prod xona <3

@heylog

-lyrics-
oh I might try
to end myself and neglect my health and I don’t need one more-
reason to live, I don’t need a friend
I could care less :/
for her help and I don’t need no pills to keep me held
but I’ve tried 2much,  2much right now..
but I can lie and that’s alright (:
but all my friends
push me on edge
and they do not sense
on why I feel dead..
oh I might try
to end myself and neglect my health and I don’t need one more-
reason to live!
I don’t need a friend
I could care less :/
for her help and I don’t need no pills to keep me held

oh i might cry :,(
when this blade touches my skin
i don't need remorse
for all the sins that i commit
i don't need a friend
to tell me what i'm doing wrong
you think i don't know this
i could tell you the exact same thing
you better watch your back
i see the folks you call your friends will try hurt you
don't be surprised when it happens
cause i was surprised when it happened 
hating on myself
makes the 2 of us
no i don't need help
or any pill
the story of my life
i gotta chill
feel like pennywise
giving me a thrill

spotify

care w/ heylog♡

<//3

w @heylog
produced by sleepwater
lyrics:

i don't think that i feel it
my stomach can't heal it
my heart i warn you
surround me i turn blue
you doubt me you flew
you drowning in sloot
my heart break in 2
im ready to die
cos i left ur side
i kick back and cry
this where i resite
i laugh at myself
its good for my health (oh no)
whats that on my the shelf (oh no)
i think its yourself (oh no)

ash blonde hair i need you now
carve my life thru the fields im a tree in the ground
i can't feel my fucking heart so why does it go pound pound pound
i sense you wanna dart, so why
 dont u wannaa stay, now

i can sense the fear ik our loves linear now
feeling like a tree thats never gonna grow; help
beat me black and blue with all the words you spew pal
you could save him now but i don't think he wants you now

heylog:

your pretty little words are meshed and i don't feel them
i'm to the point where i just lost every feeling
i still wouldn't feel a thing if i had a million friends
i'm getting closer everyday to ending it
the sun falls and creeps through my window
it's blinding me, now orange is painted on my walls
the same colour i saw when i fell in love
when i see it again i just can't get enough
can someone end my life, i don't wanna be here at all..
i'm past the part where i care at all
that's when i know shits getting bad
and i wonder how long this'll last

tree w/heylog

produced by sleepwater leftquiet and heylog
w @heylog

im losing faith and abilities
i wish i was brave im never at ease
what did you say to me
nothing was made for me
nothing went the way of the willow
ill sit right here and wait by my window

picking leaves for you to see
i hate these trees when i cant breathe
im sick of me i said too much
i hate myself not scared to crush
im not scared to crush
i hate myself
not fair no touch
i did this to myself

come destroy me now i rlly wanna know
i locked inside your arms
i hate the way it goes
im locked inside a farm 
while u remove his coat
ive never had the time 
to let anyone close

heylog:
just a log and a tree standing open in fields
rough times for a being if u don't know how to heal
kill me lover, push below the ground
oh i can't stand it here, not even an ounce
oh you
oh my
come back
to my side
i dont know myself
dont go ill stay and get help

no i dont miss you
hate what u done to me
say that your in love me
200 hundred days
where i would see you
i made a mistake
now i cant see you

fields w/heylog

produced by: @tnvr555
vocals and lyrics by: me and @heylog

lyrics:
just a sec, i needa bit to catch my breath
i try to hold onto what's left
but it seems that you're leaving again
and i saw your face
you're laughing at the back of the room
you're with someone and i can assume that
you have moved on, so soon
(you have moved on, so soon)

and this jealousy consumes at my mind
i can't believe that you're not mine
it gets harder to breathe, when you're not laying next to me
i think i've fallen in too deep

summer's coming round the corner, i can't wait to be warm
the uv's high so we lay some blankets out on the porch
and do you remember what you said to me
our past is something hard to believe
don't go
cause i don't want anybody else
oh no
i really don't want anybody now
i'm edging toward the ground
but that's what happens all the time as soon as life goes on
to you i'm not important
and i hope i'm wrong
without you it's harder to breathe
cause you're not laying next to me

and this jealousy consumes at my mind
i can't believe that you're not mine
it gets harder to breathe, when you're not laying next to me
(not laying next to me)
and this jealousy consumes at my mind
i can't believe that you're not mine
it gets harder to breathe, when you're not laying next to me
i think I've fallen in too deep

hope every1 has a good day/night xx

jealousy w/ heylog (tnvr)

lina - heylog (transparent)

prod by me :>

(skylin)
all the hatred that you're giving me is only poisoning
at least with my enemies i know what it is they seek
I rather judas instead of someone backstabbing me
oh you're pathetic askin me if I would forgive you

