prod fats'e
w/
@heylog  &
@lilskeleskrrt

lyrics:

heylog:
ur across the states, i wish it wasn't the truth
it's either them or me, now ur gone.. you had to choose
so i gave you a piece of art i took time and drew
u can keep it forever, i hope it stays with u
you've got so much ahead of u and goals to accomplish
while i make a song saying "log u need to top this"
but god i'm tired and the struggle is real
i died and came back to life, now i can't feel

fats'e:
life goes on
can't say i didn't try
just not hard enough
found a new timeline
just tossed to the side
died and came back to life

we both come undone
feeling stuck in a loop
that i can't seem to outrun
feeling stuck in a loop can't escape

skele:
n god i’d love to talk 
but look just not right now 
got some shit to say 
i jus don’t know how 
i spent like every night alone jus fucking dreaming of you 
n love i know your hurting 
it kills me too 

n tell me why 
it always gets so hard 
getting out of bed 
feels like i’m heading to war 
n if i saw the reaper know he’d take me for sure
breaking down alone 
i put my head to the door 

i don’t get it 
i thought i was better 
u said it 
so why can’t i remember 
i’m sick of living like this 
i hate the medicine 
im sick of crying like this 
it never fucking ends 

n at this point think i’ve died twice 
really good at fucking up my life 
n i don’t care if you love me
i just need you to lie 
life goes on, i just don’t wanna try 
i got used to all the pain inside

died and came back to life (w/ heylog & skele)

7/28/22
prod. @everythingmackk

i've sent too many sorries
and my phone is gonna die soon
i should've learned something
at least more than a thing or two
like what is worth to a person
who cherishes the dirt on their shoes
do i turn a blind eye to my own cries?
or fear the rest of my youth

cause i don't wanna force who i am
as i pour another cup, with trembling hands
over half of my life's being made without plans
i get it; if i made a choice, 
i'd surely regret it
but most of all my worries,
i can't fit them in the pensmanship
you simply wouldn't get it
even if you really listening
the center of my soul don't only glow
it's also glistening
my demons start to part as i'm
pouring the nitroglycerin

it only feels like i'm here when i'm
stun-locked in third gear, and a 
dozen million miles away from reality
i hope forever ain't forever
unless it has to be
cause i don't wanna go out in misery
let go, of whatever this meant to me
fuck that
imma go on a killing spree

emma, i'm sorry for everything.

it's my fault you let me go
met in the seventh grade
we went separate roads
cause of some stupid shit i'd say
i just tore up all my clothes
courtesy of missing your face
if i finally break this mold
i'll thank you some day

i've sent too many sorries
and my phone is gonna die soon
i should've learned something
at least more than a thing or two
like what is worth to a person
who cherishes the dirt on their shoes
do i turn a blind eye to my own cries?
or fear the rest of my youth

this ain't just a knack
it's a passion
double shame on you 
for thinking all i do is actin'
part of me is straight
the rest is being held captive
living in a cavern where arachnids and bats been
constantly refracting

yeah, but i'm not worried about it
i'm entangled in this string
tryna gnaw my way out it
you had liked a post of mine 
a while back when i doubted
if i was truly good for nothing
based on how low the clouds been...

clouds to crows

clouds to crows [prod. mackk]

i want you to see me like i'm nothing more than flesh 

w/ @heylog

prod: https://soundcloud.com/eric-godlow
master: https://soundcloud.com/ezraspandora 

looking back baby,
i already was hollow
toss it back 
way too fast 
till i get through the bottle
i don't wanna leave this club
i just wanna drink 
until i throw it all up
(lock me up)
want you to squeeze until i'm leaking out blood
i wanna see just how it feels to go numb
i wanna feel it on the tip of my tongue
let's fuck it up until we're going out bad 
let's break it all apart until there's nothing fucking left
cause i want you to see me like i'm nothing more than flesh 
and i want you to tell me i'm a waste of fucking breath
oh i'm terrible 
i'm the reason you're falling 
unbearable 
i'm the bones in your closet
i still just wanna see you get out 
there's nothing left for me to be now

damn it all 
pray for what 
there's nobody there
(i'm too far gone)
tell me why 
i wanted you then 
i want you now

