That im fucked up im the head 🥹🔥😤🥹

This made number 1 spot on my soundcloud 2023 playback ❤️

Featuring @sendflowrs
Produced by @hellahaunted & @sainttomorrow
Mixed & mastered by @horoshamusic
Logo by Dead & Detached

i been smoking too much like every day

who would'a thought that these drugs don't really numb all the pain

my eyes stay shut but i still see your face
i'm still so miserable

still feel unfulfilled


and ive been smoking too much like every day
since fifteen think it's rotting my brain

i got my windows closed but i still hear the rain

i don't like myself anymore

think i've changed

and while you sit there drunk on the side of the pave

do you ever think about those times in the cage

with your friends in the sun oh those times they have changed

now i'm sitting on my own thinking of life on a stage


thinkin of life on a stage

these days i'm alone 

take 3 blunts to the face

spend my days blazed just thinking of life in the states

shoutout jj
i'm tryna record everyday


i think i'm going straight to hell for those two years

if you didnt know im sad you must be new here

cliche dyed hair
i'm a loser

forever screaming on my own at a computer


i'm a loser and I know it
got it tatted on my sleeve just to show how much i own it
stay glued to my computer
writing sad songs and playing first-person shooters


watch me self-destruct

catch me yelling "nerf this"
while i'm rolling up another blunt


i used to do this for fun

now i do this on account of all of my bad luck

i been smoking too much like every day

who would'a thought that these drugs don't really numb all the pain

my eyes stay shut but i still see your face
i'm still so miserable

still feel unfulfilled


i'm still so miserable

still feel unfulfilled

i don't even know what i'm fighting for



Listen on Spotify!

Loser w/ sendflowrs (Prod. caves & Saint Tomorrow)

<3
prod me

lyrics:

I try to pick the pieces up like I used to be able to.
I needa stop givin a fuck and honestly u do too
bc its pointless
this never ending fucking conflict its like poison to us
its killin us both and I cant fuckin wait to change
and face it on my own 
but u gon stay the same?
okay.. i guess I'm back alone

when my world turn grey 
I look for some answers 
and all that they say is 
come home

babe are u serious 
we cant hold a convo thats serious…
so distant 

what if I wake up and everyone hates well maybe they already do
cant help but tread past feelings I detached I feel a ghost sometimes 

“do u wanna talk about it?”
they treat me like bitch so I kinda highly doubt it.
I hope that all my brothers and girl dont flake cus im rly kinda fucked up and I cant find my place in this 

ghosttown 
I wish woulda knew what I know now
goin down
the spiral that im used to I know now

u told me u want me to stay away 
well maybe I will u 
cut my lips

cut my lips

spotify

cut my lips.

PRODUCED BY TAURS AND JOLST 

usendflowrs: 

will you call home, just call home my visions clouded
wanna tear off my face when i think about it
x2

your love fills my health bar, can’t live without it
i’m low hearts, you’re cold i would never doubt it 
a lost soul in that cold, and never found it 
your personality lies in that cold snow 
she said she kinda scared
she want me to walk her home 
jus carry me thru everything
and please don’t let me go 
she a witch, she curse the medicine
i take when i’m alone 
she wanna lay me down 
and kiss me 
take my soul and watch me go 

nevermadeithome:

and i cant believe that i didnt see this 
she poisoned the apple when i eat it 
i cant read her books they make me speechless
one flick of her hair shes so reckless 

she'll eat your heart alive 
she gets her voodoo doll 
with a needle and she pokes me in the eye 
now ive gone fuckin blind 
i hope this is the last time 
that she conjures up a potion 
& im praying its the elixer of life x2

i kinda want you bad
but i know that youre no good for me 
youre just being sad so i fall for you
i kinda want you bad 
but i know that you’re no good for me 
and you’re just being sad so i fall for-

sendflowrs & nevermadeithome:

in that cold snow 
she said she kinda scared
she want me to walk her home 
jus carry me thru everything
and please don’t let me go 
she a witch, she curse the medicine
i take when i’m alone 
she wanna lay me down 
and kiss me 
take my soul and watch me go
x2

winterfell w/ nevermadeithome (taurs x jolst)

-NAVY-
i aint nothing
i aint nothing
do ur talking
i know u like it

u try to stop it
ur fuckin drugs which confinement are u hiding in, i cannot fuckin find it
-Hiraeth-
staring at the ceiling baby all i see is blood
u dont gotta call me now its nearly been a monf
u. aint gotta tell me that u luv me its a front
all my feelings are gone now u said u where done
i dont even wanna text you
i never thought id bean issue
"didnt mean to mistreat u"
my god have a reason

