Beat by Ryini Beats

[Verse One]

I’m having trouble adjusting
Social skills have been rusting
As dust settles down in my mind
I’m getting better at trusting
That must count for something right?

Always rushed in,
What’s the use of discussions, it always turns out like a light
It’s nothing,
Why do I act so flustered then,
If I ain’t got nothing to hide?

Self-destruction (thrusts in),
Swirling vocal percussion, as I’m laying tucked in at night,
One thousand cuts to tough skin still sucks
My suffering has just served to roughen the knife

It’s disgusting,
I’ve tended to lying and bluffing 
In the stuff that I type
You think I’m laughing out loud, and kissing and hugging,
While I’m thinking “fuck my life”

[Chorus]

Momma didn’t raise no quitter but she shouted a lot
Father made mistakes and hit her, we all pouted and fought
Things are Ok, I made my own way, and flavour of mistakes, from the chaos that I’ve wrought,
I’ve ended up jaded and bitter, how could I not?

[Verse Two]

And I’m trying real hard
No more cigarettes at the bar
No more drinking,
Or getting so mad
Don’t wanna end up like that

I’ll just focus on the art,
Not a partner who’s a sofa apart,
I’ve broken my heart, I don’t want to look back
And think that’s the best I ever had

So I pace around the yard (in the rain),
Get counselling to tame that racing my brain does, chasing all the facts
Erase some mistakes and replace some bad habits,
I need a bit of faith, to change the way I act

Lest it all goes dark,
And I become some recluse, armed with an excuse to hide my face behind a mask,
“How’s it going?” “Hey don’t ask”
Don’t they say “touch grass”

Misc

No Quitter

They ask me how i am, i just say i'm fine
lately i'm a plain guy
operating like an A.I.
backing up my save file
in my head killing everyone then resetting
i'm insane
why? i just shift the blame
life's a strange a ride
i've cried and made way too many grey skies
to play nice and stay lying low in my hay pile
there's a needle in my brain changing the way it's wired
my face tired, and i pace back and forth in my place
whiteboarding a trace of all my morbid mistakes
and all the torment it takes to stay on form in this race
that's so important to chase
in the daylight
it seems wrong but far as effort i ain't got much left so either way is right
i see a loose end of the tunnel in my ray of sight
and every goal is a sporting event watching the players fight
i swear there's like

6 billion other motherfuckers like me
who dunno what they're doing, not knowing where they're going and questioning who they're knowing, just assuming that we're screwed and i agree, when nothing left works then whos gonna hire me?

All you other motherfuckers like me, mulling round in matrix moments hooked to an IV because its way more fun when it's all said and done to look down the gun, not just close your eyes and see

i had this weird realisation life is passing
im only twenty three
but see thats three more than i ever believed i would achieve way back then
when i considered leaving
weep or grab a napkin
i dont need your sympathy but you'd be forgiven if you thought that i seemed i needed it the way that ive been rapping
the truth is im a never have had who never wanted for much just a dad who calls back when i ask him
i only grant happiness, im the genie of the lamp that ive been trapped in
the track that backspins, glass up on a matress, nails on a chalkboard just having this accent
im on a tangent
not how i planned it
but its candid, talking in past tense
see through this mask like a massive glass fence
"man im okay, im fine"
and watch man's mental health decline in a kinda abstract sense

It's sad there's so many motherfuckers like me

Miscellaneous

Like Me

♥ on HYPEM: bit.ly/strangehype

iTunes:  smarturl.it/ItsStrange
Spotify: smarturl.it/itsstrangespotify 

⚽️ Featured in FIFA 16 ⚽️ 

@kflay 
facebook.com/kflaymusic
twitter.com/kflay

@louisthechild
facebook.com/louisthechild
twitter.com/louisthechild 

@nextwaverecs
facebook.com/nextwaverecs
twitter.com/nextwaverecs

Artwork by: Sam Chirnside

Buy on iTunes

It's Strange (Ft. K.Flay)