heylog:
i'm chillin at a party, why'd i decide to go out
wish i just stayed home but i been stuck inside my house
i don't even care, i'd much rather be sober
she hung around the bottles and i could tell it broke her
i'm glad i can't relate cause i've never had that problem
you told me i'm rude for that but hey, i'm being honest
i would never lie to you, just want you to stop it
i could up and go, i've got plenty of options
quit talking, ur just holding me back
it's safe to say, tonight ur getting trashed
take a second to breathe, ik ur sad
you don't have to drink it away, could you relax
she phones her girls for a ride at 3am
can't even walk to her room, she needs a hand
throwing up all the time, she's used to it
friday night rolls around and repeat it

tip of my tongue (w/ heylog) (prod. eric godlow)

prod hira <3

cleaning his blood with my sword
staring my eyes kinda sore
are you trying to look like a whore
put a guard up shes breaking my wall

she kept calling every number on my phone
texting people there that i dont even know
swear she thinks i care but god i really dont
must be boring when my voice is monotone

keep him pressured, i can do this on my own
shooting arson as it melts between the snow
ill burn his house down, pouring petrol on the road
he cant leave hes getting covered in the smoke

just give it up im getting out of your life
i dont really give a fuck if no ones bothering mine
u said its okay
better dead then alive
said its not my fault
ur heart beats closer to mine
i dont know how to look at you
fighting for my life so baby please just drop the attitude
looking in the mirror
i dont know whats gotten into you
throw myself in water with some concreted tied onto my shoes
i mean nothing else to you

okay,.
die
ok
alone?

travelling at 60 going home
the bottom of the bridge is looking warm
promise me that you wont tell a soul
i gave up everything so you could have it all

she kept calling every number on my phone
texting people there that i dont even know
swear she thinks i care but god i really dont
must be boring when my voice is monotone

keep him pressured, i can do this on my own
shooting arson as it melts between the snow
ill burn his house down, pouring petrol on the road
he cant leave hes getting covered in the smoke

arson

track 3: closer w/ @1tuxx


lyrics:
B MURPH:

The closer you get
The more you seem to fuck with my head
And the more I wish that I was dead
I’m getting too close to the edge
So I watch my step
And you say you’ve been trying your best
Well I guess this is the best we’ll get
I’m falling back down again
(Down again)

So please don’t get too close I’ll cover my face
I don’t want you to see
(I don’t want you to see)
That I’ve been hurting inside and you’re the one I really need
(The one I really need)

TUXX:

Don’t step, too close or you might meet the edge
You say I’m far from dead
At least we don’t know what the end consists of
So let’s try our best
Until you’re staring at the sky
With both of your eyes telling you why
You won’t find a thing inside
So can you try to help it make sense, at least play pretend
I know I’m not the person that you’ll understand
And I can’t comprehend what’s inside my own head
It gets harder to manage, it hurts in my chest

B MURPH:

The closer you get
The more you seem to fuck with my head
And the more I wish that I was dead
I’m getting too close to the edge
So I watch my step
And you say you’ve been trying your best
Well I guess this is the best we’ll get
I’m falling back down again
(Down again)

So please don’t get too close I’ll cover my face
I don’t want you to see
(I don’t want you to see)
That I’ve been hurting inside and you’re the one I really need
(The one I really need)

So please don’t get too close I’ll cover my face
I don’t want you to see
(I don’t want you to see)
That I’ve been hurting inside and you’re the one I really need
(The one I really need)

closer w/ tuxx

lights in the dark
feeling sick when you talk
was it easy to know?
is it easy to walk?
i feel weightless
gather dust in the basement

pressed in your clothes
act like nobody knows
that you made it to august to wake up alone
as its breaking
haven't spoke in the days since

i've been cautious and sober
he died in october 
he said that hes fine 
now the lights flicker slowly in bayview
couldn't face that they made you

i could finish early it could get so cold
raining in the summer and it takes me home
felt it more than life and how'd i let you go?
let you go

and the light doesn't know that im still here
but i'd rather take it away
and everythings all so familiar 
and i've not a thing left to say yet
better than watching
better than watching you pretend

Familiar

the winds so much colder this year
and my body heat
my body heats reserved by yours
i cant find no substance like it
no tea or coffee ever clones it
my anxietys so bad
play with my fingers look away when you glance
i try to look bothered 
you dont understand
come off so awkward and less of a man

she owns like everything that i wear
and i keep getting thoughts as if we never left
cause its 0 degrees in both places
so its like nothing even changed but i cant see your face yet

my body cant cope without holding yours i cant face it
even just the little things like smelling on your fragrance
i can barely form a sentence, and i dont talk much
youve got a grip around me, i feel i dont need to hold on

only source of motivation, i dont need to practise
tell me now to break my spine oh love ive already cracked it
cause its 0 degrees, in both places
nothing even changed but love i cannot hold your face yet

say that youre forgetting it 
but how could you just lie to me 
you knew id do anything youd ask of me 
just try and see 
holding your resentment toward me 
isn’t it so tiring
keeping all these thoughts locked inside until I’m spiralling

