Battle Bytes Complete Collection

SEEYUH

Battle Bytes is a new series from UBERocity that is basically the One Minute Melee of rap battles. Two rappers, one verse each, any matchup goes.

MetalFire as Mr. Burns
Mancha as Mr. Freeze

Freeze:
This Pennyworthless prick is about to lose millions!
Spit it iller than this Stooge--I’m a chill supervillain!
When your assets are frozen I'll show this misanthrope
That when it comes to atoms he’s an Iced-otope!
I’m a Burn Freezer, and I’m owning you, geezer 
With a Christmas diss to piss off Ebenezer!
This monotoned bag of bones will get mono-railed
In this Feast for Crows you Snow I’ve prevailed!

Burns:
I’ve got an Ivy League win, I’m a power plant!
So I’ll expel you from a battle like Billionaire Camp!
Took shots from two babies and both times survived!
Don’t be surprised at my reaction to meltdown your wife!
You can’t find Asylum from C. M. the MC
And you’ll be frost bitten when the Hounds are released
So silence, Snow Miser, I’ll live on in Epochs!
Your weeping’s just why they call it cry-ogenics!

Mr. Burns vs Mr. Freeze. Battle Bytes #1

shrock

Mancha as Alexander the Great
Eddie as Link

Alexander:
They sent A Link to the Past just to face Alexander?
You can’t Tri-force yourself to win against a commander
This elf will wish he hadn’t faced the King of Macedon
When I make this Dodongo swallow my rap bombs
I’m An-enemy, a god, I’ll shock ‘ya, Greece lightning!
My heritage divine divined I’m electrifying!
You think you’re a problem with the items you’ve got 
But excuuuuse me, princess. It’s simple, you’re Knot!

Link:
You’d think that “The Great” would live up to his name
But even a recorder leaves me more blown away
You can’t take down a Legend! When I Wind I’ll dethrone ya!
Go jump on your horse before I E-pwn-y’a
I Glee-rok shrock the roof with my Flame Rod rhymes, boy
Heat leaves you a fever: Ocarina of Typhoid 
I Master both Swords and Words when it’s my time to strike
Aristotle should’ve taught ya how to Hy-rule the mic


Battle Bytes

Alexander the Great vs Link. Battle Bytes #2

Happy Birthday to Seth!

Adam as Pringles
Seth as Monopoly

Pringles:
Here’s something to chew on, you affluent half-wit
Bite me, do me a flavor, and can it!
Sorry! Get a Clue, or you’ll Risk occupation
The Park Brothers don’t have a Place in Recreation
Collect two hundred reasons why I shouldn’t be nice
Popping caps like tops with just a roll of the dice
You put people to sleep, I own the snack food Monopoly!
No card will get you out of this ass kicking for free

Monopoly:
I’m getting board of this game, so you’re gonna get played
Since I’m more successful than when Cats was on Broadway
I’ve got stacks upon stacks of cash, but your snacks
Will take a topple and make like the stock markets: crash
Because my victory is like your loans would be, default
I can really taste the vinegar that’s paired with your salt
So get off of my property, you Newfangled Fuck!
Don’t take a Chance against me or you’ll Go straight to bankrupt


Julius Pringles vs Mr. Monopoly. Battle Bytes #3

"Who are these people?" This is a battle I wrote for school, shortened down by a bit for the BB Format. (Original was 8844) Vignelli was a famous Modernist designer, being very strict with his designs and ideas, always following a grid. Duchamp was a Dadaist artist, meaning his work was wacky and not necessarily made for the eye but for the mind. I included a reference guide at the bottom.

Yobar as Duchamp
Mancha as Vignelli

Duchamp:
Make way for the Du-champion! En Avant Garde! 
I have Readymade rhymes, but I’m not indifferent to this blowhard!
I’ve never seen a man with such a fetish for a typeface!
You’re going down! Screwed, and descending a staircase!
Let’s talk about your wife, she’s a real Mona Lisa
Elle a chaud au cul, like my disses will leave ‘ya!
All your pieces look the same, it’s no wonder they’re flawed!
So I’ll leave you with one question... who's your Dada?

Vignelli:
It makes sense that a blockhead would call himself a Cubist
I heard your verse, now I’ll tell you what my post impression is
The best at a battle because I’m skilled when it comes to mock
-ups! You know I'll bring you Hell on the side of a box--AH
You’ve got me pissed, like your fountain, so I’ll flush it away
Man, you’re even more unpopular than my map of the Subway!
I’m a Helvetica veteran, you’re a mess of a man in a wrecked state 
Who’s a victim of chess, which will end in a checkmate

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1B7iYOK616Aq_GlGuAwRPegu56j0jXkii9Utb-1uDdc0/edit?usp=sharing

Massimo Vignelli vs Marcel Duchamp. Battle Bytes #4

Skeep as Tattletail
JMB as Mama Tattletail
Atronach's Aura as Tatl
Eddiefrb as Tael


Tattletail
Play time for me! Big fun! Hide and seek!
‘Til me trap you in my eggs! Ah ah! No peeking!
Arguing? Stealing masks? Me know what you did…
This pair of Deku Scrubs will be left a pair of Skulls, kid!
Your Time’s running out even when me sing a Song
And you’ll go Clock Down if you don’t play along
Disses for you! Tattletail, that’s me!
No more Mama and no more fairies!