Lyrics:

[Verse One]
Sitting thumb twiddling
Wasting the fun minutes
Feel like a dumb kid again
But I'm happy
Fit in the sun sizzling
only begun to settle in
let your feet run, pedalling
to this rap beat
Full of contentment
and my sentiment centred around the elephants in the room we don't venture to mention
or ever were said to have entered we'd resent that we're friends in end I'm bent round the pencil in this one tenement
But there's some benefits
to being chill in the face of evil and seeing the best in people for the hell of it
For these three minutes your grievances irrelevant
and when I'm in my dwelling mellow I try not to dwell on it
Lying back and reminiscing 
on the times that petrol was less efficient
and I had better vision
but i was still blessed with extra wishing
the vessel and destination yet to picked
and i was yet to be different
we don't get to be living in careful bliss
without revisiting past events in our head
til they're blizzarding (spinning, scissoring?)
and the memory that they shed in the visage of what we said's an effective reflection of what we're missing
listen

[Chorus]
I'm feeling like my history is B-List
I'm feeling like my future ain't the greenest
But with this breeze of my tee
there ain't no reason to be defeatist
kick my feet up and let the pianist relieve himself and breathe in the sweet bliss

[Verse Two]
Wish I could bottle this moment
it's not a unique thought
or some kind of omen
But i don't ever wanna speak taut
Battle with what my sleep's fraught
with not off to clean start
does she love me or does she love me not
mother earth's cheap talk
couldn't work on me brother
i see the beauty of life between my sheet covers
i don't know why anybody would wanna go and beat others
i don't know why anybody would wanna go be lovers
There's so much noise in the crowd
people voicing their doubts
stuck in a poisonous drought
pointing their pointlessness out
looking like boys in a shroud
a bunch of toys in the crib
look how my poise it is proud
because i drown out the shit
relax, take the hourglass and flip it
you just got 60 more minutes
til you finish, live it
to the limits, and when you spirit off to heaven or some prison in the pits of existence I'll come and visit

[Bridge]
sometimes we need to take a break
but sometimes we don't have some time
this is the mantra on my brain that's been keeping me awake
attempting to let my grasp unwind
but i'll appreciate my mistakes
every second on this planet
i can manage just to crack a smile
we set our own goals own hopes own fears
in old years i just hope I relay it back to a child
but right now

Audio from Robert Waldinger's 'What makes a good life?' TED Talk
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8KkKuTCFvzI

Bliss

After a long year of transformation, both in mind, spirit, and music, I decided to compile together the best instrumental beats not used on my own rap.  The result was an EP that really speaks to a year of chaos, fear, and pure love and happiness.  Awoken truly represents what it's like to come to terms with reality and to truly start living with an open mind.

Conversation (Instrumental)

Power (Instrumental)

Momentary (Instrumental)

Wake Up (Instrumental)

Wayfare is an instrumental EP compiled from a few instrumentals I have created over the last month or so.  No samples were used, everything was made in Maschine and then mixed in FL.  Music for me is very kinetic, and it helps me come to terms not only with my life but with the people I interact with every day.  Wayfare is about enjoying the journey of life, no matter what is thrown at you; sometimes the worst memories are the ones that stay with you forever.

Empty Spaces (Instrumental)

All songs written and produced by the artist.

All songs recorded by Logan Barnes except:
Songs 1 and 5 recorded by Ryan Johnson at Music Studio 307 Stafford, CT

All songs mixed by Logan Barnes except:
Songs 1, 4, 5, and 10 mixed by Ryan Johnson

The Bluest Season

Lifted

Spotify

sometimes I wish that I was a cat
so I would land on my feet
instead that on my back

https://open.spotify.com/user/stream_error/playlist/6ExRhGqyo1PyqGWxLw0NoH

featured on the one and only @chilledcow 
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7zS3or1GwpA

sometimes

I write music as a form of personal therapy. Feel free to listen, too.

Bliss

Avery