-NAVY-
but it wastes, wastes, wastes
been pullin on ur waist
im in space, space, space
aint nothin like it used to be
erased, reased, rased
im waiting on the day
putta 5 up to my head if u think u can run away
ima end it, end it, i hear voices in my basement

its hard to realize the sounds that fiddle in the distance
but you missed

-Hiraeth-
when i die would you let me grieve 
running out of skin 
nothing left of me
feel the marrow in my bone 
u gotta set me free
my god. 
my god would you let me breathe


-Sleepwater-
i wish u wouldent hurt me
the things u do desert me
so vacant for what concerns me
my bloods in ur vial turn me (into)
a dirty cheating scumbag
i know that i hate myself
i feel like a lost book that turned me down
i guess im just another hand me out

-NAVY-
im vacant, i stare blank, at the floor
theres nothing left, to mourn

-sleepwater-
im just not ur agony
you can lay me down, peacefully
I'm just, not ur agony


I Hear Screams In The Distance ft. hiraeth & sleepwater (prod. uforia)

prod. @sorrow_bringer 🖤


~~lyrics~~
fuck where’s the trust
leading lust, between us 
heating up, on the cusp 
self-destruct, blowing up
into dust
i wanna fall
(don't wanna fall)
into my own hellish spiral

fuck, gotta suffocate
just another day where i can’t breathe
out my airways
but, that’s what it takes
drowning in the sound of yourself
tryna climb the stairways

fate isn’t funny i could be dead
blow my brains out my fucking head
was it worth every second bled?
are you happy with yourself again?

co-depend, don’t forget
that i’m fucked up in the head
leavings cuts cause i’m not enough
and you won’t believe a single thing i said

i got too much on my plate
so i just puke it up & regurgitate
i do not fuck with the fate
pushing away the people
that would try to relate

trust my spirit
(where is the trust?!)
do you hear it now?
(i’m not enough)
it hurts falling down
just let me drown

fuck, gotta suffocate
just another day where i can’t breathe
out my airways
but, that’s what it takes
drowning in the sound of yourself
tryna climb the stairways

fate isn’t funny i could be dead
blew my brains out my fucking head
was it worth every second bled?
are you happy with yourself again?

i know what i’m doing, i know what i did
what i would give to go back to a kid
selfishness underneath my skin
to begin again, i would have to end
i’m a letdown, fight it off
hellbound, so fucking lost
count down, until i’m gone
ultimately i’m not what you want

(3x)
not what you want
(yeah…)

hellish spirals [prod. sorrowbringer]

[+] if you want my heart you gotta steal that </3
* featuring @lilskeleskrrt + @steadysuffer * produced by @prodjolst *

INSTAGRAM: www.instagram.com/seejayxo
TWITTER: www.twitter.com/seejayxo
DISCORD: www.discord.gg/DRfW7Q4Bmu

wanna go back

+ stream on spotify

wanna go back (feat. skele + steadysuffer)

OUT NOW ON STREAMING 
https://distrokid.com/hyperfollow/yokaidreams/heart-of-stone-feat-autumndropsdead

FOLLOW AUTUMN AHHH 
https://soundcloud.com/autumndropsdead


lyrics

yokai:

i can't be ur knight in shining armor
bitter woes just push me farther
and i lack any resolve to save u
don't do that just makes this harder
look me in the eyes, i need to calm down
this heart of stone, your steely gaze just might break thru

and i
understand if you hate me i do, oh i do
so try
to cope with the fact that i'm not the man that your'e used to

i can't be ur knight in shining armor
bitter woes just push me farther
and i lack any resolve to save u
don't do that just makes this harder
look me in the eyes, i need to calm down
this heart of stone, your steely gaze just might break thru

autumn:

but they don't know me, and they never will
just how much more's left to say? 
i'll take that shit and decay
but just not to my grave
lie to yourself out of pity
life's not right; imma fly out the city
say it'll be alright, okay?
i no longer believe what i say

knees are falling
i can smell the pollen
i'm fucking sick of random people calling
i don't have too much left to give
the thought of it is making me sick

turnt my face towards the tainted sky
it left me hurt, i don't know why

Heart Of Stone w/ autumndropsdead (in bloom)

produced by nevrfall, artwork by @punimonnn on instagram

ive been grinding too long and im tired of waiting
on me
its all about who you know, and nothing else
i dont wanna spend the time to see where im headed
imma quit this shit because i dont like the setting
"you got a new fan", thats what they said, i appreciate it, but,
i..
ill never see the better side
this is a goodbye letter
it was fun, but i gotta get better
and you should know that i cant get it like this
so imma get it somehow else, i swear
its not what i wanted to do, but i have to
lifes pale like blue
youre someone i knew.

a goodbye letter.

needed this to change
produced by @pekarot_161
featuring @lilskeleskrrt
mixed by nine to 5 and skele

lyrics:
nine to 5:
Now I'm left in the cold
Stary late night when my breathe turns to smoke
Living in the past when the rest still unfolds
I just wanna go back when my neck wasn't choked I'm
Stuck inside my mind when I'm passing
Highway signs eastbound we were laughing
Now I'm left with nothing but these memories flashing
gone within a moment and I don't know what happened

