a song about the time i spend wishing i was just like everyone else

/

i wish that i could feel
breeze blowing on my skin
i wish that i could heal
but the knife goes further in
hopeful tone of voice, but you still dont believe this
make a deal with god cuz you really need this
silence in the night, you dont wanna feel this
im onto you

dont tell me where it hurts because i dont wanna know
if you see the river can you tell me how it flows?
am i doomed to do this all again?
no, i dont wanna see this, i want it to end

just push me to shore, before they pull me down
oh is there something more? or will i just drown
again, again, i dont have a defense
im cut from the cloth of the sky, heavensent
just push me to shore, before they pull me down
(pull me down, pull me down, pull me down, pull me down)

the skys too bright at night and the moons too red
3:30 on the clock when i go to bed
ill prove that im invincible right here on this ledge
i know ill grow my wings when i fall off of the edge
i hear sweet melodies
youll never make me take my medley
of whites, of reds, of blues, of blacks,
of poison, this is an attack

just push me to shore, before they pull me down
oh is there something more? or will i just drown

just push me to shore, before they pull me down
oh is there something more? or will i just drown
again, again, i dont have a defense
im cut from the cloth of the sky, heavensent
just push me to shore, before they pull me down
(pull me down, pull me down, pull me down, pull me down)

I shave my legs and my arms
Hoping one day I'll be part
Of everything that you take for granted, see 
I'll punch my mirror again
And cut my wrists with the shards
I'm floating, don't want to sink in the granite sea 
Falling apart at the seams
I'm not doing this for me
It drips, it signals a crack to bring a flood 
If it's just like what you think
I'll die alone at nineteen
In a hospital covered in my own blood

Is that so crazy?  God I swear
Just to hear the things I hear
If it is, that still doesn't mean you get to drag me by my hair 
Out of the dream I breathe and wear
If it's fake I still don't care
Because I'd rather be a god of nothing than have this cloudy stare 
I'm not so crazy, can't you see
I don't care about what you think
Either way I guess it's destiny if I breathe or sink 
Can you please not look at me?
Because I am scared of what you'll see
Because I could look like a god or just a girl who scared to breathe

just push me gently to shore, just push me gently to shore

just push me to shore, just push me to shore
the tide will take me home, as it has done before

just push me to shore, before they pull me down
oh is there something more? or will i just drown
just push me to shore, before they pull me down
oh is there something more? or will i just drown
or will i just drown

pushed to shore

a song about my roots and the childhood i lost

/

veered into a ditch
theres no coming back from that
hard to find my way
visions in and out of black
is there nothing to look forward to at home?
is there really nothing, nowhere i could go?

im just so imperfect
how was i made from scraps of you?
and my childhoods fading
im just grasping at scraps of youth
i swear im really trying to see the light in this
i wake up not to silence, but to a deafening hiss
the choir is getting louder, they tell me i should quit
they tell me that if im not dead, then im not doing shit
(how was i made)
im just so imperfect
how was i made from scraps of you?
and my childhoods fading
im just grasping at scraps
your words are falling flat, youre fading in the mix
its so hard to forget about this feeling that ive sinned
i think about the time that, he brushed against my skin
and even when he tried to push, the issue didnt fit
(how was i made)

save your breath for another day
save excuses, please
you gave me all that youve got
but now its starting to rot
i cant take it

its not enough, not enough, not enough,
its not enough, not enough, not enough

how was i made from scraps of you?
how was i made from scraps of you?
i didnt get to be,
the girl i wanted to be
how was i made from scraps of you?
how was i made from scraps of you?
its not my fault

scraps of you

t pain remix :3

art by discount-supervillain on tumblr

alcohol

original by @flatroomvr , @cmten , and daniel bearnas

https://soundcloud.com/flatroomvr/bloodsugar-ft-cmten

!! happy halloween !!

flatroom - blood sugar (hyperlnxx flip)

healing (feat. saoirse dream)

The public becomes disillusioned by the recent behavior of a once beloved celebrity.

fragile creatures

Lorem ipsum - Fame itself ✼

Sglily Scream Cover

day2day

happy birthday @thatcherblackwood
i love your own unique style you have on producing
also the gimmicks you put in your tracks always interests me

so, to express my admiration for you, i made a little remix of your song
umm hope you enjoy this and have a wonderful day

boreal - thatcherblackwood (birthday flip)

that marijuana

this week i sat down with Jane Remover to talk headlining a tour for the first time, 2014 coming back in style, the best mario kart tracks and her sophomore album Census Designated.

follow jane @janeremover on all platforms.

Jane Remover Interview - The Backlight Podcast Ep. 34

all the voices you'll wish you heard sooner. 

home of The Blacklight, a podcast dedicated to unearthing all the best talent the underground has to offer.

Jane Remover Interview - The Backlight Podcast Ep. 34

BACKLIGHT