I never go out or talk to people like I know I should
it's easier not engaging and hiding inside my hood
sometimes I tend to fail myself and everyone around me
I guess it kinda scared me from socially interacting

on the darkest days I don't know who it is that I will call
but I am hoping you answer because im bout to fall
and I don't know where I am going but ik you know it all
so I am calling out to you please do not let me fall


(heylog)
catch me on the other end
what i said i really meant
what are all the thoughts your brain holds
what's inside that head
i think i finally figured you out
i think it's time to step out your life now
i don't know what i did for you to become untied to me
if you're gonna act like this then break it off entirely
and if i would've known your emotions would all start piling
then i would've kept it hush instead of you crying to me
i was there for you when no one else was
now i'm seeing the truth and exposing your bluffs
i was there for you at your lowest point
don't go and blame it on me, this wasn't my choice

[[anger - disconnect]]

traitor w/heylog

traitor w/ heylog (Now on Spotify)

hey guys hope u enjoy this new track.
shoutout to @prodjpjp for the production
& shoutout to @heylog for hopping on it 

LYRICS:
All my friends have turned to strangers
Am I really all alone?
Tell me truth and don't be jaded
Where have you been all night long?
I'm all alone
Struggling to get off my phone
Yeah, I think we did this all wrong
And I cannot get over it
I shouldn't feel this way, not at this young age

So I run, I swear
It's all I've got left in my shitty bones
And you love to leave
Whenever I need you here with me most
Is it all in my head?
All alone to the end?
I guess I'll never know
But I wish you the best
For whatever comes next
'Cause now I'm leaving home

(I'm leaving home)
Uh, so imma leave all my vices
Leave all the memories
Leave all the trauma
You was just my enemy
You're not a friend of me
I see that now it's clear as day
So, it's time to runaway

So I run, I swear
It's all I've got left in my shitty bones
And you love to leave
Whenever I need you here with me most
Is it all in my head?
All alone to the end?
I guess I’ll never know
But I wish you the best 
For whatever comes next
'Cause now I'm leaving home

What has my life become?
Can't think how I once was
All these years gone by so fast
How come I still look back?
This blonde boy I used to be
Smiled big and was happy
Now everybody's watching
I hate it to be honest
The past few years have felt this way
And oh I've had so much to say
Thinking I'll get over it
There's a lot here to digest
Another person disrespects
I'm keeping guard oh, yet again
Maybe I should unalive
Piss right off and from my life

bones w/ heylog (jpjp)

Prod ERXN & heylog

every photo, im not recognised
its always black and white, with some grain inside
you would think that i was tryna hide
im really not i just hate what i see

you wouldnt like it no doubt
ill force my hand over your mouth
youre half the size of me now
bruise on your knees start to sprout

look to my left, im in a forest where im tryna find 
a piece of you that just keeps falling down beside my side
i ran right through the forest path we did a thousand times
im scared that I wont make it back I might of lost my mind 
might of broke down for a minute but its cool 
image distorted in my vision when you call 
i know its just anxiety but if its more 

ima need a Prozac for this 
if you never loved me that's shit 
keep me out of line like im wearing high viz 
keep me outside like im never not in 
if you need me il die il tell you im in 
see me outside come around real quick 
baby I know the way to try and get your hate out 
click it back and put it to my face now

man i wish that she was close
hanging out, youre on the phone
think that i just found a home
hopefully we'll always grow
11 days until i board my flight
i just gotta know if youre worth my time
moving on to better things
she found me, shes in love w me
she always wants to say my name
yeah all she does is say my name
and i love her honesty
you really put my mind at ease
she wants to call me everyday
just so she can say my name

Spotify

BRUISE w/ hiraeth & heylog


Freddie walked the halls with his head held low
Whispers and laughter everywhere he’d go
They pushed him down, said he’d never shine
But in his heart burned a fire they couldn’t hide

