autie

hysteria x melancholia

Biteki AMV: https://youtu.be/aMOX-qUEWMw
prod. farber
this 1 been in the works for a while 🖤
i hope some of you find relation & or clarity.
ft. @user-411557229

[autumn]
so seems you took away my breath
feels a little off where do i begin 
like oh~
why’d i get so bent 
starting to believe that i’m a bit obsessed
like oh~

cause i’ve always really wanted space
now i just wanna see your face
(see your face)

girl i want this bad
i told you that
i’m not just sad
my world’s been plaid

hello?
praying you’d pick up the phone 
how’d it go?
being on your god damn own

so seems you took away my breath
feels a little off where do i begin 
like oh~
why’d i get so bent 
starting to believe that i’m a bit obsessed
like oh~

[not home.]
they wanna be me
she gonna leave me
for somebody new
off of the shrooms
cold in my room 
lost in the ceiling
look at the moon

[autumn & not home.] 
(2x)
look at my face when you’re talking
(when you’re talking)
i get bored so i smoke now i’m coughing
(bitch i’m coughing)
all the friends at the house 
now i’m yawning
(what the fuck bitch)
they be chasing all the
shit up in my pockets

obsessed w/ not home. [prod. farber]

https://soundcloud.com/autumndropsdead
https://soundcloud.com/nate2timezz

lyrics:
if i down that substance, maybe i can manage
fading in the night by dealing me some damage
it'd be nice if you'd check on me
by the morning sun, i forget these things
bit off more than i can chew
like i'm addicted to losing
you can't handle the truth
so you treat me like a nuisance
but i keep moving
keep moving
keep moving
i keep moving

by expression alone i can tell you ain't down
maybe i would cop a feel if you would crop me out
feel like that i've been a b*tch  and a c*nt to my close friends
but they tell me otherwise, that must be a sign of progress
but i never leave the house
i blame it on my traumas
the insomnia shrinks any chance to withdraw them
i don't feel love anyways
it's like i should've known in the first place
and really wouldn't mind if we talked more often
with my chances gone, i'm left to live with nonsense
but don't leave bl**d bad
at least bring it to a broil
crush your regrets like a can made of foil
do the stars shine through the darkest nights at their own will?
my lights ain't bright for those who don't feel real
my thoughts aligned, don't lie
i can see through your blinds
don't talk to me nice

but i just
want you to hear me out
i'm throwing in the towel
splinters in my cells
got em swelling well
'till i'm raising hell
so now, have i got your attention?
it's only so long 'till i cave in
i've always had pure intentions
and if you don't believe me
i guess that's the way that the world's gonna treat me

if i ain't counting sheep, then i'm part of the herd
if the wolf's so bad, why his bites ain't hurt?
maybe it sees like me
because i breathe to bleed
but maybe that's just me and my extremities
i got a rushed pulse, but my breath's still shallow
i ain't decompress 'cause i'm housing these shadows
they ain't wanna battle
i hear their rattles
i'll help you my friends, let me become your paddle
but wait, i'm quite fragile, you'll break me in half
though on second thought, that might not be half bad
'cause my dreams try to kill me, just to heal me
infatuation ain't ever the real thing
that sh*t don't reflect who you are
tucked in this corpse i feel comfortably harmed
don't help me out
i'm already numb

if i down that substance, maybe i can manage
fading in the night by dealing me some damage
it'd be nice if you'd check on me
by the morning sun, i forget these things
bit off more than i can chew
like i'm addicted to losing
you can't handle the truth
so you treat me like a nuisance
but i keep moving
keep moving
keep moving
i keep moving

(covered in the sounds)
(drowning out) (2x)
i wouldn't wanna go back
'cause i know all that i lack
(is that so wrong..)

autumndropsdead - broil (nate2timez)

https://soundcloud.com/autumndropsdead
https://soundcloud.com/nate2timezz

lyrics:
impractical use of your head
you kept up your walls, blocking out all your friends
eta; some hours
i'll probably be sober
to realize i still hate myself and grown colder
distain
(exhausted and jaded)
your headspace
(show no relation)
stained gray and faceless

refraining from the actions
that'll probably f*ck me further
i miss not pertaining all this weight
and worrying bout the future
but don't get me wrong,
i love all my friends
i hardly reach out, but they know how it is
just a burnt out soul in a tie-dyed kid
when the colors all fade, then the bl**d dries thin
got chilled-out wind in my lungs
winter has pa**ed, but i can't see the sun
waving away to the ones that i love
that difficulty ain't apparent at all
so inconsiderate, i need a light
so f*cking tired of wasting my time
put their heart inside of mine
(inside of mine)
(i'm out of time)
(f*ck)
(out of time..)
(tiedyed.)

autumndropsdead - tiedyed (nate2timez)

https://soundcloud.com/autumndropsdead
https://soundcloud.com/nate2timezz

lyrics:
(latency's far)
(i'm picking at scars, again..)