I can't get away, yeah theres nowhere I can run to
We've been everywhere, I can't begin to forget you
Your shadows everywhere around me even inside my room
Staring at the wall wishing that I was beside you

Living in this empty state of mind
Wander through this empty space
Lost because I know I'll never find
Anyone to take your place
Shivers running up and down my spine
Tears falling down my face
Knowing that I gave you all my heart
But you still needed this to change

Yeah you still needed this to change (still needed this, still needed this)
Yeah you still needed this to change (still needed this, still needed this)
Knowing that I gave you all my heart
But you still needed this to change

Knowing that I gave you all my heart
But you still needed this to change

skele:
I've been a part of you for too long
And I still write the same songs
I'll wait here forever love until I figure out what you want
It's never enough
Just break me down
And I'll stay put til you're done
I fucking gave you my heart

both:
I fucking gave you my all

nine to 5:
But it was never enough

nine to 5 and skele:
Living in this empty state of mind
Wander through this empty space
Lost because I know I'll never find
Anyone to take your place
Shivers running up and down my spine
Tears falling down my face
Knowing that I gave you all my heart
But you still needed this to change

Yeah you still needed this to change (still needed this, still needed this)
Yeah you still needed this to change (still needed this, still needed this)
Knowing that I gave you all my heart
But you still needed this to change

Yeah you still needed this to change (still needed this, still needed this)
Yeah you still needed this to change (still needed this, still needed this)
Knowing that I gave you all my heart
But you still needed this to change

Still needed this to change
Knowing that I gave you all my heart but you still needed this to change
Still needed this to change
Yeah you still needed this to change
Knowing that I gave you all my heart but you still needed this to change

needed this to change ft. skele (prod. pekarot)

produced by hero

completely non profit

lyrics

when her life is done n the credits roll on this movie screen
I was only ever credited as victim number 3
when the lights turn on n they all rush to take their leave
but I'm still here laying dead in this cinema seat
in truth I've been dead since 17
none of my feelings r free
they're kept under lock n key
no one needs to know about the pain I hold
heaven knows I've tried but I can't let this go

the lump I feel inside my chest when I'm all alone
tell me why u still the only thing that feels like fucking home
my eyes grow heavy as my heartbeat slows
I was promised death but still my soul refuse to go
oh no
just count it
take my brain n slut it out
take my drink n pour it out
take my dart n snuff it out
make me someone u won't doubt
that shit don't work I'm fucking out
what are plans they just fall out
n what r friends? just tell me now

what is love I think I've figured out
it's just a tool that she gon use for clout
she's an angel with a filthy mouth
and I'm a sinner with a Gucci pouch 
inside my pocket gotta quarter ounce
I got a smoke screen blowing out my house
so fuck me up and leave me to the hounds
I'm just a sinner with a Gucci pouch

I coughed up both lungs up on out of my chest
I've been here before so I'm not scared of my death
fell for the devil's whore n I can taste his breath
so what u try me for, when I've got nothing left?
but I have read these books
and I have read these texts
I've seen it all before
I know what happens next
I watch her lock that door
her lips run down his neck
u could've waited more
I guess that I digress 

n what is love I think I figured out
it's just a tool that she gon use for clout
she's an angel with a filthy mouth
n I'm a sinner with a Gucci pouch
inside my pocket got a quarter ounce 
I got a smoke screen blowing out my house
so fuck me up and leave me to the hounds
I'm just a sinner with a Gucci pouch


digress, i guess (hero)

produced by caves 
completely non profit

lyrics

U say he loves u like I somehow don't 
these words still hurt from out her perfect mouth
oh trust I'm happy that it all worked out

she said ur broken promise I don't mind
these conversations happen late at night
these empty bottles stack a mile high
my dart went out I think I need a light

I think our vices help us sleep alright
wrap my wounds make sure u wrap em tight
so every night I get to flying kites
Canna banner I fly this shit so high
my dart when out I think a need a light 
so she's a whore? I guess ur prolly right
still I can't change the way I feel inside
I am these broken promises and we are just alike

does it hurt that we won't talk again
she screams u lied n I said now n then
but why u acting like u innocent
I'm still choking up on all the words I thought I could of said

she said ur broken and we r just alike
these conversations happen late at night
look how u've grown look how the time will fly
my dart went out I think I need a light

we're just alike
late at night
these coversations right
they happen all the time
and from a mile high
I throw these bottles I
but still the time just flies
we're forced to say goodbye 

just alike (caves)

vocal problems//healing
 (indefinite hiatus)


thank you for being here

hellish spirals [prod. sorrowbringer]

autumndropsdead

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