All the nights he cried, feeling so small
Dreamed of a stage that could hold it all

Don’t worry, Freddie, the world will see
All the pain turns to melody
Don’t worry, Freddie, you’re meant to be
A star in the dark, shining endlessly

Nine-to-five, the office walls were gray
Bosses and colleagues tried to tear him away
He hated the suits, the rules, the lies
But he kept his music alive inside

All the rejection, all the cold
Built a strength that glowed like gold
Don’t worry, Freddie, the world will see
All the pain turns to melody
Don’t worry, Freddie, you’re meant to be
A star in the dark, shining endlessly
Young Freddie, my dear
He’s dancing free, he’s touching the sky
He’s dancing free, he’s touching the sky
He’s dancing free, he’s touching the sky

Don’t worry, Freddie, the world will see
All the pain turns to melody
Don’t worry, Freddie, you’re meant to be
A star in the dark, shining endlessly

Don’t worry, Freddie…
Don’t worry, Freddie…
Now the world sings your song… and you belong


DON’T WORRY FREDDIE

[7in7] Session 6, Day 1 - Monster

VERSE: Tell me where you go
I’ll tell you where you been
I’m tellin’ you I know
The beast you keep within

PRE-CHORUS:
You are not alone here in the dark, no 

VERSE 2:
Tell me what you want
I’ll tell you what you need
Tell me what makes your eyes glow
I’ll tell you what makes your heart beat

PRE-CHORUS:
You are not alone here in the dark, no

CHORUS:
I hear you howl at the moon
I hear you crying out
I know what you wanna do
Cause I am just like you
I am a monster
I am a monster

VERSE 3:
Tell me how it feels
To hold it all inside
To know you can’t reveal
Everything you hide

PRE-CHORUS:
You are not alone here in the dark, no

CHORUS:
I hear you howl at the moon
I hear you crying out
I know what you wanna do
Cause I am just like you
I hear you howl at the moon
I hear you crying out
I know what you wanna do
Cause I am just like you
I am a monster
I am a monster
I am a monster
I am a monster


Monster

featuring @sewerperson
produced by heylog

lyrics:
(heylog)
killing all the memories cant get them out my head
do u think you'll remember me what a great way to end
now she's giving me goosebumps, up and down my skin
i don't wanna hurt u, but we were getting tense
i despise u cus i really tried my best
but was there something wrong with anything i did
this fire burns
it's burning out my chest
my hairs developing curls
she run it with her nails

i left her a note but i kept it secret in my head
guess you'll never know what i had wrote or what i said
let me clear the air i don't consider you a friend
oh how we were toxic it was to our benefit
if u truly love her go and say it to her face
but he never will he only spoke it thru the pain
his scars present a symbol she will carry with attain
and she looks at him with disgust and hatred and with vain
she let him slip by but who's the one that holds the blame
she dont care cus she got guys who provide all the needs she craves
cus he could never satisfy her so he solved it on a blade
she acted like she cared but it was nothing but a fake

i don't know how to act right i guess
and u should prolly leave don't want a witness
calling down to the 2 friends i have
but they ain't never here i crave ur love bad
so i don't know how to act right i guess
and u should prolly leave don't want a witness
calling down to the 2 friends i have
but they ain't never here i crave ur love bad
SO I DON'T KNOW HOW TO ACT RIGHT I GUESS
AND SHE'S MINDLESS TALKING BACK WITH HER EX
BUT HE NEVER LOVED HER, ONLY LOVED THE SEX
I GIVE UP I'M SO DONE WITH THIS

(sewerperson)
thru the wind i smell the blood
it tastes to me like broken heart
i know i feel though my body cold
and hungry reaching out for more
peaceful i could sleep peaceful finally
breaks in the trees in my bed pines needle my heart
im still deep in the rows all despite the fresh start and its killing me
im just not myself for the time being
promise u baby i’ve changed i swear
bodies in the garden behind my stairs
i just woke up with em laying right there
crush crush crush all these bugs in my hair
guess i came back from the dead for a moment
i cannot speak with my mouth sewn shut
broke open
welcome to the end you’ve chosen

kill all the memories can’t get them out my head
do u think you’ll remember me what a great way to end
even if I was what they said 
would you still love me then

bones w/ heylog (jpjp)

B Murph