Tatl and Tael
You’re in Majora trouble, prepare for a brush with misery
Quickly Termina this baby and return to our trickery!
A treat? We’ve made an Oath to Order you to disengage
It’s your final day, you little son of a! Turn the page.
No pentagram could banish our fierce deity incarnate
Better get some rest, I’ve just made you my Zeeeee-target!
Can’t return this Furby cuz he just was built too cheap
So we’ll tattletale to Mama ‘bout how you won’t get your sleep

Tattletail vs Tatl & Tael. Battle Bytes #5

JMB as Bendy
Metalfire as Bender

Bendy:
Bender lives a life eternal but it seems to be for naught
Cuz, hehe, I’m more alive than you’ll ever be, robot!
This sketchy wreck should follow through on all his threats of suicide
Or else you’ll watch this classic leaving Jake the Dog deep Fry’d
The creator lied to you! He doesn’t want another season!
So I’ll take the crown, and then you’ll see a real Dancing Demon
Get out of your closet, alcoholic, because I’ve already won!
You’re Farnsworthless and forgotten! Good news, everyone!

Bender: 
Bend over and Battle Byte my shiny metal ass
Me? I’m 100% fire! You? One hundred percent trash
Bender is the greatest! But you’re not quite the looker
I’ll get a new rap opponent, with blackjack, and hookers!
I even topped all your horror as a were-car, it shows
But I won’t activate the ink pressure to help out with your flow!
I’ll rock the roof on your workshop, you’re now stuck in Bender’s Game!
 *belch* Since your Groening voice makes Disney roll in his grave

Bendy vs Bender. Battle Bytes #8

In celebration of the N-Sane Trilogy, set to release on June 30th, 2017, the orange marsupial, Crash Bandicoot, faces off against his old, fire-breathing friend, Spyro, in the fifth addition of Wicked Crossover Rap Battles!

______________________________________________________________
CAST

► Crash Bandicoot, voiced by
Fle
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCur4uGqKrsKTgw4ht7PKDeQ?view_as=subscriber

► Spyro, voiced by 
Eddiefrb
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCzeVric_Vra1xgQzMQKj_aw
https://twitter.com/DiamondDaybreak
______________________________________________________________
Production
 
► Written by
Mathew Swift, R, DCRaps, Henry Jones 
 
► Beat produced by
Kustom
 
► Edited by
 ?????
 
► Audio Mixed by 
Mathew Swift
 
WHO WON?
http://www.strawpoll.me/13061953

Crash Bandicoot VS Spyro the Dragon - Wicked Crossover Rap Battles - Season One

Pepe
It’s time to get things started, my shit’s LIT like the lights
Got a frog in your throat? I’ll show a Muppet blows tonight!
Looking for a Rainbow Connection? Any Boy’s Club would say
Appears you don't need chemtrails to turn the freaking frogs gay!
Think you're on top? You belong in the swamp with Shrek!
With a hand up your ass proving you’re a bottom kek!
Date a pig and plan on marionette? I’m so horrified
Pulling the strings until this Muppet Kermits suicide!

Kermit
I barely heard your voice and I know why you hate speech
Zip your fat Lip-tons, and tone down the normie screech
It may be none of my business, but are you alright?
Or are you feeling bad, man, with the Furie-ous alt-right!
It’s Easy Being Green when presented with my flow
And when I’m runnin’ the Show, I can just roll up the window
The Constantine Truth’s that that Boi’s a bad may-may
A joke beaten to death is the least rare Pepe!

Adam as Kermit
Mancha as Pepe
Written by Mancha, Adam, and Eddiefrb
Beat by Kustom

Kermit vs Pepe. Battle Bytes #20

Welcome to Rap Battle EXE! Today we have the two masked killers seeking revenge for their loved ones, Jacket versus Jason Voorhees.