Out of control 
all on my own 
I’ll take you on 
can’t hide from the truth 
when you know what you’ve (lyre) done

Standing my GROUND
I see them NOW 
All the voices they start to scream OUT

No more of your LIES 
cold look in your EYES
your zero degrees 
know the frost when it bites

degrees ft. chalyre

It’s so cold will you bring me warm
And I would never do you harm
The taste of the dirt on my tongue humbles me again 
Even when I’m hurt I’ll protect you until the very end 
Looking back I’m at fault for never stepping in
And I can love you better babe you just gotta tell me when 

X2: Used to find peace
when I go to sleep
Now my nightmares haunt me like a knife and I fucking bleed 
never knew me never knew what the fucks best for me 

December is creeping along painfully slow
Ever since I fucked it all up by letting her go 
It’s funny how the loves never there when you need it most 
Throw stones at my porcelain heart and act like it’s while 
So lay me down in roses when I pass on to the other side 
And I pray you feel the same when I say there’s nothing else you could’ve tried 
I’m still in her arms I fall asleep and I dream at night 
Peace misses chaos that’s my broken mind
So stuck in silence  
Fire fills my eyelids 
All these toxins inside this alcohol leave me beaten up 
Nightmares from this poison inside this liquor cup 

Used to find peace
when I go to sleep
Now my nightmares haunt me like a knife and I fucking bleed 
never knew me never knew what the fucks best for me

Maybe I can just lay in this field forever 
Waiting for death to come and wash me over 
And turn all my bones into four leaf clovers 
And no I don’t wanna sleep (no more)
Turn your ashes to dirt that you leave on your front porch 
Leave my heart for the trees (go home)
Tell the people I love not to grieve when I let go 
You said to me it’s fine 
Don’t wait and change my mind 
So now I’m starting to sleep turning dust into dreams like the stars in the midnight sky 
(I don’t wanna go)

I don’t wanna bleed 
I don’t wanna sleep 
And I don’t wanna leave 
Yeah I don’t wanna leave 

(And I don’t wanna run)
But I’ve been feeling so done 
Only place I’m finding peace is inside a loaded gone 
Insomnia up for weeks just let me be let me rot 
Terrified to go to sleep I got no where I can run

I dont wanna sleep ft. Sewerperson and Days to Waste (Irby/Jolst)

B ITTERSWEET ft. guardin

prod: never forever 
master: https://soundcloud.com/vito2300

put aside my emotion
i wasn't important 
he touched someone else
that night my body was forfeit
i like it when he record it 
watch it back and feel gorgeous 
i think i need help 
but i'm so good at ignoring,
ignoring it 

ima pour this bottle all out
till i feel my life breaking down 
and i hate myself even now 
don't know what that's all about
and i hate my songs 
won't show my face 
took a couple steps back 
went m.i.a
insane 
didn't learn my lesson 
nothing ever mattered when i try my best and
most days i just feel like a reject 
friends fake n then ask for my preset
hands up, 
asked god for a reason 
blood soaked and i beg for the meaning
most days wake up and i'm screaming 
and my body just shake like im fiending
painful, i remember the feeling 
stitch myself cause i dream i'm in pieces

important

sitting in bed til my legs fall asleep, closest to dead that, i’ve ever been
obsessing over memories 
the thought of the peace that was
 now 
i can’t rid the thought of the sheets 
done seeking expectations 
waiting, how i could’ve saved it 
wont fall into the palm of my hand 
reading texts gone crazy daily, 
sick at the thought to never see you again 
i miss the times that you would call
as soon as i’d leave 
line dancing in the room 
with speakers flying free
i think maybe it was all 
what could not be 
you just let it dissolve
why couldn’t i bleed 

couldn’t get a slow burn 
blinked you were gone 
and seeing somebody else 
afraid to move forward 
but there’s no turning back 
can forgive 
but can’t forget what was felt 
the image of his hands on you 
singed in my head 
regarding what is left 
meter feeling empty 
never could hate you, and you know that the best 
wish i knew why you resent me

closer w/ tuxx

B Murph