feel shame
I feel no lust when you call out my name
I can't think of your body no more, get away
I bathe in the gray, sleep in the gray
You got a colorful soul, I see graves
Look at my face, picking my brain
Suck out my thoughts from my vessels and veins
Dark parking lots where we sit in the rain
Not much to say when you've said all there is to say
Already said everything
Dump out emotions and they wash away in the drain
Mix with the sewage
Therapy, sympathy felt in the music
Scarily carefully flow, but it's fluid
Married and salary over six digits
I knew you could do it

[Chorus]
Take your time (Take your time)
I didn't plan this life
Ayy, take your time, honey
I didn't plan this life, honey

[Outro]
Oh, woah
Oh, woah
Oh, woah
Oh, woah

clouds to crows [prod. mackk]

autie