Alex The Beast as Jacket
Light as Jason Voorhees

Written by: Evan
Mixed by: Vladimyr P.
Beat by: Hala-X
Cover by: Evan

Jason:
It’s time for an Overkill, as the Father of horror has been awoken.
I'll drill this Cock-head through his skull, nigh his powers be broken
If a Fight’s what you want, then your in for your final Pay Day
Cause you won’t be the first of horny Jocks I’ve brutally slain
Listen Son, just know that I’m Uber in this type of Mortal Kombat
You won’t break these bars like prison, it doesn’t take a God to know that
I’ll Burnout a Hotline, even if your series is abysmal
No more Camping anymore, Jason’s home, clear as Crystal

Jacket:
Let’s put my mask down, it’s been almost 40 years, it’s your time to go
Please exercise caution when testing me, I’ll drown you with my flow 
With all these amateur directors, even Para-mounting, he was sure to fall
Still with the Wrong Number, I’ll X out Jason once and for all
You won’t be taking Miami like Manhattan with all the weapons that I’m packing 
So with how this Brawl goes, I guess Jason lives and dies for slashing
I’ll Mutilate another Midnight Animal, just get the picture
You won't be able to recover, man, I’m taking you to Richard

Jason:  
It seems that you’re Russian victory, cause all the bombs you drop are duds
Better count your 50 Blessings fast, cause this killer murders for blood
Be ready Freddy, I promise my machete’s Pain will be devastating
I’ll make your Fever Dreams finally come true, now don’t leave your girlfriend waiting

Jacket:
I know you like hurting other people, and I don't mean to be rude
But that seems to be pretty apparent after all your game’s reviews, BOOM!
So go back to Hell with you! You’re one more step from getting Burned
I would say cry back to Mommy, but it seems the tides have turned

Jacket VS. Jason Voorhees - Rap Battle EXE

Greg Heffley:
Yo Steve, I gotta say this aint it chief
You’re not religious, well I’ll make you believe
You’re so twink, you’ll trip over your sweater, you boo
So what’s you and a litta bitto blue gonna do
Put you threw the news and a noose, cuz you aint gotta clue
You’ll consume deez nudes, dude, you’re rude so skadoodle doo
You’re a nonce, from france, you cant dance, you just lie
I’d put my fist in your face if my arms weren’t fries

Steve Burns:
We just got a letter, too bad I can’t read
You’ll bleed and you’ll scream when competing with Steve
Your Zoo Wee Mama’s so fat she probably eats often
You make me sick and need a coffin like a cough from Scott Cawthon
I’ll leave you like my future………… BALD.
You don’t need a phone cause I won’t give you any calls
You thought my run was done? Well, yeah it is
BUT SO IS YOURS YOU STICK FIGURE LITTLE BITCH

Greg Heffley:
Listen here, Steve, you lil’ bitch
If you didn’t wanna leave Blue’s Clues why’d you fuckin snitched
Cya later alligator, do me a favour with some flavour 
Support Trump Bros! He’s our last saviour! Check your behaviour!

Steve Burns:
You’re making me cry you dumb fucking cock
I spit sneaky raps as if I was a sock, you shmock
Bet you didn’t know I was the bear in the Revenant
You’re just angry because I’m your Jesus President!

Grumpy Growly Australian:
GDAY MATE! I’m not hungry, I just ate! 
I just got a letter from your mum- you’re gay!
When it comes to blues clues, I PREFER JOE! 
So………  go! 
Diss me? I’ll just use a reverse uno card
Don’t be so mad; this game was rigged from the start
You’ll slip up on the slippy floor 
Laying you down, easy, that's bathroom floor
I wanna die at the time of the night, in the light cuz I cry when I’m frying a pie
…. AIGHT! 
I’m loading your mams diaper with my dick, prick 
​if you could live in one fictional universe, what would you pick?
MUHAHAHAHAHAH, you’re finished 
Don’t be scared, you'll die within a few minutes

Alright we did it

Greg Heffley vs Steve Burns - Epic Wap Battlw!!!!!

Welcome back to X Rap Battles. It's been quite a while. Three months to be exact. But now, we've returned.

Light as Gambit
Vladimyr P. as Yugi Muto

Written by Jugheadjay, Bork, and MetaMachine

--Lyrics--

Gambit:
Handling Gambit's quite the... well, it's in the name, kid.
Cards on the table, step out of granddaddy's basement!
Face it, you're Ash Ketchum, minus the balls.
Ask Apocalypse! I make pyramids fall!
Looking at this battle, I think I'll double down.
Another lame anime hero battling struggles? Wow.
You've got no tricks up the sleeve when facing this foe!
Looks like the King of Games just met his ace in the hole!

Yugi Muto:
Time to... d-d-d-d-duel!
This can't be! I mean, that verse was so boring, man.
You best go back to being forgotten in X-Men Origins!
Try to beat a king, but Wolverine's shadow’s where you’re at,
Cause when people hear “Remy”, they think of the other rat!
LaBeau, you’re no foe! Your...rapping is so-so!
Matched...against a Muto, best...whip out your bō, bro!
Your comics? Forgotten! The spotlight? I’m rockin’!
Call your X-friends in before you’re bluffing in a coffin!
I could outmatch any magic tricks that this fool musters,
But a mutant moron? I thought that I was done with Duel Monsters!
My skills are indestructible, while your life is dysfunctional!
You can call me your girlfriend because I’m untouchable!