'cause i've been losing strength in my arms
and the warmth in my heart
pick it up, toss it out
feelings shank, feel it sharp

(i've been losing strength in my arms again)

if they complain i'm the worst, then i'll let it hurt
'cause i'm apathetic at best
i'll let it get on my nerves, like i live in reverse
while you b*tch in' and nag, i destress
chardonne in my chest
i'd check my phone but that ego's myself
'till i'm pressed
fluid cardiac arrest
outta my dome, 'till i'm ghost
matter of fact i'm repressed

when i step outside i just fall through the flooring
and you step aside when i'm entering pouring my state of array
every sec of the day, so i turn to the blade but if it goes in deeper
then i may as well make a date with the reaper
and lower concern for myself as a seeker
cause i wasn't fit to bestow what they wanted
trickling stones like an amateur novice

with no sense of balance nor care where they landed
if you would've just realized why this happens
then i wouldn't cry or feel so f*cking captive
and hurt, and alone as i lie on my mattress
and shout to the ma**es, 'bout all of my feelings
fixated on rippin' this notion of healing
apart in the dark, it ain't smart, but they'll hear me
at least to the point where the hurt is appealing

"if you care, why don't you show it?"
"is it because you're a poet?"
b*tch , i'm eternally broken
quit treating me like a hoax
'cause they all disappear when i'm at my lowest
i've been holding up this lantern to glow on it's own
and i feel like spyro, flames in a spiral
back like it's spinal, i've been on my own sh*t
but every little thought that tortures me
are the only ones that help when i lack empathy
confine the lies and shallow tears
oh you're ignorance is something i don't wanna hear

a pa**erby lulling lowered eyes
hope you feel alright for the new year
'cause i stand at the front lines,
it's hypocritical and nuclear
decapitated from my patience
had to wait and let it grow
morals shrink the moment we quit nurturing our weary bones

autumndropsdead - spyro (nate2timez x pekarot x autumndropsdead)

all instrumental rights belong to @idealismus
(completely non-profit)


legs shaking
sitting down's not enough, still vacant
just erase me
head down when i walk, they gazing
why talk when you know not a word getting through now
i don't wanna
but still gotta
be not a brain rotter

souls may tie
turn cries to weeps
don't try to be so kind to me
be my relief, so kill me now

make it my fault
just enough for the guilt to be wiped off
don't really care what they lied for

three down, feeling tipsed, no staging
falling used to feel amazing
my voice stay shaking
i'm sorry for the drinking

by the morning i mourn some more
throat burnt, puke all on the floor
i swore i used to be more than this
borderless, now i'm losing time
no love could be enough
but you said, "don't close in
you were meant for me, stay open."
thought clouds clear up real nice
but it's only for the night (3x)

respite [prod. idealism]

production by @neohnq
vocals by @1akura

-
dont look back

plats Soon

. . .

akura - save me (neohn)

@victxrw @ihateukidu <3

the silence is scaring me
its getting too loud
i lost a person thats close to me
i miss u around
i know ur miles away
this shit keeps me up awake
pls dont forget me
im begging
keep me in ur mind

cus im terrified, dont know where we'll be
cus im terrified please stick close to me
need a piece of mind, tell me that ur safe
so ill close my eyes and ill do what it takes

someone tell me that its all in my head
all these haunted memories cant forget
took a piece of me the day that we met
i dont wanna live this life with regrets

i keep falling for ur lies
this happens everytime
its that look thats in ur eyes
it keeps me so deprived
baby i live in my mind
it keeps me up at night
so ill stop chasing the high
and leave our love behind

@victxrw
woah, yea i'll leave it all behind me
if u dont then i know what ur hiding
the everfrost upon my fingers just wont let me let go
u tell me all the different wrongs i did i already know

i cant lie i cant help but think of u
tell me all the things i couldnt do
the catacombs of my mind are filled with u
u ruined me u never thought it through
can u blame me
cant save me
going crazy trynna not go crazy
can u blame me
cant save me

akura:
someone tell me that its all in my head
all these haunted memories cant forget
took a piece of me the day that we met
i dont wanna live this life with regrets

(cant save meeee)

what it takes +victxrw (kidu)

hi, i'm mesmerized at the sight of you flyin'
i watch from my cot, but never thought of tryin'
just what is there for me to confide in?..

intro: impasse

@1akura @rewind214

its been long enough all the tears dried
I started moving on I stopped asking why 
cuz every time I try to trust you all you do is lie
you wont let me in your heart i should just take the sign
its been long enough all the tears dried
I started moving on I stopped asking why 
cuz every time I try to trust you all you do is lie
you wont let me in your heart i should just take the sign

Im way too wishful
I just keep on getting hurt it adds the insult
and it just keeps on getting worse Im so forgetful
I dont wanna think bout her I get remissful
I keep tripping myself over Im falling down and down
you kept giving me cold shoulder and now youre not around
and even though that we dont talk I just hope youre happy now
cuz what I want for both of us is to be just safe and sound

wishful (akura + rewind)

I’m still chained feeling hopeless 
Feels like you could leave any moment 
Nothing on your face your heart stays frozen 
Trust leaves the second you earn it 
Eyes on me when I try to go unnoticed 
Waste away still tryna Find a purpose

Treat me like I’m the one split me in to two 
I don’t keep receipts trust that what you say is true 
Crying in my sleep baby I’m still stuck on you 
Crying in my sleep cuz I’m in love with you 

All my dreams they haunt me 
I fear they wanna harm me 
My baby smokes like Marley 
sober like it’s Marley and me 
Drink sometimes but hardly 
Total 180 
No one knows now, this is not like me

Still Chained, Feeling Hopeless

song with @akura1 next on @afterstoryx
@decago

###

ill be dead by the morning
i hope that u find me,,
the dismembered pieces 
& parts of my body,,,,

u say that u cut me
i think that u scarred me
i want u to need me
i want u to want me!!!!

tell me did i cut too deep?
or cut too slow...
the bonds i break
are the bonds i know,,,,

tell me if u wear my skin
or breathe my soul
my heartstrings beat
and my blood runs cold

and its death till we parted
all that i see is all that i wanted

know u hate when i leave 
but u love when im walkin

its a murder to meee
got ur heart in a locket