Gambit:
If you’re trying to throw this fight, then I’d have to give a bravo,
Cause unlike your TV shows, you’re not hard to follow.
You have no effect on me, I’m past your fight level!
My eyes and rhymes burn red, I’m the white devil!
I’m nicking victories in spades! Better keep your chin up!
I’m packing a full deck, you’re stuck on 52-pickup!
So attack all you want, go and activate your trap cards,
The truth is, Yugi, you simply lack heart!

Yugi Muto:
This wannabe-hero hobo tries to spit flamin’ bars,
But he couldn’t be hot, even if Channing Tatum stars!
You and I cannot compare! (Oh!) This matchup isn’t fair! (Oh!)
Another peasant failed to overtake the mighty Pharaoh!


Thank you for listening!

Hint for next time: 
"Batman vs Robin"

Gambit vs. Yugi Muto - X Rap Battles #8.

In this thrilling third installment of Ciphers of the Unknown, it's a matchup of "playful" proxies fighting to become the supreme being. Who won? That's up for you to decide...

Lyrics and Info: https://docs.google.com/document/d/16spbfi5SWZkRSuCqz36MuP391LGWhIRVJZlhq0isak8/edit?usp=sharing

"Slender Man vs The Observer"? | Ciphers of the Unknown

Thumbnail by Trakked

Stofferex as Waluigi
Raichous as Aran Ryan
 
Beat by 2Deep
Written by Raichous
Mixed by Raichous
Edited by Raichous
 
-LYRICS-

WALUIGI
Wah! Waluigi! No boxer gonna beat me
Especially not the one who is always caught cheating
Competing with me face to face is a big fail
Almost as bad as that long ugly rat tail
I’ll laugh out loud as this big mouthed disgrace falls
Waluigi gonna bat you round like a baseball
How could you compete, Waluigi is super!
When I get a KO try not to be a sore loser!

ARAN
Let’s go, let’s go! You can have the first swing
Cuz it won’t be me who’s knocked out in the ring
Wario got into Smash, while you’re forced to sit back
Has this crotch-chopping loser got burgers in his raps!?
For the tallest of four, you’re the most like a baby
Maybe that’s why you always strike out with Daisy
When I’m caught cheating, I tell the ref to shove it
Now keep hitting me with disses, stringbean, cuz I love it

WALUIGI
I’m not even losing, and you’re already being childish
To beat me, you would really need the luck of the Irish
Waluigi has this battle already won
Since you have to hide horseshoes in your gloves
You’re so pathetic, you wouldn’t even beat Peach
The only luck you had was being put on the wii
To cheat against a kid, you must really be a sad man
Let’s see your glove on a rope beat my back hand

ARAN
You should just give up on competition, catch my drift?
Since the only trophy you could ever get is an assist
You’re gonna learn how it feels to get hit by a truck
The “L” on your cap is upside down for bad luck
With one haymaker you’ll drop like a pitfall
Bouncing off the corners, Waluigi Pinball
You think that your sport skills would get you ahead, but
Your wire frame cracks under the pressure of my headbutt

Waluigi vs. Aran Ryan - Raichous Rap Battles

VinnyO as Light
Freshy Kanal as Eggman
Extra Instruments by VinnyO and Freshy Kanal
Mix by Freshy Kanal

Light:
Take a look at yourself - you're a rotten apple, both in and out you're just revolting
Building machines that instantly get destroyed - leaving Eggman nuts and bolting
I’m one for cancelling announcements, I see with no need for shinigami eyes that
For an Eggman with a so-called master plan, you're more of a walrus with a short lifespan
My plans fell into place like your rip-off of Tetris 
I'm a king, I’m a god, you're a schmuck, don't you get this?
You build bots since you're more friendless than Memphis 
I smite every chump whose name's writ on my checklist
Is it Ivo Robotnik, Kobintor, or Eggman? PICK ONE ALREADY! What the hell do I write?
Close your eyes, in the sequel it seems that you won’t be seeing the Light
  
Eggman:
Snooping as usual ? You fool! You will never know my name!
You’re only a god of the Lost World, but I’ve Advanced on the track, so this is no game
Your pad and pen tricked you to demonize, 
and you’re left obsessed with your demon eyes
Live action films were your deemed demise 
But they franchised mine as my dreams arised
How blinded have you gotten--it’s clear your shinigami is da foe
I thought that it would be clear only a psychopath would dare to use Light mode
Go run back to your Amy Rose, no queen can check this game to close
I have a -- Death Note to make: You have to grim reap what you sow!

Tattletail vs Tatl & Tael. Battle Bytes #5

Battle Bytes | UBERocity

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